02. (onkey) surprise!
title: surprise!!
author: allyouhaveisme
pairing: onkey! mild heechul/taem because they are adorable.
genre: crack, mild fluff.
wordcount: 4667
rating: PG
Taemin is sitting in the living room of the SHINee dorm, minding his own business in the form of a video game (it’s the weekend, give him a break) when the doorbell rings.
This is rather strange, because everybody’s home, and the only person who ever checks in on them is Manager-hyung, who is currently away on a holiday (something about dealing with hyperactive idols doing things to his brain). As such, the only person who could be at their door was....a mystery! Taemin was delighted at this prospect. Mysteries are exciting.
The polite silence at the door which says “I am waiting for you to open the door” had long outlived its duration, and was now succeeded by a repeated series of ringing. He pauses his game, gets to his feet, and bounds merrily to the door in all his eternal cheeriness. When at the door, Taemin contemplates peeping through the peephole to find out who’s there, but then he realises that wouldn’t be any fun. Instead, he counts to three in his head, flinging the door open in a flourish.
“Surprise!!!!” he shouts, beaming merrily. When he receives no reply, Taemin cracks open an eye experimentally, to stare at the visitor.
He takes in neat hair, a slightly evilly amused expression, a suit, and the air of one of the nation’s established pretty-boys.
“Heechul-hyung!” Quick to please as ever, he greets with a slight bow. Then he cannot help but let his curiosity get the better of him.
“...What are you doing here?”
Heechul merely smiles secretively like he knows something Taemin doesn’t - - which he probably does, because he is dying from curiosity and Heechul seems like he’s still doing fine.
“I’m here to intrude on your dorm, of course!” Ah. That would explain the sleeping bag slung over his back.
It’s probably not very polite to say no, reflects Taemin, and anyway, Heechul-hyung is quite a fun guy. “Okay, hyung, come on right in!”
A pleased, catty smile makes its way over Heechul’s pretty face. “I thought you’d never ask.”
-
Heechul is probably no stranger to dorm-crashing, because he’s made himself welcome in the living room, rooted through their food stores, and claimed the couch as his in two minutes flat. Taemin sits on the floor, staring at this strange sunbae of his in vague amusement.
“Hyung, if you don’t mind my asking....why are you here, again?”
Heechul looks annoyed at having to tear his eyes away from the TV screen. “I told you, to intrude on your dorm.” He resumes flicking through the channel selection.
“But...why?”
Sighing, he puts down the remote, and eyes Taemin in mild distaste, like he is sizing him up.
“Because I have a mission, dearest SHINee maknae Taemin. And you are going to help me in my little quest.”
If it were raining outside, the maknae was sure it would have thundered ominously. However, the day was suspiciously cheery, so all he got was a few birds chirping.
“...what is it?”
A dark cloud casts itself over the older’s face. His eyes gleam in pure evil. “To make your hyungs’ lives a living hell.”
Taemin sweats. The birds outside chirp some more.
-
“So,” Heechul says, for all the world an officer briefing his soldier for a vital mission, “We will watch television together.”
Taemin nods intelligently. “And?”
“What do you mean and? I told you, we’re going to watch television together.”
The intelligent nodding stops, and a frown replaces the sagely look of understanding on his face. “Buuuuut....why?”
Heechul thinks for a bit, before saying, eventually, “It’s a surprise!”
Taemin shrugs. He can do with surprises.
So the two of them settle down on the couch (Heechul, as gracious as ever, allots Taemin some space) and watch one of those ridiculous variety shows where their fellow idols attempt to win each other in silly games and end up embarrassing themselves.
At first it is a teeny bit awkward, but then Heechul lets out a snort and then breaks into a laugh at some antic or the other, and then Taemin is grateful to follow suit, the two of them end up making a terrible scene out of themselves, laughing at the television set.
Inevitably, somebody is alerted. Minho comes out of a room from studying at the same time Jonghyun comes out of their bedroom, shouting in annoyance, “Yah, Taemin, what are you making so much noise for?”
Upon seeing the intruder, the two stop, and exchange a Look. Then they freeze as they hear footsteps; Key’s characteristic semi-shaved head comes into view as he flips his hair in annoyance. “My dearest son, what on earth is with that terrible racket?”
Then his eyes settle upon Heechul, smirking in satisfaction, and his jaw drops. “Heechul-hyung! What - what are you doing in our dorm?”
“Your maknae let me in!” comes the cheery response, complete with smiling eyes and all.
“Taemin?” Key’s gaze turns to said member of the boy band, who smiles sweetly in response.
He looks from Heechul to Taemin, then to Heechul, then to Taemin again. Then his expression morphs into one of utmost despair, as he begins to wail. Minho and Jonghyun, taking this as their cue to leave, sprint for the door in unison.
Onew, however, comes out at this junction, looking like a lost duck. “I heard something, guys, is anything -” He is cut off as Key throws himself against the leader in his sorrow. “Ah! Key! You seem very sad! Why are you so sad? Being sad isn’t good, do you want some chic - -”
Finishing sentences is not on Onew’s list of achievements today, as he is repeatedly drowned out by the younger’s proclamations that his son was “being corrupted and whatever will I do?”. He is not quite sure to react to this, and settles instead for patting Key’s back awkwardly.
“There there,” he says mechanically, palms beginning to sweat, “it’s not that bad! I mean, it’s just Heechul-hyung, right, I’m sure Taeminnie needs some other friends apart from us sometimes. It could be worse, what if it was a gi-”
Key withdraws himself sharply, and dabs delicately at his eyes, which have narrowed considerably. “What. Are you saying we are not good company. I take great offence at this.” With this, he sweeps dramatically out of the room, leaving behind a bemused Onew, smirking Heechul, and bored Taemin.
“I don’t get the fuss,” says Heechul merrily, “You’d think he didn’t want me here, or something.”
Taemin shrugs in kind. “I don’t get it either.” Then he turns towards the unmoving, standing figure. “Onew-hyung, do you wanna join us in watching these variety shows? Can you believe, they make them do stupid things like attempt to kick each other off a pole while hanging onto it. Hah.”
Onew blinks once, slowly, then another time. “I’m confused,” he manages, before turning around slowly and making his way back into the room.
