fic: break the pattern
break the pattern
2pm: jaebum/wooyoung bromance
prompt: phone
pg-13
2026 words
break the pattern
Every time Wooyoung picks up the phone he'll dial in the first number that comes to mind. He knows it's not good to leave overseas calls hanging, but he'll still be left speechless whenever he hears a frightening familiar "hello" or occasional "yoboseyo" which just cuts that much deeper. Sometimes the recipient will realize his mistake and switch to english hastily with a sheepish cough and Wooyoung will slam the phone back onto its cradle with shaking fingers and an ache that claws at him from the inside. Maybe he's just not ready.
Not yet.
Wooyoung would sit with his back against the training room's mirrored wall and think about Jaebum. Jaebum. Because that's all he seems capable of doing nowadays. He'll remember how it was ironically the oldest one out of all of them who was the most inexperienced at expressing his emotions or that early period of culture shock that made Jaebum irritable almost every single day or when they were backstage just before their debut, their very first live performance, and Wooyoung could feel his heart thumping right against the bars of his ribcage and wondering if years of training would be justified or disappear in a terrifying blunder of stage fright, and Jaebum hadn't even prepared a lengthy speech (there wasn't enough time for one, anyway) but just looked each of them in the eye and asked "what time is it now?"
He remembers Taecyeon making some sarcastic comment on how that was prepared for their second album (if they had one, but no one liked pondering that possibility) but the effect was ruined by his shaking voice.
They answered anyway.
In twenty-five minutes or so Chansung would stumble through the door with two cups of instant ramyun and his usual eyebags that reached all the way down to his chin and Wooyoung would drag himself to his feet. It had almost become a game, to see if Taecyeon would pile into the van with them or if he would collapse of exhaustion and running on nothing but caffeine seventeen hours a day, but he eventually folded himself into the cramped confines of the vehicle silently and wordlessly. Wooyoung feels unjust for himself, these members, sometimes. How did they end up like this?
Wooyoung would look out the window and sometimes he'd see the streets and lights of Seoul streaking past him in a blur of vibrancy and chaos and other times he'd see the world leaving him behind with his memories and his unanswered questions, forgetting and advancing with a speed too cruel and rapid for Wooyoung to imitate. His breath would fog up the glass and block it from his sight and shortly afterwards they'd arrive at some radio station or filming set and he'd return to functioning on auto-pilot, hunching his shoulders against the cold and watchful gazes.
Wooyoung would lock his door and search up Jaebum's name all over the internet, and yet he'd still hover, reluctant, over whatever video that's popped up or another article that's been written and submitted. And then either Junsu or Junho would bang on his door and tell him that they've got another schedule or that they're going out for dinner tonight and he'd have to open his door before one of them gets it into their head to knock it down.
Wooyoung wonders if he's the only one that still remembers Jaebum. He wonders if he's the only one that lies awake at night, wide-eyed and breathless because he's just awoken from a dream that striked a little too close to the heart. He's frustrated because he doesn't know what they're all thinking anymore, how they're all coping, what they're feeling and if they're as confused and lost as he is. He barely sees Taecyeon because of his overstuffed schedule and Junho's constantly training for Dream Team like he thinks about nothing else and Wooyoung's got his own programs to practice and film.
He doesn't have the time and he's not sure if he wants it anyway. It's easier not to speak up.
One night Nichkhun pulls Wooyoung to the side and asks him, "Wooyoung, what's up with you? You've been acting depressed lately and none of the members know what's going on and you haven't been telling us anything."
"I'm just tired," Wooyoung tries the excuse. "With the album jacket shoots and win win and all that."
"Bullshit," Nichkhun says and Wooyoung is tempted to comment about Nichkhun's angelic and pure image but wisely holds his tongue. "Everyone's tired, Wooyoung, but no one's losing their measly hours of sleep over it. Either you've got some terminal illness that you're hiding from us or something's been seriously bothering you."
Wooyoung thinks that overreacting and defensiveness might save him from possible confrontation but he's tired of feeling like shit all the time so he says, "I've been thinking about Jaebum-hyung. And i'm not depressed. And I've been trying to be assertive like you guys, I really am."
