Hogwarts Overexposed Chapter 10

[szaleniec1000]

So, what to do when you've written your daring rescue and confrontation with the arch-villain in Chapter 9 of 24? Why, take a detour into PSA Hell and bad soap opera shenanigans, of course!

Comments

[danel4d]

There is so much here which is so utterly dreadful, isn't there? I mean, there's the base level where it's never quite clear whether its spinning off from Psychic Serpent or not

[szaleniec1000]

It's telling that he said on Yahoo that he killed off Wrong because he wanted to raise the stakes and felt that he'd done all he could with her as a villain. Yes, he made the Minister for Magic herself, theoretically the most powerful and influential person in wizarding Britain, a villain. And all she did was occasionally kidnap someone or blow something up, and he never saw any other potential in the idea. Pathetic.

[sickbritkid2]

No kidding, dude.

Not to mention how he utterly squanders the potential of having Salazar Slytherin be his main villain from here on out! IIRC, he basically just paces in every scene he's in and then blows up Jurassic Park, right?

Oh no instead wait haha he saw her lady-garden! Oops.

This kinda encapsulates everything wrong with Hogwarts Exposed. You've got some interesting potential in the "remaining Death Eaters at large", "Minister of Magic is secretly a worshiper of an ancient Dark Wizard", and "Voldemort's distant ancestor, Slytherin, is revived and poses a great threat" plots, but instead of actually developing and pursuing those plots, the dumbshit keeps hamstringing himself to meet his nudity quota...

[szaleniec1000]

IIRC, he basically just paces in every scene he's in and then blows up Jurassic Park, right?

From what I've heard, yes. And how someone can take a premise like "wizarding Jurassic Park" and make it shit... well, I'd say it's hard to believe, but Hogwarts Exposed.

[sickbritkid2]

Hogwarts Exposed dialogue is how people really talk, apparently. That's what that one reviewer said, and they can't be wrong because they like Hogwarts Exposed.

If Hogwarts Exposed dialogue is real dialogue, then I'm a hippogriff!

[sickbritkid2]

Not that she's, you know, reported them or anything. In fact, neither she nor Denise have even been in the story for several months.

No kidding. Not to mention the fact that it was Denise chiming in which clued me into knowing that Kim and Emily were in their dorm at Hogwarts. Seeing as the opening paragraph, as always, had nothing but the old FPODD.

[sickbritkid2]

“Now are we going to be forced to watch you two fornicate as well?”

"I say, old chap, will you two be engaging in a light bit of fornication this evening? Pip pip cheerio...Fish and chips...'ello, guvna!"

-Neil's version of British people in this series.

[sickbritkid2]

“Kim and I simply love each other. But you two wouldn’t understand that. You’re both too ‘me oriented’ to have feelings for anyone else.”

If what they did in chapter 22 counts as "platonic" in Emily's book, I'd loathe to see what romance looks like to that little twat...

[szaleniec1000]

That was Emily and Caitlin, but he wants us to think that was platonic too. Bleurgh.

[sickbritkid2]

Oh, right.

Hard to tell, what with everyone's fucking voices being the exact same!

[szaleniec1000]

When Hermione is indistinguishable from Crabbe and Goyle, and 11-year-olds are indistinguishable from their teachers, you might be reading Hogwarts Exposed.