Requiem Part Four
Part Four
Jensen
This is wrong, Jensen thinks the minute he wakes up. He refuses to look at Jared; knows Jared is staring at him, knows Jared watches him while he sleeps. This is so wrong. So wrong. He keeps his eyes closed and squeezes his eyelids, keeping them scrunched until a slight throbbing starts in his temples. I’m sleeping with a male demon. Nausea starts to roll in his stomach, not for the first time, when it really hits him that he’s fucking a male demon. He doesn’t know what he feels guiltier about: the actual act or the fact that he doesn’t really want to stop.
He knows that, according to Misha, he’s not going to Hell, but he can’t help but feel that he’s doing something heinously wrong.
He takes a deep breath, thankful that this time he doesn’t have to deal with an aching throb in his ass. He slowly opens his eyes, still not looking in Jared’s direction, opting to busy himself with examining the ceiling of the hotel Jared had taken them to last night, after their fancy dinner. He doesn’t remember actually booking the room; he was too intoxicated by Jared: his presence, his touch, his fucking smell, to notice anything but Jared. This is wrong, he thinks again. But even while he’s thinking it, he’s turning to Jared, not sure whether he’ll meet hazel irises or black eyes.
He lets out a sigh of relief when Jared’s multi-hued gaze twinkles slightly azure at him all the while glazed amber. “Mornin’ sunshine,” Jared greets with that infuriatingly endearing smirk. “Thought you were gonna sleep all day.” Jensen can feel Jared leaning in for a kiss before he sees it actually happening. Time seems to slow down and in some distant part of his brain he’s fascinated because he thought that only happened in movies.
Even as his eyes close, and Jared’s lips near his and their breath mingles sweetly, his mind yells at him to just spit out the memorized Latin words and send Jared back down to Hell. It’s not too late to repent and be forgiven, it’s not too late to right this heinous wrong, it’s not too - Jared’s hand cups the back of Jensen’s neck and pulls him into the kiss and Jensen’s brain gives way to his heart because this is Tristan. A demon-possessed Tristan, but for some sick reason this Tristan is even hotter than the lanky, weedy thirteen year old he’d fooled around with when he was in high school.
“Quit thinkin’ so hard, Father Ackles,” Jared mumbles hotly against his lips and something snaps inside him and he’s pulling Jared impossibly close and kissing him desperately: teeth nipping at swollen lips, tongues licking hungrily. A rumbling growl escapes Jensen’s throat as he shoves Jared down into the mattress, capturing his hands. He knows Jared could fling him off with a flick of his wrist; the fact that he’s letting Jensen control him turns Jensen on more than it probably should.
Jensen moans roughly, grinding the morning wood he hadn’t realized he had into Jared’s rapidly hardening cock. Jared’s eyes flutter closed and he huffs out this breathy little moan that makes Jensen’s dick twitch in anticipation. I could get used to this, he thinks as he presses a surprisingly gentle kiss to each of Jared’s eyelids. Jensen rolls his hips down, groaning softly. It still feels so good, so fucking good, having Jared’s body like this, especially now that’s he’s all man and rippling muscle. Jared blinks his eyes open to lock that yellow-glazed hazel gaze on him and it sends a thrill straight through his spine. The irony is not lost on Jensen that when that demonic yellow tint glosses over Jared’s eyes he gets that much harder.
He captures the sinful lips of the demon beneath him in a bruising kiss as he slips a hand down to Jared’s hole, relishing in the choked off whimper Jared makes directly into his mouth. Jensen smirks when he finds Jared still loose and wet from last night. “Wanna fuck you, Jay,” Jensen whispers against Jared’s lips, plunging three fingers deep into Jared and grinning at the loud cry he lets out. “Wanna fuck you so fucking bad.” He groans softly, leaning down to bit at Jared’s neck, marking him; pushes the tips of his fingers into that bundle of nerves that makes Jared buck up against him.
Jensen kisses up from Jared’s neck, along that strong jaw and up to his lips; licks across the seam before sucking his lower lip into his mouth eagerly. Jared whines into his mouth, hips making little seeking thrusts underneath Jensen, silently begging and Jensen’ll be damned if he doesn’t give Jared exactly what he wants.
Jensen pulls his hips back; doesn’t need to look to see what he’s doing. He keeps his eyes trained on Jared’s as he bottoms out in one smooth thrust. Jared’s back arches as he lets out a keening cry of Jensen’s name just as Jensen throws his head back and lets out a low, drawn out moan. He’ll never get tired of this; of Jared’s body opening up for him, sucking him into that tight, wet heat. Jensen grips Jared’s hips with bruising force as he pulls back and thrusts back in with learned accuracy. He finds Jared’s prostate almost instantly, causing the man beneath him to moan and arch his back, pressing his chest to Jensen’s.
