though you can see me smile, I still think of the guns they sell [standalone]
Title: though you can see me smile, I still think of the guns they sell
Author: takeour_tears
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Gabe/William (past Travis/William)
POV: First; William's.
Summary: Gabe didn't know. He never knew.
Disclaimer: If this is real, then I'm the fairy godmother, which, incase you were wondering, I am not.
Author Notes: This is a birthday present for giraffessayrawr and I suppose since it has a Christmas theme, it's a Christmas present, as well? XD I don't know. EIther way, I hope you like this, Emma<3
Cut and title by My Chemical Romance.
Gabe didn't know. He never knew.
I took a clean breath of air, the cold air sending shivers down my spine. I'd never expected to come back here. Scratch that; I never wanted to come back here. It was no secret everything I'd gone through in this city and all I'd done to get away from it, but here I was, once again. Gabe had thought spending Christmas in the past would do me good, but it had managed to do, till yet, was make me feel like I was suffocating. That was exactly why I was standing outside in the snow, trying not to let the memories act as the anchor that would pull me down again.
This time, I knew I wouldn't be able to come out alive.
There were footsteps behind me, ones that I would recognise anywhere. As an arm went around my waist, I tried to relax, afraid of letting him know how much it was all bothering me. I didn't want to ruin his holidays. He deserved more than that.
"William, come inside. It's cold out here."
I gave a small nod, indicating my assent before turning my head to smile at him, earning a peck on the lips for my effort. I wondered if Gabe knew that this was just the beginning.
--
Christmas Eve.
I hadn't expected the snow to stop anytime soon, and it was obvious, as Christmas drew closer, that everything would be covered in layers of snow by the time the festivities began. It also made me realise that I still hadn't bought Gabe's gift. He deserved better than that, especially after all that he'd done for me, even if this had turned out to be the complete opposite of what I'd wanted, but I couldn't blame him, because I'd never been willing to talk about my past with him. I just didn't want him to worry. I was starting to think that maybe that hadn't been the best course of action, that maybe I should've just come clean when I'd had the chance, and now, here in this city, life had the opportunity to seize another chance.
My footsteps were muffled against the snow as I made my way into the brightly lit downtown. I had absolutely no idea as to what I wanted to buy, so I assumed that it would take at least an hour, especially with the on-going rush of all the last minute shoppers trying to the perfect gift for their loved ones, and desperately hoping that it would be enough to satisfy their duty, since all everyone really expects you to do is buy them presents and smile when they reply that it's not what they wanted. It's not what they expected, you're not what they expected.
Lost in my depressing thoughts - or as Gabe liked to call them, "artistic" - whilst browsing the shops at my disposal, I wasn't surprised when someone ended up jostling me rather harshly, but I was surprised when said person called out my name. Surprise was followed by horror when I recognised the voice. His face was something I would never be able to forget, and it was with wide eyes that I stared at him. His voice enunciating my name a second time erased the possibility of this being a hallucination.
All the unwanted memories came back. The kisses, the touches, all the pleasant things that had turned unpleasant in light what had preceded it all. His betrayal, my suicide attempt. It seemed, for a moment, like I was frozen. He was staring at me, as if he wanted to take everything back, but I wouldn't let him. The memory of Gabe with tear-stained cheeks as he found me with too many pills in my mouth filled my head, and it gave me strength. It was as if my brain had finally been reconnected with the rest of my body and I did the first thing that came to mind, the first thing I was sure was the right thing.
I ran.
From downtown to my old apartment, I ran. All I knew was that I had to get to Gabe. I didn't know anything else. I didn't want to know anything else.
I only realised I was crying when Gabe got up from his chair and hurried over to me, wiping my face with his gentle fingers. He placed soft kisses on my cheeks, eyelids, forehead. He wrapped his arms tightly around me, rocking us back and forth. His lips were at my ear, whispering. "I've got you, William. I don't know what it is, but I've got you. I'll never let you go, I'll never let you go. I love you, baby."