Nichkhun gives a great sigh and Wooyoung feels as if he's being treated like a kid. "Is that why you've been giving dead fish eyes to everyone you see?" He ignores Wooyoung's feeble protest. "What happened, Woo? Jaebum-hyung left months ago, Wooyoung-ah. And will acting like this help?"
"Aren't you all forgetting him?" Wooyoung accuses but immediately feels foolish saying it aloud. "Aren't you all leaving him behind?"
"We're not forgetting him, Wooyoung," Nichkhun says gently. "That's impossible." Wooyoung feels a twinge of shame. "Everyone's lost sleep over this more than once. Everyone's felt like crap because of this. I used to call Jaebum-hyung every single day afterwards and Junho holed himself up in his and Jaebum-hyung's room for weeks. Did you notice all that? I had no idea what everyone else thought of the situation. I even thought I had to call him in secret because I thought Jinyoung-hyung or Minjae-hyung would stop me and try to make everyone forget. There was even that conspiracy about locking down sites and articles about Jaebum-hyung." Nichkhun shrugs. "I still don't even know if it was true or not. But no one's trying to leave Jaebum-hyung behind. He's carved too big of a hole in our lives for that to happen. We called him a lot after he left. Except you always disappeared or said you had a schedule whenever we did it. Don't you know how worried he's been?" Nichkhun waits a little for the guilt to sink in and begins to feel bad so he pats Wooyoung on the shoulder and continues. "So call him. Just once, even. If you can't do at least that you'll never get over this."
What if I don't want to get over it, Wooyoung wants to say. What if I don't want to leave this behind? "I'll try," he says instead. "I'll try."
"Great," Nichkhun drops his serious expression and hands Wooyoung the phone. He sees Wooyoung staring at it incredulously and only shrugs nonchalantly. "Hey. You were stressing over it so much."
"You knew all along," Wooyoung tells him. "You knew from the start."
"At least you knew enough to admit it," Nichkhun reciprocates. "I thought I'd have to explain everything to you but it looks like you're smart enough to figure most of it out for yourself." He shows his trademark smile and gives Wooyoung a shove on the shoulder. "I think you can take care of yourself now."
Wooyoung wants to thank him, he wants to say a lot of things but he feels as if he'll burst at the seams if he tries to begin so he just nods wordlessly.
Wooyoung's always been slow to forgive and forget.
One day Wooyoung picks up the phone and dials in the first number he thinks of and listens to a familiar dial tone and it's still all too soon when he's greeted with a tired "hello", as if Jaebum expects another twenty-second call filled with nothing but silent, controlled breathing and Wooyoung feels guilty for taking all this time and is prepared to cut the connection (again) because he's chickened out (again) before Jaebum shouts, "Wait! Wait, Wooyoung, is that you? I recognize your breathing patterns!"
Wooyoung freezes, because he doesn't expect it and he's put on the spot but he responds slowly and carefully, "Yeah. Hyung. It's me."
Jaebum laughs (and Wooyoung's jolted back into reality to hear the sound because he hasn't heard it in months - or was it years? - and he realizes he's been under the impression that everyone is as miserable as him) and says, "God, I thought that it had been a fan that tracked down my number and was leaving all those creepy breathing messages on the phone. You don't know how paranoid I got, man."
Wooyoung is a little shaken at how easily conversation flows and is content to sit and listen to Jaebum talk about AOM and his b-boy buddies and how radio stations pester still him for interviews and updates in his clumsy, dusty Korean.
When Jaebum pauses to take a breath, Wooyoung says, "Your Korean sucks. Its state is almost worse than what it was when you first arrived. I miss you. We all do." It's everything compressed into four simple sentences and he doesn't know if it's enough to get the message through but it's Jaebum, it's their leader, so it should, because it always has.
"Wooyoung-ah," Jaebum says, after a while. "You finally called and the first things you notice are my language skills?"
"Hyung." Wooyoung deadpans. "Are you listening to me?"
"I am," Jaebum tells him. "I am. I know, Wooyoung-ah. I felt like shit too, I thought I was going to feel like that forever ever since I came back to seattle." He coughs awkwardly and Wooyoung pictures him rubbing the back of his neck. "I've never been good at this. Heartfelt confessions and all. It was like this when the rest of the group rang me up for a reunion type thing. But life goes on, Wooyoung. I missed you guys like crazy, you don't even know. I still do, you know? But I'm done. I'm better suited here than up on the big stage. It's always been different, it always will."
