Kou Kink Camp
It's raining and cold, but I was up early this morning because of the time change and decided to go hit up Lidl. I love Lidl. It's so weird and random. There was a guy in there this morning who was clearly speeding, jittering by the yoghurts. Also, it's cheap and I have no money.
What I do have, however, is Silver Diamond fic, because I am strange and obsessed like that. As most people won't know this series, and don't realise just how beautiful and gay the pairing of my fic (which is an unusal pairing in an obscure manga) are, I have provided a slightly unskillfully thrown together banner for reference purposes. Thanks to cienna for her help, but it doesn't make up for my lack of photoshop skillz. Still, pretty is pretty, so enjoy!
Title: Doubt Is Not Like This
Words: 6,231
Rating: PG, for nekkidness and a bit of kinky snogging
Summary: Silver Diamond, Narushige/Touji. Narushige and Touji are good friends. Kou has other ideas.
Thanks to cienna for the beta. All remaining mistakes mine. I lost custody of Narushige and Touji in a viciously fought court battle and thus they aren't mine.
.Doubt Is Not Like This.
The first half of the first hour was pretty much like any other.
They had eaten and talked and somehow Rakan had managed to get Chigusa to do the washing up as Narushige arranged the futons carefully and muttered conspiratorially with Kou.
Their hosts for the night were less nosy than most, which made Touji think that maybe they were scared of them. Well, of Chigusa anyway. So they were pretty much left alone which meant that Touji was, he thought, doomed to yet another bath with Chigusa in the noble cause of preserving Rakan's virtue. Or something. It had all made sense earlier when Narushige had carefully and slowly explained to Touji Why Rakan Must Never Bathe With Chigusa, even though Touji had the growing suspicion that Rakan wasn’t as innocent as he looked.
So Touji was not a little surprised when Narushige announced they were bathing together, making Kou giggle and Touji confused.
"Chigusa promised not to do anything strange," Narushige explained, nodding his head confidently. Then he folded his arms and looked at the floor, smiling sadly. "We trust him," he said, and Touji nodded in agreement and thought that maybe he understood.
*
The second half of the first hour went something like this:
"I can hear laughing," Touji said, left ear pressed up against the warm, worn wood. He grimaced. "Giggling," he clarified. "It sounds like Kou."
Narushige sighed, leaning against the side of the bath. "I should have known he was up to something."
Touji turned to look at him, feeling hot and uncomfortable and very naked. "Why?" he asked slowly.
Narushige frowned, shaking his head. "I can't remember the last time Kou didn't want to take a bath with me, but he said Rakan had asked him to help with something and I thought..." Narushige shrugged and turned to look away. "Maybe I did something wrong," he added quietly.
"I don't know," Touji said. "Kou doesn't sound very upset or angry or anything to me."
He pressed his ear closer, hearing a new voice. "I can hear him talking to Chigusa," he told Narushige. This seemed all too suspicious to Touji. "I think he must be in on this too."
"But why would they lock us in?" Narushige asked, pushing himself upright and moving to stand beside Touji, listening at the door. "Unless!" he said, startled by something, and Touji automatically stood upright, on alert, hand going to the knife that he remembered was actually not there only when his hand hit his own flesh. "Chigusa!" Narushige hissed, and he looked as annoyed as Touji had ever seen him. And Touji was guiltily grateful that Narushige was too focused to have noticed his mistake.
"He must have lied! He’s done this to get Rakan to himself." He pressed his hands to the door, tried to slide it open again, but that hadn’t worked the first time and it would still not budge.
"But Chigusa said he wouldn’t..." Touji began, confused, and watched as Narushige's frown deepened. He sighed, let go of the door and turned to face Touji.
"You're right," he said, with conviction. "The door must be broken." He nodded, tapped on the door and called:
"Rakan-kun? Chigusa? Kou? The door is broken and Touji and I can’t get out. Can you get help?"
There was silence for a moment then something that sounded suspiciously like Kou snickering. From the look on Narushige's face that clearly wasn’t the reply he had expected.
"Maybe they can't hear us?" Touji said, although he didn't believe that at all.
*
By the end of the first hour Narushige was getting worried and Touji's fingers were so wrinkled he was beginning to suspect he would never be able to fire his bow ever again.
"It must be our hosts," Narushige concluded finally after sitting cross-legged on the floor scowling deeply for a very very long time. "They must have drugged them, or made them lock us in."
"Why would they do that though?" Touji asked remembering the completely harmless-looking old grannies who had happily, if creakily, welcomed them and shown them around their grand, if slightly weary-looking, home.
Narushige tilted his head, gathering up his long hair over his right shoulder. It was probably the extended warmth and damp making him weird but Touji couldn't stop looking at the way Narushige's hair stuck to his chest and to his neck, flattened and soggy and dripping; the way it left water trails across Narushige’s skin as he pulled it away from his body.
"It’s true they didn’t seem the type," Narushige said thoughtfully. "But sometimes you never can tell. Things that seem weak or old or beautiful can sometimes be the worst things of all." He smiled sadly in a way that, if he were clothed, Touji would definitely have hugged him. But they were still naked and Touji had retreated back into the bath several minutes ago because his back was getting cold and he was getting permanent lines in his legs from sitting on the wood floor. It didn't seem to bother Narushige.
"Narushige," he said, so that Narushige would look at him and see that he was smiling his very best smile; the one that Rakan told him made him look cute. He wanted to tell Narushige that there was no way he was bad, that he'd done nothing wrong, that Touji was an idiot for saying those things to him back when they'd first met. Touji wanted to tell Narushige that he liked him as much as he liked Chigusa and Rakan, which is more than he'd ever liked anyone before. And maybe a little bit more besides because Narushige was beautiful and graceful and always nice to him. But Touji was not Rakan, who seemed to be able to tell everyone how he felt about them without (much) embarrassment. And he was not Chigusa, who could say anything to anyone because he didn’t know he wasn’t supposed to.
So instead Touji said, "I trust them," and meant it.
*
"The door isn't broken! We have not been taken over by monsters! The old grannies here haven't drugged us, poisoned us, convinced us you were impostors, or taken a strong dislike to you!" Which, incidentally, had been Touji's next theory. "We locked you in! Just so you know!" Kou finished with a very un-snake-like chuckle.
Narushige stood for a moment hands resting lightly against the door, lips slightly parted and eyes wide as though in shock, which Touji supposed he probably was.
"At least we know they're alright," Touji shrugged, leaning forward and trying to peer through a particularly large crack between the ancient slats of the door. He could just about make out Kou's form slithering up the corridor back towards their room.
"Kou!" Narushige called suddenly beside him. "Explain what is going on!" he demanded.
"He's gone," Touji told him, standing back up.
"Gone?"
Touji pointed towards the door. "Back to the room."
Narushige sighed heavily, head dropping to his chest. "I can't imagine why they won't let us out," he said, looking intently at the floor.
They stood like that, in silence, warm bath water turned cold and uncomfortable dripping off their bodies for several minutes until the inaction made Touji nervous and he had to move to the other side of the room and start tracing his hands over the walls for any possible means of escape. Again.
Touji couldn't be sure but he thought that maybe Narushige was watching him. It was odd but Touji didn't actually mind.
*
"Help me with this door, Touji," Narushige said trying to jam his fingers between the frame and the door, which made Touji grimace because that really had to hurt.
"I'm not sure our hosts would appreciate it if we broke their door," Touji said worriedly but helped anyway because Narushige could be really scary when he looked at him like that.
"Maybe they," Touji tried, not liking the creaking sound the door was making, "Have a good reason for locking us in?"
