One More Touch
Title: One More Touch
Rating: PG-13
Fandom: Green Day
Pairing: Billie/Tre/Mike, mentions of Billie/Mike
Warnings: Insecurity in a relationship
Word Count: 1,777
Notes: Feels.
Summary: They belong together and he doesn't fit into the picture.
Tre lays in bed, staring up at the ceiling as he listens to the quiet, even breathing of Mike and Billie on either side of him. He knows he doesn't really belong there, but he can't help staying. He's wanted this for so long and, now that he has s a little part of it, he's loathe to give it up now. What they share will never really be his, he knows. Everyone knows about Billie and Mike. Everyone is okay with Billie and Mike. No one would be okay with Billie and Mike and Tre. Not that they've really cared what people think, but Tre doesn't want it to hurt the band and hurt the other two, so he'll live with what he has. What they're willing to share with him. It's more than he deserves. He doesn't deserve Mike handing him a cup of his perfectly made coffee every morning when he stumbles into the kitchen, still half asleep. He doesn't deserve the random Eskimo kisses that Billie likes to give out when they're alone. He doesn't deserve them. Not in that way.
He slips out from their arms and crawls over their legs, getting out of bed. He pulls on his boxers and jeans, patting down his pockets for his pack of cigarettes and a lighter. Finding both, he walks downstairs and out the back door, leaning on the railing of the deck. He lights a cigarette and takes a drag, letting the nicotine rush into his system. He blows smoke rings in an effort to distract himself, but it doesn't really work. He flicks ash off the end of the cigarette and stares down at the burning end contemplatively.
He jumps when arms slide around his waist and a chin presses into his shoulder. Billie nuzzles the side of his neck, yawning.
"Why are you up? Come back to bed." Billie murmurs.
"Can't sleep." Tre shrugs one shoulder, so as to not dislodge Billie's chin.
Billie reaches out and steals Tre's cigarette, taking a drag himself, turning his head away from Tre to exhale the smoke. He puts out the cigarette on the deck railing, ignoring Tre's sound of protest. "Come on, Mike's waiting."
Billie grabs Tre's hand and leads him back upstairs, slipping back into bed next to Mike, who stirs. "Find 'em?"
"Yeah, I found him. Brought him back." Billie looks at Tre expectantly as he stands at the foot of the bed, still wearing his jeans.
"'Kay, good." Mike snuggles into Billie's shoulder, throwing an arm around his waist. Billie curls into him, kissing him softly.
Tre's heart breaks. He doesn't fit into this picture. There's no place and no room for him. He shouldn't intrude on their relationship and so he won't. Not anymore. They're the ones that belong together. Not him. Never him.
He picks up his shirt and puts it back on, looking around for his shoes.
Billie blinks at him. "What are you doing?"
"I have to go." Tre mumbles, toeing on his shoes when he finds them.
"Go where?" Billie asks, frowning in confusion.
"Home. Anywhere. Not here." Tre says, shaking his head. He heads out the door, not looking back at Billie.
He's almost made it out the front door before Billie catches up and grabs his wrist.
"What the fuck, Tre?" He asks, glaring at the other man.
Tre winces. He tries to pull his wrist back from Billie, but Billie refuses to let him go.
"Answer me." Billie squeezes Tre's wrist a bit.
"I don't belong with you two." That's not what he meant to say at all, but it's what comes out and he cringes, waiting for Billie's reaction.
"What are you talking about? Of course you belong with us." Billie tugs Tre forward and wraps his arms around him.
Tre allows it for a moment before pulling away again. "No, I don't. You two are perfect together. You don't need anything more and you certainly don't need me. I'm just intruding on something that was never meant for me in the first place, no matter how much I wish it was."
"Where is this coming from?" Billie frowns, studying Tre.
"It doesn't matter. I'm gonna go and we'll go back to how we were before. You and Mike will be perfect again and I'll be whatever I was before, okay?" Tre smiles sadly at Billie.
"Look, it's too late for this shit. Come back to bed and we'll all talk about this in the morning, okay?" Billie rubs at his eyes tiredly.
Tre sighs and gives in, hoping he can convince Billie to let this go in the morning because he doesn't want to talk about it, doesn't want them to know how he really doesn't deserve them. He lets Billie lead him back upstairs and into bed beside Mike as Billie curls up on his other side, making sure that he can't get out of bed again without waking at least one of them.