This time, I had Gabe.
Author: takeour_tears
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Gabe/William (past Travis/William)
POV: First; William's.
Summary: Gabe didn't know. He never knew.
Disclaimer: If this is real, then I'm the fairy godmother, which, incase you were wondering, I am not.
Author Notes: This is a birthday present for giraffessayrawr and I suppose since it has a Christmas theme, it's a Christmas present, as well? XD I don't know. EIther way, I hope you like this, Emma<3
Cut and title by My Chemical Romance.
Gabe didn't know. He never knew.
I took a clean breath of air, the cold air sending shivers down my spine. I'd never expected to come back here. Scratch that; I never wanted to come back here. It was no secret everything I'd gone through in this city and all I'd done to get away from it, but here I was, once again. Gabe had thought spending Christmas in the past would do me good, but it had managed to do, till yet, was make me feel like I was suffocating. That was exactly why I was standing outside in the snow, trying not to let the memories act as the anchor that would pull me down again.
This time, I knew I wouldn't be able to come out alive.
There were footsteps behind me, ones that I would recognise anywhere. As an arm went around my waist, I tried to relax, afraid of letting him know how much it was all bothering me. I didn't want to ruin his holidays. He deserved more than that.
"William, come inside. It's cold out here."
I gave a small nod, indicating my assent before turning my head to smile at him, earning a peck on the lips for my effort. I wondered if Gabe knew that this was just the beginning.
--
Christmas Eve.
I hadn't expected the snow to stop anytime soon, and it was obvious, as Christmas drew closer, that everything would be covered in layers of snow by the time the festivities began. It also made me realise that I still hadn't bought Gabe's gift. He deserved better than that, especially after all that he'd done for me, even if this had turned out to be the complete opposite of what I'd wanted, but I couldn't blame him, because I'd never been willing to talk about my past with him. I just didn't want him to worry. I was starting to think that maybe that hadn't been the best course of action, that maybe I should've just come clean when I'd had the chance, and now, here in this city, life had the opportunity to seize another chance.
My footsteps were muffled against the snow as I made my way into the brightly lit downtown. I had absolutely no idea as to what I wanted to buy, so I assumed that it would take at least an hour, especially with the on-going rush of all the last minute shoppers trying to the perfect gift for their loved ones, and desperately hoping that it would be enough to satisfy their duty, since all everyone really expects you to do is buy them presents and smile when they reply that it's not what they wanted. It's not what they expected, you're not what they expected.
Lost in my depressing thoughts - or as Gabe liked to call them, "artistic" - whilst browsing the shops at my disposal, I wasn't surprised when someone ended up jostling me rather harshly, but I was surprised when said person called out my name. Surprise was followed by horror when I recognised the voice. His face was something I would never be able to forget, and it was with wide eyes that I stared at him. His voice enunciating my name a second time erased the possibility of this being a hallucination.
All the unwanted memories came back. The kisses, the touches, all the pleasant things that had turned unpleasant in light what had preceded it all. His betrayal, my suicide attempt. It seemed, for a moment, like I was frozen. He was staring at me, as if he wanted to take everything back, but I wouldn't let him. The memory of Gabe with tear-stained cheeks as he found me with too many pills in my mouth filled my head, and it gave me strength. It was as if my brain had finally been reconnected with the rest of my body and I did the first thing that came to mind, the first thing I was sure was the right thing.
I ran.
From downtown to my old apartment, I ran. All I knew was that I had to get to Gabe. I didn't know anything else. I didn't want to know anything else.
I only realised I was crying when Gabe got up from his chair and hurried over to me, wiping my face with his gentle fingers. He placed soft kisses on my cheeks, eyelids, forehead. He wrapped his arms tightly around me, rocking us back and forth. His lips were at my ear, whispering. "I've got you, William. I don't know what it is, but I've got you. I'll never let you go, I'll never let you go. I love you, baby."
This time, I had Gabe.