Dissidia (sort of) ficlets: One by Ten
All written for the ffchaoticcosmos One by Ten challenge: take one character and pair them with each member of Team Cosmos or Team Chaos, with one sentence per pairing. Some of it came out serious, a lot of it came out crack-ish, and this was when I realised that Jecht is incredibly fun to write as in potentially awkward situations. :D
Firion (Team Cosmos)
Warrior of Light- Honour
He thought he’d outgrown hero worship long ago, but meeting the Warrior proves him wrong; his admiration for their honourable leader is so intense that he finds the smallest word of praise or slightest hint of a smile in his direction leaves him tongue-tied for ages after.
Onion Knight- Youth
Such determination in a boy so young is something Firion has nothing but admiration for.
Cecil- Purple
The first time he sees Cecil without his dark helmet, Firion’s gaze is drawn straight to his mouth and he finds himself mesmerised by every shape the knight’s painted lips make.
Kain- Jump
When he first sees Kain leap in battle, he finds himself wondering what his legs must look like under all that armour; it’s only a fleeting thought that he immediately crushes, but it still comes back to haunt him every time they talk.
Bartz- Mimic
Bartz could be anyone Firion wants him to be, but Firion just wishes he could get to know Bartz himself better.
Terra- Magic
When he first sees her transform into her Esper body, everything clicks into place- suddenly he understands why he could always sense this strange, pulsing energy around her, despite her slight frame and delicate face.
Cloud- Eyes
Firion is completely captivated by Cloud’s beautiful glowing eyes; and, much to his embarrassment, is caught staring more than once.
Tifa- Curves
Tifa’s outfit does little to conceal her full figure, which is why Firion finds himself spending most of their first meeting stuttering and adverting his eyes.
Aerith- Death
As his limbs go numb and his vision fades, he feels a warm hand on his forehead and a soft voice murmuring, “It’s OK, Firion...”
Squall- Lion With that battle quote, how could I not?
He emerges from the tent the next morning to find Zidane and Bartz sniggering and elbowing each other and doesn’t quite know how to react; he hadn’t expected Squall to be so loud.
Laguna- Lost
Even Firion, forever polite, has learnt to firmly say no to any and all of Laguna’s pleading suggestions that he should have a turn in leading the party.
Zidane- Treasure
“If you want it,” the genome calls back as he leaps through the trees with the bangle he’s just snatched straight from Firion’s hands, “come and get it!”
Tidus- Cry
He’s so used to Tidus being the one to keep everyone else’s spirits up that when he finds him in tears, he’s not sure what to do; he drops to his knees beside him and wraps his arms around him, awkward and hesitant, but well-meaning all the same; nothing could prepare him for Tidus latching on to him so tightly in response.
Yuna- Journey
One night, Yuna tells them all about her quest through her home world to end her people’s suffering; she’s just got to describing the freezing pathway to Macalania Temple when Firion sees where this is going and excuses himself from the group, face flushing bright red in the dark.
Shantotto- Wizard
He’s determined to show the tiny mage that any of his weapons are at least as good as any spell she’s got.
Prishe- Name
As soon as Prishe finds out his full name, she refuses to call him by anything but; she also refuses to do it in any way but this strange singsong tone she seems to have perfected just to wind him up.
Vaan- Age
“I did warn you,” Firion sighs as he hands the would-be pirate a potion for his black eye, “that most ladies would find that question insulting.”
Lightning- Pastry
“You’re not going to tell anyone,” she hisses, and he nods in reply, all too aware of the gunblade at his throat- there’s no way mentioning Lightning’s secret addiction to pastries to anyone else is worth his life.
Cosmos- Harmony
He wonders if she heard his promise of a place for her in his dream for the future; he wonders it all the more after she’s gone, and feels more guilt than ever before in his life.
Bartz- Team Cosmos
Warrior of Light- Strength
He wonders if their leader ever thinks about drawing strength from comrades around him, rather than just a distant, unreachable light.
Firion- Dream
There are some things even Bartz can’t mimic; one example would be that dreamy, faraway expression that softens Firion’s face whenever he talks about his hopes for the future, which is a shame because Bartz thinks it’s the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen.
Onion Knight- Intelligence
The younger boy might well talk down to him now and then as though he’s stupid, but Bartz soon gets him back by doing impressions of him whilst crouched on his knees to bring them to the same height.
Cecil- Moon
Bartz picks up Cecil’s battle techniques pretty quickly; the epic poses against the night sky take a bit longer to master.
Kain- Voice
It’s not only the female party members who are affected by Kain’s voice; it takes Zidane at least thirty seconds to get any kind of response from Bartz after the dragoon’s latest speech, and even then it’s just a shellshocked “guh”.