Billie leans over and kisses him. "We do love you, you know?"
Mike hums in agreement, pressing a kiss to the side of Tre's neck.
Tre feels like he's going to cry because if they only knew how he doesn't deserve them, then Billie wouldn't say that to him.
He closes his eyes and falls into a restless sleep, dreading the morning.
~*~
Tre manages to wake up before both Billie and Mike, slipping away from bed with ease. He goes into the bathroom and takes care of business in there before getting dressed. He makes it to the door before Billie wakes up.
"Where do you think you're going?" Billie asks, voice still rough with sleep.
Tre freezes with his hand still on the door knob. "Coffee?"
Billie snorts. "Bullshit. You were trying to leave before we talked about whatever that was last night. You're not getting out of talking, Tre."
"I do want coffee though." Mike murmurs, now awake.
"We'll get coffee together." Billie assures him, shooting a glance at Tre.
Tre sighs, but waits for the other two to shuffle around and get their boxers on again. Once again, he feels out of place, being fully dressed, like an outsider looking in.
He sits down at the kitchen table and watches Mike and Billie move around the kitchen with ease, never stumbling into one another, not even really speaking, and yet still knowing what the other wanted and where they would move next. It's a familiar dance and it's one that Tre knows he'll never have with either of them and that's why he doesn't belong in this equation.
A mug of coffee is soon placed in front of him and he spoons sugar in mechanically, not really caring. Mike and Billie sit across from him, sipping at their own coffees.
"So you wanna tell us why you wanted to leave last night?" Mike asks, setting his mug down.
"No." Tre mumbles into the rim of his mug.
"Well, do it anyway." Billie says sharply.
Mike glances over at him and shakes his head.
Billie sighs and reaches out, resting one of his hands on Tre's. "Just tell us what's wrong."
Tre pulls his hand away. "I don't belong in whatever this is. You two belong together. I'm the odd man out. It doesn't work."
Billie and Mike exchange glances.
"Are we making you feel left out, Tre?" Mike asks gently.
Tre frowns down at the worn wood of the table top, trying to find the right words to explain this to them. He needs to explain how they fit like puzzle pieces made for each other and he's just being forced into place because they want him there, not because he actually fits.
"No. It's just...I know I'm not meant for this. To be in this relationship. Don't get me wrong, I love you both, but you two are the ones that belong together. I'm just kind of here." Tre curls his fingers around his mug.
"Tre, we love you. You're not just 'kind of here' for us. You're in this with us together." Mike says earnestly.
"You two are in it for the long haul. You've always been. For the band, for each other. I'm not saying I'm not, but there's always a before me. There's never a before Billie or before Mike for you two. There's always a before Tre in everything. The band, your friendship, now this relationship. There always will be." Tre shrugs.
"But that's not how we see it at all." Billie protests.
"Maybe not, but that's how I see it." Tre says.
"You shouldn't. Before or after doesn't matter. What matters is the now and we're all here together now in all the ways that count." Mike says, reaching out for Tre's hand.
This time, Tre doesn't pull away, but he doesn't uncurl his fingers either. "When the world looks at you, they see you two as the couple. And I get it. I see it too. When you're together, it's like the world just disappears. You can have that. I don't mind. I know you love each other and I'm happy for you. I just can't take being the third wheel anymore."
"Jesus, Tre. Why didn't you tell us you felt this way?" Billie asks, running a hand through his hair.
Tre shrugs. "It was never supposed to last this long and I wasn't supposed to fall in love."
"What are you talking about?" Mike asks, looking confused.
"Didn't this just start out as sex? Something to spice up your sex life?" Tre asks, taking another sip of the now cold coffee.
"What? No! It was never just sex for us. We brought you into our bed because it meant bringing you into the relationship too." Billie exclaims.
"We should have told you more, I guess." Mike looks apologetic.
"We love you, Tre. Just as much as we love each other. We're all in this together, equally." Billie stands up and walks over to Tre, kissing him fiercely.
Tre hesitates, but then gives into Billie, kissing back just as hard as he is being kissed. He feels Mike's hands on his shoulders, gently massaging. There are lips on his neck and then Billie is pulling away from his mouth. He barely has time to breathe before Mike is kissing him, softer, but no less passionate than Billie.
They lead him back into the bedroom, cups of coffee abandoned on the table. Words and promises of love are whispered into his skin with mouths and fingertips, pressed into his heart and soul, and they make sure he's never going to forget them.
