my current outlook on life
so i am back from california which was fun.
went to an 8th grade graduation which was more crazed than my hs graduation but if you really wanna know about those crazed parents just ask and ill tell you what happened
i spent half the time there on the phone with my dad who was keeping me up to date with the happenings back here in michigan
its been a tough week for my family (my dads side)
my grandma has diabetes and long story short due to an infection and bad circulation she had to have one of her legs amputated...
after the operation she was freaking out left and right and was trying to tear off her bandages while in recovery so my family wasnt able to see her until a while after and once they did it wasnt easy
she was hallucinating and didnt make any sense
she kept dreaming and was convinced that there was some government conspiracy but yeah i wont go into the details of her dreams
anyway the doctors saw that the infection was spreading and thought that it had gotten to her brain causing these hallucinations so next thing we knew the family got called into a meeting where it was decided off with the other leg... the following day
and there i was in california taking phone call after phone call with all these updates
when it was time to leave cali and say goodbye to my grandparents (on my moms side) i found myself crying...
ive always known that you shouldnt take things for granted bc you never know when they will be taken away from you but the whole situation with my grandma and not knowing what was going to happen made saying goodbye to these grandparents harder for me
1) bc you never know what might happen when youre not there and when it will be "their time"
2) my grandma gave me a hug while i was saying goodbye and whispered into my ear to go and give my other grandma a hug when i saw her from her... that i didnt need to say anything... to just hug her and she would understand ... once she said that i lost it... tears started flowing and my family just looked at me in awe bc im usually not emotional saying goodbyes and they had no clue why i was so emotional then
i got back yesterday and went to visit my grandma (dads side) and it was good to see her...
she had a "bad" day the day before
i talked to my uncle who was there when we got there and he told us how my grandma was convinced that my dad had engineered her new air bed and that two of my uncles had built it... which wasnt the case at all...
but as soon as i went over to her where she could see me and said hi grandma and gave her a hug and kiss we started talking.
and while this may not seem like a big thing to everyone else this was big for me.
she recognized who i was... knew that i had been in california, had a conversation about the view from this room (she switched rooms while i was in cali) and how she was feeling about everything. we talked about how she really had no idea what half the stuff drs. were testing her was for, but how she just went with it anyway bc clearly there were reasons for this test and that test...
i looked at her "legs" and found that they look nothing like i had invisioned... it was weird but comforting at the same time bc they werent as scary as i had thought and she seemed ok with it.
the whole visit was a relief for me.
i think im going to visit her more and more...
until last year i never had an "adult" conversation with her talking about things she did when she was my age... we had so many common interests that i never knew of.
i had originally planned on taking her to go see wicked this coming saturday but since she cant go ... ill still have fun but it wont be the same... but if you really wanna know about that you can ask
pretty much this was just me letting out the things that had been going through my mind lately... being alone in my dads office gives me time to actually write entries like this.
either way im back from cali and ready to start new.
my grandma said something last night about how she never realized how important it was to work her feet and legs until she had to have them taken away... and like a trigger in my brain i finally found my motivation to force myself to get a constant work out routine going and eat right... bc the chances of me going through what she is if i dont start doing that is very likely ... and in a way i feel as though it would be an insult to her to not learn from her lesson and take what ive learned from her to make a difference in my life
went to an 8th grade graduation which was more crazed than my hs graduation but if you really wanna know about those crazed parents just ask and ill tell you what happened
i spent half the time there on the phone with my dad who was keeping me up to date with the happenings back here in michigan
its been a tough week for my family (my dads side)
my grandma has diabetes and long story short due to an infection and bad circulation she had to have one of her legs amputated...
after the operation she was freaking out left and right and was trying to tear off her bandages while in recovery so my family wasnt able to see her until a while after and once they did it wasnt easy
she was hallucinating and didnt make any sense
she kept dreaming and was convinced that there was some government conspiracy but yeah i wont go into the details of her dreams
anyway the doctors saw that the infection was spreading and thought that it had gotten to her brain causing these hallucinations so next thing we knew the family got called into a meeting where it was decided off with the other leg... the following day
and there i was in california taking phone call after phone call with all these updates
when it was time to leave cali and say goodbye to my grandparents (on my moms side) i found myself crying...
ive always known that you shouldnt take things for granted bc you never know when they will be taken away from you but the whole situation with my grandma and not knowing what was going to happen made saying goodbye to these grandparents harder for me
1) bc you never know what might happen when youre not there and when it will be "their time"
2) my grandma gave me a hug while i was saying goodbye and whispered into my ear to go and give my other grandma a hug when i saw her from her... that i didnt need to say anything... to just hug her and she would understand ... once she said that i lost it... tears started flowing and my family just looked at me in awe bc im usually not emotional saying goodbyes and they had no clue why i was so emotional then
i got back yesterday and went to visit my grandma (dads side) and it was good to see her...
she had a "bad" day the day before
i talked to my uncle who was there when we got there and he told us how my grandma was convinced that my dad had engineered her new air bed and that two of my uncles had built it... which wasnt the case at all...
but as soon as i went over to her where she could see me and said hi grandma and gave her a hug and kiss we started talking.
and while this may not seem like a big thing to everyone else this was big for me.
she recognized who i was... knew that i had been in california, had a conversation about the view from this room (she switched rooms while i was in cali) and how she was feeling about everything. we talked about how she really had no idea what half the stuff drs. were testing her was for, but how she just went with it anyway bc clearly there were reasons for this test and that test...
i looked at her "legs" and found that they look nothing like i had invisioned... it was weird but comforting at the same time bc they werent as scary as i had thought and she seemed ok with it.
the whole visit was a relief for me.
i think im going to visit her more and more...
until last year i never had an "adult" conversation with her talking about things she did when she was my age... we had so many common interests that i never knew of.
i had originally planned on taking her to go see wicked this coming saturday but since she cant go ... ill still have fun but it wont be the same... but if you really wanna know about that you can ask
pretty much this was just me letting out the things that had been going through my mind lately... being alone in my dads office gives me time to actually write entries like this.
either way im back from cali and ready to start new.
my grandma said something last night about how she never realized how important it was to work her feet and legs until she had to have them taken away... and like a trigger in my brain i finally found my motivation to force myself to get a constant work out routine going and eat right... bc the chances of me going through what she is if i dont start doing that is very likely ... and in a way i feel as though it would be an insult to her to not learn from her lesson and take what ive learned from her to make a difference in my life