i've been doing really well at dealing with everything. i have also decided that i want to be like i was when i was happy but better. i want to be the true me, and i'm sick of how i am right now. being in florida is either going to make or break me. i think being away from here and being in the warm sunshine will do me a great deal of good. i plan ( Read more... )

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i got a new shirt and a new pillow today.. and i was going to get some kickfuckingass converse shoes (two pairs actually) but did they have my fucking size NO.. fuckwads..

heh. i own you.

so yes.. new layout coming soon.

i have so much anger in me right now.. and i'm so stressed and lonely.. and upset. but i can't get myself to let it out. at all.

this is killing me.

i need to hear his voice.

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quoting from ada's diary:

brittany and i have a suicide pact. we;re going to steal a car, design a pretty facade, and crash somewhere.

indeed.

sitting and dwelling on things is not making them go away. it's not making them any better ( Read more... )

i can feel content, have a smile on my face, and still feel like i'm in a million bloody pieces laying in some dirty disgusting puddle in the middle of the street. just waiting for someone to come by and smash me into the pavement, erasing me from existence ( Read more... )

i am not:shallow. i hurt:emotionally. i love:billy. i hate:my uncle. i fear:spiders. i hope:for true love to find me. i hear:tom hanks speaking. i crave:affection. i regret:doing drugs. i cry:everyday. i care:too much. i always:put myself down. i long to:be held. i feel alone:every minute i'm without billy. i listen:intently. i hide:my feelings. i ( Read more... )

no matter how much i am hurting right now and want to give up; no matter how much i just want to slit my throat; i feel like there's something that keeps me going on. sometimes i only think it's my love of music and literature. sometimes i think it's my hopes that billy and i will get back together. i'm not sure what it is. all i know is that i'm ( Read more... )