He never does.
Rating: PG-13
Fandom: Green Day
Pairing: Billie/Tre/Mike, mentions of Billie/Mike
Warnings: Insecurity in a relationship
Word Count: 1,777
Notes: Feels.
Summary: They belong together and he doesn't fit into the picture.
Tre lays in bed, staring up at the ceiling as he listens to the quiet, even breathing of Mike and Billie on either side of him. He knows he doesn't really belong there, but he can't help staying. He's wanted this for so long and, now that he has s a little part of it, he's loathe to give it up now. What they share will never really be his, he knows. Everyone knows about Billie and Mike. Everyone is okay with Billie and Mike. No one would be okay with Billie and Mike and Tre. Not that they've really cared what people think, but Tre doesn't want it to hurt the band and hurt the other two, so he'll live with what he has. What they're willing to share with him. It's more than he deserves. He doesn't deserve Mike handing him a cup of his perfectly made coffee every morning when he stumbles into the kitchen, still half asleep. He doesn't deserve the random Eskimo kisses that Billie likes to give out when they're alone. He doesn't deserve them. Not in that way.
He slips out from their arms and crawls over their legs, getting out of bed. He pulls on his boxers and jeans, patting down his pockets for his pack of cigarettes and a lighter. Finding both, he walks downstairs and out the back door, leaning on the railing of the deck. He lights a cigarette and takes a drag, letting the nicotine rush into his system. He blows smoke rings in an effort to distract himself, but it doesn't really work. He flicks ash off the end of the cigarette and stares down at the burning end contemplatively.
He jumps when arms slide around his waist and a chin presses into his shoulder. Billie nuzzles the side of his neck, yawning.
"Why are you up? Come back to bed." Billie murmurs.
"Can't sleep." Tre shrugs one shoulder, so as to not dislodge Billie's chin.
Billie reaches out and steals Tre's cigarette, taking a drag himself, turning his head away from Tre to exhale the smoke. He puts out the cigarette on the deck railing, ignoring Tre's sound of protest. "Come on, Mike's waiting."
Billie grabs Tre's hand and leads him back upstairs, slipping back into bed next to Mike, who stirs. "Find 'em?"
"Yeah, I found him. Brought him back." Billie looks at Tre expectantly as he stands at the foot of the bed, still wearing his jeans.
"'Kay, good." Mike snuggles into Billie's shoulder, throwing an arm around his waist. Billie curls into him, kissing him softly.
Tre's heart breaks. He doesn't fit into this picture. There's no place and no room for him. He shouldn't intrude on their relationship and so he won't. Not anymore. They're the ones that belong together. Not him. Never him.
He picks up his shirt and puts it back on, looking around for his shoes.
Billie blinks at him. "What are you doing?"
"I have to go." Tre mumbles, toeing on his shoes when he finds them.
"Go where?" Billie asks, frowning in confusion.
"Home. Anywhere. Not here." Tre says, shaking his head. He heads out the door, not looking back at Billie.
He's almost made it out the front door before Billie catches up and grabs his wrist.
"What the fuck, Tre?" He asks, glaring at the other man.
Tre winces. He tries to pull his wrist back from Billie, but Billie refuses to let him go.
"Answer me." Billie squeezes Tre's wrist a bit.
"I don't belong with you two." That's not what he meant to say at all, but it's what comes out and he cringes, waiting for Billie's reaction.
"What are you talking about? Of course you belong with us." Billie tugs Tre forward and wraps his arms around him.
Tre allows it for a moment before pulling away again. "No, I don't. You two are perfect together. You don't need anything more and you certainly don't need me. I'm just intruding on something that was never meant for me in the first place, no matter how much I wish it was."
"Where is this coming from?" Billie frowns, studying Tre.
"It doesn't matter. I'm gonna go and we'll go back to how we were before. You and Mike will be perfect again and I'll be whatever I was before, okay?" Tre smiles sadly at Billie.
"Look, it's too late for this shit. Come back to bed and we'll all talk about this in the morning, okay?" Billie rubs at his eyes tiredly.
Tre sighs and gives in, hoping he can convince Billie to let this go in the morning because he doesn't want to talk about it, doesn't want them to know how he really doesn't deserve them. He lets Billie lead him back upstairs and into bed beside Mike as Billie curls up on his other side, making sure that he can't get out of bed again without waking at least one of them.
Billie leans over and kisses him. "We do love you, you know?"