"For example?" Narushige asked shifting his legs to get better leverage, and it was then, looking at pale, long shoulders and arched back that Touji remembered he'd never actually seen Narushige without clothes on before. And certainly never for this long.
"Err," he replied, trying to look like he was helping Narushige break out without doing too much damage to the door. "Maybe they think we need to relax?"
Narushige laughed. "This is not very relaxing," he said and Touji had to agree with that, especially when he could feel several splinters burying themselves into his fingertips.
"Maybe we weren't supposed to fight it so much," he suggested. And now that he thought about it Touji really had to agree that Narushige could do with resting more often. Well, maybe they all could really. Everyday was a new trek to some new place and some new fight or argument or danger. He liked the excitement, he really did, but Touji couldn’t help but long for a day off just once in a while. So he said, "You know, it might not be a bad idea."
Narushige stiffened and turned to face Touji so suddenly and with such a thunderous look on his face that Touji took a step back in surprise, and before he knew what had happened he was flat on his back on the wet floor and his head really, really hurt.
He tried to sit up but there was a hand on his shoulder and the effort made his head hurt worse anyway.
"Touji?" he heard Narushige say from somewhere above him, then felt warm fingers against his temple. "Sorry, sorry," Narushige was saying, and he sounded so close and so worried that it made Touji nervous. "This is my fault. I'm sorry."
"S'not your fault," Touji tried to assure him, opening his eyes and they were so wet he thought that maybe he’d been crying until he remembered they were still in the bathroom. "M'okay."
"You hit your head," Narushige said, pursing his lips.
"Yeah," Touji agreed. "I'll just stay here for a minute."
He relaxed back against the floor, closing his eyes again and there was quiet for a few minutes as Touji listened to his head pounding and Narushige fidgeted beside him. Then;
"You'll catch a cold down there," Narushige said, which made Touji smile because Narushige could be such a mother.
And it was almost too easy for Touji to imagine Narushige's frown when he said:
"What are you laughing at?"
"Nothing, nothing," Touji said quickly and opened one eye to see Narushige looking down at him with a mix of concern and annoyance on his face. He smiled then because it seemed the thing to do and because Touji couldn't really remember anyone looking at him that way before; like they cared if he was in pain, or really even if he was alive. Touji wondered if Narushige ever felt like that, imagined he probably did, so he was glad when some of the annoyance fell away from Narushige's face and he smiled back at him, just a little, but it was still a smile.
"Help me up then?" Touji asked, reaching a hand up. Narushige took his arm and Touji could feel muscle and bone and cool flesh beneath his fingers. He couldn’t explain it, couldn’t place it, but Touji didn’t really want to let go.
"Are you okay?" Narushige was saying. "You look a little… red." And it was then that Touji realised he was hanging onto Narushige’s arm, staring down at his hand on Narushige's skin.
"Just, um," Touji stammered, thinking he really must have hit his head harder than he thought. "Getting my balance." He tried to shake his head but regretted it when the world sort of spun a bit. Then someone, well, Narushige, because there was really no one else in the bath with them, tugged on his arm and said:
"Sit down, Touji. You look terrible." So he sat, eyes closed with his back against the side of the bath and felt Narushige sit himself down beside him.
"We could use this as an excuse," Touji said finally, when his head had stopped being quite so loud and spinny. He drew his legs up to his chest and leaned his arms against his knees, turning his head to face Narushige.
"As an excuse?" Narushige asked, and Touji watched as he bent his head forward to look at him, one eyebrow raised.
"For them to let us out," Touji shrugged. "You could say I'm bleeding to death or something."
Narushige laughed a little but shook his head.
"I couldn’t lie," he said.
"Me neither I suppose." Touji shrugged again, thinking that if this went on long enough he certainly might learn how to.
*
Touji put his hand in the bath. "Water," he said and Narushige, predictably, nodded.
"Your go."
Touji looked around the room, even if it was a stupid thing to do, because it was not like anything new was suddenly going to magically appear in their bathroom-prison.
"I see something that begins with… B," he said.
Narushige thought for a moment, then:
"Bath," he paused. "No, wait, we had that already. Bucket."
*
By the time Touji had completely lost count of how long they had been in the bathroom Narushige was looking tired and frayed and Touji's back was hurting.
"Maybe you should go back in the water," Narushige suggested gently prodding at the growing lump on Touji's head. Touji nodded his assent but didn't move because he kind of liked Narushige looking after him this way and anyway, standing up gave him a headache. Narushige frowned at him. "I'm going to tell them to let us out. You don't look well."
"I thought we weren't using that as an excuse," Touji said.
"It is not an excuse," Narushige replied, and he let his hands fall to rest lightly on Touji's shoulders. "You should lay down."
"Could lay down here," Touji said and suddenly all he could think of was how nice it would be to stretch out on the floor with his head pillowed on Narushige’s knees and Narushige gently stroking his wet hair back and talking to him quietly and…
And Touji really didn't think it was good to look at Narushige that way. They were friends, they fought together, they kept Rakan safe together, he was like family now. It was weird though because Touji had never really thought about it before; it had just sort of happened and before he knew it he had a family who he was willing to die for. Who he would kill for. Even if Narushige could be distant sometimes he was still fun, and kind, and clever, and really really…
"That wouldn't be comfortable," Narushige said, pulling at Touji's elbow to encourage him to stand up and looking at him with a very odd expression, like he was trying to work something out or trying to read Touji's mind. Touji raised an eyebrow at him in question but Narushige just smiled and propelled him gently back towards the bath.
"I guess it's not like I can get any more wrinkly," Touji sighed, turning away from Narushige. He heard Narushige laugh and move back towards the door. Then suddenly there was a gasp and Narushige said:
"Touji!" And he sounded so shocked that Touji thought he must have done something really bad without even realising it.
"What? What?" he asked, turning back to face Narushige.
"You have…" he said, "There's a…" he tried, and frowned thoughtfully, walking slowly towards Touji and looking most decidedly at his lower back. "No wonder you said it hurt to sit down."
Touji tried to twist his head to see, but he wasn't that bendy, so he looked up at Narushige and asked:
"What is it?"
"A bruise," he said, and sort of indicated the general direction of Touji's thighs. "On your… back."
"Back?" Touji asked, and prodded his skin with his fingers.
Touji heard Narushige cough, then said:
"Um, lower." And Touji could have sworn Narushige sounded more amused than anything. Which was completely wrong because now Touji knew exactly where Narushige was looking and he could feel his face burning in embarrassment.
"Oh," Touji said, and decided the bath was definitely the best place to be right then. "Thanks," he added, although he wasn't completely sure what he was thankful for.
*
Narushige had just smiled at him indulgently after that, as Touji hid in the bath and concentrated on not blushing to death.
"Please get us out of here," he said, and thought it probably sounded very whiny but really didn’t care because he still had a headache and of course he had a bruise on his backside. Where else would he have one? And that was really going to hurt if they had to ride on Kuro's back tomorrow.
Narushige nodded and returned to the door, knocking loudly and shouting:
"Kou! Chigusa! You have to let us out!" He stopped, seemed to gather himself then called more loudly, voice sounding a little more worried and urgent. "Touji slipped and hit his head!" And if Touji hadn't really wanted to get out of the damn bathroom right then he would have been a lot more embarrassed about that too.
He heard heavy footfalls then hurrying towards them, and for a moment was so sure they would be able to finally, finally escape that he grinned madly at Narushige, who smiled back knowingly and a little bit mischievously and then leaned forward, whispering:
"I'll make sure the door stays open whilst you escape."
Touji nodded, prepared to push himself out of the water and waited.
Nothing happened.
"I think they're planning an escape," he heard Chigusa say, his voice muffled through the walls.