Terra- Certainty
The hardest thing to mimic about the half-Esper is her insecurity, that way she seems to draw in on herself away from the world; Bartz wonders briefly how to duplicate it before deciding that the better option by far would be to coax her out of her shell and help her be a little more like him.
Cloud- Mosey
When it was pointed out that Cloud’s walk was nowhere near as casual as Bartz’s impression suggested, he claimed artistic license and said he was being Cloud on an off day.
Tifa- Drink
When he wakes up the next morning with a splitting headache, he realises he might have a way to go before he can mirror the bartender’s alcohol tolerance.
Aerith- Smile
All of a sudden the mysterious girl in pink is gone, and all he can remember is her gentle smile.
Squall- Scar
Never the most tactful of people, especially whilst tipsy, Bartz leans over clumsily to press a finger against the scar between Squall’s eyes and mumbles “Tha’...where’d ya get it?”
Laguna- Cramp
Seeing Bartz mimic his leg cramps so accurately made Laguna flush and mutter something about a ‘manliness scale’.
Zidane- Tail
One time when they’re passing through The Rift, Zidane’s not paying attention and almost topples over the side of a disappearing structure; without thinking, Bartz grabs hold of his tail to haul him back to safety, and then spends the next hour or so wondering why the thief froze under his touch and now won’t meet his eye.
BONUS: Zidane- Flirt
They’d known each other about an hour by the time Zidane winks at him suggestively for the first time; never one to back down from a challenge, Bartz plays along, and soon there’s so much pretend flirting between them that the other party members aren’t sure they’re joking any more; neither of them are sure either.
Tidus- Energy
If anyone can match Tidus’s energy, it’s Bartz, which is probably just as well when he starts trying to master the blitzer’s moves.
Yuna- Dance
Seeing Yuna dance makes him miss his old red shirt, and he wonders if he can talk Cosmos into getting him another.
Shantotto-Laugh
“Mimic that laugh one more time,” Zidane warns, “And I will stab you!”
Prishe- Hunger
Prishe’s appetite is the easiest thing to mimic about her- he doesn’t even have to try.
Vaan- Pirate
“You just can’t be a pirate if you don’t drink rum,” Bartz says, sounding knowledgeable enough about it to make Faris proud, “That’s something even...I dunno, even Exdeath would know!”
Lightning- Ride
Just typical- he offers to take her chocobo riding and she raises him Sleipnir!
Cosmos- Crystal
“And so these crystals- do they, uh, maybe give us any...special...powers?”; “Bartz, if this is about the dancer outfit again...”
Jecht (Team Chaos)
Garland- Axe
He might’ve tried it, if it wasn’t for that incredibly dangerous-looking axe-sword-hybrid-thingy the other man kept swinging about- he might’ve been daring, but he wasn’t stupid.
The Emperor- UBOAR!
The prospect of potentially hearing that called out at the crucial moment is all it takes for Jecht to dismiss the thought as soon as it occurs to him.
Cloud of Darkness- Apathy
“Do not even consider it,” she (or is that they?) says, voice never once edging out of that almost bored drawl.
Golbez- Shadows
Blah, blah, angst, blah, blah, inner darkness- the guy’s way too wrapped up in his own problems to take a hint, so Jecht gives up.
Exdeath-Tree
Even the vast amount of crude jokes he could make on the word “wood” isn’t enough to convince Jecht that it might be a good idea.
Gilgamesh- Weapons
He throws out a few hints about “comparing weapons” to test the waters, but Gilgamesh is so obsessed with those swords of his that he takes him literally, pulling out Excalibur and launching into a whole big speech about it.
Kefka- Makeup
If Zanarkand had taught him one thing, it was that that much makeup usually meant its wearer was hiding something that’d give him a nasty shock come the morning after.
Sephiroth- Sword
One glance at the Masamune brought a thousand and more jokes about “compensating” to mind; not wanting to end up as a kebab, he’d turned away to check out different options.
Ultimecia- Time
He had this whole sneaking suspicion she might hide a stopwatch away somewhere to log the whole thing, which isn’t exactly an appealing thought.
Kuja- Drama
Kuja’s certainly beautiful, but it’s clear that any arrangement Jecht might have with him is likely to produce more drama than the average high school relationship.
Gabranth- Beard
“It’s the beard or me,” Gabranth tells him firmly, pushing him away almost as soon as he leans in; it’s a no brainer, really, because The Great Jecht isn’t going to sacrifice any proof of his manliness for something so minor as stubble rash.
Chaos- Leader
Their leader was just out of the question- quite apart from the whole Hell God Of All That Is Dark thing he had going on, the guy had faces growing from his kneecaps, which he found more than a little off putting.