"But you're the leader, hyung," Wooyoung says and he feels as if he's clutching at strings. "Who's going to be the leader now?"
"Taecyeon's doing a pretty good job over there," Jaebum comments. "And every one of you has a place to fulfill. There are more important things than being leader, you know. There's the whole team and their dynamics. Age didn't even matter over there." Wooyoung wants to say that's because that's how they operated, that was the theme.
"Jaebum-hyung." Wooyoung repeats.
"Look, Wooyoung," Jaebum says. "I know one phone call won't help all that much. So I expect loads more, alright? I still haven't made fun of you guys for the cheerleading zombie concept in heartbeat yet. And how Taecyeon's taking all the credit for the shirt-ripping trend. Chin up, Wooyoung-ah. What time is it now? Huh?"
"Shut up, hyung," Wooyoung tells him. "It's 2pm, duh." He feels himself falling back into the old, cliched schedule. There's the appearance of new additions and the disappearance of old ones and he knows he's not going to accept it easily. Maybe it'll come with time.
"That wasn't so hard," Jaebum scoffs. "Work your ass off on your comeback single. I heard Taecyeon's English skills are rusty. Rustier than my Korean? I'll work on it. Keep it up, Wooyoung. Fighting."
Wooyoung would look out the window and watch the streetlights rush by him and turn back to the members, tired and exhausted. But it'd all be worth it.
Backstage, minutes before their comeback stage and the deafening screaming and applauding is echoing in their ears and through their bloodstreams and half of them feel like throwing up because nothing ever goes exactly according to plan, Jaebum's voice comes filtering through the dodgy connection and the distance is there, the differences are apparent but Jaebum still asks them, "what time is it now?" and for a moment, it feels unnervingly, comfortingly familiar.
And they'd answer.
a/n: lmao, I must have unknowingly squeezed a little of my otp into there. ♥ I was suffering writer's block so I did this. :/ it's not great. And it was supposed to be < 200 words ;A;
2pm: jaebum/wooyoung bromance
prompt: phone
pg-13
2026 words
break the pattern
Every time Wooyoung picks up the phone he'll dial in the first number that comes to mind. He knows it's not good to leave overseas calls hanging, but he'll still be left speechless whenever he hears a frightening familiar "hello" or occasional "yoboseyo" which just cuts that much deeper. Sometimes the recipient will realize his mistake and switch to english hastily with a sheepish cough and Wooyoung will slam the phone back onto its cradle with shaking fingers and an ache that claws at him from the inside. Maybe he's just not ready.
Not yet.
Wooyoung would sit with his back against the training room's mirrored wall and think about Jaebum. Jaebum. Because that's all he seems capable of doing nowadays. He'll remember how it was ironically the oldest one out of all of them who was the most inexperienced at expressing his emotions or that early period of culture shock that made Jaebum irritable almost every single day or when they were backstage just before their debut, their very first live performance, and Wooyoung could feel his heart thumping right against the bars of his ribcage and wondering if years of training would be justified or disappear in a terrifying blunder of stage fright, and Jaebum hadn't even prepared a lengthy speech (there wasn't enough time for one, anyway) but just looked each of them in the eye and asked "what time is it now?"
He remembers Taecyeon making some sarcastic comment on how that was prepared for their second album (if they had one, but no one liked pondering that possibility) but the effect was ruined by his shaking voice.
They answered anyway.
In twenty-five minutes or so Chansung would stumble through the door with two cups of instant ramyun and his usual eyebags that reached all the way down to his chin and Wooyoung would drag himself to his feet. It had almost become a game, to see if Taecyeon would pile into the van with them or if he would collapse of exhaustion and running on nothing but caffeine seventeen hours a day, but he eventually folded himself into the cramped confines of the vehicle silently and wordlessly. Wooyoung feels unjust for himself, these members, sometimes. How did they end up like this?
