In Eridu Part 6b

Aug 08, 2011 00:07

Title: In Eridu

Full warnings, summary and notes at Part 1.

1. | 2. | 3. | 4. | 5. | 6a. | 6b. | 7a. | 7b.

.In Eridu.

6b.

"It is an Asag," Castiel said. He kept his voice low so that the sound didn't echo around the room. In the far corner, Enlil was talking to a bunch of Elders. They kept looking over at them with strange looks. None angry or vengeful though, so Enki let himself relax slightly. "When it's released it brings ruin," Castiel went on. "It is both omen and instigator."

Enki hadn't even asked anything, and maybe that was the point.

Cas was laid on the cold stone of the temple floor, Enki sitting next to him, and for a long time they hadn't said a word to each other. Cas looked wiped but the burns were healing and the bruises were almost gone, and Enki was glad for that.

"You can't stop it," Castiel said. "And neither can I."

The way Castiel closed his eyes and turned his head away made Enki think that maybe he wanted to though.

"It's a monster, right?" Enki asked. In the lore, somewhere in the past, he was sure he'd heard the name- Asag- before. It was a stone creature, he remembered. It was so hideous it made rivers boil. It hadn't been seen since before the time of the gods. "If it's a monster, we can kill it. That's what we do." There was nothing he'd ever come across that couldn't be weakened, hurt and ultimately killed.

"You can't." Castiel sounded so tired and so resigned that Enki put a hand lightly on his shoulder. He kind of wished they'd met under better circumstances. That Cas really did look like this young priest instead of just inhabiting his body, his true self an unknown thing that, according to Castiel, would burn his eyes out if he saw it. Enki remembered those wings, arching black shapes across the temple walls in Eridu, filling the room. Sometimes, Enki caught Cas looking over his shoulder and he couldn't help wondering if Castiel was checking his wings were still there or something.

"You know we have to try." Cas had been travelling with Enki and his brother long enough to know that they'd never just let this go. They'd never give up and run away. He wasn't even sure they could anymore. When they'd been moving Cas from outside of the library into the temple he'd heard some of the junior priests talking and what they'd said hadn't been encouraging; a messenger hadn't been able to find a way down to the lowlands, all the roads and paths flooded. The steady stream of refugees making the trek up to the city had trailed off to nothing. Enki didn't want to think about what that meant.

Instead, he turned to watch his brother. Enlil was arguing with the Head priest, a small, over-fed man with a red face who frowned sternly at them all. Enki guessed it had something to do with the binding spell because Enlil kept pointing emphatically at Cas. They'd decided after the library that the spell had to go. It weakened Castiel, ultimately the reason he was lying here now on the floor of a temple looking small and human, without the strength to even sit up.

He gave him water and Castiel drank for the first time Enki had ever seen. He sighed in relief at the taste and thanked Enki. As night came Castiel had shivered, his teeth chattering, and Enki had found dry furs and draped them over Castiel and around himself and shouted at Enlil to wear them too. They'd all been cold for so long. Enki had marvelled at the feel of something that wasn't sopping wet against his skin. It was still kind of weird not to have the steady beat of rain against his face and his shoulders and his arms. He would swear he could still hear the hissing sound of rain falling around him.

Cas hadn't said anything but Enki knew the spell was preventing him from healing too. Enki had heard stories of Guardian spirits skewered by arrows and spears who had walked away without a scratch. Carved into the walls in front of him a great winged figure almost seemed to glare down at Enki and he had to admit that yeah, okay, this was kind of his fault. Except where Cas had started it. Everything was all so fucked up.

But now Cas had told him what was responsible for drowning their world, maybe he'd tell them how to stop it too. With Cas at full power maybe they'd even succeed.

Even with his head turned away Cas somehow picked up on what Enki was about to ask because he said, "Don't ask me to help you." Enki was fairly certain Cas couldn't read his mind but he still shifted uncomfortably.

"Why'd you tell me about the Asag then? Why bother?" Enki demanded to know.