BONUS ROUND: Jecht- Shoopuf
When he realised that he’d probably be better off trying to bed a shoopuf than any of his fellow minions, Jecht decided it was time to see what Team Cosmos had to offer.
Firion (Team Cosmos)
Warrior of Light- Honour
He thought he’d outgrown hero worship long ago, but meeting the Warrior proves him wrong; his admiration for their honourable leader is so intense that he finds the smallest word of praise or slightest hint of a smile in his direction leaves him tongue-tied for ages after.
Onion Knight- Youth
Such determination in a boy so young is something Firion has nothing but admiration for.
Cecil- Purple
The first time he sees Cecil without his dark helmet, Firion’s gaze is drawn straight to his mouth and he finds himself mesmerised by every shape the knight’s painted lips make.
Kain- Jump
When he first sees Kain leap in battle, he finds himself wondering what his legs must look like under all that armour; it’s only a fleeting thought that he immediately crushes, but it still comes back to haunt him every time they talk.
Bartz- Mimic
Bartz could be anyone Firion wants him to be, but Firion just wishes he could get to know Bartz himself better.
Terra- Magic
When he first sees her transform into her Esper body, everything clicks into place- suddenly he understands why he could always sense this strange, pulsing energy around her, despite her slight frame and delicate face.
Cloud- Eyes
Firion is completely captivated by Cloud’s beautiful glowing eyes; and, much to his embarrassment, is caught staring more than once.
Tifa- Curves
Tifa’s outfit does little to conceal her full figure, which is why Firion finds himself spending most of their first meeting stuttering and adverting his eyes.
Aerith- Death
As his limbs go numb and his vision fades, he feels a warm hand on his forehead and a soft voice murmuring, “It’s OK, Firion...”
Squall- Lion With that battle quote, how could I not?
He emerges from the tent the next morning to find Zidane and Bartz sniggering and elbowing each other and doesn’t quite know how to react; he hadn’t expected Squall to be so loud.
Laguna- Lost
Even Firion, forever polite, has learnt to firmly say no to any and all of Laguna’s pleading suggestions that he should have a turn in leading the party.
Zidane- Treasure
“If you want it,” the genome calls back as he leaps through the trees with the bangle he’s just snatched straight from Firion’s hands, “come and get it!”
Tidus- Cry
He’s so used to Tidus being the one to keep everyone else’s spirits up that when he finds him in tears, he’s not sure what to do; he drops to his knees beside him and wraps his arms around him, awkward and hesitant, but well-meaning all the same; nothing could prepare him for Tidus latching on to him so tightly in response.
Yuna- Journey
One night, Yuna tells them all about her quest through her home world to end her people’s suffering; she’s just got to describing the freezing pathway to Macalania Temple when Firion sees where this is going and excuses himself from the group, face flushing bright red in the dark.
Shantotto- Wizard
He’s determined to show the tiny mage that any of his weapons are at least as good as any spell she’s got.
Prishe- Name
As soon as Prishe finds out his full name, she refuses to call him by anything but; she also refuses to do it in any way but this strange singsong tone she seems to have perfected just to wind him up.
Vaan- Age
“I did warn you,” Firion sighs as he hands the would-be pirate a potion for his black eye, “that most ladies would find that question insulting.”
Lightning- Pastry
“You’re not going to tell anyone,” she hisses, and he nods in reply, all too aware of the gunblade at his throat- there’s no way mentioning Lightning’s secret addiction to pastries to anyone else is worth his life.
Cosmos- Harmony
He wonders if she heard his promise of a place for her in his dream for the future; he wonders it all the more after she’s gone, and feels more guilt than ever before in his life.
Bartz- Team Cosmos
Warrior of Light- Strength
He wonders if their leader ever thinks about drawing strength from comrades around him, rather than just a distant, unreachable light.
Firion- Dream
There are some things even Bartz can’t mimic; one example would be that dreamy, faraway expression that softens Firion’s face whenever he talks about his hopes for the future, which is a shame because Bartz thinks it’s the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen.
Onion Knight- Intelligence
The younger boy might well talk down to him now and then as though he’s stupid, but Bartz soon gets him back by doing impressions of him whilst crouched on his knees to bring them to the same height.
Cecil- Moon
Bartz picks up Cecil’s battle techniques pretty quickly; the epic poses against the night sky take a bit longer to master.
Kain- Voice
It’s not only the female party members who are affected by Kain’s voice; it takes Zidane at least thirty seconds to get any kind of response from Bartz after the dragoon’s latest speech, and even then it’s just a shellshocked “guh”.
Terra- Certainty
The hardest thing to mimic about the half-Esper is her insecurity, that way she seems to draw in on herself away from the world; Bartz wonders briefly how to duplicate it before deciding that the better option by far would be to coax her out of her shell and help her be a little more like him.
