Fanfic - Lonely Lovers Club: Chapter 14
Title: Lonely Lovers Club
Pairings: Flynn/Yuri + Yuri/Flynn
Author: well...me
Rating: R (for language and drunk Flynn)
Genre: Romance, Drama
Warning: unbetaedness
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters
Summary: AU. Flynn wanted more from Yuri than just his body...though it would take some time for him to realize it.
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"You're still doing homework? You do know it's Friday, right?"
"I'm well aware what day it is, Yuri."
"They lets go out and have some goddamn fun, I'm so bored."
Flynn didn't need to be told, he could hear it in his voice that he was. Readjusting the phone against his ear he sighed, the two of them pretty much having the same conversation everyday. He would comment on going out because he was so bored, which would lead Flynn to admit that he was still doing homework that wasn't due until the following week and thus the longer haired male complain. He didn't whine about the tedious nature of their conversations, because at least some form of normalcy had returned to their lives.
After Yuri had confessed he had been confused for days, wondering if what had transpired between the two of them had actually occurred or if it had been some kind of vivid dream. But then that brought up a rather interesting question: why the fuck was he having dreams about Yuri confessing to him? His thinking had been so messed up, contradicting himself every second, back tracking to make sense of things and in the end he always gave up. It was the first time anyone had said anything like that to him, though he figured it was because high school boys didn't usually confess to one another.
It was so...strange and foreign and he didn't understand it at first. He just couldn't comprehend loving someone outside of one's family, and even if he had been attracted to a number of people physically he knew they were two completely different things. He had felt the need to fuck someone into the sheets more than he was willing to admit, knowing full well that shallow emotion stopped right when everything was said and done.
Love was, from his understanding after reading Yuri's books (he'd never confess just how many he went through), a feeling that ran deep, planting an unknowing seed before it began to blossom and grow. This seemed to be the case with the older man, since he had outright admitted this his feelings had started out as nothing more than confusion before becoming something far more complicated. Flynn certainly felt confused, but did that mean he liked- no...did that mean he loved Yuri?
He did like the older man on some level, so to downgrade the other's feelings as just a 'like' would've been insulting to him. Yuri had been in love before, had experienced the heartache of rejection and the blonde didn't want to put him through that...but it wasn't right for him to accept the other male's feelings when he himself wasn't even sure of his own. It was so...frustrating.
While wallowing in confusion he hadn't actually expected to have any sort of interaction between himself and Yuri, so when he received a phone call from him he couldn't help but be a little nervous. Was he calling to demand that he give him some kind of answer? If so he'd have to hang up immediately, only because he didn't want to allow the other male to hear how much uncertainty he held in his voice.
But thankfully he was spared; Yuri was apparently calling just to kill his boredom, complaining that he had hit a mental wall and couldn't think of how to progress his novel. His boredom was understandable, especially given that he was now in his apartment by himself...and Flynn couldn't help but feel guilty. Though if he had been there the longer haired male would still complain about having nothing to do...
It was surprising how much the two of them talked over the course of two hours, though all the while Yuri never brought up the decision he was supposed to make. Flynn knew enough to appreciate the small interaction that had been presented to him, but it made him even more uneasy about his feelings for the longer haired male. It was two days later when the older man came over unannounced, Repede following him in as the two of them walked passed him as soon as he answered the door.
As much as he would've enjoyed the company, he was far more worried about the large dog's reaction to the kitten roaming his apartment. Sure Repede was docile for the most part, but from his observations when it came to dogs he knew they became crazy whenever some kind of small animal crossed their path. He had damn near lost control of the Akita Inu when a squirrel had crossed their path when walking him one time, so course he was rather worried.
Before he could even think about locking Aki (name suggested by Yuri since it meant autumn in Japanese...Flynn found it to be very fitting) up the small kitten bounced its way into the living room, Repede on the much smaller creature in mere seconds. As he was about to jump in Yuri pulled him back, telling him to simply watch instead of thinking of the worse. Why wouldn't he think the worst of the situation? Repede was far larger than Aki, meaning that without much force he could seriously hurt the poor kitten. But...he trusted that the older man knew what he was talking about...
This didn't stop him from remaining tense, watching as the large dog circled around his cat while said feline merely stared at him. The blonde lurched forward when Aki was sniffed, Yuri holding him firmly in place so that he couldn't interfere. When Repede merely plopped down, stretching out on the floor without a care in the world, he finally relaxed. What surprised him was when Aki jumped on the dog's side, making itself comfortable before curling up into a small ball.