Heechul dismisses this odd behaviour with a wave of his hand, and digs around in his pocket for a bit. “Want some gum?”
Taemin takes some, and begins to chew on it. “Phfanks.”
“Your hyungs are so weird, you know.”
He receives a brilliant smile. “Shumbuddy emphfafizes!” Taemin exalts, throwing his arms into the air.
Heechul ruffles his hair.
-
Later that night, Jonghyun and Minho are back, but they have taken to creeping around the house instead of actually confronting anybody. Their reasoning is as such: Heechul is kind of strange, Taemin’s taken to hanging out with said guy, Key’s probably a bit unsound at the moment, and Onew’s still confused. So the two of them are pretty much the only normal ones left.
Key is cooking dinner in the kitchen, having adopted a rather shaky composure after sulking for several hours. Jonghyun enters this zone cautiously. “Eh, Key, is dinner done? I’ll help you call everyone...or something.”
A resentful sniff is heard in reply. “Yes, and call -- that person too if you absolutely must.” He stirs the soup. “Not that he’s corrupting my son, or anything.” His speech degenerates into a mumble.
“...Okay,” the vocalist knows better than to remark on Key’s odd behaviour. He retreats from the kitchen, then goes about his task of calling everyone.
Dinner is awkward, because there is an atmosphere of awkwardness that cannot be shaken off despite how much Taemin giggles unstoppably at Heechul’s snarky comments. Jonghyun decides to keep quiet, Minho is as silent as he always is, and Onew prods Key carefully as he senses the beginning of a slump.
After the meal is over Key turns to Onew and cries about how Heechul is taking Taemin away from them and Taemin has never bothered to laugh at Key’s snarky comments. Onew wants to remark that his “son” does, in fact, but Key is too busy being snarky to realise. He settles for making weird soothing noises. “It’s okaaay, Key, he’s still your son, right, Heechul-hyung isn’t going to kidna-”
Key’s head snaps up instantly, eyes dilating in paranoia. “He had better not.” Then his tone turns accusing. “And aren’t you his appa? His welfare isn’t just my business, you know, it’s yours too. How can you just stand there and watch all of this happen? And now I’m going to do the dishes. Without your help. How does anybody live without me around here?” - Key leaves no space for the leader to say anything as he proceeds to deal with the cutlery.
Onew is sad. He decides it’s probably because he hasn’t been able to complete a single statement all day.
-
“Umma, Heechul-hyung and I are going to be in the room playing video games, okay?” Without waiting for a response, Taemin is gone, and Key blinks mournfully, soapy hands pausing movement.
“Don’t you have homework to do, young man?!” he yells.
He thinks he can vaguely hear an annoyed grunt - outrageous, his Taeminnie has never been so rude to him before! before he hears a “I did it all yesterday!”. Right, it was Sunday. It wasn’t his fault he’d forgotten everything because of the terror being wreaked upon his household.
Then it comes to him. A slow, creeping fear that sank into his feet and climbed up to his knees, working its way to his gut and seeping deep into his heart. Where was Heechul going to sleep?
Quick as a flying fox on coffee, Key dries the dish, sets it neatly against the dish rack, and fairly speeds towards the bedroom.
Taemin is in the middle of showing Heechul that he could beat his highscore in Super Mario when the door slams open, causing him to jump in surprise, letting Mario knock himself on a turtle and die. Mournfully, he turns to the doorway.
“What was that for, hyung?”
“Where is that - - I mean, he, gonna sleep?”
“What, Heechul-hyung? He’s got a sleeping bag, so probably in this room or something. At most on our couch.”
Heechul interjects. “But what if it’s cold on the couch and my sleeping bag is too hard?”
Taemin doesn’t skip a beat. “Then you can share my bed! I have plenty of space!”
“Really? Ah, Taeminnie, you’re the best.” The two share a warm bonding gaze of mutual appreciation. Key watches on in terror as his youngest chick, not even old enough to learn how to fly, is being seized by the big bad eagle. And did he just call him Taeminnie? Only Key was allowed to call him that! Atrocious! THIS MUST BE STOPPED.
“No!!!!” Two creepily identical heads turn to face Key questioningly. “Eh, what I mean to say is - Taeminnie is still growing, see, and...hyung, not to be offensive, but you’re tall and well built -” Heechul nods appreciatively- “and you might accidentally squish Taeminnie in all your ...manliness when you sleep. So maybe it’s not a good idea.”
“Ah, that does have some sense to it,” concludes Taemin, who still wants to grow a few cm more. Just so he can laugh at Jonghyun-hyung. “Then where will Heechul-hyung sleep?”
On the floor, outside our house, Key wants to growl, but instead he smiles sweetly. “He can take over someone’s bed and that person will share bed with someone else!”
“But whose?”
“It’s obviously gonna be...uh...” Key is at a loss. Nobody ever wants to share beds with Jonghyun because of his strange sleep-singing habits. Minho is so huge, he barely fits into a bed on his own. That leaves... “Onew-hyung! I’m sure he won’t mind. Being a leader means he has to make sacrifices, right?”
“Okay,” Taemin nods good-naturedly, “That seems reasonable. But then where will hyung sleep?”
Heechul cuts in merrily, as he is wont to do. “He’ll share bed with you, then! You won’t mind, right? Ah great, that’s settled! Off you go! Go, go!”
Key lets himself be shoved out of the room before it sinks in.
“What!?”
-
When the childish duo are done playing video games, Heechul happily leaps into Key’s bed and sits up, drawing the blankets around himself so only his eyes show. Taemin giggles, finding it hilarious, and copies him. The two cackle at their own antics, then, and then they hear footsteps at the door. Quickly they quieten down without needing any signaling at all.
As if slow-motion, the door opens. Key steps in, followed closely by Onew. Immediately the pranksters leap up at the same time, screaming as they wiggle their arms. Key’s reaction is instant: he shrieks and stumbles backwards into the older boy, who barely catches him about the waist.
“Ah, Kibum, are you okay?” Onew asks worriedly, hefting him back up onto his feet and patting his head worriedly.
