(no subject)
To continue in the vein of my last post, I continue to learn and teach myself the ways in which I can become more proactive:
There is a circle of influence and a circle of concern. The circle of influence describes those areas in life we have direct and indirect control of. The circle of concern describes areas we care about, but have 0 control over. One way to figure out which circle our issues or worries fit into is to distinguish between the have's and the be's. The circle of concern is filled with the have's.
"I'll be happy when I have my house paid off."
"Iv only I had a boss who wasn't such a dictator..."
"If only I had a more patient husband..."
"If I had more obediant kids.."
"If I could just have more time to myself..."
The Circle of influence is filled with the be's - I can be more patient, be wise, be loving. Its the character focus. Anytime we think the problem is "out there," that thought is the problem. We empower what's out there to control us. The change paradigm is "outside in" - what's out there has to change before we can change. The proactive approach is to change from the inside-out: to be different, and by being different, to effect positive change in what's out there I can be more rescourceful, I can be more diligent, I can be more creative, I can be more cooperative.
At the very heart of our Circle of Influence is our ability to make and keep commitments and promises. The commitments we make to ourselves and to others, and out integrity to those commitments, is the essence and clearest manifestation of our proactivity. It is also the essence of our growth. Through our human endowments of self-awareness and conscience, we become conscious of areas of weakness, areas for improvement, areas of talent that could be developed, areas that need to be changed or eliminated from our lives.
In the great literature of all progressive societies, love is a verb. Reactive people make it a feeling. They're driven by feelings. Hollywood has generally scripted us to believe that we are not responsible, that we are a product of our feelings. But the hollywood script does not describe the reality. If our feelings control our actions, it is becuase we have abdicated our responsibility and empowered them to do so.
Proactive people make love a verb. Love is something you do: the sacrifices you make, the giving of self, like a mother bringing a newborn into the world. If you want to study love, study those who sacrifice for others, even for people who offend or do not love in return. If you are a parent, look at the love you have for the children you sacrificed for. Love is a value that is actualized through loving actions. Proactive people subordinate feelings to values. Love, the feeling, can be recaptured.