"And Touji’s alright?" Kou asked, and sounded so genuinely concerned that Touji almost felt guilty for lying. Except, he told himself, it wasn't really lying because if they hadn't locked him in then he wouldn't have had to plan an escape, and he wouldn't have a headache, and he wouldn't have a bruise on his backside and Narushige wouldn't be standing naked in front of him looking like he felt guilty about the whole thing too.
"He's alright. He's in the bath," Chigusa said. "And Narushige is by the door." That made Narushige take a step back in surprise, and Touji shouted:
"I am not alright! I hit my head! I have splinters! I’m bruised! And soggy!"
"He's alright," he heard Kou say with laughter in his voice, and Touji thought he might get really angry about that but for fact that it was then that he realised:
"Hang on, you can see us?" he called, and remembered just how good Chigusa's eyes could be. "You shouldn't be looking!"
Narushige was nodding vehemently in agreement. He might also have looked a bit embarrassed, but Touji couldn't be sure as his face was mostly hidden by his long hair.
"Kou asked me to check," Chigusa said.
"Check what?" Narushige asked, then frowned and added, "And you shouldn't be asking things like that, Kou."
"To check whether you and Touji were…" Chigusa began, speaking slowly, puzzled, as though they really should know this. Then Kou cut him off:
"Kissing!" he said. "You've been in there two hours and you're not even kissing yet!" Kou finished, sounding completely disgusted. "We've done all we can," he announced. "You're not coming out until you've kissed."
With that, they heard footsteps moving away from them, then silence.
Touji and Narushige looked at each other.
"Kissing?" Narushige said.
*
"Are we sure Kou hasn't been possessed?" Touji wondered, staring at the door with something like hatred. The door that had become their barrier to freedom, to towels, to .
"Is it that horrible?" Narushige asked, smiling gently. "The thought of kissing me?"
Narushige lifted one arm from the water and laid it on the edge of the bath, watching Touji carefully. And Touji suddenly felt like a very small, naughty child.
"No, no, that's not what I meant," Touji tried to explain. "It's not at all… It's not… I just thought that," he stammered, and wondered if it wouldn't just be easier to drown himself right there and then. "I didn't think you'd want to," he said, looking down at the water, which by now was really not looking as clean and they might have liked. But it was still warm and better than sitting on the floor. And it made him feel a lot less naked. "With… me," he added quietly, knowing that he was probably blushing. Again.
The water shifted around him as Narushige moved closer, putting a hand gently on his shoulder.
"If it's the only way to get them to let us out," he said, and he was so calm about it all. "Just," he started, looking away and for a moment he looked worried. "Just as friends." He shrugged as though this was not important, as though it wasn't a big thing, to kiss your friend. Which, Touji supposed, it probably wasn't. Not that he would know.
Thinking about it though, Touji couldn't help but wonder if Narushige knew. If he'd ever kissed anyone, or lots of people, or men, or women. He'd only ever seen him kiss Kou, and Touji shook his head because he really didn't want to follow that thought through.
"I suppose," he said, because Narushige was waiting for an answer and he didn't want to hurt his feelings. Anyway, it really wasn't a horrible thought at all; the prospect of kissing Narushige. Just one he'd never really considered before.
He'd thought about it now though.
"But I don't get why Kou wants us to… um… you know," Touji frowned. "That's why I think he must be possessed. Because it makes no sense."
"Makes no sense?" Narushige replied, sounding entirely too amused.
"None at all. I mean, why…" Touji began, but Narushige interrupted:
"Kou likes you," he said, and there was that sad smile again that made Touji frown and want to hug him. But, still naked.
"That doesn't explain why…" Touji said then stopped, realising what Narushige had said. "Kou likes me?" And Touji had no idea why and thought it was probably very childish but he was really happy about that.
Narushige laughed, squeezed Touji's shoulder a little. "Yes. He does. He doesn't like many people. But he likes Rakan and he likes Chigusa. And he likes you, Touji." And Narushige said his name with such clarity and focus and intensity that it made Touji want to shiver.
"So Kou wants us to kiss because he likes me?" Touji asked, not getting it at all, and is even more confused when Narushige nodded and smiled at him as though Touji had just completely understood everything. It made Touji feel really stupid, like he was missing something, which he was pretty sure he was. So he said;
"So we kiss then?"
And Narushige's answering nod and widening smile were all the reply Touji needed.
*
If Rakan had asked Touji that morning, hours ago when they were just waking up, how he thought the day would go this was not something Touji would have even considered possible. Not that he was complaining. Because Narushige's lips were soft and warm and wet, which he supposed wasn't surprising considering they were in the bath. And when it was over, after the barest touch and breath, Touji kind of wanted to have another go.
"Err," he said, wondering if it was rude to ask and wondering at himself for wanting to. "So."
"I suppose we should," Narushige said, drawing slowly back to his side of the bath. "To let us out. Tell them." He coughed and turned away, looking at the door.
"Yeah," Touji agreed, not able to take his eyes off Narushige's face because he had him and he had never kissed anyone before, and because Narushige was really, really pretty. Touji wondered how he'd missed that. Not that he was pretty, because everyone who had eyes knew that, but that he thought Narushige was pretty in a way that made his heart go faster, and his face feel red, and his hands want to touch.
Narushige coughed again, eyes momentarily turned to Touji then back to the door.
"I'll," he pointed to the door, paused, eyes shifting back to look at Touji. Touji nodded, really hoping he didn't look too disappointed or anything.
With a hint of a smile Narushige pushed himself out of the bath and made his way carefully over to the wall, water dripping down his legs and his back leaving small puddles as he went. And Touji was most definitely not watching the way Narushige's long, fine hair stuck to his shoulders, spindly and criss-crossed like the branches of one of Rakan's trees. He wasn't looking at the way Narushige's muscles shifted and slid under skin as he lifted his arm to the door, knocking twice and said loudly, slowly:
"Kou! Chigusa! You can let us out now!" as though they had wanted to be locked in all along. Touji really wasn't listening to his voice, thinking, I'd like to hear him say my name again or, I want him to tell me to kiss him again. Not at all.
And he had in no way completely missed the arrival of Kou and Chigusa and their conversation with Narushige, so that all he heard was Kou's defiant:
"No good! Neither of you are coming out here until I see tongue!"
*
"Possessed," Narushige said, his eyes wide and a little bit wild. "Definitely." Touji could only nod solemnly in complete agreement.
"You've known Kou a long time you said?" Touji asked, resting his chin on the side of the bath and watching Narushige gracefully slump to the floor, pull his knees up then wrap his arms around his legs.
Narushige nodded his head, frowning in question.
"Then," Touji explained, "You would have noticed a long time ago if he was insane."
Narushige laughed, slid his legs forward so they were stretched out and folded his hands over his lap.
"Though he's not always sensible, I never knew he would go this far," he said.
"We could just wait," Touji said, shrugging and hanging his arms over the bath edge because his hands were so wrinkly now they were getting painful. "They can't leave us in here forever. We have to move on tomorrow so they'll have to let us out eventually." He titled his head to the side thoughtfully. "Maybe Rakan will save us."
"We could," Narushige agreed, but he was looking at his hands and he looked worried about something, so Touji asked:
"What is it?"
He leaned forward to try and see Narushige's face better, to see his eyes. And as Narushige lifted his left arm to rub at his shoulder, closing his eyes, his lips slightly parted, Touji thought, Touji hoped he would suggest they kiss again. For longer. Like Kou had demanded. Because Narushige was the sensible one and he would tell Touji why it was completely sensible that they should do it; so that they could leave the bathroom, so they could get dry and get and go to bed so they were well rested for the next day and whatever new things it had in store for them. And maybe, somewhere, just a little bit, just a tiny tiny part of Touji also hoped that Narushige would say he wanted to kiss Touji again too, just for the sake of being closer, for the sake of their lips being together and their bodies close and because he liked it. So Touji couldn't help but be disappointed when instead Narushige said:
"I think I should say sorry."