"To convince you there is nothing you can do." Then Cas did turn to look at Enki and shit, his eyes. "I could take you and Enlil away from here," he offered and Enki couldn't decide if he loved him for that or hated him. He knew what his answer should be. He knew what answer everyone would expect of him, but he could save Enlil and he could save himself and maybe he would get to see Castiel again. He couldn't leave while there was a chance though. Not while there was still hope.

Enki shook his head and was going to tell Castiel that no, that wasn't how they did things, but then Enlil hurried over and crouched down beside them. He had a triumphant smile on his face, the kind he that told Enki he'd worked something out, like when he knew what they were up against and how to defeat it.

"The head priest says he knows something that might undo the spell," he announced, and grinned triumphantly down at Cas. "You'll be okay, man." And shit but Castiel smiled back. It wasn't much, but it was something and it was real, like actual human emotion.

Sounding relieved, Castiel said, "Thank you, Enlil."

"You gonna disappear on us?" Enki asked. "When the spell isn't there anymore?" He wanted to believe Cas was going to hang around and save them. When it came to it, Enki thought, he wouldn't let them die.

"I should." It wasn't an answer but then in the whole time Enki had known Cas, he hadn't given a single straight reply. It sounded to Enki like Cas didn't know what to do.

They waited as the head priest approached, dressed in all his finery of gold and purples. He bowed low to Castiel, so much so that his perfect white robes touched the muddy floor. Enki wondered how he'd managed to stay clean for so long. The priest looked awed and wary. He had, after all, been one of the priests who had encouraged them to bind Castiel.

"I apologise for our audacity," he said, his voice trembling. "We beg the forgiveness of Heaven."

How the head priest could find Cas even slightly scary like this Enki didn't know. His eyes were half-closed, tired, his arms streaked with mud and ash where they lay against the skins. His hair was a mess, like he's just woken up. Not exactly a picture of divine retribution. But then, they were about to give him back all his strength and what he did then was anyone's guess. It was weird but Enki didn't believe Cas would hurt any of them.

The head priest carried a bowl, enamelled with intricate spells and Enki recognised it as being almost identical to the bowl he'd spilt blood in to bind this spell. Back then Enki very clearly remembered saying this was a bad idea.

With his free hand, the priest drew a knife from his belt and Enki sighed because he really should've seen that coming. He offered up his palm. Out the corner of this eye Enki could see that Castiel was watching him.

The priest hesitated, the blade hovering above the flesh of Enki's hand. He was staring at him, looking uncertain. Priests, Enki had often found, particularly those high up in the order, were more concerned with keeping their own skin intact than pretty much anything else.

Enki nodded and even though the priest didn't look convinced he closed his eyes, began speaking under his breath. Enki winced when he felt the pinch of the knife along his palm.

He didn't know if freeing Cas would help save them. They should've been spending what time they had left looking into where this Asag thing was and finding a way to kill it. But first Enki would release Cas from this binding spell because he wasn't cruel, and somewhere along the road to Girsu Enki had started thinking of him as a friend.

It was a long time before the priest fell silent and all the while he drew off more and more of Enki's blood until he felt dizzy and sick. The incense wasn't helping. But Cas was there beside him, a solid presence, leaning into Enki's touch, and with every drop of Enki's blood and every word the priest chanted Castiel looked stronger, colour returning to his face, the burns along his arms receding.

The air in the room became heavy and oppressive and Enki remembered this from before too, when they'd first summoned Castiel and he'd been something blindingly bright and unknowable. There was no light this time. It wasn't so much that the light in the room lessened, but more that colour itself dimmed so that the world looked grey and flat. It was freaky as hell. Enki had to rub at his eyes because everything around him was merging into one dark mass of indistinguishable shapes. Whatever was happening set his teeth on edge, made the hair rise on his arms. Where he touched Cas's shoulder was warm.

The priest resumed his chants, faster and louder and less like language and more like sounds. There was a tearing sound, a splitting, and Enki thought for a moment it was the building falling down around them. Again. Suddenly the sound cut off, the air tasted familiar again, and colour returned to the world, vivid and almost overwhelming after its absence.

No one spoke. No one moved. The only sound came from the pounding of rain against the door, the crackle and hiss of the lamps casting flickering shadows across the decorated walls.