Flustered, the boy in mention smooths his hair and his shirt, and when he stops shaking, he breathes deeply, obviously still a bit messed up. But instead of scolding them like they thought he would, Key only squints in annoyance at them, and makes his way past them to sit on Onew’s bed. Onew follows meekly.
“Taemin-ah, Heechul-hyung, you shouldn’t have done that,” he admonishes gently. They grin at him with only the mildest hint of guilt in their features, and Taemin scrambles out of his bed to join Heechul so the two of them can hold a hushed conversation.
Key mumbles something about blankets and crazy sunbaes and frazzled nerves into Onew’s neck, leaning against him like it’s perfectly natural. He’s obviously tired from all the spazzing he’s done throughout the day, and the leader, being the good hyung that he is, nervously pats his head.
Jonghyun comes in just then, opening the door and peeking around warily before he dares to step in. Minho follows suit. The two make their way to their own beds, and exchange a confused glance at their relocated leader, as well as at the fact that their maknae and sunbae appeared to be plotting world domination on Onew’s bed.
The dinosaur cautiously ventures a “Hey, guys, what’s up?” and an awkward wave. Instantly four sets of eyes are upon him, while Minho only twitches uncomfortably as if feeling sorry. Then Taemin turns and whispers something to Heechul, who nods, and turns to gesture Jonghyun and Minho over.
The lead singer looks at the rapper as if to ask what he should do. He is met with a barely perceptible shrug and head gesture towards the other side, where Key was still griping into Onew’s collarbone. Demented duo or crying chums? He decides on the former.
Heechul smiles pleasantly at them when they come over, and gestures at them to sit down. Then he leans closer. “‘How would you two like to help Taemin and me make your umma and appa’s lives hard?”
Minho looks as if he’s about to disagree, while Jonghyun consents immediately. “Anything to annoy Kibum,” he adds, as a means of explanation, grinning.
“Why, though?” asks Minho, finding this whole thing rather suspicious.
Heechul wiggles his eyebrows a bit. “It’s for their own good. A surprise.”
Key spares the four of them a suspicious glance, then, looking for all the world like he knew. But that, Heechul knew, was impossible, because if Key really knew what he knew, he knew Key wouldn’t be just sitting there. Heechul knew a lot of things. He also doubted Onew knew, which was the whole reason for his plan in the first place. Heechul cackles out loud to himself for his hilarious abuse of the word “knew” in his train of thought.
Minho coughs, Jonghyun grins appreciatively, and Taemin plays with his toes.
“Key says you should all go to sleep now,” voices Onew, “we have schedules tomorrow. And -” here he bends to listen to Key’s mumblings - “Heechul-hyung, don’t you have schedules as well?”
The person in question chooses to ignore this remark, deciding instead to whisper into Jonghyun’s ear as he hands out earplugs.
The four secretively plug their ears and return to their respective beds. Key grumpily turns out the lights before crawling into bed next to Onew. He pokes the tofu-boy gruffly, telling him to “move over”, which he does, and wiggles awkwardly into the space. He proceeds to lie there, feeling strangely uncomfortable, and figures Onew feels the same. He casts a glance sideways nervously, to find the leader’s already staring directly at him.
And then the dinosaur began to sing.
Sounding as if he really is sleep-singing (he can’t hear himself, after all, thanks to the earplugs), Jonghyun begins to croon a tune they know all too well.
“Caaaaaan, you feeeeeeeeel, the loooooooove, toniiiiiiiiight?” Conveniently, Key suddenly realises how adorable Onew is, giving him that trademark gummy smile under the moonlight.
“It is wheeeeereeee we...aaaaaaaaaaare” Where were they? In the same bed. Oh, right...Was Onew holding on to his hand? Yes, yes he was.
Jonghyun’s voice seems to grow softer as Onew, ridiculous as ever, begins to mouth the words and wave their joined hands exaggeratedly, making him smile despite himself.
Sooner or later, though, Key’s slight giggles cease as the second oldest of their group manages to softly draw the song (in what they think is his sleep) to a close.
“There’s a rhyme and reason to the wild outdoors,
when the heart of this star crossed voyager beats in time with yours.”
Then Onew is looking at him with an unreadable expression in his eyes - he doesn’t know quite what to make of it, but thankfully, Jonghyun lets out a snort at that exact moment, turning over in his sleep. Key makes use of this small distraction to release their joined hands and turn away from Onew, yawning as if he’s really tired.
“Goodnight, hyung,” he mumbles, wondering why his face feels kind of red.
Onew blinks, confused, and does not answer.
-
The next morning they awake to what is most likely the weirdest sight they have ever seen. Minho - Choi Minho - Flaming Charisma Choi Minho, the guy who took several months before he even started talking around them, is galloping around the room a la cowboy in Texas, hollering “SURPRISE!!!! Wake up, everybody! Waaaake up!”
Onew gapes, rubbing his eyes in disbelief, tugging Key awake. “Key, Key, look at this!”
Key blearily gets up, squinting at Minho before it registers, and a look of utmost horror takes over his face, his jaw falling open in shock. Seeing this, the rapper immediately turns and gallops out of the room. And as if it isn’t bad enough, Jonghyun, Taemin and Heechul suddenly spring out from their beds and gallop straight out of the room, leaving the two “parents” bewildered on the bed.
Onew shuffles awkwardly as he always does, and helpfully nudges Key’s mouth closed. “You don’t want flies going in, eh?”
The sad attempt at a joke is missed as Key morosely worms out of the bed and into the bathroom.
-
There is, Key decides, definitely something going on. The moment the two enter the kitchen, Heechul, Jonghyun, Minho and Taemin all start whispering to each other, shift to one side of the table, and shun Key and Onew, pretending they don’t see them there. At least Minho’s relatively back to normal, though, even if he is still wearing a cowboy hat.
When they’re done they leave for their schedules, leaving Heechul alone in the dorm. Key is visibly worried about this, muttering suspiciously to Onew about how he might corrupt their living area simply by being in it, alone, for a few hours. While doing this, he misses the wink Jonghyun slyly sends Heechul’s way.
He does, however, get a bit of an uneasy feeling when the Super Junior member gives them a brilliant, cheesy grin at the door, waving robotically until they’re out of sight before going back into the house.
