FIC: SPAM Pancakes (Steve/Danny, PG-13)
Title: SPAM Pancakes
Pairing: Steve/Danny
Summary: Where Steve and Danny get high, stare at the ocean, and contemplate making pancakes.
Rating/content: PG-13 for accidental drug use and inappropriate laughter at the death of another human being; spoilers for 1x24
Word count: ~500
A/N: Written for the final week of sd_ldws's lightning round. The genre was crack, the prompt was "baking," and the word count was 500 exactly. Modified a bit from the submitted version. Thanks to delicatale for her assistance!
If I may make a suggestion, I recommend reading this very slowly.
*****
"Do I have to arrest my own sister for this?"
Danny looks over at Steve, squinting thoughtfully. "I don't know. You did break into her house. That's like...illegal search and seizure."
"But I have a key," says Steve.
"But you didn't use the key," Danny points out, hand flopping down onto the arm of the deck chair. "You crawled in through her bedroom window." He laughs at that, a little harder than necessary, but Steve just frowns, troubled.
"She wasn't home," says Steve. "What if someone else had come in? She should always be home." He'd have to talk to her about that, among other things. He should probably start with where she got those cookies and why she just left them in her refrigerator for anyone to find.
Danny leans back in his chair and looks out at the ocean. "We should ask her where she got them."
It's kind of like Danny is reading his mind right now. "This is like that movie," says Steve.
"What movie?"
"With Mel Gibson."
"Braveheart."
"No," says Steve.
"To answer your question..." Danny says, and then pauses. Steve doesn't remember asking a question, and just blinks at him. "...you should not arrest your sister."
"Oh."
"Bad idea."
"Yeah." Steve nods slowly. "Yeah. That makes sense."
"I know," says Danny.
"She doesn't need anything else on her record. She would be so angry with me. She's always angry."
"She's going to be angry enough when she realizes we broke into her house and stole her cookies," says Danny. "They were probably a gift. I wonder where she got them."
Steve suddenly has a very strong feeling of déjà vu, like they've had this exact conversation before. "It's like those words happened twice."
Danny just looks at him for a long time, breathing. "We should make pancakes," he says finally.
"What if the governor finds out?"
"That we made pancakes?"
"No, that we ate those cookies," says Steve.
"But she's dead," Danny says, and bursts out laughing. He doesn't even make any noise, just sits there with his eyes closed and his shoulders shaking, and Steve doesn't know why it's so funny, except that it really really is, and he starts laughing too, so hard he can't even breathe and he's crying and there's snot coming out of his nose.
"You shot her!" Danny wheezes.
"But I didn't!" says Steve, "Remember?" and Danny starts laughing again.
They laugh until Steve is more tired than he's ever been in his entire life, and he leans back in his chair, hiccuping.
"We should tell Kamekona to come make us pancakes," says Danny, fumbling with his phone.
"SPAM pancakes," says Steve.
"We wouldn't even have to move."
"We could have sex."
"We would have to move for that," says Danny.
"We could try not to."
They stare at one another for a long time before Danny's phone buzzes. He squints down at it.
"Is he coming?" says Steve.
Danny shakes his head. "Kono says she'll be here in five minutes and we better have some cookies left."
Pairing: Steve/Danny
Summary: Where Steve and Danny get high, stare at the ocean, and contemplate making pancakes.
Rating/content: PG-13 for accidental drug use and inappropriate laughter at the death of another human being; spoilers for 1x24
Word count: ~500
A/N: Written for the final week of sd_ldws's lightning round. The genre was crack, the prompt was "baking," and the word count was 500 exactly. Modified a bit from the submitted version. Thanks to delicatale for her assistance!
If I may make a suggestion, I recommend reading this very slowly.
*****
"Do I have to arrest my own sister for this?"
Danny looks over at Steve, squinting thoughtfully. "I don't know. You did break into her house. That's like...illegal search and seizure."
"But I have a key," says Steve.
"But you didn't use the key," Danny points out, hand flopping down onto the arm of the deck chair. "You crawled in through her bedroom window." He laughs at that, a little harder than necessary, but Steve just frowns, troubled.
"She wasn't home," says Steve. "What if someone else had come in? She should always be home." He'd have to talk to her about that, among other things. He should probably start with where she got those cookies and why she just left them in her refrigerator for anyone to find.
Danny leans back in his chair and looks out at the ocean. "We should ask her where she got them."
It's kind of like Danny is reading his mind right now. "This is like that movie," says Steve.
"What movie?"
"With Mel Gibson."
"Braveheart."
"No," says Steve.
"To answer your question..." Danny says, and then pauses. Steve doesn't remember asking a question, and just blinks at him. "...you should not arrest your sister."
"Oh."
"Bad idea."
"Yeah." Steve nods slowly. "Yeah. That makes sense."
"I know," says Danny.
"She doesn't need anything else on her record. She would be so angry with me. She's always angry."
"She's going to be angry enough when she realizes we broke into her house and stole her cookies," says Danny. "They were probably a gift. I wonder where she got them."
Steve suddenly has a very strong feeling of déjà vu, like they've had this exact conversation before. "It's like those words happened twice."
Danny just looks at him for a long time, breathing. "We should make pancakes," he says finally.
"What if the governor finds out?"
"That we made pancakes?"
"No, that we ate those cookies," says Steve.
"But she's dead," Danny says, and bursts out laughing. He doesn't even make any noise, just sits there with his eyes closed and his shoulders shaking, and Steve doesn't know why it's so funny, except that it really really is, and he starts laughing too, so hard he can't even breathe and he's crying and there's snot coming out of his nose.
"You shot her!" Danny wheezes.
"But I didn't!" says Steve, "Remember?" and Danny starts laughing again.
They laugh until Steve is more tired than he's ever been in his entire life, and he leans back in his chair, hiccuping.
"We should tell Kamekona to come make us pancakes," says Danny, fumbling with his phone.
"SPAM pancakes," says Steve.
"We wouldn't even have to move."
"We could have sex."
"We would have to move for that," says Danny.
"We could try not to."
They stare at one another for a long time before Danny's phone buzzes. He squints down at it.
"Is he coming?" says Steve.
Danny shakes his head. "Kono says she'll be here in five minutes and we better have some cookies left."