Why isn’t Jensen feeling guilty about actually fucking Jared? He can’t find it in him to feel any sort of remorse when Jared’s body sucks him in, clenching around him and wrenching all sanity out straight through his dick. He leans forward, sucking Jared’s tongue into his mouth, swallowing Jared’s cry of pleasure.
“Fuck, Jared,” Jensen moans into the sloppy kiss. “Shit, feel so good around my cock, baby.” He lifts Jared’s hips slightly, changing the angle and grinning when he hears Jared’s choked moan. “Missed you so much,” Jensen admits, slowing his thrusts down to a rough grind, massaging Jared’s prostate with the head of his cock, which reduces Jared to a whimpering wreck. “Last coupl’a weeks before last night were torture..”
“Missed you,” Jared replies in a rough voice. “Fuck, Jen.” He rocks his hips up as best he can, making Jensen fuck into him deeper, impossibly deep and Jared lets out a gasped whimper of overwhelming pleasure.
Jensen groans, heart clenching with no, this can’t be love, no, and pulls Jared up into his lap, fucking up into him brutally with the change of position, hips slamming into Jared’s roughly. Jared throws his head back, a long moan of Jensen’s name slipping from his lips and Jensen can’t remember a more beautiful sight. Not even Danneel could compare to the feeling of this gorgeous man clenching hot and wet around his cock, messy hair tossed back and forehead furrowing as pleasure shoots through him.
“I know, Jay,” Jensen says in a wrecked voice, gripping Jared’s hips even harder as he speeds up his thrusts. The ecstasy is almost too much, too overwhelming and he’s close. He should probably be embarrassed that sex with Jared never lasts as long as sex with anyone else, but that ass feels so fucking good that he can’t hold it back much longer. “I know,” he says again. He removes one hand from Jared’s hips to tangle in his hair, pulling him down for a rough kiss. He bites at Jared’s lower lip, tugs it, relishes in the whispered moan that Jared makes.
“Close,” Jared whimpers, ass tightening around Jensen’s cock like a vice. “Fuck, Jen, so close… C’mon Jenny,” he groans, circling his hips to meet Jensen’s thrusts and fuck he shouldn’t be able to do that. “Make me come,” he begs into Jensen’s mouth, his voice wrecked to hell and full of need. “I need you… C’mon, Jen, fuck, baby, c’mon.”
“I got you,” Jensen grunts. He pulls his hand back down to grip Jared’s hips, thrusting into him harder, faster. “I got you, Jay, feel so good, feel so fuckin’ good.” He kisses Jared brutally once more, slamming straight into his spot and that’s it. Jared breaks the kiss to let out a stream of curses mingled with Jensen’s name as he comes.
The warmth of Jared’s come shooting onto his belly and the way his ass tightens and the muscles flutter and ripple so scorching hot around him, drags his orgasm right out of him and Jensen’s coming with a rough shout, shooting deep, so deep, inside Jared’s body. He rides out his orgasm with slow rolls of his hips as Jared’s body clenches even tighter around him, milking Jensen’s cock dry.
Jared rests his forehead on Jensen’s shoulder, whimpering a little when Jensen shifts his hips and his softening cock slips right out of him. “Fuck,” he moans. And Jensen has to agree. He has this overwhelming urge to see what Jared’s hole looks like right now. He’s never gotten to before and he feels like he needs to or his life would have been worth nothing. A bit of an exaggeration, Jensen knows. Bottom line is: he needs to see.
He gently shifts again, laying Jared down onto the bed. Jared’s eyes are almost glowing but they’re not yellow; they’re on the greener side of hazel right now and he just looks gorgeous. All blissful euphoria, fucked out, sated and it’s because of Jensen. He kisses Jared’s lips, knowing that they’re overly sensitive right now and he smiles at Jared’s little breathy moan. He’s so cute right now, even after mind-blowing sex.
No words are said as Jensen starts kissing down Jared’s body, mouthing at hotspots he’s remembers from when he was seventeen. Jared doesn’t disappoint: he writhes and squirms beneath Jensen, dick giving a feeble twitch of interest. He kisses and sucks a mark into Jared’s side, right below his ribcage, just because he knows it drives him crazy. “So fucking gorgeous,” he murmurs, licking over the hard ridge of skin over bone. “Became such a gorgeous man.” He kisses the crease where Jared’s thigh meets his pelvis and slowly parts his thighs, heart pounding in anticipation of the sight.
