i began seeing a therapist last week. firs session was question and answer. why do i want treatment. i get anxiety attacks. every morning my entire mouth goes completely numb. my words are slurred. i get a headache. i have trouble sleeping at night i cant make normal decisions. for the past hour i have been trying to figure out what to get to eat ( Read more... )

ok so its been awhile since ive had a chance to post. they took away our internet access at work. now work is SO boring im ready to tear out my hair at the end of the night. the last 10 minutes feel like an hour. i only have internet access when i go to my dads now. which is quite rare. but anyway i was 4 days late with my period this month. with ( Read more... )

im so frustrated with every little thing in my life.i called to reschedule my doctors appointment weeks ago. they NEVER got back to me. i thought i couldnt make it cause it was the same day as my moms surgery. but it turns out i had to drop her off in brick early ran back to neptune for my appt. and was gonna go back to her. just as i hit neptune i ( Read more... )

cravings cravings cravings.....i want cake. my moms yellow cake with chocolate pudding center. grrr argh i have sugar free pudding and sugar free klondike bars up in keansburg but i wont get there till thursday. grrr argh. and im broke so i cant pick anything up before going home. broke till friday. i was trying to be good. i figured on a carb free ( Read more... )

so many things are brought too my attention lately and i feel so helpless. i used to always be on top of things. on top of peoples moods....or was i so wrapped up in myself that i thought i was on top of things? anywho. i am disgusted by the way friends treat each other these days. i personally truly beleive high school was the best time of my life ( Read more... )

it always sucks. well i base my year on how sucky my new years eve goes. last year i was FLAT broke, feeling sick and sore, junior spent most of the evening keeping his mother calm so i spent only 5 minutes with him. matt and anthony were being annoying and i felt INCREDIBLY lonely. and look at my year. sucky money matt and anthony turned into ( Read more... )

i actually fit into a pair of jeans with room to spare. freaking amazing!!! mom gave me a gift certificate for clothes that i went and spent today and clothes actually fit me!!! i havent had a pair of girl cut jeans in 2 years. i was wearing mens sized 56 last time i bought jeans. im soooooooooo happy. wait till this summer boy. im going down. ill ( Read more... )

well my xmas was a big combo of wierd aggravating people and situations. it started xmas eve....i left jr house to head home to spend xmas eve with my sisters and so i could be there xmas morning. when i leave jrs mom asks me what time ill get there and what time ill be leaving. i said ill be there by 11 but i gotta go around 2 or 230. she says no ( Read more... )

bored....at work nothing to do. tomorrow is busy. dec 24th is busy why in the hell would u spend the last 2 shopping days taking pictures. they dont come back till january now. ive done a lot of birthday pictures this week. thats gotta suck though having a birthday o close to xmas. well i know my moms is the 18th but thats a week before. i dont get ( Read more... )

i am depressed. the web site told me so. ive been feeling under the weather. down in the dumps, which is odd for me this time of year b/c i LOVE xmas...always have. its the eternal kid in me. but jrs family is just beating the spirit out of me. all the nonsense fighting and threats. the tree goes up the tree comes down. presents disappear when ( Read more... )