Castiel sat up and Enki let his hand fall away. There was something different about him; his presence suddenly distant and removed and Castiel looked up towards the ceiling, tilting his head as though he were listening. He was cut off from Heaven, he'd said, and Enki wondered if that's what he was listening to now. If Heaven was ordering him to kill them all.

Enki found himself weirdly pleased when Castiel looked back down and straight at him, staring in that familiar freaky way. At least, Enki though, Castiel remembered who he was even now that he was an all-powerful Guardian spirit again.

In that same voice that wasn't his voice at all, Castiel said, "Enki."

"You're not gonna smite us then?" Enki quipped, because it was easier than thinking that Castiel might.

Cas gave one of his almost-smiles in reply, and it was good to have evidence that he still felt. "No."

Reaching out, Castiel's fingertips touched Enki's cheek, light and warm and Enki could feel his head clearing, the sick feeling of losing too much blood and being too hungry and cold for too long and walking too far and breathing in smoke, all gone in an instant. For the first time in days, maybe in weeks, Enki actually felt pretty good. Pulling himself to his feet was easier than it had been in years. Enki grinned, "Thanks," and meant it.

He offered a hand to Castiel, still sitting underneath the piles of pathetic skins he'd scraped together and Castiel took it. There was no way Cas actually needed the help; Enki could feel the strength of his grip, and he watched as Castiel stood with a fluidity and grace he didn't think he'd ever seen in a human. It was weird though, because Cas still had the same messed up hair and the same muddy, burnt clothes. Maybe be just didn't care about his appearance. Maybe it was beneath him.

This was it, Enki thought, and even though he didn't want to ask he knew he had to. "You sticking around?"

Castiel's eyes turned sad but he didn't look away when he replied, "You know I can't."

"I really don't." Enki shook his head and then Cas did look away.

"I must leave this place."

What he wasn't saying, but what Enki could hear anyway, was, Come with me.

Enki shook his head again.

Close by, Enki could feel Enlil and the head priest watching them. He had responsibilities. He couldn't let his world die without a fight.

From the way Castiel straightened, as though he were stretching limbs Enki couldn't see- wings, Enki realised- he understood that Castiel was readying himself to leave. After everything, Enki couldn't just let it end like this. There was nothing much left to lose anyway.

"Tell us where the Asag is? Tell us how to kill it?" Enki begged, because the air was shifting in the room and Enki knew that Cas would be gone in a breath. He's never once begged before. Not for anything. He'd never imagined he would, but if ever there was a time to forget his pride it was now.

"Don't ask me that," Castiel said, seeming to sink back into himself, and for the first time Enki wondered what would happen to the young priest Castiel had been wearing for the past few days when he left. Cas had been burnt and stabbed and he hadn't eaten, nor drunk, nor slept. He hoped the poor guy hadn't felt any of it.

"I have to, Cas. Tell me," Enki insisted. "Please."

"You can't kill it. I can't kill it." He was looking to the side again, the way he always did when he didn't know what to say. When he didn't want to face what Enki and Enlil and the rest of the world were facing.

Enki had no sympathy. He started this, and Enki was going to make him finish it. "We've been through these arguments." They had. A hundred times over and Enki was sick of them.

"I'd be sending you to your death." There was something a little satisfying about how horrified Cas sounded at the thought.

"Instead of just leaving us to our death?" Enki snorted unkindly. He didn't want them to end like this. "If you don't do anything else, at least send me and Enlil to this thing."

He glanced at his brother and Enlil gave a nod. It was good to know that even if all they were doing was going to get themselves ripped to shreds Enlil would at least be there with him.

Cas actually looked distraught. He glanced upwards before looking right back at Enki.

"You'll die," he said.

"We will anyway," Enki pointed out, and he could see the resignation in Cas's eyes, the sadness of his expression.

Castiel nodded, and motioned for Enlil to join them. "Its skin is impenetrable," he told them as he reached his hands out towards their foreheads. "Its eyes are its weakest points," and without so much as a goodbye the world shifted and changed and in an instant they were somewhere else, and Castiel was no longer with them.