As the five go down and get into the car, it seems like they’re back to being relatively normal. Minho is stoic as ever, smiling a bit only when Onew tells another stupid joke. Jonghyun snickers, and slings a friendly arm around Key, messing his hair up on purpose. Taemin sits on Key’s other side, dutifully allowing himself to be mothered over.
He lets down his guard, and as Taemin acts cute, he doesn’t notice the maknae sneakily showing Minho and Jonghyun a thumbs up while letting his hair be messed up. Phase 1 complete.
-
They’re shooting for a commercial, so the personalities come on in front of the cameras. During the breaks, though, Onew slumps into a chair and semi-dozes off, the exhaustion from his musical (amongst other things) getting to him. Suffice to say, he isn’t exactly at his best.
When they’re done and released, he decides to lean into a chair while waiting for the others to finish doing whatever it is they’re doing, like look at the results of their hard work. At the moment he doesn’t really care, choosing instead to get some shut-eye.
Minho almost feels sorry for what they’re about to do to him.
“Hyung,” Onew hears, and cracks open an eye sleepily. “Can you pass this to Key?” He takes the proffered cup of iced water, confused. “Thanks, he’s just over there.” Minho gestures to the subject, who is talking to their stylist just a few meters away, before disappearing.
Being the good leader that he is, Onew gets up and is making his way towards Key before he finds somebody has tied his laces together sloppily, causing them to tighten on each other after a few steps and causing him to trip. He barely saves himself from falling, but as he looks up he realises, in horror, that he has emptied a large amount of the cup of water onto Key’s face.
“What,” Key bites out, face drenched, speaking through the water dripping down his face, “Is your problem?”
Onew thinks vaguely to himself that he always looks pretty, even when droplets are cascading down his features, his hair sopping a bit.
“Uh...I don’t know?” he offers helplessly, “Minho passed that to me, and said something about you, and so I was gonna give it to you, but somehow my laces, um, they wanted to hug each other, so they did and I didn’t realise it so maybe I tripped or something and...your face is wet,” he finishes lamely.
Key takes a very deep breath. “Just when I think everybody’s back to normal,” he enunciates slowly, “You have to go and piss me off. Seriously?”
He turns and storms off to change, and Onew feels ridiculously small, still confused about what exactly happened.
Taemin comes over then, and tsks (apologetically, for the laces, but it’s not like Onew knows) at the mess, sitting down next to him. “Hyung, you are such a mess.”
Brown eyes turn sorrowfully upon him in reply. “Kibum haaaaaaates me now!”
The group’s baby pats him soothingly on the shoulder. “No he doesn’t, he’s just angry. He’ll get over it!”
“Eh, Taem, let’s go!” Jonghyun calls, slinging his bag on one shoulder, Minho walking behind him.
“Okay, just a minute!” he shouts back, then turns back to their leader. “Sorry, hyung, I gotta go. Heechul hyung wants to show us this cool cafe or something. See you later!” He stands up, waves, and runs off.
Onew sits there blankly, staring at his shoes, until Key comes back from the toilet.
“Where’re the rest?” he asks testily, neglecting to even greet Onew.
“...they ran away.”
“...”
“Do you...uh..want to go now?”
He gets a derisive snort in return, and looks up to see Key is already stalking off. Onew scrambles up to follow.
Hiding behind a pillar, Jonghyun grins just a bit evilly. Phase 2? Easily done.
-
Taemin dials Heechul’s number on his phone, puts it on speaker, and waits.
“I’m brilliaaaaant!” blasts out of the phone all of a sudden, with no regard whatsoever for normality.
“Yes, of course,” hums the oldest of the trio patronizingly, “but so are we. Phase 2 is complete, hyung.”
“Oho? Well done, well done! I’m actually on my way there already, so when I get there we can leave and go get ice cream and coffee and celebrate our brilliance together!”
“And is Phase 3 complete?” cuts in Minho, business-like as ever.
“It has been laid! Now we can only wait! And you can only wait, too, actually, I’m nearly there.”
“...See you in a bit!”
“Brilliant One, out!”
They hang up, and head downstairs to the lobby, humming Ring Ding Dong aimlessly.
-
“I’m going into the room.” Key leaves no space for argument, angrily kicking off his shoes and making a beeline for said place. Onew follows helplessly, but the door is slammed in his face. The sound of a light switch turning on follows, then a gasp, as the door suddenly opens again. The Key who faces him is the complete opposite of the Key who had just slammed the door a few moments prior.
His face is lit up entirely with sheer joy, and he embraces Onew. “I forgive you!” he exclaims, nearly giggling into his shoulder with happiness. Onew blinks, peers into their room, and silently thanks the sky for its bountiful blessings.
The room has been rigged up with a gigantic “I’M SORRY!” banner, and decorated with pretty pictures of Key everywhere. In the middle is a pile of his favourite foods, all wrapped in pink.
“How did you manage to do this? I mean, I went in before you and all! I mean, yeah, now that I think about it, it was kind of silly of me to get so angry over something small, and I’m sure you didn’t mean it because you’re always like that, but it’s still pretty amazing that you managed all of that and I.” Key stops rambling, feeling a bit self-conscious because Onew is staring at him weirdly.
Then Onew leans forward and pecks him shyly on the lips, at which he lets out a small shriek at first, but finds himself leaning back in for more.
“SURPRISE!” Heechul, Taemin, Minho and Jonghyun pop out of nowhere, waving their hands, frightening the two out of their wits so they jump away from each other in shock. Key looks positively annoyed, while Onew just grins sheepishly. Then they realise the four intruders are staring at them expectantly.
“...What?” asks the diva, crossly.
Jonghyun, helpfully, offers a “Get a room.”
“Fine!” Key drags Onew into the joint bedroom, shutting the door and locking it. The scheming quad stare at each other, then the oldest shrugs happily, choosing to break the silence. “How about that ice cream now?”
A chorus of agreement resounds, and so they parade out of the dorm, leaving Onew and Key to their own devices.
Unsurprisingly, everybody was happy that day.
(4667 words!)
Happy birthday Key <3 ILU!
Also, this goes out to callmemin , who wanted Heechul. And crack.