When Jared’s hole is totally exposed Jensen lets out a stuttered moan. The demon’s body is loose, fucked open, red and slightly swollen. Jared’s asshole quivers with aftershocks of his orgasm, muscle fluttering so beautifully and Jensen presses a kiss to Jared’s inner thigh. It’s filthy with the mix of come, saliva and lube and Jensen can’t resist the voice in his head that encourages him to take a taste. So he does it.
He licks along Jared’s thigh before kissing up to his asshole, sucking at the red rim. Above him, Jared yelps, hips jerking as he tries to get away from the overstimulation. Jensen grabs his hips, fingers slotting into the previous bruises as he covers Jared’s hole with his mouth, sucking hard, hollowing his cheeks. His eyes close, smiling slightly at the sounds Jared’s making: whimpers, needy breathy moans that would make Jensen hard again if he could get it up again.
He stiffens his tongue, thrusting it into Jared and licking around the rim slowly. “Love how you taste,” Jensen moaned. “All messy, leakin’ my come… fuck Jared…” Jensen nuzzles Jared’s balls with his nose before kissing back down and swirling his tongue in the mess inside Jared. He hums as he licks around the rim of Jared’s asshole, sucking at the swollen skin, sucking the odd but not unpleasant tasting mixture of himself, lube and Jared’s taste into his mouth and swallowing it down.
Jared’s still making these needy little moans and suddenly his hole is quivering and clenching around Jensen’s tongue and Jared’s body tenses up and Jensen has the dirtiest smirk on his face when he realizes that, “Dude, I just totally made you come again.”
Jared’s body is shaking with aftershocks and overstimulation but he manages a little laugh. He didn’t shoot, his cock too spent for that, but he did experience another orgasm and for some twisted reason Jensen loves him all the more for it. Not that he’d ever admit it. Jensen kisses back up Jared’s body and kisses his mouth deeply, tongue licking in hungrily and Jared laughs a bit harder citing that “Christ, Jen, you taste like ass.” But Jensen notes that Jared doesn’t push him away. He just pulls him a little closer, kisses him a little harder and Jensen falls a little faster.
Not that he’d ever admit it.
::
They stroll down to the lobby, hand in hand, for the continental breakfast.
“Oh god,” Jensen moans quietly. “Bacon.” He lets Jared’s hand go in favour of heading over to the metal contraption, he’s never known what to call them, that holds his beloved bacon. He sniffs the air around it appreciatively before grabbing a plate. He piles it high with fluffy yellow eggs, pancakes, bacon and a couple biscuits. Just when he thinks he probably grabbed too much food, he looks over at Jared and sees him struggling with his second plate.
He grins to himself, thinking that the humanity Jared’s gained makes him more attractive than he was when they first met in the club.
They find a table and take their seats. “This was a good idea, Jared,” Jensen says, taking a bite of his bacon. “And the continental breakfast is amazing, but did you really have to fill two plates of food?”
“Hey,” Jared says, looking slightly offended and it makes Jensen chuckle just a little bit. “I’m a growing boy, Jensen.”
“Yeah, sure you are,” Jensen replies with a leer and Jared snorts, nearly choking on a bite of pancake.
“Oh jeez,” Jensen exclaims, going over to thump him on the back.
That does the trick but it also pisses Jared off. “Ow!” he yells, flicking Jensen on the forehead when he takes his seat again. “You asshole!”
“Pardon me for saving you from choking, you idiot!”
::
When they leave, the young girl at the counter gives them a knowing smirk and he sees Jared look back at her and wink, placing a finger to his lips in the universal ‘shh’ sign.
“What happened back there?” Jensen asks as they near his car.
“Oh, she was just… really helpful last night,” Jared replies with a grin.
Jensen looks at Jared, raising a brow and the other man laughs, tossing his head back, hair flipping in the slight breeze. “Gettin’ jealous again?” Jared teases as Jensen unlocks the car and slides into the driver’s seat. “First Summer then some no name clerk? C’mon Jenny, you know you’re the only girl for me,” he continues as he slides into his own respective seat.
Jensen freezes. He’d said those same words to Tristan a week before he left. His heart starts racing and his hands begin to shake and he’s confronted with the same guilt he’s been living with for years. “Trish, I’m so sorry…” he mutters as he tightens his hands around the steering wheel.
“Hey,” Jared says softly, laying a hand over Jensen’s and his heart begins to slow down from its rapid beating and he feels calmness wash over him. “Hey, I know you are. He knows you are. He’s forgiven you, Jen. I’ve forgiven you too.”
Jensen takes a deep breath and looks over to Jared with a small smile. “I… thanks, Jay.”
He smiles back, rubbing his thumb over the skin between Jensen’s thumb and index finger. “Anytime, Jen.”
As Jensen drives out of the parking lot, he’s left feeling like he and Jared shared something special and maybe just a little bit sacred last night. He looks over and sees Jared, head tossed back and singing loudly and off key to some obscure pop song, and he realizes that he’s happy.