Wooyoung would look out the window and sometimes he'd see the streets and lights of Seoul streaking past him in a blur of vibrancy and chaos and other times he'd see the world leaving him behind with his memories and his unanswered questions, forgetting and advancing with a speed too cruel and rapid for Wooyoung to imitate. His breath would fog up the glass and block it from his sight and shortly afterwards they'd arrive at some radio station or filming set and he'd return to functioning on auto-pilot, hunching his shoulders against the cold and watchful gazes.
Wooyoung would lock his door and search up Jaebum's name all over the internet, and yet he'd still hover, reluctant, over whatever video that's popped up or another article that's been written and submitted. And then either Junsu or Junho would bang on his door and tell him that they've got another schedule or that they're going out for dinner tonight and he'd have to open his door before one of them gets it into their head to knock it down.
Wooyoung wonders if he's the only one that still remembers Jaebum. He wonders if he's the only one that lies awake at night, wide-eyed and breathless because he's just awoken from a dream that striked a little too close to the heart. He's frustrated because he doesn't know what they're all thinking anymore, how they're all coping, what they're feeling and if they're as confused and lost as he is. He barely sees Taecyeon because of his overstuffed schedule and Junho's constantly training for Dream Team like he thinks about nothing else and Wooyoung's got his own programs to practice and film.
He doesn't have the time and he's not sure if he wants it anyway. It's easier not to speak up.
One night Nichkhun pulls Wooyoung to the side and asks him, "Wooyoung, what's up with you? You've been acting depressed lately and none of the members know what's going on and you haven't been telling us anything."
"I'm just tired," Wooyoung tries the excuse. "With the album jacket shoots and win win and all that."
"Bullshit," Nichkhun says and Wooyoung is tempted to comment about Nichkhun's angelic and pure image but wisely holds his tongue. "Everyone's tired, Wooyoung, but no one's losing their measly hours of sleep over it. Either you've got some terminal illness that you're hiding from us or something's been seriously bothering you."
Wooyoung thinks that overreacting and defensiveness might save him from possible confrontation but he's tired of feeling like shit all the time so he says, "I've been thinking about Jaebum-hyung. And i'm not depressed. And I've been trying to be assertive like you guys, I really am."
Nichkhun gives a great sigh and Wooyoung feels as if he's being treated like a kid. "Is that why you've been giving dead fish eyes to everyone you see?" He ignores Wooyoung's feeble protest. "What happened, Woo? Jaebum-hyung left months ago, Wooyoung-ah. And will acting like this help?"
"Aren't you all forgetting him?" Wooyoung accuses but immediately feels foolish saying it aloud. "Aren't you all leaving him behind?"
"We're not forgetting him, Wooyoung," Nichkhun says gently. "That's impossible." Wooyoung feels a twinge of shame. "Everyone's lost sleep over this more than once. Everyone's felt like crap because of this. I used to call Jaebum-hyung every single day afterwards and Junho holed himself up in his and Jaebum-hyung's room for weeks. Did you notice all that? I had no idea what everyone else thought of the situation. I even thought I had to call him in secret because I thought Jinyoung-hyung or Minjae-hyung would stop me and try to make everyone forget. There was even that conspiracy about locking down sites and articles about Jaebum-hyung." Nichkhun shrugs. "I still don't even know if it was true or not. But no one's trying to leave Jaebum-hyung behind. He's carved too big of a hole in our lives for that to happen. We called him a lot after he left. Except you always disappeared or said you had a schedule whenever we did it. Don't you know how worried he's been?" Nichkhun waits a little for the guilt to sink in and begins to feel bad so he pats Wooyoung on the shoulder and continues. "So call him. Just once, even. If you can't do at least that you'll never get over this."
What if I don't want to get over it, Wooyoung wants to say. What if I don't want to leave this behind? "I'll try," he says instead. "I'll try."
"Great," Nichkhun drops his serious expression and hands Wooyoung the phone. He sees Wooyoung staring at it incredulously and only shrugs nonchalantly. "Hey. You were stressing over it so much."
"You knew all along," Wooyoung tells him. "You knew from the start."
"At least you knew enough to admit it," Nichkhun reciprocates. "I thought I'd have to explain everything to you but it looks like you're smart enough to figure most of it out for yourself." He shows his trademark smile and gives Wooyoung a shove on the shoulder. "I think you can take care of yourself now."