I hope you enjoyed
author: allyouhaveisme
pairing: onkey! mild heechul/taem because they are adorable.
genre: crack, mild fluff.
wordcount: 4667
rating: PG
Taemin is sitting in the living room of the SHINee dorm, minding his own business in the form of a video game (it’s the weekend, give him a break) when the doorbell rings.
This is rather strange, because everybody’s home, and the only person who ever checks in on them is Manager-hyung, who is currently away on a holiday (something about dealing with hyperactive idols doing things to his brain). As such, the only person who could be at their door was....a mystery! Taemin was delighted at this prospect. Mysteries are exciting.
The polite silence at the door which says “I am waiting for you to open the door” had long outlived its duration, and was now succeeded by a repeated series of ringing. He pauses his game, gets to his feet, and bounds merrily to the door in all his eternal cheeriness. When at the door, Taemin contemplates peeping through the peephole to find out who’s there, but then he realises that wouldn’t be any fun. Instead, he counts to three in his head, flinging the door open in a flourish.
“Surprise!!!!” he shouts, beaming merrily. When he receives no reply, Taemin cracks open an eye experimentally, to stare at the visitor.
He takes in neat hair, a slightly evilly amused expression, a suit, and the air of one of the nation’s established pretty-boys.
“Heechul-hyung!” Quick to please as ever, he greets with a slight bow. Then he cannot help but let his curiosity get the better of him.
“...What are you doing here?”
Heechul merely smiles secretively like he knows something Taemin doesn’t - - which he probably does, because he is dying from curiosity and Heechul seems like he’s still doing fine.
“I’m here to intrude on your dorm, of course!” Ah. That would explain the sleeping bag slung over his back.
It’s probably not very polite to say no, reflects Taemin, and anyway, Heechul-hyung is quite a fun guy. “Okay, hyung, come on right in!”
A pleased, catty smile makes its way over Heechul’s pretty face. “I thought you’d never ask.”
-
Heechul is probably no stranger to dorm-crashing, because he’s made himself welcome in the living room, rooted through their food stores, and claimed the couch as his in two minutes flat. Taemin sits on the floor, staring at this strange sunbae of his in vague amusement.
“Hyung, if you don’t mind my asking....why are you here, again?”
Heechul looks annoyed at having to tear his eyes away from the TV screen. “I told you, to intrude on your dorm.” He resumes flicking through the channel selection.
“But...why?”
Sighing, he puts down the remote, and eyes Taemin in mild distaste, like he is sizing him up.
“Because I have a mission, dearest SHINee maknae Taemin. And you are going to help me in my little quest.”
If it were raining outside, the maknae was sure it would have thundered ominously. However, the day was suspiciously cheery, so all he got was a few birds chirping.
“...what is it?”
A dark cloud casts itself over the older’s face. His eyes gleam in pure evil. “To make your hyungs’ lives a living hell.”
Taemin sweats. The birds outside chirp some more.
-
“So,” Heechul says, for all the world an officer briefing his soldier for a vital mission, “We will watch television together.”
Taemin nods intelligently. “And?”
“What do you mean and? I told you, we’re going to watch television together.”
The intelligent nodding stops, and a frown replaces the sagely look of understanding on his face. “Buuuuut....why?”
Heechul thinks for a bit, before saying, eventually, “It’s a surprise!”
Taemin shrugs. He can do with surprises.
So the two of them settle down on the couch (Heechul, as gracious as ever, allots Taemin some space) and watch one of those ridiculous variety shows where their fellow idols attempt to win each other in silly games and end up embarrassing themselves.
At first it is a teeny bit awkward, but then Heechul lets out a snort and then breaks into a laugh at some antic or the other, and then Taemin is grateful to follow suit, the two of them end up making a terrible scene out of themselves, laughing at the television set.
Inevitably, somebody is alerted. Minho comes out of a room from studying at the same time Jonghyun comes out of their bedroom, shouting in annoyance, “Yah, Taemin, what are you making so much noise for?”
Upon seeing the intruder, the two stop, and exchange a Look. Then they freeze as they hear footsteps; Key’s characteristic semi-shaved head comes into view as he flips his hair in annoyance. “My dearest son, what on earth is with that terrible racket?”
Then his eyes settle upon Heechul, smirking in satisfaction, and his jaw drops. “Heechul-hyung! What - what are you doing in our dorm?”
“Your maknae let me in!” comes the cheery response, complete with smiling eyes and all.
“Taemin?” Key’s gaze turns to said member of the boy band, who smiles sweetly in response.
He looks from Heechul to Taemin, then to Heechul, then to Taemin again. Then his expression morphs into one of utmost despair, as he begins to wail. Minho and Jonghyun, taking this as their cue to leave, sprint for the door in unison.
Onew, however, comes out at this junction, looking like a lost duck. “I heard something, guys, is anything -” He is cut off as Key throws himself against the leader in his sorrow. “Ah! Key! You seem very sad! Why are you so sad? Being sad isn’t good, do you want some chic - -”
Finishing sentences is not on Onew’s list of achievements today, as he is repeatedly drowned out by the younger’s proclamations that his son was “being corrupted and whatever will I do?”. He is not quite sure to react to this, and settles instead for patting Key’s back awkwardly.
“There there,” he says mechanically, palms beginning to sweat, “it’s not that bad! I mean, it’s just Heechul-hyung, right, I’m sure Taeminnie needs some other friends apart from us sometimes. It could be worse, what if it was a gi-”
Key withdraws himself sharply, and dabs delicately at his eyes, which have narrowed considerably. “What. Are you saying we are not good company. I take great offence at this.” With this, he sweeps dramatically out of the room, leaving behind a bemused Onew, smirking Heechul, and bored Taemin.
“I don’t get the fuss,” says Heechul merrily, “You’d think he didn’t want me here, or something.”
Taemin shrugs in kind. “I don’t get it either.” Then he turns towards the unmoving, standing figure. “Onew-hyung, do you wanna join us in watching these variety shows? Can you believe, they make them do stupid things like attempt to kick each other off a pole while hanging onto it. Hah.”
Onew blinks once, slowly, then another time. “I’m confused,” he manages, before turning around slowly and making his way back into the room.
