Dean and River
River had been immersed in a book when the knock sounded at her door. It was still a bit early in the day, and her brows furrowed, wondering who could be there and hating that she didn't know the answer.
Still. She walked over to the door and stood en pointe to peer through the fisheye lens. Her heart promptly crawled behind her stomach and hid, but she opened the door. "Dean?"
Dean put his hands on River's shoulders, trying to move her away from the door. "I have stuff to tell you. And I - want to tell them to you before I lose the nerve." He paced into the room, fussing with the button on his shirt that was nearest to his throat.
River blinked, eyes going wide in barely concealed alarm, but she let him back her into the room. It was serious, whatever it was. There wasn't any joy on his face, and it made her go tense; his nerves were practically grabbing at her along with his hands. She just watched, and waited.
Dean turned to look at her. He was a bit pale, and his mouth was drawn. "Promise me, after I say what I gotta say, you won't run away. Please." He went a little closer to her, torn between the desire to kiss her breathless and the urge to run away.
She could promise him that. It was probably the least she owed him. "Can't," she murmured. "Glued to the spot." He didn't move. "You're scaring me."
"I'm scared too." He wiped sweaty palms off on his jeans, and inhaled sharply, and just let the words tumble out of him. "I love you. I just figured it out like, an hour ago, but I wanted to take a shower before I told you. You said you wanted to belong to me. I wanna... belong to you too. I haven't belonged to someone in a long time, and you might have to smack if I start hitting on some other girl, but I wanna try to do this right. 'Cause I might not get another chance, and you make it okay to be me. I didn't really know who I was 'till I met you. So. There. Now that I'm done being sappy, you can tell me I'm an idiot."
River blinked. Blinked again. Her face went flaming red again; she could feel it. Just like Alice and Inara had kept telling her - they'd been right. And she'd understood exactly what he meant, and everything he said made perfect, beautiful, shining, logical sense.
She couldn't stop herself from smiling. "I was afraid," she finally said, looking up at him, putting a hand on his cheek, just because, apparently, she could. "Alice told me it was true. So did Inara." She smiled through fogged eyes. "Should have believed them."
Dean closed his eyes. He didn't want to show any emotion, didn't want to cry or smile or give anything else away than he already had. He was so vulnerable already. And though he trusted her with most all of him, some small part of him wanted to be kept secret. "You... asked? About me?"
She let her hand rest on his face, touching his cheek, running a finger over his nose, his lips, his eyelids. He was beautiful. "I knew I loved you ... didn't know it was different from how I love Simon." Her tone was quiet, but matter-of-fact.
He shivered a little bit. "River, I love you. I don't know if it's a smart move or not, but I can't help it, and I just... I do." He felt his hands cup her cheeks, felt his mouth press to hers, all before he was even aware of what he was doing.
She'd gotten the gist of what he meant, but hearing it just made her smile. She squeaked in surprise as he kissed her, but at least this was somewhat familiar ground. She wasn't sure what to do with her hands, so eventually she rested them on his hips, but she couldn't let him kiss her for long. Her nose was twitching. " ... What's that appalling smell?"
Dean blinked, then he laughed. "Uh, think it's Sammy's aftershave. I wanted this to be special." He felt himself blushing a little, and went to her bed to take off his shoes. "Mind if I spend the night?"
"Oh." River blinked, letting him go. She remembered what aftershave was as he said that, but still. She had to get that smell off him somehow. If he spent the night, she realized, she'd have all that time. "Spend the night." She nodded, coming over, smiling. "It's precious coin."
The last part confused him, but he nodded, pulling her closer to him. "I'll spend the night if you let me kiss you a couple more times." He grinned up at her, planting a kiss on the flat of her stomach through her shirt.
River squeaked, laughing as he tickled her, but she grew serious quickly enough. "I approve of kissing." She laid down on her bed, looking over at him, just completely unable to quit smiling.
"Good." He moved a little closer. "So, you want me to shower so I smell less... like whatever the hell it is I smell like?" He sniffed a shirt collar, winced, and started to strip the shirt off.
River giggled. "Yes." I'd like to watch, she thought, and instantly flushed. It was true, though - she already knew he was beautiful. She was a dancer. The human form was a canvas to her.
"Wanna come?" The words were out of his mouth and hanging in the air before he knew what he was saying. Well, fuck. Now I'm gonna scare her off.
Now, though, she wasn't scared. He wouldn't look at her like cargo if he loved her. She nodded, not firmly, but it wasn't tentative.
"Seriously?" Dean almost choked on his spit, and had to cough a few times so he could breathe. "Um. Okay. I'll go run the water." He couldn't stop grinning like an idiot. His cheeks were starting to ache.
She'd told him before; she didn't have a problem with nudity. It was natural. She had a problem with it being observed when it wasn't proper. It was proper now. She was barely even nervous as she slid her dress over her head, then took off the rest of her things. She had the luxury of trusting him.
Dean stripped his clothes off in the bathroom, tossing them into a careless pile. He reached in to turn on the shower. "How hot do you want it, River?"
"Hot." Like her face. She didn't cover herself or anything, but she couldn't take her eyes off his body. She'd been right when she'd imagined how well proportioned he was, how solidly built. She could hear whispers in the air about how not to look too eager, how not to give a man power. But she watched him openly, not in awe, but mere appreciation.
