Why is being wrong so demonized?

[t3hbastard]

I was taught to think of my ind as sort of a light in a giant dark room. No matter what the light will not be able to light everything and reveal all the shadows but constantly improving the light will reveal more and more. With this thinking I enter every conversation or debate with the simple goal of improving my thinking and helping the other

Comments

[trisloth]

I agree with you completely - there is no shame in being wrong.

However, I've found that if you're arguing with a person you have history with, you're usually not arguing about the topic at hand - it's usually:

a) "I'm getting mad it you because this reminds me of 80 other things I'm mad at you for, which is clouding my ability to be rational" or

b) "I'm getting mad because I resent myself for not taking care of myself or doing things that make me happy, and this is setting me off"

I think if people put daily effort into making themselves happy, instead of searching for happiness externally, people would have a lot more patience and be less defensive...

[t3hbastard]

Thats really a good point. The conversation was with my wife and she has ample reason to tell me to go to hell anytime she wants. The conversation was just so memorable to me because in form it was a perfect example of something that had been troubling me for a while about people's thinking. That said, she is a person who takes being wrong very personally, not just with me but in general.

On the whole I think that this thing about being wrong is far more than just a matter prior unrelated issues. I think its a specific problem in its own right.

[trisloth]

I think that's true - it is a specific problem in its own right. It may depend on how much we've built up a vision of ourselves in our head, especially if it's a vision of someone who is always right! A lot of people can't handle challenges to that vision...

[a_strange_day_]

Haha, you know what I'm going to say. It's the ego, man. People cling to a the idea of a permanent self and can't stand to think about the fact that what they consider their "self" may have flaws, imperfections and what have you (nothing to say of its ultimate impermanency and, thus, the illusory nature of its existence). Now, of course, this isn't a black or white thing. All of us who aren't enlightened still cling to the idea of a self to some extent, but some cling more strongly than others. You and I, because of our philosophical outlooks and experiences, tend to be those that cling a bit less. So we can handle being wrong about silly things like gas prices and the economy. But, unfortunately, I've noticed most people tend to cling a lot, and can't stand anything bad being said about this imputed "I". Anything that exposes a flaw, no matter how slight, is a threat to the ego and must be dealt with, no matter how unhappy that makes us in the process of doing so.

[t3hbastard]

Fair, my concept of I includes flexibility and adaptability therefore I am compelled to adjusting my beliefs the same way that others are compelled to blindly resist change. I can see that.

As is my nature though I wonder where the origin of and solution to the problem can be found. We place a lot of emphasis on being right about things from the very beginning with tests in school and such. I don't see a way around that though because it is important that children learn things and that requires some sort of diagnostic to see if they need further instruction in specific areas. Maybe its a matter of how you see the tests and such though. I can see ways to frame it so they could make being wrong shameful or simply show where study needs to be applied.

[a_strange_day_]

I think you're not too far off from it. I think framing it in less ego threatening terms could go a long way. One major problem, also, is how competitive and success-driven our society is. We pretty much take it for granted, because we are so surrounded by it. But think about how much pressure there is to be the absolute best, particularly in matters of education. People constantly use their education as a measure of their self-worth. However, because of that, if there's any sense that you may be wrong about something, that must mean you're stupid. Which is, of course, fallacious. That's a pretty macro level problem, though. I don't have any good answers about how to approach it.

[t3hbastard]

It really is a tough problem to find an answer for. Of course my megalomania combined with conscientiousness demands that I find a solution so that I'll be prepared to implement it once I'm declared God Emperor of Earth. (Which should be, you know, any day now)

[mrdennings]

I think it’s also a side effect of the overly hyped “winning is everything” mentality that this country has embraced to an un-healthy degree. We put so much importance on success and winning that anything short of that is completely and totally unacceptable and you should be ashamed of yourself for even thinking otherwise!

[lordkilron]

I believe you and I have had a similar conversation on this subject (the comments, not the one with your wife). I'm all for a Benevolent Despot. Historically, they've worked better than democracies and republics because of the Human rule #1, more than 2 people won't agree on anything.

Now for the Devil's advocate.

While I admit that gas prices have been higher, They are still fluctuating far too much for my taste. I remember 6-8 years ago, gas prices would change slightly every month. Now they seem to changing every 3-4 days. While sometime last year or the year before gas was 3-4 dollars, it has yet to drop back down to the $1.50-$2.00 range which is what my perception of the expectations the general public was hoping for. Plus while some experts say the Housing market is rebounding, it still seems to be in the toilet with active foreclosures still rather high.

[lordkilron]

Lets not forget "CHANGE" scares the crap out of people. They don't like it when everything they knew as fact is suddenly wrong.

And of course the old Human standard still applies "If you don't understand it, be afraid of it. Hate it!"
This works simply because its the easiest answer which does not require a good deal of thinking.

[lordkilron]

And about your leadership of the Planet,. . .

My minions await your command my Lord!

[lordkilron]

One last thing. . . we need to hang out more!

[greenlantern_oa]

I honestly believe you are experiencing the latest trend in our society

[lordkilron]

it goes along with the same thinking that you can not punish a child. If you punish them they might get upset. Lord knows we can't have that.