Heechul dismisses this odd behaviour with a wave of his hand, and digs around in his pocket for a bit. “Want some gum?”
Taemin takes some, and begins to chew on it. “Phfanks.”
“Your hyungs are so weird, you know.”
He receives a brilliant smile. “Shumbuddy emphfafizes!” Taemin exalts, throwing his arms into the air.
Heechul ruffles his hair.
-
Later that night, Jonghyun and Minho are back, but they have taken to creeping around the house instead of actually confronting anybody. Their reasoning is as such: Heechul is kind of strange, Taemin’s taken to hanging out with said guy, Key’s probably a bit unsound at the moment, and Onew’s still confused. So the two of them are pretty much the only normal ones left.
Key is cooking dinner in the kitchen, having adopted a rather shaky composure after sulking for several hours. Jonghyun enters this zone cautiously. “Eh, Key, is dinner done? I’ll help you call everyone...or something.”
A resentful sniff is heard in reply. “Yes, and call -- that person too if you absolutely must.” He stirs the soup. “Not that he’s corrupting my son, or anything.” His speech degenerates into a mumble.
“...Okay,” the vocalist knows better than to remark on Key’s odd behaviour. He retreats from the kitchen, then goes about his task of calling everyone.
Dinner is awkward, because there is an atmosphere of awkwardness that cannot be shaken off despite how much Taemin giggles unstoppably at Heechul’s snarky comments. Jonghyun decides to keep quiet, Minho is as silent as he always is, and Onew prods Key carefully as he senses the beginning of a slump.
After the meal is over Key turns to Onew and cries about how Heechul is taking Taemin away from them and Taemin has never bothered to laugh at Key’s snarky comments. Onew wants to remark that his “son” does, in fact, but Key is too busy being snarky to realise. He settles for making weird soothing noises. “It’s okaaay, Key, he’s still your son, right, Heechul-hyung isn’t going to kidna-”
Key’s head snaps up instantly, eyes dilating in paranoia. “He had better not.” Then his tone turns accusing. “And aren’t you his appa? His welfare isn’t just my business, you know, it’s yours too. How can you just stand there and watch all of this happen? And now I’m going to do the dishes. Without your help. How does anybody live without me around here?” - Key leaves no space for the leader to say anything as he proceeds to deal with the cutlery.
Onew is sad. He decides it’s probably because he hasn’t been able to complete a single statement all day.
-
“Umma, Heechul-hyung and I are going to be in the room playing video games, okay?” Without waiting for a response, Taemin is gone, and Key blinks mournfully, soapy hands pausing movement.
“Don’t you have homework to do, young man?!” he yells.
He thinks he can vaguely hear an annoyed grunt - outrageous, his Taeminnie has never been so rude to him before! before he hears a “I did it all yesterday!”. Right, it was Sunday. It wasn’t his fault he’d forgotten everything because of the terror being wreaked upon his household.
Then it comes to him. A slow, creeping fear that sank into his feet and climbed up to his knees, working its way to his gut and seeping deep into his heart. Where was Heechul going to sleep?
Quick as a flying fox on coffee, Key dries the dish, sets it neatly against the dish rack, and fairly speeds towards the bedroom.
Taemin is in the middle of showing Heechul that he could beat his highscore in Super Mario when the door slams open, causing him to jump in surprise, letting Mario knock himself on a turtle and die. Mournfully, he turns to the doorway.
“What was that for, hyung?”
“Where is that - - I mean, he, gonna sleep?”
“What, Heechul-hyung? He’s got a sleeping bag, so probably in this room or something. At most on our couch.”
Heechul interjects. “But what if it’s cold on the couch and my sleeping bag is too hard?”
Taemin doesn’t skip a beat. “Then you can share my bed! I have plenty of space!”
“Really? Ah, Taeminnie, you’re the best.” The two share a warm bonding gaze of mutual appreciation. Key watches on in terror as his youngest chick, not even old enough to learn how to fly, is being seized by the big bad eagle. And did he just call him Taeminnie? Only Key was allowed to call him that! Atrocious! THIS MUST BE STOPPED.
“No!!!!” Two creepily identical heads turn to face Key questioningly. “Eh, what I mean to say is - Taeminnie is still growing, see, and...hyung, not to be offensive, but you’re tall and well built -” Heechul nods appreciatively- “and you might accidentally squish Taeminnie in all your ...manliness when you sleep. So maybe it’s not a good idea.”
“Ah, that does have some sense to it,” concludes Taemin, who still wants to grow a few cm more. Just so he can laugh at Jonghyun-hyung. “Then where will Heechul-hyung sleep?”
On the floor, outside our house, Key wants to growl, but instead he smiles sweetly. “He can take over someone’s bed and that person will share bed with someone else!”
“But whose?”
“It’s obviously gonna be...uh...” Key is at a loss. Nobody ever wants to share beds with Jonghyun because of his strange sleep-singing habits. Minho is so huge, he barely fits into a bed on his own. That leaves... “Onew-hyung! I’m sure he won’t mind. Being a leader means he has to make sacrifices, right?”
“Okay,” Taemin nods good-naturedly, “That seems reasonable. But then where will hyung sleep?”
Heechul cuts in merrily, as he is wont to do. “He’ll share bed with you, then! You won’t mind, right? Ah great, that’s settled! Off you go! Go, go!”
Key lets himself be shoved out of the room before it sinks in.
“What!?”
-
When the childish duo are done playing video games, Heechul happily leaps into Key’s bed and sits up, drawing the blankets around himself so only his eyes show. Taemin giggles, finding it hilarious, and copies him. The two cackle at their own antics, then, and then they hear footsteps at the door. Quickly they quieten down without needing any signaling at all.
As if slow-motion, the door opens. Key steps in, followed closely by Onew. Immediately the pranksters leap up at the same time, screaming as they wiggle their arms. Key’s reaction is instant: he shrieks and stumbles backwards into the older boy, who barely catches him about the waist.
“Ah, Kibum, are you okay?” Onew asks worriedly, hefting him back up onto his feet and patting his head worriedly.