When finally released he gave the other male was questioning look, Yuri merely smirking at him before going over to kneel in front of Repede. He explained that Repede had been exposed to cats since he had been a puppy, the older man admitting that he use to leave him with an elderly woman in his old complex who owned at least five cats whenever he left to run an errand. That explained a lot...but goddamn him for making him panic like that.
He should've known better though; Yuri liked to make him experience things before explaining them, which was all fine and good but...not when the safety of his kitten was on the line! For this he lightly punched the other male's arm, saying that if he ever did something like that again he'd pay him back tenfold. A small smile graced his lips as he heard Yuri laugh at his comment, but as quickly as it appeared it disappeared.
The person inside of his apartment had just admitted that he was in love with him not too long ago, and yet he was acting as if everything was completely fine between the two of them. Yuri probably didn't want to remind him of what had happened, but...it was too late for that...Just him being there was enough of a reminder, and during the duration of his visit Flynn couldn't help but feel awkward. He couldn't look him in the eye, deciding to plunge himself into his homework so that his vision was focused on something else.
But of course Yuri Lowell was not one to be ignored.
The blonde always did his homework on the bed, papers sprawled everywhere in an orderly fashion...until the older man plopped down. The two of them let out aggravated sighs, though he was pretty damn sure they had very different reasons for doing so. Flipping through one of his many school books Yuri told him that he was bored, the blonde looking up momentarily to find him partially stretched out against the mattress, the lower half of his body lying on the floor.
He was fully aware that he wasn't being the best host, but the older man had just caught him at a bad time. That particular week he had three test to study for and a lab to turn in, making him a very busy person. He didn't have time to play around...but then again, if that was the case he should've outright turned the longer haired male away when he was at the door. He hated thinking that everything he did might've had a deeper meaning to it, because if that were true he'd have to find out what it all meant.
Flynn wasn't even sure if he had that much time to spare...because he really needed to put all of his focus on his school work. But with Yuri there that wasn't going to happen any time soon, but on the other hand it wasn't like he could actually interact with the longer haired male normally. After a while the older man asked him point blank if he wanted him so leave, Flynn slightly startled by their closeness as he looked up form his work. As much as he knew he should've said yes, a lump formed in his throat.
The other male's company was greatly appreciated, so much so that in all honesty he didn't want to have Yuri leave. So he merely shook his head, knowing that his loneliness was the driving force behind everything. He hated to say it but Judith was also right about him...he too was the kind of person who shouldn't have been left alone. Maybe not to the extent of Yuri's case he figured, but still...the fact that he could become so lonely when by himself said a lot.
Because he couldn't turn the other male down things began to fall into a routine; upon arriving back to his apartment his phone would ring, both he and Yuri engaging in a conversation that took up most of the night. When he didn't call it was a clear sign that he would drop by at some point, usually bringing Repede with him so that Aki had someone to play with. Surprisingly enough the large dog was well aware of his size, minding his actions whenever he was around the kitten.
"You're always bored, Yuri. Why can't you ask to do something on the weekend like normal people? At least then I'm more likely to be available." It was true though, the longer haired male never seemed to call him on Saturday or Sunday to complain.
"But it's Friday, you're a college student, that pretty much means you're supposed to be at some party hosted my someone you don't know, drinking excessive amounts of alcohol and dancing like an idiot."
"That's pretty stereotypical."
"No Blondie, that's life, and there's no life to be had staying in on Fridays doing homework."
"Wow, never thought I'd hear the philosophical version of 'party hard'." He couldn't help but laugh along with Yuri, scribbling a far too long formula on his homework as he did so.
"Come on, lets go out and have some fun tonight. And if it's an issue I'll pay for everything, I don't want you spending up all of your bakery money."
Pen halted on paper, the blonde getting ready to question the other male but knew that it was only a matter of time before he found out. Smiling a little he asked just how long Yuri had known, choking a bit when the other uttered the words 'a while'.
"It was pretty easy to figure out, especially with you coming home smelling like cake." He would've merely giving out a sigh of defeat at the comment, but was far more concerned with one of the words the longer haired male had used.
"...Home?"
"Oh, um..."
The two of them stayed silent after that, though he was sure Yuri was feeling far more uncomfortable then he was. He wasn't even sure if he had ever seen the other male's apartment as 'home', though he could easily say he felt more at ease in said apartment than he did when enclosed in the four walls of his house with his mother. Shaking his head even if he knew the other male couldn't see, he told him that it was all right...
