Killer rabbits.........
~ Yawns and pawns at her coffee..~
I do love this stuff, but I hate when it gets cold.
It is fucking five thirty in the morning, what am I doing up?
Pffttt I have no clue. I think my body has decided I am a morning person… Which is seriously not computable, ask anyone who knows me. I have never been a morning person. OoO well…….
I spent a little time last night talking to a friend of mine. Tell me he is not damn sexy. Heh In a few short weeks he and I have became close.. I seem to be trust worthy? Iono his words not mine. Him and his wife are hitting something similar to what Anthony and I have went through in the last three years.. I guess I have a little insight on it for him. He worships this woman; his problem though is he stopped showing her that he does. GUYS listen up; a woman is easy as hell to please. Just let her know she is important to you. There are million ways to do that. The best way is to tell her, often and in depth. We like words guys. We love to hear you tell us how wonderful we are, just as much as y’all love us stroking your egos.
~Nods to this and coils into her blanket.~
Anyway, got off the phone with him and then had it out with Nae really bad. OMG I hate to admit it but I lost it. I think this momma snapped. Woooshhhh I went to see what she was doing. Well, once again she was sitting on her bed bawling her eyes out. I broke people. I do not think I have ever lost it that bad before. First of all you have to understand something. My kids are my soul and when a mother cannot take away pain it is excruciating. So, I find her there and ask her what’s wrong. Of course it was Chris again. He evidently was out with some chick last night and Nae found out when she answered his phone.
Now let me tell you a little of why I lost my composure last night. Mind you my baby was always a very outgoing and vibrant young lady. I mean for God’s sake, she was nominated for homecoming Duchess last year. She has been involved in volunteer work all around our county, as well as working with Adopt a Pet. She has never been one to sit at home on weekends, not a wall flower in the least. YET, since she started dating this kid she has slacked more and more off. Hell she has even stopped putting on make up AND Let me tell you that is major for Lynnae. I love her dearly but my baby is vain, or she was. Now all she does is go to school and work, she does not even go see her best friend hardly any more. She has tossed everything aside for this boy and I have let it go on to damn long. Every damn weekend in one way or another he makes her cry. I just cannot stand it any more. I told her last night she ended it or I would. She spazzed on me of course and said if I made her end it she was done with me. I shattered; I went to her room and was trying to explain to her why I cannot handle it any more. OoO and guess what?!?! The phone rang and I picked it up. Here is the conversation.
Chris: Hello
Me: What did you do this time to make my daughter cry?
Chris: Huh?
Me: I said what did you do to make Nae cry again?
Chris: My manager answered my phone at work and she thinks I am cheating on her………again…
Me: Do you realize that since you started dating my daughter there has not been one week to go by without her crying over you?
Chris: Look if she thinks I am cheating on her fine… You can all go the fuck on…..
CLICK
I looked at Lynnae and said, “This is what you love?” She burst into tears again and screamed at me, “Don’t you know, I know he is not good enough for me? Don’t you know, I know he will never love me like I love him? But Britney said you only love once in your life and mom if I do not get him to love me like I love him I will not be loved…. “I was floored once more. So I said, “I know everyone wants to find their one true soul mate, and be with that person for the rest of their life. But Nae if Chris is NOT giving you the kind of love you deserve, do you really think he is your one true love? There will be another boy/man who can love you like you deserve. It cannot be what is considered true love baby unless it is on both sides.” Then I went on to tell her the people I have loved in my life other than her father. I also explained to her that love comes in many different forms and that you cannot force someone to love you. If you have to force it that is it not real.
~sighs and shakes her head.~
I do not know how much good or damage I did. However, I know me and Miss Brit will be having a talk this afternoon as soon as I can get her on the phone. I want my little girl back and I am lost at how to do it. All I can do is keep holding her and wait for her to get fed up with this kid. Don’t get me wrong guys I do not think my baby is perfect. I do however; believe that when you are in a relationship it has to be give and take. Sometimes there is one who gives more and sometimes that balances itself out. With Chris though, he has yet to give Nae anything other than lies and broken promises. I also know NO ONE will ever be good enough for her in my eyes. However, if he was better to her I would not be fighting this. I know I cannot choose who she falls in love with, I do. But I also know I am her mom and no one in the right mind can expect me to sit and watch him hurt her over and over again either. I hope last night was the end, some how though I am afraid it wasn’t. We shall see.
~Curls into her blanket.~
I can hope Hannah will decide to become a Nun?!?! Pffttt
Enough ranting I suppose.. Just one more…….. ALL DAY YESTERDAY WAS SILENCE! I hate silence BTW! Such as life I suppose. I put it all out there and now I will let it go.
That’s it from me for now……
Kisses and Lix