For the first time since Danneel’s death, he’s happy.
Jared
They share a sweet kiss inside Jensen’s car when Jensen drops him off at his home.
“I really enjoyed last night,” Jared says softly as he pulls away from the kiss, hating himself for blushing bright red.
“So did I,” Jensen replies, grinning brightly. He reaches to stroke his index finger over the red dusted apples of Jared’s cheeks. He slips his hand down, holding Jared’s chin in his index and thumb. Jensen leans forward and Jared responds in kind, their lips meeting in a soft, almost delicate kiss.
When they pull away, Jared gives Jensen a soft private smile. “I’ll see you later?”
Jensen nods and grins, letting Jared’s chin go and poking his dimple lightly. “Yeah, of course.”
Jared stumbles out of the car, feeling giddily happy and exuberant beyond measure. It takes all the self control he possesses, admittedly it’s not very much, to refrain from skipping up to his front door. When he gets there, he unlocks it and pulls it open. He looks back, smiling and waving at Jensen as the other man does a sharp little salute and winks at him and Jared’s not going to admit that his heartbeat sped up just a little bit.
His heart calms, just marginally, when Jensen finally drives away.
“Jesus, Tristan,” he mutters to himself, still feeling that pleasant ache from Jensen being inside him. “What the fuck have you gotten me into?”
His phone rings almost instantly when he steps into the threshold of his house. “Go for Jared,” he says once he’s answered, closing the door behind him.
“Jared!” he hears Chad say frantically on the other line. “We got found out, man. I just barely sidestepped a devil’s trap painted in my living room, and killed like three hunters. I heard them mention you!”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Jared mutters. He rubs the bridge of his nose and stands still, not wanting to make a misstep. “How the fuck could we have gotten found out? Who found us? Who found our homes?”
“Maybe your priest boyfriend told ‘em,” Chad spits, sounding out of breath. He hears the snap of fingers and knows that another hunter has lost his life. However, all that really registers in his brain is that Chad is assuming that Jensen has something to do with this.
“You’re wrong,” Jared says in a soft voice. “He was with me all last night, he slept through the night too. He wouldn’t have orchestrated it.” He shakes his head; Jensen couldn’t be behind this, not after all they’ve shared.
“Well, apparently those hunters are good friends with Father Ackles,” Chad sneers into the phone. “And they’re comin’ for you, Jay! You’re next so get the fuck off the phone with me and protect yourself.”
“Jensen didn’t do this…” Jared murmurs, not paying attention to Chad anymore.
“Jared!” his friend yells at him. “Stop fucking thinking about Jensen and save your own fucking life! He’s wanted to send you back to Hell from day one anyway! The only thing keeping you around is the fact that you’re in Tristan’s meat suit. You think he’d let you stay if you were possessin’ anyone else? Fuck. He sent the demon possessing his wife back to Hell. You think you’re special, Jared? You’re not fucking special! You just happened to inhabit the guy he loves most. Get that into your thick fucking skull. He doesn’t love you, he’ll never love you. He’s probably just using this as a way to send you back to Hell. Wasn’t that how it started? Him trying to seduce you to get you to go to that old house where he normally exorcises things like us? Get your head outta your ass Jay!”
“Jensen didn’t do this!” Jared shouts, starting to pace in his anger. “He wouldn’t do this! We have something special, you dick. I’m finally fucking happy and I’m happy with Jensen. Why can’t you just be glad for me, Chad? We’re supposed to be best friends!”
“Stop it!” Chad yells. “Get the fuck off the phone with me! Don’t you fucking argue with me you asshole, I’m trying to protect you!”
“I don’t fucking need protecting! I need -” Jared freezes, tries to move and realizes his mistake. “Oh fuck,” he mutters into the phone.
“What? Jared? Don’t you fucking tell me you stepped into it. Jesus Christ, I fucking warned you Jared! You stupid lovesick fool! I can’t believe -”
Searing pain, that’s the next thing Jared feels. Waves of acid burn into his skin, eating away at his flesh. He cries out in agony, the pain cutting him to his knees. Chad’s tirade is cut short by a blinding flash and sharp throb and his world goes black.
::
When he comes to, he’s in the basement of a house. It’s not the house that he found himself in when he met Jensen at the club. The basement is well furbished, a proper panic room. He’s seen a lot of panic rooms in his time and this was a great one. The walls are decorated with angel and demon proofing symbols. He looks up and, sure enough, there’s a devil’s trap to keep him from getting out.
In front of him, there’s a metal table laden with torture tools.
“Well,” a gruff voice says, and he looks up. Coming down the stairs is a man with long brown hair pulled into a pony tail and sharp blue eyes. “You’re up.”