***

Everything Enki could remember about Asag amounted to very little. Even Enlil, who usually found it easy to hold all the stuff they'd ever heard in his head, didn't have much more to offer.

They didn't like sunlight, Enki knew that much, but then neither had the Rabisu and Enki and Enlil had fought a whole bunch of those in broad daylight recently. With the world turned so upside down it was impossible to know what to expect.

Castiel had sent them to the mountains, high up on a rock face looking down over a flooded valley. Here, wherever they were, the rain fell in sheets, a steady pounding of water that set streams running fast around their feet, hurrying down the steep slope. Enki worried that the hillside was unstable, the stone shifting beneath them making it difficult to keep their balance. In an instant they were soaked through again and cold; colder than anywhere else Enki could ever remember being and he felt himself start to shiver. They'd left their cloaks behind. They'd left everything behind except their weapons and Cas's blessing. Enki could still feel the light touch of Cas's fingers on his forehead, the only part of him that still felt warm. When it came down to it Enki trusted that Cas wouldn't put them anywhere dangerous before they'd even had a chance to see this monster so he ignored the instability and the sliding rock and mud and looked around.

The mountainside was an expanse of grey stone and rocks, uneven and sharp-edged. There were caves higher up and Enki guessed that was where the monster had hidden itself away. He looked to Enlil.

"We going up there?" Enlil already had his knife drawn, his feet planted wide, ready to fight.

There was no life here. Nothing green, no birdsong, just the sounds of the rain and rushing water and the shifting of stone against stone, crunching under his feet. Suddenly a roar- a scream- like nothing Enki had ever heard before cut through the quiet. No human could've made that sound.

Enki reached for his own knife. "Or maybe it'll come to us."

The sky looked washed out, faded to a colour as grey as the mountain slopes so that one bled into the other. It was a shitty place to die, Enki thought.

Another howl echoed out from the caves. Enki couldn't pinpoint where or how close but he knew they wouldn't have to wait long before it came to the fight. This was stupid, Enki thought. Reckless. They didn't even know if they could kill the Asag with the weapons they had. There'd been no time for research, no possibility anyway with the library burnt to the ground. They'd made surviving impossible odds the habit of a lifetime though and Enki just hoped their luck would hold. Now, too, there was Cas. There was a chance he would still come. That he wouldn't let them die.

Enlil said, "Enki," and his little brother, who wasn't so little anymore and hadn't been in a long time, looked at Enki like he was on the verge of saying something stupid like goodbye.

"Shut up, Enlil," Enki ordered. "We'll get through this. We always do, right?"

Enlil didn't look so sure, his lips thinning in annoyance. It was such a familiar expression that Enki could almost believe this was any other hunt on any other day. Enki refused to believe they were going to their deaths. If they died, their world drowned. After all the crap they'd gone through and everyone they'd loved and watched die over and over again, if they failed now it would all have been for nothing.

The roaring of the creature was so loud now it hurt Enki's ears. Above them stones started to shift and slide down the mountainside. It might've been from the sound, but more likely it was caused by the weight of the monster and Enki had to wonder how big this thing was. He remembered something about multiple eyes and arms and claws and Enki had a feeling the monster was going to be massive.

They should've brought spears, Enki found himself thinking. Spears and throwing slings and fire, even if it would never have stayed alight in the rain. Maybe a battering ram.

"I just wanted to say-" Enlil persisted, and Enki cut him off.

"Don't you fucking dare."

"But I just want you to know-" Enlil tried again but whatever he was going to say was lost when the creature roared again, bellowed, and this time the entire mountain shook.

It was hard not to give in to the urge to cover his ears and even more difficult to stay on his feet, but Enki did and beside him Enlil kept his footing too.

They kept their eyes fixed on the caves and then they saw it. And oh fuck, but it was huge.

Huge and ugly, a mess of all the wrong limbs attached at odd angles to its long, snake-like body. Its skin- if you could call it skin- was as grey as the sky and the mountains around them and Enki wondered if this thing meant to turn the world into an image of itself.

It moved freakishly fast for something so big.

