To:
st_dl Title: Birds or Blokes Chapter Two: The Plan
Author/Artist:
quidditchmum Pairing: Harry/Ginny, Gwenog/?
Rating: R
Word Count: 2800 this chapter/9,900 total
Summary: A championship run has sent Holyhead Harpies captain Gwenog Jones a bit off her nut and her teammates and their loved ones are paying the price. Harry and Ginny plot and scheme to teach Gwenog that there is more to life than quidditch but may be in for a surprise or two themselves.
Author/Artist's Notes: Thanks again to
r_becca for the beta. You made it better. I’ve taken “light” off the light R rating and upgraded it to a straight R and have upped the total word count (got a little carried away on both counts).
Birds or Blokes
Chapter Two
The Plan
The boxes of take away Harry procured were spread across the small kitchen table. Hadley and her husband Ewan, who had flooed over immediately after a somewhat desperate call from his wife, sat across the table from Harry and Ginny while they hurriedly ate and discussed their predicament.
“Seriously, are we adults or wee children?” Ginny asked clearly exasperated. Perhaps it was because she was the youngest and felt like she had eight minders growing up, but she really hated being told what to do. Treating her like a child was the one sure way to wind up on the wrong side of her temper as Harry and all her brothers had learned the hard way and Gwenog Jones was about to discover.
“We’ve really got it a lot better than witches that play on some of the other teams,” Hadley said. “Not that it’s written on parchment anywhere but some of the teams have a strict no married witches policy.”
“That’s outrageous!” Ginny was appreciative of the opportunity to play quidditch for a living but she was bewildered by the somewhat shoddy way some of the teams treated their female players. At least they didn’t have to worry much about that with the Harpies.
“It’s true,” Hadley continued. “The Kestrels put my friend Jayne on waivers the second her engagement notice hit The Prophet.”
“That’s got to be illegal!” Ginny ranted. “Sod elves and other magical creatures. Hermione needs to draft some legislation for the ethical treatment of quidditch playing witches!”
“I’ll be sure to let her know you think so when I’m over at their house sulking tomorrow.“ Harry said. “What would that be anyway, L.E.T.Q.P.W? Not as catchy as S.P.E.W., I’m afraid.”
“I do appreciate the way that Gwenog has gone to bat for us with the Federation and the Harpies on that front.” Ginny was well aware of some of the battles Gwenog had fought for equal treatment of witches especially early in her career. “She was great when I told her we were getting married although she has threatened my life if I get pregnant any time soon and personally supervises me taking the potion every month.”
“Me too,” Hadley said.
“So what’s got her knickers in a twist now?” Ginny served herself up a second serving of curry and added some more to Harry’s plate as well. “She wasn’t like this during the playoffs last year. Personal issues aside, if she keeps working us at this pace we’ll be too worn out to perform. She’s got us scheduled for two-a-days up until match day. That’s unheard of.”
“And last year we stayed with the team two days before each match,” Hadley said. “There was no taking us prisoner for a month. And we bloody won!”
“Maybe it’s time to put your Weasley heritage to good use and treat her to a prank,” Harry suggested.
“We need her in one piece for the match so it can’t be anything particularly violent or long lasting though.” Hadley had heard tales of some of the Weasleys’ more memorable pranks.
“I’m not against a prank per se, but I’m not sure a prank really helps us with our current situation,” Ginny said. “What we need is more of a distraction really.”
The room went silent.
“Er, you remember when I had to be out in the field for a while and Ron and the other blokes would rag me about being perpetually shirty with them after I’d been away from home for a few days?” Harry blushed, as this was not a subject he wished to discuss in mixed company, but desperate times called for desperate action.
“Yes, I vividly remember my dear brother, who usually throws a wobbly anytime he sees us so much as kiss, sneaking me into your camp to help you, ah, relieve some tension.”
“So…”
“Harry Potter! Are you suggesting that we need to get Gwenog laid?”
“Well…” he shrugged.
“It would be a distraction,” Hadley said. “I haven’t seen her with anyone in ages and you’re the one who’s always saying she needs to get a life.”
Ginny rested her chin on both hands and pondered Harry’s suggestion thoughtfully. “I agree it has potential. Harry, in your line of work you must run across some blokes who do that sort of thing for a living.”
“Ginny, I’m an auror for Godric’s sake!” Harry’s eyes widened and he looked at her like she had truly lost her nut. “I can’t go out and hire a rent boy to shag your boss!”
“Well it was your idea!”
“He has a point,” Hadley said. “I guess it’ll have to be someone we know. Who do we know that’s a sure thing?”
“Seamus,” Harry and Ginny both said together.