Jared pulls at the restraint on his hands and snarls at the other man. Then he realizes that he’s not like that anymore, he’s not interested in the ways of a demon. Maybe he can get out of this without harming himself or Tristan.
“Look,” he says, breathless, trying to placate the man. “It’s not what it looks like. I know what I am, but I’m not like that anymore.”
The man has reached him and is standing right in front of him now. “Bullshit,” he growls, backhanding Jared so hard his other cheek slaps his shoulder.
Jared grunts as sharp pain blooms across the flesh of his left cheek.
“You expect me to believe anything a filthy thing like you tells me?” the man says, softer this time, deceptively sweet. “You’re nothin’ but scum. And I’m sendin’ you back where you belong. But I think I’m gonna have some fun with you first.”
He walks back to the metal table. “What’s your name?” Jared gasps out.
“Christian. Father Kane,” the man replies.
Christian. Christian! He knows Jensen! “Do you know Father Ackles?” Jared blurts out desperately. There’s hope, he can get out of this. He doesn’t have to go back to Hell.
“Yeah,” the man says, running his hands along his tools before selecting a knife. It glints in the bright light of the basement and Jared can see some inscribing on it and his heart freezes with fear. “What’s a demon like you doin’ knowin’ my friend?”
Jared’s torn. He could tell this man everything that’s happened with him and Jensen or he could take it on himself. But he’s certain Jensen won’t deny him, not in the face of this danger. “We… I’m inhabiting an old friend of his,” Jared says finally, not really telling the truth, not really telling a lie; a demon’s specialty. “Please call him, he’ll explain everything.”
“I’m pretty sure he can do without you, couldn’t have been that important if I’ve never heard of your meat suit before.”
“Of course he wouldn’t tell you!” Jared snaps, forgetting his resolve and letting it all spill. “You’re a homophobic asshole, why would he tell you he had a fling with a guy when he was seventeen? That guy is me, well, Tristan. But now he’s me.”
That earns him another backhanded slap and a grabbing of his collar. “You listen to me,” Christian growls right into his face. “Don’t you dare make up such heinous lies about my best friend. He’d never have anything to do with something like you, nor would he ever make such an abomination of a mistake.”
“Call him,” Jared sneers right into his face. “Call him and he’ll tell you. We kissed, we had sex. We made love. I blew him in the goddamn confessional. We have something special, he’ll tell you.”
“Shut up!” Christian bellows. He grabs his knife and stabs it into the meat of Jared’s thigh.
Excruciating pain shoots up every nerve of his body, making him cry out roughly, head tossing back. He clenches his fists, itching to give Christian what he deserves, but he’s going to wait. He’s going to let Jensen tell this oaf the truth and then let Christian wallow in his own stupidity.
Christian fishes into his pocket and pulls out his phone. He keeps a glare fixed on Jared the whole time as he punches in Jensen’s number. Jared heaves in shaky breaths, watching him warily.
Jensen
“Checkmate,” Misha says triumphantly, thrusting his fist into the air. While Jensen is annoyed at losing for the fourth time in a row, he can’t help but smile as his angel does a little victory dance around the table. He’s wearing a shirt that reads ‘GOD HATES FAGS except for Jensen, He fucking loves that guy!’ and Jensen can’t help feeling that maybe an angel shouldn’t be wearing that shirt, but he can’t bring himself to care as he feels it just may be true.
However, he drew the line when Misha showed up with a t-shirt that said ‘I’M NOT GAY. But my asshole is’ for him. It took him at least an hour to dissuade him from making Jensen actually wear the stupid thing.
“Wish I could say I’m sorry for completely and utterly whoopin’ your ass, Jen,” Misha says in a fake condescending voice as he huffs a breath onto his nails and buffs them on the stupid shirt. “But I’m not!” He dances around the table again, this time grabbing Jensen’s hands and dragging him out of his chair.
“Misha!” Jensen says, but he’s laughing breathlessly, shaking his hips to the off-beat beat Misha’s singing along to.
“You gonna tell me about your date?” Misha asks. Jensen had refused to tell Misha about his date with Jared the night before. The game of chess was supposed to distract the angel enough so Jensen could be sure he’d forget about asking. He was wrong.
“Fine! Fine, just let me stop dancing!”
Misha grins and stops, just as Jensen asks. “Now,” Misha begins, voice gone to an annoying falsetto and breaking his wrists as he flails his hands. “Gimme all the deets!”
“Deets?”
“Details!”
Jensen gives an almighty put-upon sigh but he’s grinning like a loon as he sits with Misha on the couch.