It had eyes all over its body, yellow and unblinking and every single one of them was turned to the sky, unconcerned about the rain. The eyes were the weakest point, Castiel had said, and there were, at least, a lot of them to work with.

Without needing to look the creature knew where they were because its great bulk headed straight for them.

"This is it," Enki said, steadying himself. He'd picked up a bag of salt at the temple and he felt his belt to check it was still secure, made sure his second knife was in its place. All of it seemed so tiny in comparison to the thing bearing down on them. He threw Enlil a quick grin because if he was going to die here then he wasn't going to die afraid.

For the first time in his life Enki prayed. Not to the gods, because what the fuck would they care, but to Castiel who he knew and didn't mind hanging around and would like to see again. He prayed for help and he prayed for his brother and he prayed for the world and everyone in it. What's the point? he prayed to Cas. If people don't exist, what's the point?

Enki wondered what would happen if they failed; if he and Enlil died and the creature lived, would the rains ever stop or would the entire universe fill with water until there was nothing left at all? And then, would Castiel get his feet wet? His wings? Would he even notice if the world was gone?

The ground shook again as the monster howled, and what the fuck did it have to complain about anyway? Maybe it was territorial, Enki considered. Maybe it just didn't like humans. It was definitely taking offense to their presence, striking out at them so fast that Enki had to roll away, stones cutting into the palms of his hands and his knees.

The Asag took a swipe at him with one of its long, thick arms, catching him as he tried to stand up and damn but it was like being hit by rock. Enki felt himself thrown back, landing hard against the ground and this was not a good start.

Just in time, Enki caught sight of another arm coming towards him and he scrambled back, throwing himself to the ground and hoping that Enlil was having more success. Or at least that he was spending less time on his ass and more time actually fighting the thing.

Enki stayed down, looking to see which eye would be easiest to target. There was one that was watching him from just below one of the creature's arms and that had to be the creepiest thing Enki had ever seen.

Before he could second-guess himself Enki leaped up and stabbed his knife deep into the tender, wet flesh of the eye. It gave way easily under the blade, splitting and popping and Enki had time to feel satisfaction for all of an instant before the creature was screaming so loudly Enki's head felt like it was going to cave in on itself. It made him dizzy and he stumbled back, disoriented, not able to defend himself when the Asag swept him aside with a solid arm to Enki's stomach. He felt the air punched out of his lungs and the pain of rock hitting his back.

Enlil, he thought. And then, Brilliant fucking idea, Cas.

Enki shook his head, trying to clear it, checking he still had his knife in his hand, and somehow against all reason, it was still there.

A sickeningly foul smell filled the air and Enki realised the creature was pretty much right in his face. What he guessed were the jaws of its mouth snapped at him, thin needles that must've been its teeth flashing in front of him. Enki didn't even think before he was reaching for the salt tied to his belt, tugging at it desperately as the monster tried to fucking eat him. With his knife, the blade clinking and rebounding against teeth and skin as hard as rock, Enki tried to hold the thing off but he could feel it ripping and tearing at the vulnerable skin of his arm and oh holy shit it hurt.

He thought maybe he heard Enlil's voice shouting his name but it was hard to tell when he was already half-deafened and all his concentration was focused on staying alive.

Finally, fucking finally, the string came loose and Enki tossed the bag as far back into the creature's mouth as he could. For way too long it didn't make any difference and Enki was sure he was going to lose his arm. It was shredded and there was so much blood and Enki didn't want to even look at it. Mostly he was surprised he could still keep a grip on his knife, let alone continue slashing at the creature's mouth, hoping that maybe there was something inside that was soft and vulnerable. But the blade just kept hitting solid stone. It was useless.

Then suddenly the monster stopped moving. A deep gurgling sound erupted from somewhere at the back of its throat like it was choking and it reared back. In that instant Enki felt hands hook under his shoulders tugging hard and pulling him clear as the Asag used its whole head to pound at the ground exactly where Enki had been sitting.

Enlil, Enki realised. Enlil had saved him from getting crushed to death. He looked at his brother. There was blood on his face and he was empty-handed, no knives tucked in his belt. Weaponless.

"Enki-" Enlil said.