“He’s a sure thing alright but isn’t he a bit young for her?” Hadley asked. Seamus Finnigan’s reputation with the ladies had moved beyond Hogwarts long ago and he was known to frequent the Harpies’ post-match parties.
“Charlie,” Harry suggested.
“He’s definitely available and has a way with the witches but sadly he’s in Romania,” Ginny said. “Last owl I had from him he wasn’t sure he would be able to get away for any of the playoff matches. What about that bloke you and Ron are always on about? The one that likes to brag about his conquests at work?”
“Richards? That might work. I’m sure he’d be up for it.” Justin Richards was an auror who was several years older than Harry and Ron and always seemed to go home with a different witch whenever they went to the pub after work.
“Is he attractive?” Ginny asked.
“I guess, if you go for the muscle bound, pretty boy, Cormac McClaggen type.”
“Personally I prefer the messy-haired skinny but fit type myself, but I can see how the other might appeal to Gwenog.” Ginny smiled, leaned over, mussed up Harry’s hair and quickly brushed his lips with hers.
Ewan who had been quietly observing the banter around the table like a spectator at a quidditch match finally spoke. “Are we sure it’s blokes she fancies?”
“Now that you mention it, I can’t say I’ve seen her with anyone other than a quick flirt at the pub.” Ginny said. “You’ve been with the team a year longer than me Hadley, what do you think?”
“Hmmm, not sure.”
“Maybe she doesn’t fancy blokes at all. Perhaps she prefers birds,” Ewan chimed in.” She is a quidditch player.”
Harry quickly looked to Ginny, fearing for Ewan’s life but it was Hadley that spoke. “That is such a stereotype and might I remind you that you are hoping to get a leg over with your quidditch player before we’re locked up for the better part of a month?”
“Just winding ya up love.” He gave her a cheeky grin and a smack on the lips.
“It’s a fair point though,” said Ginny thoughtfully. “Do we really know if she’s into witches or wizards?”
“Well, she certainly has a fondness for Harry’s arse,” Hadley said. “I’ve noticed her giving it the once over whenever he’s round the pitch.”
“Can’t say I blame her there,” Ginny said while reaching over and giving Harry’s bum a firm squeeze. “You do have a lovely arse Harry.”
“Er,” Harry pinkened slightly and felt a slight twitch in his trousers. “That may be true, about her admiring my, er, arse. She does flirt with me a bit but the thing is, Ginny, I think I’ve, er, noticed her eyeing your arse a time or two.”
“Well it’s no secret that I also have a fine arse. I placed top ten in Witch Weekly’s Best Bums in Quidditch Survey, second only to Oliver Wood.”
“Don’t remind me!” growled Harry. “I still have the t-shirt George charmed to flash ‘I Sleep with the Second Best Bum in Quidditch’.”
Harry could laugh about it now, sort of, but at the time he wasn’t prepared for the especially lewd fan mail his wife received after that article was published. He thought little of the raunchy propositions and articles of clothing he received in the mail from admirers. The same could not be said when Ginny received a photo of some bloke’s bits and a room key. It took all his self-control not to put the full force of the Auror Department towards tracking the git down and shipping him straight to Azkaban. He and Ron did manage to track him down eventually and he was confident the wanker wouldn’t be corresponding with Ginny again. Of course, she didn’t need to know that.
“We need a plan, and quickly. Bed check is in less than an hour and I plan to spend some quality time with Harry’s lovely arse while I have the chance.” Ginny called the room back to attention.
Harry shifted in his chair. There was that twitch again.
“Ginny and I will do a little research before the match,” Hadley said. “What says team bonding better than coaxing the sexual preference out of a teammate?”
“But just to be safe, we need to hedge our bets and have a bird and a bloke at the pub after the match on Sunday,” Ginny said. “Harry’s in charge of lining up a potential wizard. Who knows an attractive witch who swings that way?”
“Again, quidditch players,” Ewan said.
Ginny glared in his direction but Hadley cleared her throat and spoke. “I actually do know a couple of unattached quidditch players from when I was with the Kestrels. At least they were unattached last I heard. That’s an avenue I can explore.”
Ewan smirked in triumph but Ginny didn’t take the bait. “Okay, to recap the plan, Harry will secure a willing and able bloke and ensure his presence at the post-match party on Sunday. Hadley will do the same but with a willing and able witch. Ewan, you may have to provide some assistance with that since we’ll be locked up in less than an hour if you’re not too busy with the sensitivity training you obviously need. Meanwhile, I will consult with Harry and perhaps George regarding potential pranks. Lord knows if we are going to be forced to be celibate for the next month, we’ll need to do something to let off some steam. We will only communicate by owl or by secure floo since this mission is top secret.”
“You missed your calling love,” Harry said. “You should be heading up the Auror Department.”
