Rating: PG-13
Pairings/Characters: Kurt/Blaine, Rachel/Finn
Spoilers: none
Warnings: non-graphic violence
Word Count: ~3000
Relationship Status: First Time
Genre: AU, angst, hurt/comfort, romance
Summary: While it was uncommon for people to be born with the Name of their soul mate on their hand - most developed it with age - it was almost unheard of for someone to die before meeting their other half. After all the Name only developed if you were destined to meet them.
Kurt was convinced fate was utterly cruel.
Author’s Note: Written for
this prompt at the
glee_angst_meme. Title from the song "Penguin" by Christina Perri.
ETA: This story is now also available
as a podfic thanks to
oohshinyfangirl :-)
Kurt always thought dying involved a lot of darkness and silence. He didn't believe in god or an afterlife and had secretly always hoped to go quick and without too much pain, but then again who didn't? A quick snap into nothingness would be only merciful.
People always wondered how he could be so cynic when fate was clearly written right on their skin for everyone to see. While it was uncommon for people to be born with the Name of their soul mate on their hand - most developed it with age - it was almost unheard of for someone to die before meeting their other half. After all the Name only developed if you were destined to meet them.
Kurt was convinced fate was utterly cruel. Fate dared to tell you whether you'd be alone for the rest of your life or not. Fate could rip away that special someone from you in a heartbeat. Fate could make you one of those rare tales people only tell in terrified whispers, leaving you to wait for someone that would never come.
Kurt had lived in fear of never having that someone until at the age of sixteen he'd woken up one morning to find the name Blaine Anderson written across his left palm. He had looked at it for a long time, caressing every line with his fingers, memorizing it. He'd placed a light kiss on the Name and held it to his heart, whispering it over and over until it was as familiar as his own. Life wasn't good back then but he finally had a reason to go on.
When his bullying escalated to death threats Kurt wished desperately that the Name really meant he would survive this hell. He couldn't let Blaine become one of those stories, waiting hopelessly for Kurt.
But Kurt rarely got what he wished for.
A truth he was rudely reminded of by the excruciating amount of pain he was currently in. His death was apparently going to involve a lot of pain. He was also wrong on the darkness, there was so much light and everything was so white and blurry he could barely stand it. He was right about one thing though, fate was cruel.
~o~
Rachel was one of those lucky few who were born with the Name already on their palm. She always said it was because fate knew exactly what it had in store for her, she was to become a Broadway star and live happily ever after with Finn. Ever since she'd met him she had pursued him like she did everything, relentlessly. Finn had refused to believe her until her name had showed up on his hand during their sophomore year of high school. To this day he still fondly joked that it only showed because she willed it to with her insistence. Kurt had never heard of a case like theirs before but he considered it only further proof of how fate could be tricky and unreliable.
Finn and Kurt had become stepbrothers in the beginning of their junior year, after a chance meeting between their parents who had both lost their soul mates. Kurt had introduced them thinking a friendship with someone who could understand his sorrow would be beneficial to his father but he hadn't expected the two to actually start dating and fall in love. To Kurt it was a comfort to see there still could be love and life after such a tragic loss.
When his senior year started Kurt wished with all his might for Blaine to finally show up in his life, because that would make it as close to perfect as Kurt could imagine. So far he hadn't had any luck in that department but other things were going better, the bullying had lessened considerably and their glee club had won both Sectionals and Regionals. Which is why Kurt, Finn and Rachel were in a supermarket shopping for a party to be held at the Hudmels to celebrate their victory and pump everyone up for Nationals.
Kurt and Rachel had already made it to the checkout counter with a full cart while Finn was lost somewhere in the frozen foods section trying to discern the perfect balance of ice cream flavors.
"Remind me again why we left him in charge of the ice cream?" Kurt asked when only one more customer was left in front of them. If Finn didn't hurry up they'd have to let someone go ahead. It wasn't a busy hour and there weren't that many customers in line but still, Kurt couldn't wait to get out of there to go decorate the house. He had lots of ideas and was going to need Finn for some heavy furniture lifting.
"Because it makes him feel like he's actively contributing to the menu and you know he's going to eat most of it anyway." Rachel dutifully replied.
Kurt nodded, rolling his eyes. He was about to say something else when they heard a shriek coming from a couple checkouts over, near the entrance of the supermarket. They both turned to see two men wearing ski masks and pointing guns at the customers and cashiers present. One of them yelled at everybody to sit on the floor with their hands behind their heads.
"On the floor!" The robber repeated as his accomplice grabbed one of the cashiers by her arm and ordered her to empty every register and put the money in a bag.
Kurt was kneeling on the floor - the man was right in front of them now - when he realized that Rachel had frozen up in fear. She was standing alone a few steps away from their cart as if she had backed away automatically, a clear target when everybody else was already on the floor.
"Are you deaf?" The man shouted directly at Rachel, "I said on the floor!"