"He'll come." Enki was sure of it. He hadn't realised until that moment how much he'd been relying on it.

There was no time for Enlil to reply before the creature was surging forward, its huge mouth snapping at them, enraged.

The salt hadn't slowed the creature. It didn't look like it had done much at all except to make it really mad.

Cas, Enki prayed, letting Enlil drag him further away, trying to get his feet under him on the unstable ground. He tried to ignore the way the rock slipped and slid away under his feet. Now he was really starting to feel the pain in his arm. It was bleeding too much, red mixing with the rain to create a trail as they stumbled out of the creature's reach.

It was difficult to concentrate, and Enki was aware that Enlil was saying something but he couldn't hear it over the sound of his own blood rushing through his ears. And the pounding rain.

Fuck, he was so sick of the rain.

From what Enki could make out Enlil was trying to get around the Asag, maybe trying to take the higher ground. Definitely trying to get away from the monster's jaws.

"Take my knife," Enki urged. He wasn't convinced his fingers would be able to grip it anymore anyway. As unhelpful as it was proving to be he had a spare tucked in his belt too.

"It's useless," Enlil panted. He was taking a lot of Enki's weight, constantly on the move, trying to avoid the creature's claws and the twisting of its body. "Its skin is hard as rock."

"The eyes," Enki told him. "I got a knife in one." Not that it had helped but it was something. They just needed to get close. It wasn't like they had any other options.

Enki tried to straighten himself up, stand on his own feet. He pressed his knife into Enlil's hand, grimacing at the pain it caused to move his wrecked arm even a little. That knife had always brought him luck. It'd never let him down and it made Enki feel better to know Enlil had it.

His other knife was much older and had once been their dad's. Enki kept its blade sharp and the sigils along its handle and metal clean.

"Eye closest to its head?" Enlil suggested.

"Together," Enki agreed.

This wasn't the end, Enki tried to tell himself even if Enlil was looking at him like he was trying to say goodbye again. Enki looked away. "Let's do this." He sounded one hell of a lot more confident than he felt but Enlil needed to believe they could do this. In the back of his mind Enki knew he was still waiting for Cas to show up. He shouldn't, he knew that. Cas was a supernatural being and he had said repeatedly he wouldn't help them. But Enki still believed he would save them like he had in the burning library.

"Yeah," Enlil said.

Somehow Enki managed to find the strength to dodge the creature's arms and its tail and its mouth as he and Enlil tried to find a way to get in close. Pushing aside the pain and the dizziness and the doubt Enki took the first opening he saw in the curve of the creature's body, its eye exposed and its arms a relatively safe distance away. In that moment Enki launched himself forward and trusted that Enlil would follow.

This time he knew to expect the flesh of the eye to give easily under his blade and Enki pushed in further, sickened by the way he could feel the eye trying to move and the cold wetness of thick liquid surrounding his hand.

Moving in quickly to stand beside him, Enlil stabbed down and Enki watched as his brother's face screwed up in disgust, his arm disappearing into the eyeball. Any other time the expression would've made Enki laugh.

Beneath them the monster tried to jerk away but Enki hung on and Enlil did the same. If they were knocked loose he knew the creature would easily be able to reach them, to crush them or eat them or rip them apart. They were both tiring fast. Enki's arm was too badly cut up to stop bleeding without help. He could feel warm blood sliding thickly across his skin. To make it worse his other arm, driven deep inside the creature's eyeball, was starting to burn. Its flesh, Enki reflected, was probably poisonous.

He tried cutting at where the eye met stone hard skin, tried stabbing deeper inside, frantic and not able to get at anything vital. Enlil was having about the same luck, which was none at all.

Then the Asag heaved its whole body and the movement dislodged them both, knocking them both sideways onto their asses. Enki scrambled away, unsure of his footing or his balance, and when he turned back Enlil was still there. His brother clung to the monster, stabbing over and over and Enki could see how mangled the eye was now; just a mess of ripped flesh, yellow puss streaming from gaping wounds. Enlil stood his ground, reaching right inside the eye, trying to do damage. As he drew his knife back the creature pulled away sharply. It swung back its entire bulk at Enlil, trying to push him away. As the creature's body impacted against Enlil, Enki heard more than saw the knife his brother was holding hit the Asag's skin and shatter.

