original fic: the thing about running in circles (v. 3)

[synecdoche]

Title: the thing about running in circles (v.3)
Author: synecdoche
Ratings/Warnings: R. Teacher/student.
Word Count: 2841
Summary: "The thing I wonder, Mr. Fritz, is where Anna's running to. And I think, is she going to like it when she gets there?"
Author’s Notes: This seems to be the story I can't stop working on; I've completely re-written it and I think

Comments

[synecdoche]

Thanks! My earlier drafts were from Anna's voice; I was worried I couldn't get Jon's, and I'm so glad to hear that it worked and wasn't melodramatic. Thanks so much for reading! ♥

[cherise]

The best part is (and probably will always be) Jon's tone throughout. There is no poetry or destiny or anything - to him, it just happened, with this "came and went" feeling. I also love how you build her as capable and that she is making her own decisions, but one of the best metaphors you have is the drinking one, if she were a year younger or older; if she was any less or more mature, she wouldn't be in this relationship. The metaphor of running is completely fabulous, as well. Kudos on coming back to that every so often.

I'm confused, though, by this sentence: He thinks, if by some accident Anna were to get pregnant, he’d swear it was immaculate conception. At first I thought you meant they weren't having sex yet, which doesn't quite make sense, and then I thought you might have been saying that he would deny the relationship, which of course he would.

The ending is perfect. It's a little twisted and sad, but it should be.

Oh yeah, did I mention that I like it? :D

[tocz]

what i got from the immaculate conception line was that he viewed her as so pure and innocent that he could not believe she wasn't a virgin (even though they were having sex already).

this is a great story. i love it every time you repost it lol. excellent job.

[synecdoche]

Thanks, Liz. ♥

We haven't talked in a while -- how are you doing?

[tocz]

good, good! just plugging through it all hahaha... how about you?

[anti_social_ite]

This is a quick comment, because hello busyness! but I love this, because it's the flip side to what I've been used to reading of this story. It's gorgeous - you know I love your writing style - and the tone really fits what I've always heard for Jon. And I really like that last segment - it's a really fantastic conclusion to the story.

And hello you! Haven't seen you around in ages. :)

[synecdoche]

Oh man, I am so excited to hear from you!!
Thanks so much for the sweet comment! I'm so glad you enjoyed. ♥ I'm so happy the tone worked, and the last section -- I had no idea how to end it and I kept moving things around.

Hopefully we will run into each other on here a little more often, yes? :)

[jeonggam]

I love your fic. I always, always love it. You have this way with words that makes me marvel, this turn of phrase that is just wonderful. Not only that, but you take risks with style and things (writing from a man's POV, for example, which many women never ever try) that just work.

This is wonderful. The feeling you evoke, and the story, and... GUH. You're amazing. ♥

[kateinslacks]

This reminded me of a sonata in words. Absolutely gorgeous, but doomed from the very beginning - But Anna breathes in shades of gray - and Jon's voice is quietly heartbreaking because he knows this, throughout. I especially loved the description of "when it all comes crashing down" - that was so true and pitch-perfect and broke my heart for Jon, even though he and I both know he was "wrong." Gah. This whole piece just slayed me. I can't even name all the ways just yet. Thank you, once again, for sharing.