Nothing Deep
Sometimes Eiji wanted a cigarette. There was nothing wrong with that, he thought, just a simple venture into the realm of self-destruction. Or. Something like that. He wasn't entirely sure. Nevertheless, it didn't stop the craving. He used to smoke, sometime back when he was a teenager in a "rebellious" stage. It continued into college but it wasn't anything more than casual smoking. Was that a thing? He wasn't entirely sure.
Yet, one day he stopped. No three day plan, no patches, just... stopped. Ran out of his box of cigarettes and didn't buy another. It wasn't a conscious effort on his part, no no, just... something he did.
But sometimes he wanted one, which was perfectly okay except he would never stay there in Chiyoko-san's restaurant and... smoke. That was absurd really, it's just... downright rude and he wouldn't do it.
So instead he took a trip to the park nearby, sitting on a bench and pulled out his pack of cigarettes to light one up. It was almost refreshing the way the smoke entered his lungs, swirled around a bit and blew out through his nose. He liked it, the tingling sensation it gave -- just he could never understand how people could become addicted to it. Though that was him and they were them so he would never really judge ... just, not understand.
Sometimes Ankh followed and he could see the bird sitting in a tree nearby, eying him or playing on his iPad or something. Just... never near by. Never next to him, always from a distance. Eiji wasn't sure why -- maybe it was bird senses or something in regards to the smoke. Maybe it was something entirely different. Eiji was never sure but hey, at least Ankh let him be.
One day though, one day Ankh came straight up to him as he sat down and went to light up the cigarette and tore it out of his mouth, put it in his own and lit it up. Eiji was confused, obviously, but just watched him do it. After a few puffs, Ankh pulled the cigarette out of his mouth -- just like an amateur actually, burning his finger and all -- and then spat on the ground with a curse.
"Why?" he asked, words spitting out like the dark spit on the ground. Eiji furrowed his brows and gave a shrug which just prompted Ankh to take another drag of the cigarette.
"You humans, so greedy, so disgusting and-- and artificial. Always searching for that quick fix, that immediate pleasure. I don't get it and--" Shaking his head and letting out a click of his tongue, he spat on the ground again before dropping the cigarette to the ground and stomping it out with his boot.
Staring at Eiji then, those sharp eyes right on his own, Ankh sneered. "You're looking for happiness through that?"
Eiji shook his head.
"Then... pleasure, is it?"
Another shake of the head.
"Escape? Freedom? Self destruction? What?"
A shrug and Ankh snarled, grabbing at Eiji's parka and shaking him.
"It's disgusting! Why... why are you so useless? And whenever I do try to figure out what... what fuels you! What makes you tick and what you desire, you never give me a god damn thing and-- fuck you, Eiji Hino!"
Now, perhaps Eiji should feel bad -- he was shocked, yes, but not guilty. Just kind of curious -- so very curious. So, he raised an eyebrow and stood up to be level with Ankh. Hands slipping into his pockets, he slouched slightly as he tilted his head to the side.
"You're... trying to figure me out?"
"Of course! How else am I going to use you for my benefit?"
A roll of his eyes, "It's nothing really all that deep, Ankh. It's not a desire, it's just... I don't know how to explain it. Ever wanted to chew a piece of gum? It's not nutritional or edible or anything. Just... gum. It's kind of like that."
"What the hell is gum?"
Eiji just let out a soft laugh at that and nodded towards the park exit. "Let's go back."
"Wait-- Eiji, what is gum?!"
Ignoring him, Eiji just grabbed his hand and tugged him along towards the restaurant, tossing his cigarettes along the way. He supposed, idly, the next time he wanted a cigarette -- or, well, gum -- he might just go to Ankh instead. After all, the craving was gone now.
Yet, one day he stopped. No three day plan, no patches, just... stopped. Ran out of his box of cigarettes and didn't buy another. It wasn't a conscious effort on his part, no no, just... something he did.
But sometimes he wanted one, which was perfectly okay except he would never stay there in Chiyoko-san's restaurant and... smoke. That was absurd really, it's just... downright rude and he wouldn't do it.
So instead he took a trip to the park nearby, sitting on a bench and pulled out his pack of cigarettes to light one up. It was almost refreshing the way the smoke entered his lungs, swirled around a bit and blew out through his nose. He liked it, the tingling sensation it gave -- just he could never understand how people could become addicted to it. Though that was him and they were them so he would never really judge ... just, not understand.
Sometimes Ankh followed and he could see the bird sitting in a tree nearby, eying him or playing on his iPad or something. Just... never near by. Never next to him, always from a distance. Eiji wasn't sure why -- maybe it was bird senses or something in regards to the smoke. Maybe it was something entirely different. Eiji was never sure but hey, at least Ankh let him be.
One day though, one day Ankh came straight up to him as he sat down and went to light up the cigarette and tore it out of his mouth, put it in his own and lit it up. Eiji was confused, obviously, but just watched him do it. After a few puffs, Ankh pulled the cigarette out of his mouth -- just like an amateur actually, burning his finger and all -- and then spat on the ground with a curse.
"Why?" he asked, words spitting out like the dark spit on the ground. Eiji furrowed his brows and gave a shrug which just prompted Ankh to take another drag of the cigarette.
"You humans, so greedy, so disgusting and-- and artificial. Always searching for that quick fix, that immediate pleasure. I don't get it and--" Shaking his head and letting out a click of his tongue, he spat on the ground again before dropping the cigarette to the ground and stomping it out with his boot.
Staring at Eiji then, those sharp eyes right on his own, Ankh sneered. "You're looking for happiness through that?"
Eiji shook his head.
"Then... pleasure, is it?"
Another shake of the head.
"Escape? Freedom? Self destruction? What?"
A shrug and Ankh snarled, grabbing at Eiji's parka and shaking him.
"It's disgusting! Why... why are you so useless? And whenever I do try to figure out what... what fuels you! What makes you tick and what you desire, you never give me a god damn thing and-- fuck you, Eiji Hino!"
Now, perhaps Eiji should feel bad -- he was shocked, yes, but not guilty. Just kind of curious -- so very curious. So, he raised an eyebrow and stood up to be level with Ankh. Hands slipping into his pockets, he slouched slightly as he tilted his head to the side.
"You're... trying to figure me out?"
"Of course! How else am I going to use you for my benefit?"
A roll of his eyes, "It's nothing really all that deep, Ankh. It's not a desire, it's just... I don't know how to explain it. Ever wanted to chew a piece of gum? It's not nutritional or edible or anything. Just... gum. It's kind of like that."
"What the hell is gum?"
Eiji just let out a soft laugh at that and nodded towards the park exit. "Let's go back."
"Wait-- Eiji, what is gum?!"
Ignoring him, Eiji just grabbed his hand and tugged him along towards the restaurant, tossing his cigarettes along the way. He supposed, idly, the next time he wanted a cigarette -- or, well, gum -- he might just go to Ankh instead. After all, the craving was gone now.