Touji blinked, sat up straighter and tried to imagine what Narushige could possibly think he needed to apologise for.
"For what?" he asked, because Touji really couldn't come up with anything at all.
"For…" Narushige lifted his hand from his shoulder and stretched out his arm, the palm facing upwards in a vague sort of all-encompassing gesture. "All of this," he said.
"But you didn't have anything to do with this!" Touji insisted. "It was…", then he stopped, taking in the downward turn of Narushige's lips and his hunched shoulders. "Did you?"
Narushige frowned, but shook his head.
"No. No, I didn't," he said decisively.
"Then why…"
"But," Narushige went on quickly. "I may have said something to Kou to make him think that maybe I." And Narushige stopped, looking to his left where the lamp sat, flickering gently. Touji watched Narushige's face, the shadows and light cast across the planes of his skin by the lamp, the lines around his eyes that made Touji think Narushige looked tired, or like he was thinking carefully, or worried, or maybe all of it at once. "That you are a good friend," Narushige said, finally. "And I am thankful for that and hoped that we could," he paused again, turned to face Touji and Touji thought that he looked more embarrassed than he'd ever seen him before. "All of us," he said. "That all of us four could be better friends."
There was something in the way he spoke, or the way he looked at him, or the way he shifted his body but Touji understood then, or at least, thought he understood then, that Narushige was just maybe thinking about kissing him again too.
*
Touji would never be able to explain, later, in the next second, ever, what made him think that the best thing to say then, when Narushige was looking sad and tortured and guilty, and he was thinking that he was glad he had friends for the first time in his life, that he wanted to stay with them forever, was:
"Are we going to kiss again then?"
*
The last thing Touji saw before everything went suddenly dark and he thought, panicked, angry, worried, I'm blind again, and I'm useless again, and They won't want me anymore, was Narushige's face, his eyes cast down but bright, trying to suppress a smile.
"Oh," Narushige said, and Touji felt so relieved that he lay his forehead against the bath edge and listened to Narushige shifting somewhere in the darkness, waiting for his eyes to adjust, and just breathed. "Touji?" Narushige said, and Touji smiled at the worry in his voice, glad for the dark, knowing that Narushige couldn't see him. "Are you alright?"
Touji lifted his head, saw the light filtering in through the cracks in the wooden door and walls, warm orange light reaching into the room, stretching across the dark floor and across the shadow of Narushige's form.
"The lamp went out," he said.
"Yes," Narushige laughed. "They have left us in here so long the oil must have run out."
Touji started to say, We should call them. Tell them. They might let us out. Except he couldn't say it, didn't really want to. Even though it was dark and he couldn't see and he hated that, he'd asked Narushige to kiss him and he wasn't about to let Narushige get away with not giving him an answer.
"It's lighter over by the door," Touji announced, which was the truth anyway. "I'm coming over there." And he had stood up and was carefully stepping out of the bath before Narushige could protest.
"Touji, that's dangerous!" he said, and, "You might slip again!" Touji could hear him standing up over the other side of the room, taking a couple of steps away from the door.
"S'okay," Touji said, slowly sliding his foot forward until he found the edge of the step leading up to the bath. "I'm used to the dark." Narushige was silent for a moment, still, and Touji was beginning to regret having said anything when Narushige spoke.
"You can help me then, because I'm not." His voice was warm, and there was laughter there, and even though Touji couldn't see it he knew that Narushige was smiling at him.
Then Touji promptly tripped over his own feet and stumbled, unbalanced, colliding not unforcefully with Narushige's chest.
*
"Err," Touji said, wondering exactly just how much Narushige was laughing at him.
"I think you spoke too soon," Narushige said, and in the dark Touji could see his eyes this close, and they were looking at him with such intensity that it almost made Touji want to look away. But Touji could feel Narushige's long hands still wrapped around his lower arms, not letting him go, and Touji was glad for that.
"Yeah, I," Touji tried, but all he could think of was how Narushige had held him, just for a second, when his balance was all wrong and there was skin beneath his cheek and Narushige's arms around his back then moving down to hold on to his arms. His fingers gently brushing over his sides, over his elbow, and it made Touji feel hot and cold all at once in a way he never has before. He thought; he should thank Narushige for not letting him fall on the floor for the second time in one day, which is clumsy even for him. He thought; he should move away, he should go to the other side of the room, he should not want Narushige to touch him, to kiss him. But instead Touji took hold of Narushige's arms too and looked at him and looked at him until Narushige's amused smile softened to something more fond.
Touji," he said, and it sounded like a sigh, but neither of them let go.
"It's not because," Touji said quickly. "Because of." He nodded his head in the direction of the door, forgetting for a moment that Narushige can't really see him that well, but Narushige seemed to understand because his grip tightened and Touji could just about see him shaking his head.
"Then I'm," Narushige paused, inched forward, his hands slowly sliding up Touji's arms, over muscle and skin and cold water to rest on his shoulders. "Glad."
They were close enough then that Touji could feel Narushige's breath on his nose, on his lips, and he was relieved that his hands were shaking only a little bit when he rested them on Narushige's hips.
"Should we," Touji started, but couldn't bring himself to ask because he thought it would sound like begging or whining or like he's not sure what he's doing, which he's not but Narushige shouldn't know that. So instead he curled his fingers around Narushige and tugged him forward so that their toes met and their lips pressed together, and Touji was glad he did because it's like something has broken, or been fixed, because then Narushige was pressing Touji against the wall, bodies warming against each other, and Narushige's hands were on his neck, drawing lines across his scalp, fingers running through his hair.
Narushige pulled back for a moment, smiling at Touji and his eyes were so kind and so happy that Touji wanted to tell him; "I love you," and "I love this," and "I want to do this with you forever." Except he had no breath to tell him so he kissed him instead. Touji pressed his lips against Narushige's and tasted salt there, felt Narushige run his tongue over his in reply and knew then that Narushige wanted this too.
It felt exhilarating, it felt like closeness and friendship, and it felt like this was how they were supposed to be, with Narushige pushing his thigh between his legs, with his hands on the sides of his face, with his mouth pressing soft kisses against his neck and his tongue trailing over his collarbone and along his shoulders. Touji wanted this, wanted more, so he slid his arms up Narushige's back, his fingers splayed against the soft skin, then shifted his legs, turning them around so that his hands were trapped between Narushige's spine and the wall. Narushige lifted his head, his eyes half-closed but watching Touji, his lips parted and Touji wanted to get closer, to show Narushige everything he felt, so he took Narushige's mouth again, played his tongue along teeth and the inside of his mouth, and drove their bodies together until they were both panting. He thought he could hear Narushige sigh and breathe his name between kisses, and wondered vaguely if he was doing the same.
Then Narushige's fingers were slipping down his back, massaging and stroking, and Touji couldn't stop his hips grinding against Narushige's and it was almost a shock when Narushige pushed back, bringing them into closer contact. They were so close, then, that Touji thought he could feel everything, from the damp strands of Narushige's hair plastered against his face, to his mouth, to his chest, to his toes. And as Narushige slid a hand gently over the bruise on his backside, down to his thighs, to their crushed hips; as he kissed Narushige, as he puffed hot breaths in his ears and ran his tongue over his neck, there was no way he could ever have noticed the door opening, just a fraction, and a soft chuckle before the door was slid closed again. But this time left unlocked.
.End.
Next: Kou As Voyeur Y/Y?