"Enlil!" Enki called out. It wouldn't help, he knew, but he had to try to warn his brother. He could see the monster raising its arm, aimed straight for Enlil. His brother had turned away, been forced to his knees and he trying to stand and oh god there was no way Enki could stop it.

He tried anyway, rushing forward and slipping in his hurry, He pushed to his feet again all the while shouting at Enlil to fucking move. It was already too late. The creature's arm came down on Enlil and Enki watched in horror as his brother was knocked down by the full weight of the monster's strength. Over its howls and the rain and the pounding of his own blood in his ears Enki heard a sickeningly loud snap.

That wasn't Enlil, Enki told himself. Enlil was fine. His brother fell heavily to the ground and lay still and Enki told himself that Enlil was just knocked out. Nothing more. Cas could heal him now he was back to full strength.

The Asag raised its arm to crush Enlil again and Enki ran forward, shouting at the thing, cursing it, wishing he had more salt or holy water or anything. Enki narrowly avoided a swipe from another of its arms as he threw himself up against the side of its body, trying to drive his knife into the joint where an arm joined its bulk, reasoning the skin there would be softer, more flexible, and therefore vulnerable. The blade didn't break but it couldn't penetrate its hide either and Enki screamed as the arm rushed towards his brother's unmoving body.

He hated himself for looking away, for concentrating instead on the leather-like flesh of the joint, stabbing at it repeatedly. Useless. It was fucking useless.

The world, his own life, nothing meant anything if Enlil wasn't alive. After all the shit they'd been through, for them to die here was not something Enki had believed would ever actually happen. There'd always been hope. There'd always been the belief that everything would come out alright in the end.

He looked to the sky. The rain fell in his eyes, blurring his vision. Hanging uselessly at his side his arm burned, his knife gripped so tightly in his one working hand that Enki could feel every indentation in the handle, the texture of the cord bound around the hilt of the blade.

"Castiel, you asshole," he cried. "Cas! You get your ass down here right the fuck now!"

The monster- the murdering fuck- lifted its arm again and if there was a chance, if there was any chance at all that Enlil might have survived Enki had to stop it. He scrambled over to his brother and there was so much blood that Enki had to look away. He couldn't see Enlil like this. In that glimpse Enki had seen the way the back of Enlil's head had been crushed. He'd seen the unnatural angle of his neck. Enki pulled at his brother's body anyway, trying to get out of the monster's reach, because he wouldn't accept it. Enlil was too heavy, the creature was too fast, and at the last moment the only thing Enki could think to do was to shove his brother away with all his remaining strength. The next thing he knew there was agony ripping along his leg and up his back and he thought maybe he screamed and maybe he couldn't breathe. He tasted blood and rainwater.

When Enki next opened his eyes, not remembering ever closing them, he found himself almost face down, stone pressing uncomfortably against his cheek. Turning his head just slightly so he could see more than gravel and blood was agony and Enki wished he hadn't moved at all when he found himself staring into his brother's open, dead eyes. Enki blinked the rain away and couldn't stop looking. Dimly, he was aware that the monster was close and it was going to finish him, but he had no weapon and he had no strength. Every part of him was pain and cold and not much else. Enki wasn't sure he could even move. He was dying, he realised, and without Enlil he didn't really care.

Enki waited for the end. He didn't think about how he'd failed. He didn't think about what would happen to the world now, and he certainly didn't think about Cas. Castiel.

Listening now, trying to concentrate on something other than Enlil's eyes and the pain, he heard the crunching of stone. It was a strange sound when the last thing he remembered hearing was the creature's deafening roars.

He was waiting and waiting and the monster had never been this damn slow before and Enki found himself hating it. He wondered how intelligent the thing was; if it was drawing this out, taking pleasure in his slow death.

Then there were hands on him, gently turning him over. Human hands, gentle and familiar even though they'd hardly ever touched. Enki had never dared because he'd watched and he'd wondered and sometimes he'd thought about those hands and what he could teach them to do and every time Enki had known it was impossible.