Dean turned around and blinked when he saw her. She was gorgeous, like a small porcelain doll, but he knew exactly what that doll could do if she chose. The merger of delicate and indestructable was part of what he liked about her, and he grit his teeth in a losing argument with his penis. Down, boy!
River blushed deeper when she saw his face, and just how stunned he looked. This was insane; it was happening as fast as Serenity blasting through Ariel's atmosphere. But she couldn't help but grin even more when she saw him get pointy. She knew enough about all that to apologise. "Didn't mean to wake up your lizard brain." It wasn't polite to wake a man's second brain if one wasn't going to engage it in conversation, and she hadn't meant to do it. Not yet.
"Um. I. Um. Uh." He blinked and turned on the hot water, stepping into the spray. It was hot, and it stung, and he felt his erection ebb. "It's okay. Didn't... mean to." He waved her into the shower. "C'mere."
Of course, she went willingly, though she didn't stand too close to him. Not right away. She couldn't help but feel a new worry pop into her throat like a choke hold; she wasn't ready to do the things he probably expected in a girl friend. It was enough to make her not look at him. Her stomach was feeling squishy at the prospect of losing him so quickly over something like that.
Dean reached out to wrap his arms around her. "Ignore my downstairs brain. My upstairs brain still works." He kissed her shoulder gently. "I know you're... and I'm okay. Really. We'll go at your pace. You tell me what you're ready for, and at any point, even if you said it was okay, if you wanna stop, I stop. This is gonna be special for you." He wanted it to be. Maybe it was penance for all the virginities he'd taken in the back of his car, but he suspected it was more because he really did love her.
That made her smile, and she risked leaning against his shoulder, smiling as the smell started to dissipate. Thankfully. Still. "Will you shrivel?" She did worry.
"I'll handle it." He winked at her and moved a little so she could get into the spray. "Don't you worry 'bout me." He watched the water roll of her shoulders, and bit his lip hard when he felt himself poke her in the leg.
"Impossible." She tactfully ignored the poke, looking up at him instead, feeling her hair get wet and stick to her back. Men never admitted they needed taking care of, but she knew he did. Worrying about someone was part of taking care of them.
Dean stroked her hair, smiling down at her. "Well, don't hurt yourself worrying, then. And I'll worry about you." He leaned down a bit to kiss her, ignoring the water drumming down on his head. It was pretty much perfect.
She liked kissing. He'd told her she was good at it, and this time she was ready for it. River kissed him as best she could, feeling him bend his back so she could catch his lips. Her hands rested on the outside curve of his hips, and she wanted badly to touch his stomach muscles, but figured that wasn't proper if she wasn't going to go further. Inara had said not to tease. She had to figure out what was teasing and what wasn't.
When their lips parted, Dean sucked in a deep breath. "You can do what you want, pretty girl. Just tell me when to stop." Dean didn't mind the teasing. The teasing was what was going to make their first time together amazing. Hell, even kissing her was mindblowing, because he never knew when it was going to come or what it was going to be like.
River bit her lip, though, feeling her hair drop in her face, weighted down by the pressure of the water. "But that isn't kind."
Dean took her chin between thumb and forefinger. "I don't - it's nice. It makes it... more meaningful when we finally do. You know. That." He chuckled a little. "Normally it's not, but you're special. Exceptional." He moved a little so he could nibble her ear.
She somewhat understood, but if he said it was all right, she would abide by it. She just didn't want to hurt him. She loved him. For now, River just nodded, letting out a purry sort of noise when he nibbled on her ear.
He moved his lips down a little to nibble on her neck, gently letting his teeth graze over the skin. "I'm gonna use some soap so we can continue this in bed. At your speed, of course. What scent do you approve of?" He grinned and winked at her.
God, she liked it all. She murmured faintly in Chinese, just something under her breath. "Just you." She didn't even try to explain; he smelt like leather and regrets and the open air. It had fascinated her for longer than this.
He nodded and reached out for the standard bar of hotel soap, going through his regular soaping routine. He ran it through the water, over his chest, over his groin, over his hair, under his arms, and down his legs, humming under his breath a little. He was startled to find it was Bad Company's "Can't Get Enough". Once he'd rinsed, he offered her the spray. "You need it?"
River nodded, taking her own soap off the nearby shelf. Simon had given her a similar scent one time on Londinium, and she still liked the smell. It was light and reminded her of gardens. She went through a similar routine, closing her eyes and enjoying it.
Dean watched her, smiling. The soap fit her - light and airy, but still not fragile. He didn't move, and let her finish. Once she'd opened her eyes, he moved past her to get towels for them.
She opened her eyes, replacing the soap and peeping out of the shower as she felt him brush by. When he reappeared, she smiled. "Those weren't clean an hour ago." The Hotel proved quite thoughtful at odd moments.
Dean shrugged. "The Hotel's nice sometimes. Though it could've given me better aftershave." He handed her the towel while unfolding his own, running it over his body before rubbing it over his hair.
River laughed, wrapping herself up in the plush towel. It was big enough to wrap around her body with a little left over, and she watched him for a moment. When he was done and drier, she kissed him again. She could. It was still sinking in.
Dean grinned at her before taking her hand and walking back to the bed. He wrapped the towel around his waist, glad that it at least hid Not-So-Little Dean.
Once he'd flopped down on the bed, he rolled onto his side to watch her.
She sat down and burrowed into his side, making a satisfied noise. "Much better." She could fall asleep right here if need be. Warm, safe and happy. What a rare state of affairs.