Kurt saw the gun moving, its trajectory landing on Rachel, and instinctively leaped to his feet. He pushed her out of the way and she fell on the floor, hitting it hard. Kurt fell too, a blinding pain spreading like fire in his lower abdomen as a shot resonated in the air around them.
Screams erupted again and the robber who had shot Kurt threatened to shoot whoever dared move next. Rachel had crawled next to Kurt who was lying on his side, his arms around himself and breathing heavily. She gently rolled him so he was lying on his back and he hissed in pain. Rachel shushed him and placed Kurt's head on her knees. He was pressing his hands on the wound but she could clearly see the blood on the floor and seeping through his clothes.
"It's okay, Kurt, everything's going to be fine." She whispered, her voice shaky. "You haven't met him yet so you're not going anywhere, you know?" She gave him a watery smile. "I'm so sorry, Kurt. You saved my life. Thank you. I really don't know what to say."
"That's a first." He managed to say, his face contorting with pain.
"I will be your slave while you recover from this. Anything you want, you just ask me, okay?"
"You need to put pressure on the wound." A guy sitting not far from them interjected. He was maybe a couple years older than them and had dark hair and bright hazel eyes that were observing them with obvious concern. His hands were behind his head like the others but he seemed to be itching to move.
Rachel turned to look at him, "It's okay, he hasn't met his soul mate yet. He's going to be fine."
A couple of people nodded at that and one woman seemed to sigh in relief at the news.
The guy frowned, "That's not a magical cure-all thing. You still need to put pressure on the wound if you don't want him to bleed out."
"That's what I keep telling her." Kurt commented. He had always been wary of Rachel's blind faith in destiny.
"I don't know how." She admitted, sounding vulnerable.
"Shut up if you don't wanna end up like him." The shooter warned, gesturing wildly with his gun between Rachel and the young stranger who had spoken.
"Please, let me help him. I have basic paramedic training, I can keep him from bleeding out. Please? He was just trying to help his friend."
"Fine, go play doctor. But don't try anything funny. I'm watching you."
The guy asked to retrieve a towel from his bag so he could use it in place of bandages and the man waved the gun in his direction, telling him to hurry up and get it over with.
"And you," the robber pointed to Rachel with his gun, "move away and shut up unless you want me to shoot someone else because of you."
Rachel did as ordered, trembling visibly. The guy walked over and kneeled beside Kurt, "I'm going to use this towel to put pressure on the wound, okay? It will hurt a little but it's the only way to stop the bleeding."
Kurt nodded and said through gritted teeth, "I doubt it can hurt more than this."
"Do you have any difficulty breathing?" he asked as he took hold of Kurt's wrist to check his pulse.
Kurt shook his head lightly, "No."
"Good. Can you move your hands?"
Kurt clenched and unclenched both hands.
"Your feet?"
Both feet moved.
"Good. That's really good. It means there's no damage to the spine." He gave Kurt a reassuring smile that Kurt tried to reciprocate but it turned into a grimace.
The robber who had shot Kurt was pacing up and down to keep an eye on everyone as his accomplice had moved on to the manager's office - terrified cashier held at gunpoint - in search of the safe. Kurt was barely aware of anything beside pain. He tried really hard to fight off the light-headedness that was slowly taking over him and ignore the rapidly soaking towel by focusing on the stranger's words.
"You were so brave. You saved your friend's life, do you realize that? Just a little more courage now, ok? Can you do that for me?" his right hand pushed away a stray lock of hair that had fallen on Kurt's forehead and Kurt followed the movement with his gaze before closing his eyes and biting hard on his lip. A heart wrenching sob escaped him and tears streamed down his face.
"Shh. I've got you." The stranger soothed. "Help will come soon."
"My Blaine." Kurt half whispered half sobbed.
The stranger froze, "What?"
Kurt opened his eyes to look at him and more tears spilled down his cheeks, "You're my Blaine."
"Kurt?" Blaine asked with a trembling voice and wide eyes. His gaze shifting to his right palm where the name he had treasured for so long was carved into his skin.
Kurt offered his left hand with Blaine's name on it and Blaine grabbed it, holding it tightly.
"Kurt, oh my god, it's you. Hold on, ok? I'm here. I'm going to take care of you. Don't leave me now."
Kurt started sobbing again, "I'm so sorry."
"No. Don't say stuff like that. You're going to be fine. Stay with me, Kurt. Stay with me." Blaine's voice had raised now and a tear had slipped down his cheek.
Rachel, who had caught everything they were saying, was clasping both of her hands on her mouth while she shook with silent sobs.
Blaine kept whispering soothingly to Kurt as he valiantly tried to fight off the frantic edge in his voice and used both hands to put more pressure on the wound. Kurt was paling visibly and his breath was getting labored. Blaine couldn't tell if it was because of the crying or if Kurt was going in shock because of the wound. Either way there wasn't much he could do in their situation.
"Blaine."
