Two Inconvenient Loves
Title: Two Inconvenient Loves
Pairing: onesided!Hanchul, Heechul/OC
Rating: PG, ANGSTY LIKE HELL
Summary: Heechul's story, post-disbandment.
In the end he does find a girl. She is smart, funny, and kind. She's American and despite her somewhat accented Korean, sasses him right back. (Heechul tries not to let it remind him of another accented voice. This one is different. It isn't as soft or melodic and she loses the accent after a couple more years anyways.) She also understands that she is not the one he loves but she loves him enough not to give him hell over it.
On their wedding day Hangeng is there. Heechul curses mentally. Of course he is there. There is no reason for him not to be, but it still hurts. He hides it well though. Not for nothing is he among the best actors in Korea. It pains him that Hangeng can no longer see through his mask.
She can see through it though and that makes him wonder if he could have loved her, under different circumstances. He knows she sees through it because Hangeng pulls him aside at one point (How fast his heart starts beating at that and how fast it stills again with the first two words out of the chinaman's mouth.) and asks him, "Your wife, have I done something to offend her? She doesn't seem to like me very much." Heechul has noticed the cold demeanor and clipped phrases his wife directed at Hangeng. When he pulled her aside to ask her why, her response is simple. “He makes you sad.”
Heechul can hardly tell Hangeng the truth, so he smiles and says it's probably jealousy since "You are my best friend after all." That's a lie though. The Hangeng, no Hankyung, who once was his best friend, could tell when he was lying. It's obvious to Heechul that it isn't the same Geng anymore because this Geng’s response is to smile and look relieved.
Heechul doesn't know how he makes it through the rest of the wedding banquet, he's so close to crying. The only thing that keeps him from breaking down is her hand on the small of his back, reminding him that there is someone else who understands.
The first night of their honeymoon is spent in tears. Heechul feels like a bastard for doing this to her but he can't stop the tears. They are overflowing, streaming down his face and soaking into the pillows. He whispers 'sorry' over and over again.
Sorry to Geng because he had been a bitch to him and regretted it now. Sorry to himself because maybe, just maybe this could have been different if he'd worked up the courage to say something, anything. Sorry to his wife because all things considered, she has been magnificent and deserves someone much, much better than him.
This last apology he forces out between dry sobs. She comes over and gathers him up in her arms. Rubbing comforting circles on his back, she begins to sing. It's in French, the song, so he doesn't understand the words but the meaning is clear. He is forgiven.
He falls asleep to her singing and when they wake up in the morning he looks her full in the eyes and promises that if she ever, ever falls in love with anyone else, he will let her go without protest. It is, to say the least, a bizarre thing to promise one's wife on their honeymoon but as always, she understands.
They move to America after a few years. She is missing her country, has been missing it for a while. It's not obvious, at least to the others, but Heechul doesn't miss the sad smiles that appear on her face, more often that they used to.
She's a little like Hangeng in that way. Despite having lived abroad for most of her life and spending at least three quarters of that time in Korea, she still considers the country of her birth home. Even though Hollywood is on the opposite side of the continent from the place she was raised, it's good enough for her. (Heechul doesn't have a home, hasn't had one for over fifteen years now. He lost his home when he lost Hankyung.)
Heechul has always wanted to act in Hollywood anyways. It's different, acting in America. Actors are treated the same as idols are in Korea and the first time he steps onto the red carpet, cameras flashing, paparazzi jostling, and fans screaming, he can't help but look around for the other fourteen people that he expects to be at his side. (Old habits die hard.)
He looks but the only person he sees is his wife. She is smiling brightly but it doesn't quite reach her eyes. As always, she understands. He gathers himself and then they sweep across the red carpet together.
He wonders sometimes, why he couldn't have met her earlier. It would have saved them both a lot of pain, he figures. He wouldn't be still pining for someone who is now halfway around the world and she wouldn't be harboring a decade old unrequited love. He mentions this to her once but she merely looks at him then shrugs. Turning back to her book, she says, "I wouldn't have fallen in love with you if that was what happened."
Life is really unfair sometimes, Heechul decides.
A/N: Herp a derp. First Suju fic. Don’t kill me. Comments are love.