Flustered, the boy in mention smooths his hair and his shirt, and when he stops shaking, he breathes deeply, obviously still a bit messed up. But instead of scolding them like they thought he would, Key only squints in annoyance at them, and makes his way past them to sit on Onew’s bed. Onew follows meekly.
“Taemin-ah, Heechul-hyung, you shouldn’t have done that,” he admonishes gently. They grin at him with only the mildest hint of guilt in their features, and Taemin scrambles out of his bed to join Heechul so the two of them can hold a hushed conversation.
Key mumbles something about blankets and crazy sunbaes and frazzled nerves into Onew’s neck, leaning against him like it’s perfectly natural. He’s obviously tired from all the spazzing he’s done throughout the day, and the leader, being the good hyung that he is, nervously pats his head.
Jonghyun comes in just then, opening the door and peeking around warily before he dares to step in. Minho follows suit. The two make their way to their own beds, and exchange a confused glance at their relocated leader, as well as at the fact that their maknae and sunbae appeared to be plotting world domination on Onew’s bed.
The dinosaur cautiously ventures a “Hey, guys, what’s up?” and an awkward wave. Instantly four sets of eyes are upon him, while Minho only twitches uncomfortably as if feeling sorry. Then Taemin turns and whispers something to Heechul, who nods, and turns to gesture Jonghyun and Minho over.
The lead singer looks at the rapper as if to ask what he should do. He is met with a barely perceptible shrug and head gesture towards the other side, where Key was still griping into Onew’s collarbone. Demented duo or crying chums? He decides on the former.
Heechul smiles pleasantly at them when they come over, and gestures at them to sit down. Then he leans closer. “‘How would you two like to help Taemin and me make your umma and appa’s lives hard?”
Minho looks as if he’s about to disagree, while Jonghyun consents immediately. “Anything to annoy Kibum,” he adds, as a means of explanation, grinning.
“Why, though?” asks Minho, finding this whole thing rather suspicious.
Heechul wiggles his eyebrows a bit. “It’s for their own good. A surprise.”
Key spares the four of them a suspicious glance, then, looking for all the world like he knew. But that, Heechul knew, was impossible, because if Key really knew what he knew, he knew Key wouldn’t be just sitting there. Heechul knew a lot of things. He also doubted Onew knew, which was the whole reason for his plan in the first place. Heechul cackles out loud to himself for his hilarious abuse of the word “knew” in his train of thought.
Minho coughs, Jonghyun grins appreciatively, and Taemin plays with his toes.
“Key says you should all go to sleep now,” voices Onew, “we have schedules tomorrow. And -” here he bends to listen to Key’s mumblings - “Heechul-hyung, don’t you have schedules as well?”
The person in question chooses to ignore this remark, deciding instead to whisper into Jonghyun’s ear as he hands out earplugs.
The four secretively plug their ears and return to their respective beds. Key grumpily turns out the lights before crawling into bed next to Onew. He pokes the tofu-boy gruffly, telling him to “move over”, which he does, and wiggles awkwardly into the space. He proceeds to lie there, feeling strangely uncomfortable, and figures Onew feels the same. He casts a glance sideways nervously, to find the leader’s already staring directly at him.
And then the dinosaur began to sing.
Sounding as if he really is sleep-singing (he can’t hear himself, after all, thanks to the earplugs), Jonghyun begins to croon a tune they know all too well.
“Caaaaaan, you feeeeeeeeel, the loooooooove, toniiiiiiiiight?” Conveniently, Key suddenly realises how adorable Onew is, giving him that trademark gummy smile under the moonlight.
“It is wheeeeereeee we...aaaaaaaaaaare” Where were they? In the same bed. Oh, right...Was Onew holding on to his hand? Yes, yes he was.
Jonghyun’s voice seems to grow softer as Onew, ridiculous as ever, begins to mouth the words and wave their joined hands exaggeratedly, making him smile despite himself.
Sooner or later, though, Key’s slight giggles cease as the second oldest of their group manages to softly draw the song (in what they think is his sleep) to a close.
“There’s a rhyme and reason to the wild outdoors,
when the heart of this star crossed voyager beats in time with yours.”
Then Onew is looking at him with an unreadable expression in his eyes - he doesn’t know quite what to make of it, but thankfully, Jonghyun lets out a snort at that exact moment, turning over in his sleep. Key makes use of this small distraction to release their joined hands and turn away from Onew, yawning as if he’s really tired.
“Goodnight, hyung,” he mumbles, wondering why his face feels kind of red.
Onew blinks, confused, and does not answer.
-
The next morning they awake to what is most likely the weirdest sight they have ever seen. Minho - Choi Minho - Flaming Charisma Choi Minho, the guy who took several months before he even started talking around them, is galloping around the room a la cowboy in Texas, hollering “SURPRISE!!!! Wake up, everybody! Waaaake up!”
Onew gapes, rubbing his eyes in disbelief, tugging Key awake. “Key, Key, look at this!”
Key blearily gets up, squinting at Minho before it registers, and a look of utmost horror takes over his face, his jaw falling open in shock. Seeing this, the rapper immediately turns and gallops out of the room. And as if it isn’t bad enough, Jonghyun, Taemin and Heechul suddenly spring out from their beds and gallop straight out of the room, leaving the two “parents” bewildered on the bed.
Onew shuffles awkwardly as he always does, and helpfully nudges Key’s mouth closed. “You don’t want flies going in, eh?”
The sad attempt at a joke is missed as Key morosely worms out of the bed and into the bathroom.
-
There is, Key decides, definitely something going on. The moment the two enter the kitchen, Heechul, Jonghyun, Minho and Taemin all start whispering to each other, shift to one side of the table, and shun Key and Onew, pretending they don’t see them there. At least Minho’s relatively back to normal, though, even if he is still wearing a cowboy hat.
When they’re done they leave for their schedules, leaving Heechul alone in the dorm. Key is visibly worried about this, muttering suspiciously to Onew about how he might corrupt their living area simply by being in it, alone, for a few hours. While doing this, he misses the wink Jonghyun slyly sends Heechul’s way.
He does, however, get a bit of an uneasy feeling when the Super Junior member gives them a brilliant, cheesy grin at the door, waving robotically until they’re out of sight before going back into the house.