“I learned from the best, love. Speaking of being locked up in less than an hour, if you two will excuse us, I have an appointment with Harry’s arse.” She stood up from the table and held out a hand to Harry.
“Ginny! Why don’t you just announce that we’re going back to your room to shag?” Harry took her hand but as the twitch in his trousers had graduated to more of a pang he used his other hand to adjust himself before standing up.
“I believe I just did and it’s not like they’re not going back to her room to do the same thing.”
Harry and Ewan exchanged sheepish smiles as they escorted their wives to their respective bedrooms. Since their wives shared a flat, this wasn’t the first time they had found themselves in this situation but they both found it a bit awkward.
“Don’t forget the silencing charms,” Ewan said with a forced laugh.
“Likewise,” Harry retorted.
Ginny pulled Harry into her room and pressed him against the door as it closed behind him. He reached for his wand and performed the silencing charm as promised. The Smiths were quickly forgotten as she captured his mouth in a hungry kiss.
“So, Potter,” Ginny purred whilst slipping off her shoes and beginning to work on her trousers. “Do you have more faith in your staying power or quick recovery time tonight?”
“Er?”
“I’ve got to report to the dorm in exactly 47 minutes,” She pulled her shirt over her head and proceeded to tug on Harry’s belt. “That means we’ve got time for once long and slow or twice quick and dirty and it may have to hold us for a month.”
Harry pulled her close and slowed her busy hands. “It’s hard to choose between such very appealing options, but I want to make love to you, Gin. I think we can manage some quick and dirty in the broomshed if we get desperate. You did pack the invisibility cloak, yeah?”
“Yeah, it was the first thing in my trunk,” She wrestled a hand free and made quick work of the zipper on his trousers. The pang that had started as a twitch was now a full-blown hard-on. “A bit keen are we? “
“Shouldn’t be a surprise. You’ve been teasing me all night, you minx.” He unclasped her bra from the front on the first try and grinned. He was always so pleased when he got it straight away.
He rested his forehead on hers and took her lips gently. “I want to make love to you.”
He allowed her to finish her work on his trousers whilst pulling his shirt off. He started kissing her gently at the neck, pausing to spend ample time lavishing her breasts before working his way further down and settling between her thighs.
“I don’t think I can go a whole month without tasting you.” Harry went to work sending her over the edge.
“Merlin, but you’re good at that.” Ginny panted. “You should really give lessons.”
“I do get a lot of practice,” Harry grinned and worked his way up so that he could cover her body with his and her lips with his mouth. He teased her for just a moment before entering her slowly. “I love you.”
“I love you too.”
As promised Harry made almost agonizingly slow love to her. They snuggled together holding each other tight after they were both fully sated.
“I will miss your arse and other bits as well,” Ginny lovingly caressed Harry’s bum. “But you know I’ll mostly miss just being with you.”
“Me too, love,” Harry sighed. “I thought we were done with this.”
“I know, we’ll work on it but meanwhile don’t be a hermit while I’m away.” Ginny made a mental note to make sure her mum and Hermione looked after him in her stead as Harry was prone to spend too much time at the office or lock himself away at Grimmauld Place when they were apart.
“I’ll try,” her promised weakly.
The time for them to separate came quickly. Neither relished long goodbyes so they kissed quickly and exchanged I love you’s before Ginny joined Hadley in the living room in front of the fireplace. “Don’t forget the plan!” she shouted out before stepping in and disappearing in a puff of smoke.
Harry supposed he should go ahead and floo back to Grimmauld Place, but the sheets were still warm on Ginny’s side of the bed and he could still make out her scent. He held her pillow close to him as he drifted off into fitful sleep, determined to get his wife back as soon as possible.
Ginny made it back to the Harpies camp just in time to meet Gwenog’s curfew. If the situation weren’t bad enough, she drew Alex Keller as roommate. Not only was she missing Harry, she was also stuck sharing a room with his biggest fangirl since Romilda Vane.
Most of her teammates were great about her relationship with Harry. They might tease her a bit but no more than any of the other attached players. And while Ginny was the one who convinced Harry to pose for the poster for the War Orphans League, it was a bit disconcerting to see it hanging over another women’s bed. Ginny swore to herself if she heard any suspicious noises coming from the other side of the room she would hex Alex’s fingers together.
She quietly unpacked and gave one word answers while Alex prattled on about Harry Potter this or Harry that. She wondered if the bint really didn’t understand she was rambling on to his wife. She settled into an unfamiliar bed, tossing and turning whilst wishing she were still in bed with Harry and vowing to owl George first thing in the morning for a prank consultation.
Chapter Three
Practice, Pranks and Parties Chapter One
The Predicament