One day MBLAQ got a new gender. Many, many unhappy.
Title: One day MBLAQ got a new gender. Many, many unhappy.
Pairing: Joonho, ninja!Junseung
Rating: PG
Summary: Mir's chill, G.O.'s happy, and everyone else hates it.
It's been nearly a two and a half years since MBLAQ's debuted and in retrospect, Mir figures they should have seen this one coming. It wasn't like every single one of their sunbaes hadn't warned them about it. Even so, it was still a shock when he woke up one morning to loud shrieking from G.O. about "OH MY GOD THERE ARE BOOBS AND WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO ABOUT THIS SOMEONE GET MANGER HYUNG AND NO JOON I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU'RE DOING WITH SEUNGHO JUST GET OUT OF THE BATHROOM." Mir cracks an eye open to see what all the fuss about and immediately scrambles backwards, alarmed by G.O.'s maniac expression.
Thunder stumbles in from his room across the hall and the minute he sees Mir, his jaw drops. Before he can run out of the room, G.O. grabs him and drags him to the bedside. "You stay here while I get manager hyung," he commands. Thunder just nods slowly, a blank expression on his face. Mir decides it's time he learns what all the fuss is about and begins to ask. The moment Mir starts speaking the question is answered. His voice is about two octaves higher than before and glancing down, he sees that yes he does actually have boobs. Mir stays calm. If what their sunbaes have been saying is true, it should wear off sooner or later. Preferably sooner.
Curious, Mir gets up to check his new body out. Turns out that aside from softer features and the acquisition of some curves, he doesn't look that much different from when (s)he was a boy. G.O. is yelling at Joon and Seungho to get out of the bathroom and Mir learns some things about the two he'd rather not know. Although he may have to remember about that one kink if he ever wants to blackmail Joon. Apparently they do manage to get out the bathroom and out of the dorm to find help, if the quieting of the dorm is anything to go by.
Mir wanders back into his room to find Thunder looking pointedly at the floor. She realizes the problem and goes to find G.O. "G.O. Hyun- I mean oppa?" G.O. looks immensely uncomfortable at the new honorific and Mir makes a note to use oppa as often as she can. As maknae, opportunities to tease his hyungs-that-are-now-oppas are few and far between. "I need clothes. Nothing I have will fit," she says gesturing at his chest. "Can I go shopping?"
G.O. begins to stammers out something resembling a yes but then Joon and Seungho come back with manager-sshi, Key, and Junhyung. Key has been deemed the most appropriate choice to deal with something that involves a girl and Junhyung is mostly there to laugh at Seungho. Their manager is shocked but the Key is ecstatic about the chance to shop. He drags Mir out shopping and outfits him in very bright and very tight clothing. When he returns to the dorm, Mir immediately changes back into sweatpants and a T-shirt. The change lasts about a week and she uses it as a well deserved break, playing video games most of the time and messing with his hyungs/oppas the rest of the time. Mir's time as a girl is pretty uneventful and he's almost sad when he changes back since it's now back to MBLAQ's regular grueling schedule. Apparently this 'condition' respects Korea's age hierarchy because Thunder is the second to be changed.
Thunder's change involves way more time spent out of the dorm than Mir's did. Dara is overjoyed to have a younger sister, albeit a temporary one, she can do things with and drags Thunder out to do everything she can think of. Everyday Thunder comes back exhausted and collapses on the bed immediately. Not just from shopping or whatever else it was they did that day, but also from being constantly hit on. Unlike Mir, who wasn't that much different as a girl, Thunder is very, very pretty. Everyone figures it runs in the family so Thunder is left cursing his genes. When his week is over, the dark circles gained he's gained as a girl disappear.
Joon is next and takes the loss of his chocolate abs unsurprisingly badly. "But Seungho-hyung doesn't think I'm sexy anymore," he whines to G.O. "He's refusing to have sex with me and I don't want to not have sex for a week." G.O., who does NOT want to deal with this at five in the morning, shoves Joon off him. "Go ask Seungho-hyung," he groans. "I can't read his mind." Joon glares at him and flounces out the room to go find Seungho. Cornering him before he leaves for the studio, Joon demands an answer. What he gets is not exactly what he expected.
Seungho, when asked, looks up at Joon with a put upon expression. "I just got over being gay," he explains. "If I have sex with you it'll be like I'm straight again and I don't want to have to have a gender crisis again." Joon thinks about this for a moment before deciding it's a stupid reason to deprive the great Lee Joon of sex. "But oppa," he(she?) purrs, "You'll never get to top again." That does it. Joon is shoved up against a wall and there's a hand down his(her) skirt before he can say anything else.
When they're done, Seungho looks over at Joon. "When you turn back, you're topping for the next couple weeks. I'm too old for this." Joon spends the week alternately trying to get Seungho to have sex again(doesn't work) and freak out Onew with her new features(if the hyperventilating is anything to go by, this does work). By the end, Joon is ready to kill in order to turn back. Three days is definitely too long a wait. The minute he turns back he tries to jump Seungho's bones. 'Tries' being the operative word. He changes back at four in the morning and Seungho, strangely enough, does not want to have celebratory sex at that hour. Joon is forced to wait through a long day of shooting before he gets what he wants.
G.O.'s time as a girl is very uneventful. The only thing he's interested in doing is see how much higher he can get his(her) new voice to go. Practically the entire week is spent at the recording studio with voice coaches. The one time she does return to the dorm, it's to a stack of lady razors piled on the nightstand. When he asks why they're there, he's informed by a shuddering Mir that none of them want to look at her legs which they "can't even see in the first place because there's too much hair." G.O. vows revenge when he is no longer a she and retreats to the bathroom to shave.
It seems she doesn't have to wait because the next morning, she wakes to Mir's screaming. Apparently the hair has clogged the drain and has cost the maknae his shower time. G.O. grins to himself and waltzes out the door to get to the studio. When he becomes a boy again, he's disappointed for a second until he remembers he has a falsetto.
Seungho is decidedly unhappy. Firstly, whoever said waking to a kiss from your lover is romantic, sweet, and all that crap has not dated Lee Joon. It's not so much waking up to a kiss as it is waking up to near suffocation by tongue-down-throat. Secondly, the pain in his ribs has come back due to the large deadweight called Lee Joon settled on his torso. Thirdly, it's apparently his turn to be a girl and there's an inexplicable pain in his lower abdomen that is most certainly not rib related.
Actually when Seungho considers it, his problem is not so much being a girl as Joon's reaction to his being a girl. The first day is mostly wasted trying to convince Joon that his stomach pains are enough to warrant not having sex. The next few days are spent getting blood transfusions. Apparently Seungho's body has retained enough of its male properties to be incapable of handling the loss of enough blood to turn his previously white bed sheets into a passable Japanese flag. Junhyung comes over again to drag Seungho out so the rest of MBLAQ can have a break from the ever present thunderclouds. He puts up with Seungho's complaining for a couple hours before depositing him on Joon again. Seungho sulks the rest of the time away and is the happiest out of all of them when he changes back.
Junhyung comes back one more time to show Seungho the picture he snapped when Seungho was still a girl. Despite valiant efforts by both Seungho and Joon, who want that picture for very different reasons, Junhyung evades their best efforts and escapes intact. Seungho is forced to appeal to a higher power, namely Hyunseung, who agrees to force Junhyung to never release the picture in exchange for a trip to noraebang. Seungho's not sure how Junhyung's silence is bought but he doesn't think he wants to know.
A/N: G.O. why must your name look so awkward when I put punctuation behind it? TT_TT (latelatelate) birthday present for miomio~