Comments and Concrit, as ever, welcome and much appreciated. Particularly considering the epic effort it took to edit and code this bitch.
What I do have, however, is Silver Diamond fic, because I am strange and obsessed like that. As most people won't know this series, and don't realise just how beautiful and gay the pairing of my fic (which is an unusal pairing in an obscure manga) are, I have provided a slightly unskillfully thrown together banner for reference purposes. Thanks to cienna for her help, but it doesn't make up for my lack of photoshop skillz. Still, pretty is pretty, so enjoy!
Title: Doubt Is Not Like This
Words: 6,231
Rating: PG, for nekkidness and a bit of kinky snogging
Summary: Silver Diamond, Narushige/Touji. Narushige and Touji are good friends. Kou has other ideas.
Thanks to cienna for the beta. All remaining mistakes mine. I lost custody of Narushige and Touji in a viciously fought court battle and thus they aren't mine.
.Doubt Is Not Like This.
The first half of the first hour was pretty much like any other.
They had eaten and talked and somehow Rakan had managed to get Chigusa to do the washing up as Narushige arranged the futons carefully and muttered conspiratorially with Kou.
Their hosts for the night were less nosy than most, which made Touji think that maybe they were scared of them. Well, of Chigusa anyway. So they were pretty much left alone which meant that Touji was, he thought, doomed to yet another bath with Chigusa in the noble cause of preserving Rakan's virtue. Or something. It had all made sense earlier when Narushige had carefully and slowly explained to Touji Why Rakan Must Never Bathe With Chigusa, even though Touji had the growing suspicion that Rakan wasn’t as innocent as he looked.
So Touji was not a little surprised when Narushige announced they were bathing together, making Kou giggle and Touji confused.
"Chigusa promised not to do anything strange," Narushige explained, nodding his head confidently. Then he folded his arms and looked at the floor, smiling sadly. "We trust him," he said, and Touji nodded in agreement and thought that maybe he understood.
*
The second half of the first hour went something like this:
"I can hear laughing," Touji said, left ear pressed up against the warm, worn wood. He grimaced. "Giggling," he clarified. "It sounds like Kou."
Narushige sighed, leaning against the side of the bath. "I should have known he was up to something."
Touji turned to look at him, feeling hot and uncomfortable and very naked. "Why?" he asked slowly.
Narushige frowned, shaking his head. "I can't remember the last time Kou didn't want to take a bath with me, but he said Rakan had asked him to help with something and I thought..." Narushige shrugged and turned to look away. "Maybe I did something wrong," he added quietly.
"I don't know," Touji said. "Kou doesn't sound very upset or angry or anything to me."
He pressed his ear closer, hearing a new voice. "I can hear him talking to Chigusa," he told Narushige. This seemed all too suspicious to Touji. "I think he must be in on this too."
"But why would they lock us in?" Narushige asked, pushing himself upright and moving to stand beside Touji, listening at the door. "Unless!" he said, startled by something, and Touji automatically stood upright, on alert, hand going to the knife that he remembered was actually not there only when his hand hit his own flesh. "Chigusa!" Narushige hissed, and he looked as annoyed as Touji had ever seen him. And Touji was guiltily grateful that Narushige was too focused to have noticed his mistake.
"He must have lied! He’s done this to get Rakan to himself." He pressed his hands to the door, tried to slide it open again, but that hadn’t worked the first time and it would still not budge.
"But Chigusa said he wouldn’t..." Touji began, confused, and watched as Narushige's frown deepened. He sighed, let go of the door and turned to face Touji.
"You're right," he said, with conviction. "The door must be broken." He nodded, tapped on the door and called:
"Rakan-kun? Chigusa? Kou? The door is broken and Touji and I can’t get out. Can you get help?"
There was silence for a moment then something that sounded suspiciously like Kou snickering. From the look on Narushige's face that clearly wasn’t the reply he had expected.
"Maybe they can't hear us?" Touji said, although he didn't believe that at all.
*
By the end of the first hour Narushige was getting worried and Touji's fingers were so wrinkled he was beginning to suspect he would never be able to fire his bow ever again.
"It must be our hosts," Narushige concluded finally after sitting cross-legged on the floor scowling deeply for a very very long time. "They must have drugged them, or made them lock us in."
"Why would they do that though?" Touji asked remembering the completely harmless-looking old grannies who had happily, if creakily, welcomed them and shown them around their grand, if slightly weary-looking, home.
Narushige tilted his head, gathering up his long hair over his right shoulder. It was probably the extended warmth and damp making him weird but Touji couldn't stop looking at the way Narushige's hair stuck to his chest and to his neck, flattened and soggy and dripping; the way it left water trails across Narushige’s skin as he pulled it away from his body.
"It’s true they didn’t seem the type," Narushige said thoughtfully. "But sometimes you never can tell. Things that seem weak or old or beautiful can sometimes be the worst things of all." He smiled sadly in a way that, if he were clothed, Touji would definitely have hugged him. But they were still naked and Touji had retreated back into the bath several minutes ago because his back was getting cold and he was getting permanent lines in his legs from sitting on the wood floor. It didn't seem to bother Narushige.
"Narushige," he said, so that Narushige would look at him and see that he was smiling his very best smile; the one that Rakan told him made him look cute. He wanted to tell Narushige that there was no way he was bad, that he'd done nothing wrong, that Touji was an idiot for saying those things to him back when they'd first met. Touji wanted to tell Narushige that he liked him as much as he liked Chigusa and Rakan, which is more than he'd ever liked anyone before. And maybe a little bit more besides because Narushige was beautiful and graceful and always nice to him. But Touji was not Rakan, who seemed to be able to tell everyone how he felt about them without (much) embarrassment. And he was not Chigusa, who could say anything to anyone because he didn’t know he wasn’t supposed to.
So instead Touji said, "I trust them," and meant it.
*
"The door isn't broken! We have not been taken over by monsters! The old grannies here haven't drugged us, poisoned us, convinced us you were impostors, or taken a strong dislike to you!" Which, incidentally, had been Touji's next theory. "We locked you in! Just so you know!" Kou finished with a very un-snake-like chuckle.
Narushige stood for a moment hands resting lightly against the door, lips slightly parted and eyes wide as though in shock, which Touji supposed he probably was.
"At least we know they're alright," Touji shrugged, leaning forward and trying to peer through a particularly large crack between the ancient slats of the door. He could just about make out Kou's form slithering up the corridor back towards their room.
"Kou!" Narushige called suddenly beside him. "Explain what is going on!" he demanded.
"He's gone," Touji told him, standing back up.
"Gone?"
Touji pointed towards the door. "Back to the room."
Narushige sighed heavily, head dropping to his chest. "I can't imagine why they won't let us out," he said, looking intently at the floor.
They stood like that, in silence, warm bath water turned cold and uncomfortable dripping off their bodies for several minutes until the inaction made Touji nervous and he had to move to the other side of the room and start tracing his hands over the walls for any possible means of escape. Again.
Touji couldn't be sure but he thought that maybe Narushige was watching him. It was odd but Touji didn't actually mind.
*
"Help me with this door, Touji," Narushige said trying to jam his fingers between the frame and the door, which made Touji grimace because that really had to hurt.
"I'm not sure our hosts would appreciate it if we broke their door," Touji said worriedly but helped anyway because Narushige could be really scary when he looked at him like that.
"Maybe they," Touji tried, not liking the creaking sound the door was making, "Have a good reason for locking us in?"
"For example?" Narushige asked shifting his legs to get better leverage, and it was then, looking at pale, long shoulders and arched back that Touji remembered he'd never actually seen Narushige without clothes on before. And certainly never for this long.