“Well,” he begins. “We went to this really fancy restaurant.” He refrains from giggling, just barely, as he remembers it. “First we kissed, and oh man. It was the greatest kiss I’ve ever had, Mish.” The angel looks truly interested, leaning in towards Jensen and resting his chin on his fists. “So, we go to the restaurant, and our waitress is this really cute girl. Fuckin’ adorable, like the daughter I’ve always wanted, only well, she was older, about twenty, but you get my drift. So dinner was amazing, dessert was amazing. Then Jared decides that he wants to go to a hotel, he’s not ready to go home yet. So we do that, and it was a great night.” He blushes a little, remembering the feeling of Jared beneath him, wanting him, writhing for him. “Then we had an amazing morning, the hotel had a great continental breakfast.”
“Sounds like fun,” Misha says with a dreamy sigh. Then he suddenly turns serious. He rests a palm on Jensen’s knee. “I’m glad you’ve finally come to terms with it,” he states softly.
Jensen bites his lip and nods slowly. He’s glad he’s come to terms with it too. He’s on the way to letting himself fully believe that he’s safe. He loves his Lord, but he loves Jared too. And he’s also finally letting himself admit it. He smiles at Misha timidly and shrugs, rubbing the back his neck nervously. “So’m I,” he mutters, playfully punching his fist to Misha’s jaw, just enough to make him move backwards slightly.
“So,” Misha says, suddenly back to his original cheery disposition. “Is he as good a lay as he looks?”
“Misha!” Jensen exclaims, hiding his face in his hands. “Okay, I really need to teach you about what is and isn’t appropriate to say about a person’s boyfriend.”
Misha gasps, pressing his hands to his heart in an exaggerated show of joy. “Boyfriend?!” he squeals, literally squeals; claps his hands together; reaches out to ruffle Jensen’s hair. “I’m so proud of you!”
Jensen blushes and ducks his head to hide his grin. “I am too, man.”
Just then, his phone rings. “I gotta take this,” he says. He feels the slightest pang of guilt when he realizes he hasn’t been defrocked yet: it could be a member of his flock calling for some Bible study. He blanches a little as he moves to the phone. He looks at Misha, the bastard grins brightly and gives him a thumbs up, before taking a deep breath and answering.
“Hello?” he says, in his gruff yet kind ‘priest’ voice. “Father Ackles, speaking.”
“Jensen.” He hears an answering gruff voice say. Christian.
“H-hey, buddy,” Jensen stammers out.
"I've got a demon here," Chris says, cutting to the chase. "Claims he knows you." Jensen can hear the sneer in Chris's voice. "Claims you're in love." Jensen can also hear the disgust and his heart constricts painfully.
"That's insane," Jensen chokes out, ignoring Misha's concerned looks. "You know demons lie."
"That's what I'm saying! I think you need to get down here, Jen. I think you need to do the honors of sending this scum back where he belongs. I almost want to kill him after what he's said about you, I know I won't be forgiving or merciful. But you're so kind. You'll send him back down. I don't really want to kill him, there's a chance that his vessel is still in there, fightin'."
No there isn't, Jensen thinks, and God, he's scared. He’s terrified. What the fuck is he going to do once he gets there? "I'm on my way," Jensen says in a small voice. He can hear Jared in the background, yelling, begging him to admit everything. He hangs up abruptly, chest heaving as fright curls its way around his heart. He doubles over, hands resting on his knees and gasping for air.
It feels almost like a panic attack and suddenly Misha's right there, helping him up. "Dude!" Misha exclaims, patting his back and rubbing it soothingly. "You okay? What happened?"
Jensen looks up at Misha, and then the angel knows.
"Someone caught Jared?"
"My best friend did," Jensen says and he can't really remember if what just happened is real or not. "I... I have to go down there. He wants me to exorcise him... I can't.... I can't do.... I can't...."
Misha pulls away and looks at Jensen seriously. "You need to go down there, you need to admit everything. You need to let your friend know that Jared is in your life now and that you won't regret it. You don't regret it. And kiss him, kiss him long and hard right in front of that priest and then untie him and leave and get out of town. Build a new life with Jared. That's what you need to do."
"If only it were that easy."
::
The drive to Christian's house feels longer than it actually is. He's scared, terrified, worried. The conflicting emotions make him nauseous and he pulls over to throw up the delicious continental breakfast he had earlier. His hands shake as he drives along the highway, not really paying attention, just letting his muscle memory take him down to Christian's house; he's been there enough times.
Jared's down in Christian's basement. Probably being tortured even while Jensen's driving there. Jensen doesn't think that Jared can actually be exorcised anymore. He thinks the strain of trying to force Jared out will kill Tristan for good. And he'd probably kill himself if that happened.