"I'm here. I'm never leaving you."
"I'm so sorry."
"Stop saying that. You have nothing to apologize for. Just stay with me, ok? I've been looking for you forever, don't leave me now."
Kurt smiled tremulously at him just as the room seemed to explode with the noise of breaking glass. People screamed and the man who had shot Kurt fell to the floor. Blaine ducked, trying to protect Kurt from the flying glass shards without releasing his hold on the wound. He felt Kurt's hand grip his side for a second before slipping down to the floor as his eyes fluttered close.
"Kurt!" Blaine called desperately just as the police stormed inside. Rachel crawled towards them screaming for help and Finn came running, immediately wrapping her in his arms.
~o~
Finn had been in the middle of debating whether he needed a third carton of chocolate ice cream (it was a popular flavor and they might run out) when he heard screaming. His first instinct was to drop everything he was holding and run, calling for Rachel. He stopped dead when he heard a shot being fired. Everything in him screamed for him to run towards the commotion and make sure that Rachel and Kurt were safe but as he heard a male voice thunder over the screaming and threaten everyone who moved he realized that he couldn't. The best thing he could do for everyone was stay back, hide himself and call the police. Even if it killed him not to be there for two of the most important people in his life, this was the only way he had to help them.
~o~
As Kurt discovered death was painful, bright and… not silent. There was a voice. A voice that was possibly talking to him. He felt like he should recognize it but he couldn't put his finger on it.
"-told me how you had a solo at regionals and you guys won. I can't wait to hear you sing, you already look like an angel I bet you sound like one too."
A pause and a sigh.
"Then I had to stop her because she was telling me all these things about you… and I want to know everything about you but I want to hear it from you, you know? I want to hear your voice." Kurt felt a squeeze on his hand and oh, he wasn't dead. Dead people didn't feel their hands being squeezed, did they? That also alerted him to the fact that he was lying down on something soft, probably a bed.
"Your family keeps hugging me, they seem great, but right now I just want to hug you." The voice paused and there was a huff of breath. "I probably sound pathetic right now, it's just that… I've missed you… and can you even miss someone you've never met? But it's how I've felt all this time, I think even before I knew your name. The moment you looked into my eyes and told me I was yours… it felt right."
Blaine.
It flashed in his mind, bright like the sun, making his heart beat faster. Kurt spared a second to rejoice over his beating heart.
His hand was squeezed again. "I can't wait to see your eyes again." Blaine whispered.
Kurt squeezed back and willed his eyes to open.
"Kurt?" the hope in Blaine's voice was unmistakable.
Kurt gave him a soft smile, "Hi."
"Hi." Blaine's tone was full of relief, his eyes a little wet but he was grinning at Kurt.
"I didn't dream you." Kurt's voice was scratchy and he tried to clear his throat.
Blaine emitted a choked laugh and shook his head, "I'm right here." His free hand reached up to cup Kurt's face and gently stroke his cheekbone.
"Good, 'cause I might look like an angel but I'm pretty sure you are one."
Blaine bit his lip, "You heard me?"
"I tuned in around regionals but it took me a while to gather all my senses. Sorry I made you wait."
Blaine shook his head again and swallowed hard. They just looked at each other for a moment before Blaine tentatively leaned in and pressed a soft kiss to Kurt's lips.
They both flushed a little and smiled at each other. It felt like a promise.
"Sorry, I'm kind of a mess right now." Blaine looked down at himself, he was wearing an oversized grey hoodie a nurse had given him to change into when he had refused to go home while Kurt was in surgery. It had been necessary since his shirt was stained with Kurt's blood. "I didn't want to leave you and-"
"It's okay." Kurt interrupted. "This is hardly the outfit I was hoping to meet you in." He glared slightly at the hospital gown that could be seen peeking out of the covers. "But for all I care right now you could be covered in mud and you'd still be the first thing I'd want to see." He blushed a little when saying this but it was worth it to see Blaine grin and look down shyly.
"But you should probably tell my dad I'm awake."
Blaine's eyes widened immediately, "Oh! Yes, oh my god, of course… I can't believe I haven't yet…" he got up and went to the door, "Mr. Hummel!" He called to the waiting room not far from Kurt's room, "Kurt's awake!"
In the blink of an eye Kurt's room was filled with people, Burt rushed to his son's bedside barely holding back tears while Carole and Rachel let them flow freely, Finn too was sniffling a little as he tried to hug his brother without hurting him. Blaine held back, his eyes fixed on Kurt, and let them all have a moment with him until Kurt's doctor came in to check on his patient and then ushered everybody out, saying Kurt needed to rest. They had been lucky, the bullet had barely missed Kurt's left kidney and while his recovery would take some time he wouldn't suffer any permanent damage.
Kurt stretched a hand toward Blaine silently asking him to stay. Blaine took his place at Kurt's side, linking their hands and threading their fingers together, the names on their palms touching as he pressed his lips to Kurt's hand.