"Err," he replied, trying to look like he was helping Narushige break out without doing too much damage to the door. "Maybe they think we need to relax?"
Narushige laughed. "This is not very relaxing," he said and Touji had to agree with that, especially when he could feel several splinters burying themselves into his fingertips.
"Maybe we weren't supposed to fight it so much," he suggested. And now that he thought about it Touji really had to agree that Narushige could do with resting more often. Well, maybe they all could really. Everyday was a new trek to some new place and some new fight or argument or danger. He liked the excitement, he really did, but Touji couldn’t help but long for a day off just once in a while. So he said, "You know, it might not be a bad idea."
Narushige stiffened and turned to face Touji so suddenly and with such a thunderous look on his face that Touji took a step back in surprise, and before he knew what had happened he was flat on his back on the wet floor and his head really, really hurt.
He tried to sit up but there was a hand on his shoulder and the effort made his head hurt worse anyway.
"Touji?" he heard Narushige say from somewhere above him, then felt warm fingers against his temple. "Sorry, sorry," Narushige was saying, and he sounded so close and so worried that it made Touji nervous. "This is my fault. I'm sorry."
"S'not your fault," Touji tried to assure him, opening his eyes and they were so wet he thought that maybe he’d been crying until he remembered they were still in the bathroom. "M'okay."
"You hit your head," Narushige said, pursing his lips.
"Yeah," Touji agreed. "I'll just stay here for a minute."
He relaxed back against the floor, closing his eyes again and there was quiet for a few minutes as Touji listened to his head pounding and Narushige fidgeted beside him. Then;
"You'll catch a cold down there," Narushige said, which made Touji smile because Narushige could be such a mother.
And it was almost too easy for Touji to imagine Narushige's frown when he said:
"What are you laughing at?"
"Nothing, nothing," Touji said quickly and opened one eye to see Narushige looking down at him with a mix of concern and annoyance on his face. He smiled then because it seemed the thing to do and because Touji couldn't really remember anyone looking at him that way before; like they cared if he was in pain, or really even if he was alive. Touji wondered if Narushige ever felt like that, imagined he probably did, so he was glad when some of the annoyance fell away from Narushige's face and he smiled back at him, just a little, but it was still a smile.
"Help me up then?" Touji asked, reaching a hand up. Narushige took his arm and Touji could feel muscle and bone and cool flesh beneath his fingers. He couldn’t explain it, couldn’t place it, but Touji didn’t really want to let go.
"Are you okay?" Narushige was saying. "You look a little… red." And it was then that Touji realised he was hanging onto Narushige’s arm, staring down at his hand on Narushige's skin.
"Just, um," Touji stammered, thinking he really must have hit his head harder than he thought. "Getting my balance." He tried to shake his head but regretted it when the world sort of spun a bit. Then someone, well, Narushige, because there was really no one else in the bath with them, tugged on his arm and said:
"Sit down, Touji. You look terrible." So he sat, eyes closed with his back against the side of the bath and felt Narushige sit himself down beside him.
"We could use this as an excuse," Touji said finally, when his head had stopped being quite so loud and spinny. He drew his legs up to his chest and leaned his arms against his knees, turning his head to face Narushige.
"As an excuse?" Narushige asked, and Touji watched as he bent his head forward to look at him, one eyebrow raised.
"For them to let us out," Touji shrugged. "You could say I'm bleeding to death or something."
Narushige laughed a little but shook his head.
"I couldn’t lie," he said.
"Me neither I suppose." Touji shrugged again, thinking that if this went on long enough he certainly might learn how to.
*
Touji put his hand in the bath. "Water," he said and Narushige, predictably, nodded.
"Your go."
Touji looked around the room, even if it was a stupid thing to do, because it was not like anything new was suddenly going to magically appear in their bathroom-prison.
"I see something that begins with… B," he said.
Narushige thought for a moment, then:
"Bath," he paused. "No, wait, we had that already. Bucket."
*
By the time Touji had completely lost count of how long they had been in the bathroom Narushige was looking tired and frayed and Touji's back was hurting.
"Maybe you should go back in the water," Narushige suggested gently prodding at the growing lump on Touji's head. Touji nodded his assent but didn't move because he kind of liked Narushige looking after him this way and anyway, standing up gave him a headache. Narushige frowned at him. "I'm going to tell them to let us out. You don't look well."
"I thought we weren't using that as an excuse," Touji said.
"It is not an excuse," Narushige replied, and he let his hands fall to rest lightly on Touji's shoulders. "You should lay down."
"Could lay down here," Touji said and suddenly all he could think of was how nice it would be to stretch out on the floor with his head pillowed on Narushige’s knees and Narushige gently stroking his wet hair back and talking to him quietly and…
And Touji really didn't think it was good to look at Narushige that way. They were friends, they fought together, they kept Rakan safe together, he was like family now. It was weird though because Touji had never really thought about it before; it had just sort of happened and before he knew it he had a family who he was willing to die for. Who he would kill for. Even if Narushige could be distant sometimes he was still fun, and kind, and clever, and really really…
"That wouldn't be comfortable," Narushige said, pulling at Touji's elbow to encourage him to stand up and looking at him with a very odd expression, like he was trying to work something out or trying to read Touji's mind. Touji raised an eyebrow at him in question but Narushige just smiled and propelled him gently back towards the bath.
"I guess it's not like I can get any more wrinkly," Touji sighed, turning away from Narushige. He heard Narushige laugh and move back towards the door. Then suddenly there was a gasp and Narushige said:
"Touji!" And he sounded so shocked that Touji thought he must have done something really bad without even realising it.
"What? What?" he asked, turning back to face Narushige.
"You have…" he said, "There's a…" he tried, and frowned thoughtfully, walking slowly towards Touji and looking most decidedly at his lower back. "No wonder you said it hurt to sit down."
Touji tried to twist his head to see, but he wasn't that bendy, so he looked up at Narushige and asked:
"What is it?"
"A bruise," he said, and sort of indicated the general direction of Touji's thighs. "On your… back."
"Back?" Touji asked, and prodded his skin with his fingers.
Touji heard Narushige cough, then said:
"Um, lower." And Touji could have sworn Narushige sounded more amused than anything. Which was completely wrong because now Touji knew exactly where Narushige was looking and he could feel his face burning in embarrassment.
"Oh," Touji said, and decided the bath was definitely the best place to be right then. "Thanks," he added, although he wasn't completely sure what he was thankful for.
*
Narushige had just smiled at him indulgently after that, as Touji hid in the bath and concentrated on not blushing to death.
"Please get us out of here," he said, and thought it probably sounded very whiny but really didn’t care because he still had a headache and of course he had a bruise on his backside. Where else would he have one? And that was really going to hurt if they had to ride on Kuro's back tomorrow.
Narushige nodded and returned to the door, knocking loudly and shouting:
"Kou! Chigusa! You have to let us out!" He stopped, seemed to gather himself then called more loudly, voice sounding a little more worried and urgent. "Touji slipped and hit his head!" And if Touji hadn't really wanted to get out of the damn bathroom right then he would have been a lot more embarrassed about that too.
He heard heavy footfalls then hurrying towards them, and for a moment was so sure they would be able to finally, finally escape that he grinned madly at Narushige, who smiled back knowingly and a little bit mischievously and then leaned forward, whispering:
"I'll make sure the door stays open whilst you escape."
Touji nodded, prepared to push himself out of the water and waited.
Nothing happened.
"I think they're planning an escape," he heard Chigusa say, his voice muffled through the walls.