Wooyoung wants to thank him, he wants to say a lot of things but he feels as if he'll burst at the seams if he tries to begin so he just nods wordlessly.
Wooyoung's always been slow to forgive and forget.
One day Wooyoung picks up the phone and dials in the first number he thinks of and listens to a familiar dial tone and it's still all too soon when he's greeted with a tired "hello", as if Jaebum expects another twenty-second call filled with nothing but silent, controlled breathing and Wooyoung feels guilty for taking all this time and is prepared to cut the connection (again) because he's chickened out (again) before Jaebum shouts, "Wait! Wait, Wooyoung, is that you? I recognize your breathing patterns!"
Wooyoung freezes, because he doesn't expect it and he's put on the spot but he responds slowly and carefully, "Yeah. Hyung. It's me."
Jaebum laughs (and Wooyoung's jolted back into reality to hear the sound because he hasn't heard it in months - or was it years? - and he realizes he's been under the impression that everyone is as miserable as him) and says, "God, I thought that it had been a fan that tracked down my number and was leaving all those creepy breathing messages on the phone. You don't know how paranoid I got, man."
Wooyoung is a little shaken at how easily conversation flows and is content to sit and listen to Jaebum talk about AOM and his b-boy buddies and how radio stations pester still him for interviews and updates in his clumsy, dusty Korean.
When Jaebum pauses to take a breath, Wooyoung says, "Your Korean sucks. Its state is almost worse than what it was when you first arrived. I miss you. We all do." It's everything compressed into four simple sentences and he doesn't know if it's enough to get the message through but it's Jaebum, it's their leader, so it should, because it always has.
"Wooyoung-ah," Jaebum says, after a while. "You finally called and the first things you notice are my language skills?"
"Hyung." Wooyoung deadpans. "Are you listening to me?"
"I am," Jaebum tells him. "I am. I know, Wooyoung-ah. I felt like shit too, I thought I was going to feel like that forever ever since I came back to seattle." He coughs awkwardly and Wooyoung pictures him rubbing the back of his neck. "I've never been good at this. Heartfelt confessions and all. It was like this when the rest of the group rang me up for a reunion type thing. But life goes on, Wooyoung. I missed you guys like crazy, you don't even know. I still do, you know? But I'm done. I'm better suited here than up on the big stage. It's always been different, it always will."
"But you're the leader, hyung," Wooyoung says and he feels as if he's clutching at strings. "Who's going to be the leader now?"
"Taecyeon's doing a pretty good job over there," Jaebum comments. "And every one of you has a place to fulfill. There are more important things than being leader, you know. There's the whole team and their dynamics. Age didn't even matter over there." Wooyoung wants to say that's because that's how they operated, that was the theme.
"Jaebum-hyung." Wooyoung repeats.
"Look, Wooyoung," Jaebum says. "I know one phone call won't help all that much. So I expect loads more, alright? I still haven't made fun of you guys for the cheerleading zombie concept in heartbeat yet. And how Taecyeon's taking all the credit for the shirt-ripping trend. Chin up, Wooyoung-ah. What time is it now? Huh?"
"Shut up, hyung," Wooyoung tells him. "It's 2pm, duh." He feels himself falling back into the old, cliched schedule. There's the appearance of new additions and the disappearance of old ones and he knows he's not going to accept it easily. Maybe it'll come with time.
"That wasn't so hard," Jaebum scoffs. "Work your ass off on your comeback single. I heard Taecyeon's English skills are rusty. Rustier than my Korean? I'll work on it. Keep it up, Wooyoung. Fighting."
Wooyoung would look out the window and watch the streetlights rush by him and turn back to the members, tired and exhausted. But it'd all be worth it.
Backstage, minutes before their comeback stage and the deafening screaming and applauding is echoing in their ears and through their bloodstreams and half of them feel like throwing up because nothing ever goes exactly according to plan, Jaebum's voice comes filtering through the dodgy connection and the distance is there, the differences are apparent but Jaebum still asks them, "what time is it now?" and for a moment, it feels unnervingly, comfortingly familiar.
And they'd answer.
a/n: lmao, I must have unknowingly squeezed a little of my otp into there. ♥ I was suffering writer's block so I did this. :/ it's not great. And it was supposed to be < 200 words ;A;