Mike hums in agreement, pressing a kiss to the side of Tre's neck.
Tre feels like he's going to cry because if they only knew how he doesn't deserve them, then Billie wouldn't say that to him.
He closes his eyes and falls into a restless sleep, dreading the morning.
~*~
Tre manages to wake up before both Billie and Mike, slipping away from bed with ease. He goes into the bathroom and takes care of business in there before getting dressed. He makes it to the door before Billie wakes up.
"Where do you think you're going?" Billie asks, voice still rough with sleep.
Tre freezes with his hand still on the door knob. "Coffee?"
Billie snorts. "Bullshit. You were trying to leave before we talked about whatever that was last night. You're not getting out of talking, Tre."
"I do want coffee though." Mike murmurs, now awake.
"We'll get coffee together." Billie assures him, shooting a glance at Tre.
Tre sighs, but waits for the other two to shuffle around and get their boxers on again. Once again, he feels out of place, being fully dressed, like an outsider looking in.
He sits down at the kitchen table and watches Mike and Billie move around the kitchen with ease, never stumbling into one another, not even really speaking, and yet still knowing what the other wanted and where they would move next. It's a familiar dance and it's one that Tre knows he'll never have with either of them and that's why he doesn't belong in this equation.
A mug of coffee is soon placed in front of him and he spoons sugar in mechanically, not really caring. Mike and Billie sit across from him, sipping at their own coffees.
"So you wanna tell us why you wanted to leave last night?" Mike asks, setting his mug down.
"No." Tre mumbles into the rim of his mug.
"Well, do it anyway." Billie says sharply.
Mike glances over at him and shakes his head.
Billie sighs and reaches out, resting one of his hands on Tre's. "Just tell us what's wrong."
Tre pulls his hand away. "I don't belong in whatever this is. You two belong together. I'm the odd man out. It doesn't work."
Billie and Mike exchange glances.
"Are we making you feel left out, Tre?" Mike asks gently.
Tre frowns down at the worn wood of the table top, trying to find the right words to explain this to them. He needs to explain how they fit like puzzle pieces made for each other and he's just being forced into place because they want him there, not because he actually fits.
"No. It's just...I know I'm not meant for this. To be in this relationship. Don't get me wrong, I love you both, but you two are the ones that belong together. I'm just kind of here." Tre curls his fingers around his mug.
"Tre, we love you. You're not just 'kind of here' for us. You're in this with us together." Mike says earnestly.
"You two are in it for the long haul. You've always been. For the band, for each other. I'm not saying I'm not, but there's always a before me. There's never a before Billie or before Mike for you two. There's always a before Tre in everything. The band, your friendship, now this relationship. There always will be." Tre shrugs.
"But that's not how we see it at all." Billie protests.
"Maybe not, but that's how I see it." Tre says.
"You shouldn't. Before or after doesn't matter. What matters is the now and we're all here together now in all the ways that count." Mike says, reaching out for Tre's hand.
This time, Tre doesn't pull away, but he doesn't uncurl his fingers either. "When the world looks at you, they see you two as the couple. And I get it. I see it too. When you're together, it's like the world just disappears. You can have that. I don't mind. I know you love each other and I'm happy for you. I just can't take being the third wheel anymore."
"Jesus, Tre. Why didn't you tell us you felt this way?" Billie asks, running a hand through his hair.
Tre shrugs. "It was never supposed to last this long and I wasn't supposed to fall in love."
"What are you talking about?" Mike asks, looking confused.
"Didn't this just start out as sex? Something to spice up your sex life?" Tre asks, taking another sip of the now cold coffee.
"What? No! It was never just sex for us. We brought you into our bed because it meant bringing you into the relationship too." Billie exclaims.
"We should have told you more, I guess." Mike looks apologetic.
"We love you, Tre. Just as much as we love each other. We're all in this together, equally." Billie stands up and walks over to Tre, kissing him fiercely.
Tre hesitates, but then gives into Billie, kissing back just as hard as he is being kissed. He feels Mike's hands on his shoulders, gently massaging. There are lips on his neck and then Billie is pulling away from his mouth. He barely has time to breathe before Mike is kissing him, softer, but no less passionate than Billie.
They lead him back into the bedroom, cups of coffee abandoned on the table. Words and promises of love are whispered into his skin with mouths and fingertips, pressed into his heart and soul, and they make sure he's never going to forget them.
He never does.