"And Touji’s alright?" Kou asked, and sounded so genuinely concerned that Touji almost felt guilty for lying. Except, he told himself, it wasn't really lying because if they hadn't locked him in then he wouldn't have had to plan an escape, and he wouldn't have a headache, and he wouldn't have a bruise on his backside and Narushige wouldn't be standing naked in front of him looking like he felt guilty about the whole thing too.
"He's alright. He's in the bath," Chigusa said. "And Narushige is by the door." That made Narushige take a step back in surprise, and Touji shouted:
"I am not alright! I hit my head! I have splinters! I’m bruised! And soggy!"
"He's alright," he heard Kou say with laughter in his voice, and Touji thought he might get really angry about that but for fact that it was then that he realised:
"Hang on, you can see us?" he called, and remembered just how good Chigusa's eyes could be. "You shouldn't be looking!"
Narushige was nodding vehemently in agreement. He might also have looked a bit embarrassed, but Touji couldn't be sure as his face was mostly hidden by his long hair.
"Kou asked me to check," Chigusa said.
"Check what?" Narushige asked, then frowned and added, "And you shouldn't be asking things like that, Kou."
"To check whether you and Touji were…" Chigusa began, speaking slowly, puzzled, as though they really should know this. Then Kou cut him off:
"Kissing!" he said. "You've been in there two hours and you're not even kissing yet!" Kou finished, sounding completely disgusted. "We've done all we can," he announced. "You're not coming out until you've kissed."
With that, they heard footsteps moving away from them, then silence.
Touji and Narushige looked at each other.
"Kissing?" Narushige said.
*
"Are we sure Kou hasn't been possessed?" Touji wondered, staring at the door with something like hatred. The door that had become their barrier to freedom, to towels, to .
"Is it that horrible?" Narushige asked, smiling gently. "The thought of kissing me?"
Narushige lifted one arm from the water and laid it on the edge of the bath, watching Touji carefully. And Touji suddenly felt like a very small, naughty child.
"No, no, that's not what I meant," Touji tried to explain. "It's not at all… It's not… I just thought that," he stammered, and wondered if it wouldn't just be easier to drown himself right there and then. "I didn't think you'd want to," he said, looking down at the water, which by now was really not looking as clean and they might have liked. But it was still warm and better than sitting on the floor. And it made him feel a lot less naked. "With… me," he added quietly, knowing that he was probably blushing. Again.
The water shifted around him as Narushige moved closer, putting a hand gently on his shoulder.
"If it's the only way to get them to let us out," he said, and he was so calm about it all. "Just," he started, looking away and for a moment he looked worried. "Just as friends." He shrugged as though this was not important, as though it wasn't a big thing, to kiss your friend. Which, Touji supposed, it probably wasn't. Not that he would know.
Thinking about it though, Touji couldn't help but wonder if Narushige knew. If he'd ever kissed anyone, or lots of people, or men, or women. He'd only ever seen him kiss Kou, and Touji shook his head because he really didn't want to follow that thought through.
"I suppose," he said, because Narushige was waiting for an answer and he didn't want to hurt his feelings. Anyway, it really wasn't a horrible thought at all; the prospect of kissing Narushige. Just one he'd never really considered before.
He'd thought about it now though.
"But I don't get why Kou wants us to… um… you know," Touji frowned. "That's why I think he must be possessed. Because it makes no sense."
"Makes no sense?" Narushige replied, sounding entirely too amused.
"None at all. I mean, why…" Touji began, but Narushige interrupted:
"Kou likes you," he said, and there was that sad smile again that made Touji frown and want to hug him. But, still naked.
"That doesn't explain why…" Touji said then stopped, realising what Narushige had said. "Kou likes me?" And Touji had no idea why and thought it was probably very childish but he was really happy about that.
Narushige laughed, squeezed Touji's shoulder a little. "Yes. He does. He doesn't like many people. But he likes Rakan and he likes Chigusa. And he likes you, Touji." And Narushige said his name with such clarity and focus and intensity that it made Touji want to shiver.
"So Kou wants us to kiss because he likes me?" Touji asked, not getting it at all, and is even more confused when Narushige nodded and smiled at him as though Touji had just completely understood everything. It made Touji feel really stupid, like he was missing something, which he was pretty sure he was. So he said;
"So we kiss then?"
And Narushige's answering nod and widening smile were all the reply Touji needed.
*
If Rakan had asked Touji that morning, hours ago when they were just waking up, how he thought the day would go this was not something Touji would have even considered possible. Not that he was complaining. Because Narushige's lips were soft and warm and wet, which he supposed wasn't surprising considering they were in the bath. And when it was over, after the barest touch and breath, Touji kind of wanted to have another go.
"Err," he said, wondering if it was rude to ask and wondering at himself for wanting to. "So."
"I suppose we should," Narushige said, drawing slowly back to his side of the bath. "To let us out. Tell them." He coughed and turned away, looking at the door.
"Yeah," Touji agreed, not able to take his eyes off Narushige's face because he had him and he had never kissed anyone before, and because Narushige was really, really pretty. Touji wondered how he'd missed that. Not that he was pretty, because everyone who had eyes knew that, but that he thought Narushige was pretty in a way that made his heart go faster, and his face feel red, and his hands want to touch.
Narushige coughed again, eyes momentarily turned to Touji then back to the door.
"I'll," he pointed to the door, paused, eyes shifting back to look at Touji. Touji nodded, really hoping he didn't look too disappointed or anything.
With a hint of a smile Narushige pushed himself out of the bath and made his way carefully over to the wall, water dripping down his legs and his back leaving small puddles as he went. And Touji was most definitely not watching the way Narushige's long, fine hair stuck to his shoulders, spindly and criss-crossed like the branches of one of Rakan's trees. He wasn't looking at the way Narushige's muscles shifted and slid under skin as he lifted his arm to the door, knocking twice and said loudly, slowly:
"Kou! Chigusa! You can let us out now!" as though they had wanted to be locked in all along. Touji really wasn't listening to his voice, thinking, I'd like to hear him say my name again or, I want him to tell me to kiss him again. Not at all.
And he had in no way completely missed the arrival of Kou and Chigusa and their conversation with Narushige, so that all he heard was Kou's defiant:
"No good! Neither of you are coming out here until I see tongue!"
*
"Possessed," Narushige said, his eyes wide and a little bit wild. "Definitely." Touji could only nod solemnly in complete agreement.
"You've known Kou a long time you said?" Touji asked, resting his chin on the side of the bath and watching Narushige gracefully slump to the floor, pull his knees up then wrap his arms around his legs.
Narushige nodded his head, frowning in question.
"Then," Touji explained, "You would have noticed a long time ago if he was insane."
Narushige laughed, slid his legs forward so they were stretched out and folded his hands over his lap.
"Though he's not always sensible, I never knew he would go this far," he said.
"We could just wait," Touji said, shrugging and hanging his arms over the bath edge because his hands were so wrinkly now they were getting painful. "They can't leave us in here forever. We have to move on tomorrow so they'll have to let us out eventually." He titled his head to the side thoughtfully. "Maybe Rakan will save us."
"We could," Narushige agreed, but he was looking at his hands and he looked worried about something, so Touji asked:
"What is it?"
He leaned forward to try and see Narushige's face better, to see his eyes. And as Narushige lifted his left arm to rub at his shoulder, closing his eyes, his lips slightly parted, Touji thought, Touji hoped he would suggest they kiss again. For longer. Like Kou had demanded. Because Narushige was the sensible one and he would tell Touji why it was completely sensible that they should do it; so that they could leave the bathroom, so they could get dry and get and go to bed so they were well rested for the next day and whatever new things it had in store for them. And maybe, somewhere, just a little bit, just a tiny tiny part of Touji also hoped that Narushige would say he wanted to kiss Touji again too, just for the sake of being closer, for the sake of their lips being together and their bodies close and because he liked it. So Touji couldn't help but be disappointed when instead Narushige said:
"I think I should say sorry."
