I loathe the feeling that comes with waking up every day. The whole "Brand New Day" idea doesn't work for me. Each day isn't a fresh start. It isn't a chance to redeem all the wrongs that occured the day before. It's a carbon copy screenplay of bullshit that never ends. I've given up thinking that things are ever going to change. I'm staring ( Read more... )

I can remember a time about five years ago, sitting in a run down apartment built out of the loft of a barn with no money and tattered clothes thinking "Damn, I've got it made." Now I sit in my three bedroom two bathroom house with a steady income, a wife to be, and a child on the way and all I think is, "Where did I go wrong?" Somehow I managed ( Read more... )

The clock chimes time for change ( Read more... )

On February 16th I leave this school and do the seabag shuffle down the road to join up with the 2nd Batallion 7th Marines Infantry. From there I'll train for four months of psychotic hikes, guns, runs, and heat to leave for Fallujah in July. Oh what fun that will be. As if getting my orders changed out of nowhere to go to Iraq wasn't bad enough ( Read more... )

Well I'm sure nobody still reads this and nobody is cool. At least he wants to hear from me ( Read more... )

Short and sweet. I'm off tomorrow morning at 5:30. I'll return in November. Peace Negro.

I had to take my ring off today. I can honestly say that was one of the hardest things I've ever done. I almost lost it. It was everything I could do not to break down in front of her. Hell, she still held up better than I did. Oh well ( Read more... )

I really don't know what to say, but I feel the need to type and write and express and be retarded and jazz. I figure (as usual) if I simply start something will come out and maybe, just maybe, my thoughts might take some sort of coherent form that will make sense to me. This is all far-fetched wishing mind you, but nonetheless it should offer ( Read more... )

( A psychological restless tour / Through the museum of things which we adore / A store to sell books of lies / About the fate of fallen skies / That Chicken Little could not forsee / After countless hours of clamity / Steam engine whistles cry to the night / Just before -CRASH-; firelight. )

Once again I don't think I'll be getting much sleep tonight. I haven't been sleeping much lately and I don't think it's a good thing. I try, but it just doesn't happen. I used to be able to look at everything so positively. I used to have no worries about anything. I wish I still had that. No matter what came at me I could deal with it and ( Read more... )