Framed by a grey sky, Castiel's face looked pale, washed out and unclear. Or maybe that was just because Enki was finding it difficult to focus on anything anymore.

"Enki," he said, and there was sadness in his voice. But what right did Castiel have to be sad when he could've stopped this?

"You finally showed up." It was difficult to speak, Enki's throat somehow dry despite being pretty much drowning in water. "You're too fucking late."
It was hard to feel hate. It was hard to conjure the energy for it, but Enki was really trying.

"Enlil is dead." Enki knew he was crying. Usually this would've bothered him but what the hell. He was going to die and Castiel was the same as all the other supernatural bastards he'd ever killed.

Castiel, whose eyes he knew and who always stared at him like there was nothing else in the world, looked away. "I'm sorry."

Enki snorted, felt his breath catch painfully in his chest. There was something wrong inside of him. Probably a lot of things wrong inside of him.
"You don't even know how to be sorry," Enki accused, and Castiel didn't try to deny it.

"I told you," Castiel tried. "I told you this would be your death." Like that made it okay.

Enki was vaguely aware that Castiel was kneeling beside him, that he had Enki in his arms and pulled close up to his chest. Through the smooth fabric of Castiel's clothes Enki could feel his warmth. He watched as the red of his blood stained the material, red splintering outwards, spreading and mixing and making patterns across the white cloth.

"You could've stopped it. You could bring Enlil back, couldn't you?" It was weird how with all this pain Enki was still conscious. He was proud of how steady his voice sounded. Not like he was dying at all. "You sent the Asag away."

"I didn't," Castiel said. "It was done with you. I can't bring Enlil back."

"No." Enki wanted to shake his head but it was too heavy. Cas's fingers were pressed against the back of his neck, Enki could feel them because there was no pain there. "You won't bring Enlil back."

"It is not permitted." Still with his rules and his orders and nothing had changed. Enki closed his eyes. What the hell was the point of trying?

"So sticking with us really was just to get free," Enki sighed. He was exhausted and he wanted to sleep and he wanted the world to go away. He wanted Cas to fuck off and leave him to die in peace.

Those warm, gentle fingers stroked lines across Enki's cheeks. "It wasn't." Maybe Cas sounded like he meant it, but he wasn't even human, Enki reminded himself.

It was kind of a moot point now anyway.

"Why did you come here?" Enki asked. It seemed to Enki like maybe Cas was trying to soothe his own guilt. Like he was trying to make something right that he never could.

"Your death will be painful," he said, and Enki couldn't help laughing at that because it was just like Cas not to bother softening the truth at all. The laughter made him gasp for air, made his chest ache as though it was caving in on itself.

"Enki," he heard Cas saying. "Enki." He felt fingers brushing through his hair and lips against his lips breathing warm air into him. "I am forbidden from saving you," Cas said, and Enki heard the misery in his voice.

Enki would've liked to have said, Don't do me any favours. He would've liked to have told Cas to shove it, but whatever. It was over now anyway and Cas was close and warm and comfortable. There was one thing he wanted to ask.

Opening his eyes wasn't easy but for this he needed to see Cas. There was blood on Cas's lips and Enki would've sworn there was fear in his eyes. But maybe it was just wishful thinking, just Enki wanting to believe in these last moments that he'd gotten to Castiel after all. That the guardian spirit would mourn him. That his death would hurt him.

"Why," Enki asked, and had to stop and breathe. It was so hard to breathe. "Why do you always stare at me?"

There was a long pause and Enki had almost resigned himself to Castiel not answering when he leaned over him, bent close to his ear as though he were afraid someone would hear. Cas whispered, "Because I know you." Enki didn't know what the hell he meant, other than it sounded vaguely stalkerish. He went on, "Because we will meet again."

That would be good, Enki thought. Then he'd be able to kick Cas's ass for not saving them.

He held Castiel's gaze for as long as he had the strength, and when he couldn't keep his eyes open any longer Enki could still feel Cas there, holding him, until Enki couldn't feel anything at all.

<<6a. | 7a.>>

fic:supernatural, fic

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