Ficlet: Something to Talk About (Grey's Anatomy, Derek Shepherd / Meredith Grey, PG)
Something to Talk About
Fandom: Grey’s Anatomy
Pairing: Derek Shepherd / Meredith Grey
Spoilers: 8.23 Migration
Rating: PG
Summary: Derek knows what to do.
It was something else that they didn’t talk about.
There’d been a lot of that going around lately.
They don’t talk about his patients, his surgeries. They don’t talk about Zola and almost losing her. They don’t talk about almost losing each other. They don’t talk about the fact that he built them a dream house, as beautiful as any design magazine feature, and they are still knocking around, crowded into the too small rooms of her mother’s old house. They don’t talk about the fact that she would leave him lonely in their bed any night of the week, alone with their daughter, any time that Christina called.
And the biggest thing they don’t talk about…. She owed him this, and for once he wasn’t going to back down.
He’d sacrificed so much for her already. He didn’t regret it, really - most of the time. There were things, though, that he couldn’t quite forgive, certainly couldn’t forget. His Alzheimer’s trial was a wash. His life’s work, all of those people they could have saved, gone in an instance of selfishness. It’s not that he wouldn’t have wanted to save Adele, he did want to, but there was a bigger picture. He wanted to save a hundred Adeles, thousands; he wanted to save Meredith.
His career, her career, Richard’s career, she put them all in jeopardy. And for what? It hadn’t helped in the end. Adele was still lost to them, and so was his study, his reputation. This was a chance to get them back. He was proud of her earning a place at The Brigham , but what Harvard was offering was unprecedented, especially at this point in his career. The endowment, the research, the fellows, it was beyond his wildest dreams. It was his dream.
He wouldn’t give up Meredith; he wouldn’t give up Zola. This - though - this being here, doing these same things over an over and aching with the frustration of it, this he could give up. Seattle Grace was home, but it wasn’t necessarily a healthy place to be.
Boston would be good for him, for them. Meredith would move on. Christina would move on. They’d grow apart. They might not mean to, but they would. They were on different paths, different trajectories. Maybe, his wife would turn to him for a change. Maybe, they could make decisions together - be a team. Not in the OR, of course, she’d taken that dream from him, too; he couldn’t trust her there, as he had learned time and again. Maybe, away from here they could learn to trust each other in the ways that counted, and he could get the respect that he needed.
To be a respected surgeon, a respected teacher, a respected husband, those were his true dreams. The mountain views, and the stone fireplace, and the tub that Meredith could soak in, that covered her knees and her boobs at the same time, they had nothing on his true dreams. They just represented a place to escape, to get away from the fact that Seattle Grace wasn’t what he thought it would be.
He had been running away - from Mark, from Addison, from his family. They had all followed him eventually, and secretly he was glad, besides running had brought him Meredith. But now, it was time to move on, not just away from something, but towards something.
He was going to convince Meredith; he had to. This time, he was right. This time, he knew what was best for them, and he was going to make it happen despite her objections. She owed him this, and he was going to make it happen, make this the life they deserved, because it was just one more thing that they didn’t talk about.
This entry was cross-posted from my Dreamwidth journal. Feel free to reply on this entry there, using OpenID, or to read those comments.
Fandom: Grey’s Anatomy
Pairing: Derek Shepherd / Meredith Grey
Spoilers: 8.23 Migration
Rating: PG
Summary: Derek knows what to do.
It was something else that they didn’t talk about.
There’d been a lot of that going around lately.
They don’t talk about his patients, his surgeries. They don’t talk about Zola and almost losing her. They don’t talk about almost losing each other. They don’t talk about the fact that he built them a dream house, as beautiful as any design magazine feature, and they are still knocking around, crowded into the too small rooms of her mother’s old house. They don’t talk about the fact that she would leave him lonely in their bed any night of the week, alone with their daughter, any time that Christina called.
And the biggest thing they don’t talk about…. She owed him this, and for once he wasn’t going to back down.
He’d sacrificed so much for her already. He didn’t regret it, really - most of the time. There were things, though, that he couldn’t quite forgive, certainly couldn’t forget. His Alzheimer’s trial was a wash. His life’s work, all of those people they could have saved, gone in an instance of selfishness. It’s not that he wouldn’t have wanted to save Adele, he did want to, but there was a bigger picture. He wanted to save a hundred Adeles, thousands; he wanted to save Meredith.
His career, her career, Richard’s career, she put them all in jeopardy. And for what? It hadn’t helped in the end. Adele was still lost to them, and so was his study, his reputation. This was a chance to get them back. He was proud of her earning a place at The Brigham , but what Harvard was offering was unprecedented, especially at this point in his career. The endowment, the research, the fellows, it was beyond his wildest dreams. It was his dream.
He wouldn’t give up Meredith; he wouldn’t give up Zola. This - though - this being here, doing these same things over an over and aching with the frustration of it, this he could give up. Seattle Grace was home, but it wasn’t necessarily a healthy place to be.
Boston would be good for him, for them. Meredith would move on. Christina would move on. They’d grow apart. They might not mean to, but they would. They were on different paths, different trajectories. Maybe, his wife would turn to him for a change. Maybe, they could make decisions together - be a team. Not in the OR, of course, she’d taken that dream from him, too; he couldn’t trust her there, as he had learned time and again. Maybe, away from here they could learn to trust each other in the ways that counted, and he could get the respect that he needed.
To be a respected surgeon, a respected teacher, a respected husband, those were his true dreams. The mountain views, and the stone fireplace, and the tub that Meredith could soak in, that covered her knees and her boobs at the same time, they had nothing on his true dreams. They just represented a place to escape, to get away from the fact that Seattle Grace wasn’t what he thought it would be.
He had been running away - from Mark, from Addison, from his family. They had all followed him eventually, and secretly he was glad, besides running had brought him Meredith. But now, it was time to move on, not just away from something, but towards something.
He was going to convince Meredith; he had to. This time, he was right. This time, he knew what was best for them, and he was going to make it happen despite her objections. She owed him this, and he was going to make it happen, make this the life they deserved, because it was just one more thing that they didn’t talk about.
This entry was cross-posted from my Dreamwidth journal. Feel free to reply on this entry there, using OpenID, or to read those comments.