As he pulls into Christian's driveway, dread makes its way inside him and settles deep within his bones. He doesn't think he can face Jared right now. He doesn't really know what he'll say; do. He doesn't think he can bring himself to admit everything to Christian and he doesn't think he can just stand around while his friend tries to send Jared back to Hell. He contemplates reversing out and fleeing to another state, but if anything, he owes Jared this.
When he gets out of the car, his steps are slow and measured. It's as if he's making his way to the gallows or the guillotine; this is the day he dies.
There's a secret way to get to Christian's basement and Jensen takes that path automatically. His heart pounds erratically as he knocks on the door. The door is made in such a way that it makes slightly different tones depending on where you hit it. He taps it in a way that mirrors the way he crosses himself and Christian opens it mere seconds later.
The other priest pulls Jensen into a quick manly hug. "Good to see you, man," he says, thumping Jensen on the back before pulling away and heading back inside.
"You too," Jensen replies, voice small and feeble, not really meaning what he says. He closes his eyes and takes a few deep breaths before following his friend into the basement. It's fully lit and leaves nothing concealed; the minute he walks in, he sees him. Jared. Sitting tied up and bloody in a chair, but the hope in his eyes when he fixes his gaze on Jensen is almost enough to make him throw up again.
"Here he is," Christian says, disgust and loathing clearly evident in his tone. "This... this.... I don't even have the words for this hateful creature, he claims all these heinous things about you. That you had a relationship with him. That you're gay... I want to see the look on his face when you dispel those horrible rumors and put him in his place before you send him back to where he came from.”
Jensen looks at Jared, heart breaking at the look on his face. He opens his mouth to speak but Jared beats him to it.
"Tell him," he says softly, fixing that gaze on him. His eyes are hazel. How can Jensen send him to Hell when his eyes are hazel? "Tell him about everything. About Tristan. About me. About us."
Jensen closes his eyes. He wants to. He really wants to. But he's afraid, paranoid, can't own up to his sins. He opens his eyes, fixing a cold glare on Jared and then he sees it. He sees Jared's heart break before his eyes. "He's lying," he chokes out. The words wrap around his throat, cutting off his air supply but he forces his way through it. "No way I've ever be involved with a man, much less a demon. I hate even touching the filthy things."
Chris grins with grim triumph. "That's my boy! That's my Jenny!"
"No." Jared says softly, eyes boring into Jensen's. "You can't mean that."
"I do," Jensen says, teeth grinding on the hateful words. "I don't even know why you'd think that there could possibly be anything. Where the hell have you been getting these rumors? Why would I want to have anything with you? I know demons lie but... this? This is just pathetic."
Jared stares at him, hurt evident in his gaze. Then it changes to numbness and quickly it switches to anger. His eyes turn black in a fraction of a second and his mouth is twisted into a hateful sneer. Jensen wants to cry because that's directed at him.
"You... You liar!" Jared yells and Chris quickly reaches for a bucket of holy water and douses Jared with it. Smoke wisps around his head, and Jared tosses his head back in a howl of agony. Jensen feels like howling himself. The effect of the holy water subsides a little and Jared's shouting again. "I can't believe you, Jensen. You fucking sad excuse of a person!"
Jensen pins his best sneer on Jared, not easy as his heart is hurting. Every throb of blood through his veins is like a stab in the back. He can feel his vertebrae popping around the proverbial knife, can feel his spine snap. “At least I am a person,” Jensen snarls. “And not some disgusting bottom feeder like you. You raped innocent boys; you think I’d want anything to do with you? Anything I would have ever done would have only been a trap. You don’t belong here. You pollute the earth just by being here.”
“What the fuck, Jensen!” Jared shouts, eyes vacant yet full of rage. “You don’t mean that. Stop letting this religion control you! Follow your heart! You know we shared something special, Jen. Don’t deny it for this-” he jerks his chin in Chris’s direction, “- bigoted zealot.”
“My heart belongs to my Lord,” Jensen says, voice flat and as cold as he can make it. “To His Son, to the Holy Ghost and to Mother Mary. You’re not even worthy of God’s wrath. You’re scum. Just like your father. He was a beautiful angel and gave it all up. And you’re just like him. Spawn of Satan, himself. I want nothing to do with you.”
Another bucket of water is thrown on Jared, this time done by Jensen’s own hands. Even as he was picking it up while he spoke, his heart grew more and more heavy with despair. His soul feels like it’s being flayed alive, and there’s nothing he can do to stop it. He’s doing God’s work is he not?
Jared howls in agonized pain once more and Jensen can feel his heart shattering.
Jared takes these deep raspy breaths as he breathes through the pain. That’s when Chris closes his eyes and begins the exorcism rites. Jensen used to always admire Christian for having the full prayer memorized. Now, he’s feeling that this is not such a good thing anymore.