Touji blinked, sat up straighter and tried to imagine what Narushige could possibly think he needed to apologise for.
"For what?" he asked, because Touji really couldn't come up with anything at all.
"For…" Narushige lifted his hand from his shoulder and stretched out his arm, the palm facing upwards in a vague sort of all-encompassing gesture. "All of this," he said.
"But you didn't have anything to do with this!" Touji insisted. "It was…", then he stopped, taking in the downward turn of Narushige's lips and his hunched shoulders. "Did you?"
Narushige frowned, but shook his head.
"No. No, I didn't," he said decisively.
"Then why…"
"But," Narushige went on quickly. "I may have said something to Kou to make him think that maybe I." And Narushige stopped, looking to his left where the lamp sat, flickering gently. Touji watched Narushige's face, the shadows and light cast across the planes of his skin by the lamp, the lines around his eyes that made Touji think Narushige looked tired, or like he was thinking carefully, or worried, or maybe all of it at once. "That you are a good friend," Narushige said, finally. "And I am thankful for that and hoped that we could," he paused again, turned to face Touji and Touji thought that he looked more embarrassed than he'd ever seen him before. "All of us," he said. "That all of us four could be better friends."
There was something in the way he spoke, or the way he looked at him, or the way he shifted his body but Touji understood then, or at least, thought he understood then, that Narushige was just maybe thinking about kissing him again too.
*
Touji would never be able to explain, later, in the next second, ever, what made him think that the best thing to say then, when Narushige was looking sad and tortured and guilty, and he was thinking that he was glad he had friends for the first time in his life, that he wanted to stay with them forever, was:
"Are we going to kiss again then?"
*
The last thing Touji saw before everything went suddenly dark and he thought, panicked, angry, worried, I'm blind again, and I'm useless again, and They won't want me anymore, was Narushige's face, his eyes cast down but bright, trying to suppress a smile.
"Oh," Narushige said, and Touji felt so relieved that he lay his forehead against the bath edge and listened to Narushige shifting somewhere in the darkness, waiting for his eyes to adjust, and just breathed. "Touji?" Narushige said, and Touji smiled at the worry in his voice, glad for the dark, knowing that Narushige couldn't see him. "Are you alright?"
Touji lifted his head, saw the light filtering in through the cracks in the wooden door and walls, warm orange light reaching into the room, stretching across the dark floor and across the shadow of Narushige's form.
"The lamp went out," he said.
"Yes," Narushige laughed. "They have left us in here so long the oil must have run out."
Touji started to say, We should call them. Tell them. They might let us out. Except he couldn't say it, didn't really want to. Even though it was dark and he couldn't see and he hated that, he'd asked Narushige to kiss him and he wasn't about to let Narushige get away with not giving him an answer.
"It's lighter over by the door," Touji announced, which was the truth anyway. "I'm coming over there." And he had stood up and was carefully stepping out of the bath before Narushige could protest.
"Touji, that's dangerous!" he said, and, "You might slip again!" Touji could hear him standing up over the other side of the room, taking a couple of steps away from the door.
"S'okay," Touji said, slowly sliding his foot forward until he found the edge of the step leading up to the bath. "I'm used to the dark." Narushige was silent for a moment, still, and Touji was beginning to regret having said anything when Narushige spoke.
"You can help me then, because I'm not." His voice was warm, and there was laughter there, and even though Touji couldn't see it he knew that Narushige was smiling at him.
Then Touji promptly tripped over his own feet and stumbled, unbalanced, colliding not unforcefully with Narushige's chest.
*
"Err," Touji said, wondering exactly just how much Narushige was laughing at him.
"I think you spoke too soon," Narushige said, and in the dark Touji could see his eyes this close, and they were looking at him with such intensity that it almost made Touji want to look away. But Touji could feel Narushige's long hands still wrapped around his lower arms, not letting him go, and Touji was glad for that.
"Yeah, I," Touji tried, but all he could think of was how Narushige had held him, just for a second, when his balance was all wrong and there was skin beneath his cheek and Narushige's arms around his back then moving down to hold on to his arms. His fingers gently brushing over his sides, over his elbow, and it made Touji feel hot and cold all at once in a way he never has before. He thought; he should thank Narushige for not letting him fall on the floor for the second time in one day, which is clumsy even for him. He thought; he should move away, he should go to the other side of the room, he should not want Narushige to touch him, to kiss him. But instead Touji took hold of Narushige's arms too and looked at him and looked at him until Narushige's amused smile softened to something more fond.
Touji," he said, and it sounded like a sigh, but neither of them let go.
"It's not because," Touji said quickly. "Because of." He nodded his head in the direction of the door, forgetting for a moment that Narushige can't really see him that well, but Narushige seemed to understand because his grip tightened and Touji could just about see him shaking his head.
"Then I'm," Narushige paused, inched forward, his hands slowly sliding up Touji's arms, over muscle and skin and cold water to rest on his shoulders. "Glad."
They were close enough then that Touji could feel Narushige's breath on his nose, on his lips, and he was relieved that his hands were shaking only a little bit when he rested them on Narushige's hips.
"Should we," Touji started, but couldn't bring himself to ask because he thought it would sound like begging or whining or like he's not sure what he's doing, which he's not but Narushige shouldn't know that. So instead he curled his fingers around Narushige and tugged him forward so that their toes met and their lips pressed together, and Touji was glad he did because it's like something has broken, or been fixed, because then Narushige was pressing Touji against the wall, bodies warming against each other, and Narushige's hands were on his neck, drawing lines across his scalp, fingers running through his hair.
Narushige pulled back for a moment, smiling at Touji and his eyes were so kind and so happy that Touji wanted to tell him; "I love you," and "I love this," and "I want to do this with you forever." Except he had no breath to tell him so he kissed him instead. Touji pressed his lips against Narushige's and tasted salt there, felt Narushige run his tongue over his in reply and knew then that Narushige wanted this too.
It felt exhilarating, it felt like closeness and friendship, and it felt like this was how they were supposed to be, with Narushige pushing his thigh between his legs, with his hands on the sides of his face, with his mouth pressing soft kisses against his neck and his tongue trailing over his collarbone and along his shoulders. Touji wanted this, wanted more, so he slid his arms up Narushige's back, his fingers splayed against the soft skin, then shifted his legs, turning them around so that his hands were trapped between Narushige's spine and the wall. Narushige lifted his head, his eyes half-closed but watching Touji, his lips parted and Touji wanted to get closer, to show Narushige everything he felt, so he took Narushige's mouth again, played his tongue along teeth and the inside of his mouth, and drove their bodies together until they were both panting. He thought he could hear Narushige sigh and breathe his name between kisses, and wondered vaguely if he was doing the same.
Then Narushige's fingers were slipping down his back, massaging and stroking, and Touji couldn't stop his hips grinding against Narushige's and it was almost a shock when Narushige pushed back, bringing them into closer contact. They were so close, then, that Touji thought he could feel everything, from the damp strands of Narushige's hair plastered against his face, to his mouth, to his chest, to his toes. And as Narushige slid a hand gently over the bruise on his backside, down to his thighs, to their crushed hips; as he kissed Narushige, as he puffed hot breaths in his ears and ran his tongue over his neck, there was no way he could ever have noticed the door opening, just a fraction, and a soft chuckle before the door was slid closed again. But this time left unlocked.
.End.
Next: Kou As Voyeur Y/Y?
Comments and Concrit, as ever, welcome and much appreciated. Particularly considering the epic effort it took to edit and code this bitch.