(no subject)
I wrote a short story.
I haven't felt like writing in a while but I felt like it tonight. Yea!
I know I shouldn’t, but it just feels right… He’s in the other room waiting for me. I don’t know what to do. I take a handful of cold water and throw it onto my face hoping somehow to wake myself out of this nightmare of a wonderful dream. The water does nothing to change my state of mind. It just makes me wet.
What should I do?
The nearest towel is in my hand before I even think about it, and it stops the drops of water before they slide off of my face and onto my chest. Part of me isn’t sure if its water or if its tears that dampen the towel, but there’s no way to really tell. My body is numb from anticipation. Should I do it? Should I not? Questions flash through my mind faster than the speed of light.
I try not to catch my gaze in the mirror.
The porcelain edge of the bathtub is a welcome seat as I swallow the rest of the vodka we shared. Something told me I shouldn’t do that standing. The bottle is in the garbage, and my head is in my hands. My legs bounce off the floor as my head races with every conceivable thought.
I can’t stay still.
The alcohol catches up with me as I stand. My hand grasps the edge of the sink as I stumble onto the toilet. Its only by the grace of God that the seat was covered. I’m making a lot of noise. I shouldn’t be. I should be quiet and figure this out on my own.
I can’t…
I breathe one deep breath to clear out my lungs. Gravity is my friend once again as I stand with only a slight stumble. Every part of my body goes numb. The door opens by magic, and I float towards him. The moonlight frames his half naked body as he turns from the window towards me. God is he gorgeous. He grabs my hand and leads me. I follow each step his feet take.
My heart races.
His body stops in front of a closed door. He pushes it open. I walk in unsure of what to expect but knowing what room it is.
I won’t…
The heat from his chest and arms radiate onto my skin before I know he’s behind me. My head turns before my body catches up. His eyes are locked into mine. His foot takes a step forward as mine takes a step back. He takes another step forward as I take another step back. We follow the same dance until my feet hit the edge of the bed.
I couldn’t…
He bends towards me. I slowly fall and crawl backwards towards the wall. He’s on his hands and knees mirroring my every move. His eyes never leave mine. The vodka makes me stumble, and my back hits the mattress.
I shouldn’t…
His breath trails up my leg to my stomach where I feel his lips caress my skin. He starts to unbutton my shirt. My body is on edge as his lips travel up my stomach to my chest to my neck. He pauses as his lips hover next to my ear.
“Do you want this?” He whispers so that I can barely hear.
“Yes.” I whisper back as his lips find mine.
Just another secret to try and keep… I’ll end up telling him sometime. I’m weak. Another heart to break.
I haven't felt like writing in a while but I felt like it tonight. Yea!
I know I shouldn’t, but it just feels right… He’s in the other room waiting for me. I don’t know what to do. I take a handful of cold water and throw it onto my face hoping somehow to wake myself out of this nightmare of a wonderful dream. The water does nothing to change my state of mind. It just makes me wet.
What should I do?
The nearest towel is in my hand before I even think about it, and it stops the drops of water before they slide off of my face and onto my chest. Part of me isn’t sure if its water or if its tears that dampen the towel, but there’s no way to really tell. My body is numb from anticipation. Should I do it? Should I not? Questions flash through my mind faster than the speed of light.
I try not to catch my gaze in the mirror.
The porcelain edge of the bathtub is a welcome seat as I swallow the rest of the vodka we shared. Something told me I shouldn’t do that standing. The bottle is in the garbage, and my head is in my hands. My legs bounce off the floor as my head races with every conceivable thought.
I can’t stay still.
The alcohol catches up with me as I stand. My hand grasps the edge of the sink as I stumble onto the toilet. Its only by the grace of God that the seat was covered. I’m making a lot of noise. I shouldn’t be. I should be quiet and figure this out on my own.
I can’t…
I breathe one deep breath to clear out my lungs. Gravity is my friend once again as I stand with only a slight stumble. Every part of my body goes numb. The door opens by magic, and I float towards him. The moonlight frames his half naked body as he turns from the window towards me. God is he gorgeous. He grabs my hand and leads me. I follow each step his feet take.
My heart races.
His body stops in front of a closed door. He pushes it open. I walk in unsure of what to expect but knowing what room it is.
I won’t…
The heat from his chest and arms radiate onto my skin before I know he’s behind me. My head turns before my body catches up. His eyes are locked into mine. His foot takes a step forward as mine takes a step back. He takes another step forward as I take another step back. We follow the same dance until my feet hit the edge of the bed.
I couldn’t…
He bends towards me. I slowly fall and crawl backwards towards the wall. He’s on his hands and knees mirroring my every move. His eyes never leave mine. The vodka makes me stumble, and my back hits the mattress.
I shouldn’t…
His breath trails up my leg to my stomach where I feel his lips caress my skin. He starts to unbutton my shirt. My body is on edge as his lips travel up my stomach to my chest to my neck. He pauses as his lips hover next to my ear.
“Do you want this?” He whispers so that I can barely hear.
“Yes.” I whisper back as his lips find mine.
Just another secret to try and keep… I’ll end up telling him sometime. I’m weak. Another heart to break.