As the five go down and get into the car, it seems like they’re back to being relatively normal. Minho is stoic as ever, smiling a bit only when Onew tells another stupid joke. Jonghyun snickers, and slings a friendly arm around Key, messing his hair up on purpose. Taemin sits on Key’s other side, dutifully allowing himself to be mothered over.
He lets down his guard, and as Taemin acts cute, he doesn’t notice the maknae sneakily showing Minho and Jonghyun a thumbs up while letting his hair be messed up. Phase 1 complete.
-
They’re shooting for a commercial, so the personalities come on in front of the cameras. During the breaks, though, Onew slumps into a chair and semi-dozes off, the exhaustion from his musical (amongst other things) getting to him. Suffice to say, he isn’t exactly at his best.
When they’re done and released, he decides to lean into a chair while waiting for the others to finish doing whatever it is they’re doing, like look at the results of their hard work. At the moment he doesn’t really care, choosing instead to get some shut-eye.
Minho almost feels sorry for what they’re about to do to him.
“Hyung,” Onew hears, and cracks open an eye sleepily. “Can you pass this to Key?” He takes the proffered cup of iced water, confused. “Thanks, he’s just over there.” Minho gestures to the subject, who is talking to their stylist just a few meters away, before disappearing.
Being the good leader that he is, Onew gets up and is making his way towards Key before he finds somebody has tied his laces together sloppily, causing them to tighten on each other after a few steps and causing him to trip. He barely saves himself from falling, but as he looks up he realises, in horror, that he has emptied a large amount of the cup of water onto Key’s face.
“What,” Key bites out, face drenched, speaking through the water dripping down his face, “Is your problem?”
Onew thinks vaguely to himself that he always looks pretty, even when droplets are cascading down his features, his hair sopping a bit.
“Uh...I don’t know?” he offers helplessly, “Minho passed that to me, and said something about you, and so I was gonna give it to you, but somehow my laces, um, they wanted to hug each other, so they did and I didn’t realise it so maybe I tripped or something and...your face is wet,” he finishes lamely.
Key takes a very deep breath. “Just when I think everybody’s back to normal,” he enunciates slowly, “You have to go and piss me off. Seriously?”
He turns and storms off to change, and Onew feels ridiculously small, still confused about what exactly happened.
Taemin comes over then, and tsks (apologetically, for the laces, but it’s not like Onew knows) at the mess, sitting down next to him. “Hyung, you are such a mess.”
Brown eyes turn sorrowfully upon him in reply. “Kibum haaaaaaates me now!”
The group’s baby pats him soothingly on the shoulder. “No he doesn’t, he’s just angry. He’ll get over it!”
“Eh, Taem, let’s go!” Jonghyun calls, slinging his bag on one shoulder, Minho walking behind him.
“Okay, just a minute!” he shouts back, then turns back to their leader. “Sorry, hyung, I gotta go. Heechul hyung wants to show us this cool cafe or something. See you later!” He stands up, waves, and runs off.
Onew sits there blankly, staring at his shoes, until Key comes back from the toilet.
“Where’re the rest?” he asks testily, neglecting to even greet Onew.
“...they ran away.”
“...”
“Do you...uh..want to go now?”
He gets a derisive snort in return, and looks up to see Key is already stalking off. Onew scrambles up to follow.
Hiding behind a pillar, Jonghyun grins just a bit evilly. Phase 2? Easily done.
-
Taemin dials Heechul’s number on his phone, puts it on speaker, and waits.
“I’m brilliaaaaant!” blasts out of the phone all of a sudden, with no regard whatsoever for normality.
“Yes, of course,” hums the oldest of the trio patronizingly, “but so are we. Phase 2 is complete, hyung.”
“Oho? Well done, well done! I’m actually on my way there already, so when I get there we can leave and go get ice cream and coffee and celebrate our brilliance together!”
“And is Phase 3 complete?” cuts in Minho, business-like as ever.
“It has been laid! Now we can only wait! And you can only wait, too, actually, I’m nearly there.”
“...See you in a bit!”
“Brilliant One, out!”
They hang up, and head downstairs to the lobby, humming Ring Ding Dong aimlessly.
-
“I’m going into the room.” Key leaves no space for argument, angrily kicking off his shoes and making a beeline for said place. Onew follows helplessly, but the door is slammed in his face. The sound of a light switch turning on follows, then a gasp, as the door suddenly opens again. The Key who faces him is the complete opposite of the Key who had just slammed the door a few moments prior.
His face is lit up entirely with sheer joy, and he embraces Onew. “I forgive you!” he exclaims, nearly giggling into his shoulder with happiness. Onew blinks, peers into their room, and silently thanks the sky for its bountiful blessings.
The room has been rigged up with a gigantic “I’M SORRY!” banner, and decorated with pretty pictures of Key everywhere. In the middle is a pile of his favourite foods, all wrapped in pink.
“How did you manage to do this? I mean, I went in before you and all! I mean, yeah, now that I think about it, it was kind of silly of me to get so angry over something small, and I’m sure you didn’t mean it because you’re always like that, but it’s still pretty amazing that you managed all of that and I.” Key stops rambling, feeling a bit self-conscious because Onew is staring at him weirdly.
Then Onew leans forward and pecks him shyly on the lips, at which he lets out a small shriek at first, but finds himself leaning back in for more.
“SURPRISE!” Heechul, Taemin, Minho and Jonghyun pop out of nowhere, waving their hands, frightening the two out of their wits so they jump away from each other in shock. Key looks positively annoyed, while Onew just grins sheepishly. Then they realise the four intruders are staring at them expectantly.
“...What?” asks the diva, crossly.
Jonghyun, helpfully, offers a “Get a room.”
“Fine!” Key drags Onew into the joint bedroom, shutting the door and locking it. The scheming quad stare at each other, then the oldest shrugs happily, choosing to break the silence. “How about that ice cream now?”
A chorus of agreement resounds, and so they parade out of the dorm, leaving Onew and Key to their own devices.
Unsurprisingly, everybody was happy that day.
(4667 words!)
Happy birthday Key <3 ILU!
Also, this goes out to callmemin , who wanted Heechul. And crack.
I hope you enjoyed