Jared’s head is turned, cheek resting against his shoulder as he continues to breathe heavily through the pain of the holy water’s burn. Jensen wants nothing more than to go over there; apologize until he’s blue in the face and hold Jared in his arms. He wants to kiss him, to feel those soft, dry lips under his. He knows he’s given all that up now.
He remembers what Jared told him in the church: that sending him back down could possibly send Tristan down as well. He feels nauseous again, but he doesn’t move to stop Chris. Only then does he realize that Christian’s words are having no effect on Jared. His heart stops. Maybe, now that Jared’s personality isn’t fully like a demon’s anymore, he can’t be exorcised. Maybe he’s so bonded with Tristan that he’s become human. The thought sends a thrill through Jensen and then it fills him with terror. If he can’t be sent back to Hell, then Christian will find a way to kill him. And if Tristan dies as well, Christian will just bury him and not give a damn.
He steps forward as if to stop his friend, but he hears a sound that stops him in his tracks. He looks over at Jared. The demon tosses his head back and laughs. A maniacal sort of laugh that chills Jensen's blood. Jared breathes heavily, a dark smile on his lips. He turns to where Chris is still reciting the rites. "Oops," he says in a sickly sweet voice. "Your words don’t seem to be working, asshole. It’s gonna take more than some sweet nothings to get a guy like me to put out.”
Jared flexes his fists, nose scrunching up and eyes closing in concentration and Jensen knows what's about to happen. The ceiling where the devil's trap is painted splits in two.
"What the hell?" Christian gasps, eyes flying open and taking a step back from Jared.
Jared breaks his restraints, breaking the chair as well in his efforts. He stands, eyes inky black and shimmering with rage. He turns to Christian, mouth twisted into a snarl. "Y'know," he begins, voice low and menacing. His head turns slightly to the side and Christian's whole body seems to follow the movement, crashing into a wall. "I'm a pretty damn special demon. And your little artwork isn't going to affect me one bit. And also?" He stalks to Christian, picking him up by his collar and punching him right in the face: once, twice. "That knife? Really fucking hurt." He stands then, snaps his fingers and Christian explodes in blood, bone shards and brain tissue.
The explosion is so strong and forceful that hot droplets of blood burn onto Jensen's face. He feels a sharp cut in his cheek from a piece of bone and he swears there are bits of Chris's brain in his hair. He's sick to his stomach, feels the nausea rolling again, knows he needs to run before he's Jared's next victim, but he can't find it in him to move.
Jared turns to him, eyes still black as tar but he can tell from his expression that he's beyond hurt. The next thing Jensen knows, he's being thrown into a wall himself. He crashes into it with teeth-shattering force, he bites his tongue from the impact, tastes the flood of blood in his mouth.
Jared stalks towards him, body language portraying how hurt and betrayed he feels. Bright white light explodes in his vision when Jared punches him. He hears a sickening crack, feels a gush of blood from his nose.
"You... sick... son of a bitch," Jared grits out, fist snapping forward to punch him once more. "I can't believe I trusted you!" Another punch, more pain stunning its way through his face. "I should have known that if you'd betray Tristan, you'd betray me. I can't fucking believe I let you in! I thought that maybe, at least, you wouldn’t hurt Tristan, not for a second time. I was obviously wrong." One more punch, right in the eye. “I hate you Jensen Ackles,” Jared growls, another punch, to his cheek this time. “I fucking abhor you.” And then it stops. Jared lets up, standing with his posture straight and head held high. His face turned away from Jensen as if he can’t stand to look at him.
Jensen understands. Jensen can’t stand to be himself right now.
"Go," Jared says, voice a deep snarling growl. "Before I kill you. Go." Jensen scrambles up, blind in one eye, feeling dizzy from the head trauma and loss of blood through his nose.
"For what it's worth," Jensen begins as he makes for the door. His chest hurts, feels tight and his heartbeat is scarily irregular. He wonders if he’ll die from a heart attack on the way home. "I'm sorry."
"Save it," Jared sneers.
Jensen runs out of Christian's basement, tears mixing with the sticky blood on his face. Even as he gets in the car, he thinks, maybe he won't be going to Hell for being gay. He pulls out of the driveway haphazardly, swinging onto the road without much care. Maybe he won't go to Hell for being gay at all. He looks back at the house, vision clear in one eye, clearer than he'd like it to be as he looks back on all that he's lost. Maybe, just, maybe, he won't go to Hell for being gay. But he knows he's going to Hell for this.
It feels like he’s breaking Tristan’s heart all over again. Only, this time, he doesn’t have the prospect of Heaven to look forward to.
Part Three | Part Five