Cloud- Mosey
When it was pointed out that Cloud’s walk was nowhere near as casual as Bartz’s impression suggested, he claimed artistic license and said he was being Cloud on an off day.
Tifa- Drink
When he wakes up the next morning with a splitting headache, he realises he might have a way to go before he can mirror the bartender’s alcohol tolerance.
Aerith- Smile
All of a sudden the mysterious girl in pink is gone, and all he can remember is her gentle smile.
Squall- Scar
Never the most tactful of people, especially whilst tipsy, Bartz leans over clumsily to press a finger against the scar between Squall’s eyes and mumbles “Tha’...where’d ya get it?”
Laguna- Cramp
Seeing Bartz mimic his leg cramps so accurately made Laguna flush and mutter something about a ‘manliness scale’.
Zidane- Tail
One time when they’re passing through The Rift, Zidane’s not paying attention and almost topples over the side of a disappearing structure; without thinking, Bartz grabs hold of his tail to haul him back to safety, and then spends the next hour or so wondering why the thief froze under his touch and now won’t meet his eye.
BONUS: Zidane- Flirt
They’d known each other about an hour by the time Zidane winks at him suggestively for the first time; never one to back down from a challenge, Bartz plays along, and soon there’s so much pretend flirting between them that the other party members aren’t sure they’re joking any more; neither of them are sure either.
Tidus- Energy
If anyone can match Tidus’s energy, it’s Bartz, which is probably just as well when he starts trying to master the blitzer’s moves.
Yuna- Dance
Seeing Yuna dance makes him miss his old red shirt, and he wonders if he can talk Cosmos into getting him another.
Shantotto-Laugh
“Mimic that laugh one more time,” Zidane warns, “And I will stab you!”
Prishe- Hunger
Prishe’s appetite is the easiest thing to mimic about her- he doesn’t even have to try.
Vaan- Pirate
“You just can’t be a pirate if you don’t drink rum,” Bartz says, sounding knowledgeable enough about it to make Faris proud, “That’s something even...I dunno, even Exdeath would know!”
Lightning- Ride
Just typical- he offers to take her chocobo riding and she raises him Sleipnir!
Cosmos- Crystal
“And so these crystals- do they, uh, maybe give us any...special...powers?”; “Bartz, if this is about the dancer outfit again...”
Jecht (Team Chaos)
Garland- Axe
He might’ve tried it, if it wasn’t for that incredibly dangerous-looking axe-sword-hybrid-thingy the other man kept swinging about- he might’ve been daring, but he wasn’t stupid.
The Emperor- UBOAR!
The prospect of potentially hearing that called out at the crucial moment is all it takes for Jecht to dismiss the thought as soon as it occurs to him.
Cloud of Darkness- Apathy
“Do not even consider it,” she (or is that they?) says, voice never once edging out of that almost bored drawl.
Golbez- Shadows
Blah, blah, angst, blah, blah, inner darkness- the guy’s way too wrapped up in his own problems to take a hint, so Jecht gives up.
Exdeath-Tree
Even the vast amount of crude jokes he could make on the word “wood” isn’t enough to convince Jecht that it might be a good idea.
Gilgamesh- Weapons
He throws out a few hints about “comparing weapons” to test the waters, but Gilgamesh is so obsessed with those swords of his that he takes him literally, pulling out Excalibur and launching into a whole big speech about it.
Kefka- Makeup
If Zanarkand had taught him one thing, it was that that much makeup usually meant its wearer was hiding something that’d give him a nasty shock come the morning after.
Sephiroth- Sword
One glance at the Masamune brought a thousand and more jokes about “compensating” to mind; not wanting to end up as a kebab, he’d turned away to check out different options.
Ultimecia- Time
He had this whole sneaking suspicion she might hide a stopwatch away somewhere to log the whole thing, which isn’t exactly an appealing thought.
Kuja- Drama
Kuja’s certainly beautiful, but it’s clear that any arrangement Jecht might have with him is likely to produce more drama than the average high school relationship.
Gabranth- Beard
“It’s the beard or me,” Gabranth tells him firmly, pushing him away almost as soon as he leans in; it’s a no brainer, really, because The Great Jecht isn’t going to sacrifice any proof of his manliness for something so minor as stubble rash.
Chaos- Leader
Their leader was just out of the question- quite apart from the whole Hell God Of All That Is Dark thing he had going on, the guy had faces growing from his kneecaps, which he found more than a little off putting.
BONUS ROUND: Jecht- Shoopuf
When he realised that he’d probably be better off trying to bed a shoopuf than any of his fellow minions, Jecht decided it was time to see what Team Cosmos had to offer.