After a few moments to compose himself he smiled a little, finally deciding to give in since he knew that on some level Yuri had a point. College came with some freedom he didn't have while in high school, so he should've been taking advantage of it and have just a little fun. Since the only 'fun' place he'd ever been to was the bar, Flynn decided to allow the other male to pick the place to go. This seemed to lighten the mood, though his mind still reminded him of the fact that he was about to go out with the guy who had confessed to him.
"I'll come over to pick you up in an hour...ya still there, Blondie?" Flynn merely gave a small 'yeah', feeling rather timid because he was once again reminded of their situation. After hanging up he ran his fingers through his hair, trying his best to remember that he was going out to have fun.
"Shit..." He muttered under his breath as he continued writing, hating how much he had changed because of everything.
After thirty minutes he decided to push his homework aside for whenever he came back, getting himself ready for the outing he and Yuri were going on. While the water began to heat (since it took five minutes for it to do so every time) he began to gather his clothes, wondering if he should dress up or just were what he usually did whenever he and the longer haired male were together.
After opening one of his drawers he had to stop, finding his train of thought to be absolutely ridiculous. It was just Yuri! He didn't need to do anything special, it wasn't like they were going on a date or anything. It was just an outing between two guys...though he probably should've put some thought into what he would wear just in case.
Just as the water became the right temperature he decided on a dark blue turtleneck and a pair of black jeans he had never seen before (he might've accidentally taken them from Yuri's place without knowing). After stepping into the jet-stream of hot water he sighed a bit, wondering why things had become so complicated. If he actually understood was love was he probably wouldn't have been so conflicted. If he had he probably would've come to the conclusion much faster, much easier.
As much as he knew it probably would've hurt him greatly, he wished he had experienced the unrequited love Yuri had during his high school days. He had only ever been attracted to his classmate's looks, but never once developed a feeling for them on a deeper, more psychological level. Maybe it was because he was too afraid of the consequences to really try and develop such a bond in the past, but...what was there to fear now?
He was free to love whoever he pleased...so why was he hesitating?
Shaking his head he went about washing himself, deciding he'd once again deal with the issue on a later date. Flynn was well aware that it was a horrible idea, but he was doing what he did best in hard situations...run. Once the soap was washed from his body he stepped out of the tub, hands moving over the bathroom mirror to clear away the condensation that clung to it.
He looked tired, and given how hard he had been working it was to be expected. Flynn figured he shouldn't have been so tough on himself, because he was only eighteen once he and should've had some kind of fun at his age. Chuckling a bit as he ran his fingers through his still damp hair, he had to wonder just when the longer haired male's ideals had rubbed off on him.
The old him would've taken his temperature, thinking himself ill for even fathoming having fun before schooling. But things change...and he didn't mind it in the slightest. Once finished with his bathroom routine he made his way into his room to change, growing anxious as the seconds ticked away once he was fully clothed. His foot tapped nervously against the hardwood flooring as he sat on his couch, telling himself over and over against that he and Yuri were not going on a date.
Just because the other male had confessed to him didn't mean his intentions always led back to something romantic, because if he knew Yuri he knew he wasn't the 'planning' type. He just did things whenever he felt like doing them. As Aki hopped up on his lap he scratched behind its ears, smiling a bit as he found himself calming down a bit. So what it was a date?
It was like he couldn't handle it- well...given that it would be his first date if it was one, so he wasn't even sure if he could handle it.
"Why are things so damn complicated...?" In response Aki just rubbed up against him, clearly not aware of what was going on in his head but still comforted him. The two of them stayed like that until a knock at the door broke the silence, the blonde swallowing hard before getting up.
He wasn't even aware of how sweaty his palms were until he went to grab the doorknob, having to rub them against his pants to rid himself of the excess moisture. The blonde couldn't help but hesitate when opening the door, only snapping out of his trance when the words 'are you jerking off in there? Open up!' come from the other side. When he actually did wrap his fingers around the metal knob, pulling it back to open the door, he braced himself for whatever was to come.
"...Those are my jeans."
Seriously? They were going out and that was the first thing he said...?
"Oh, um...I must've taken them by accident."
"Meh, it's fine, they look better on you." With a small 'okay then' he followed Yuri down the hall, closing and locking his apartment door behind him before doing so.
"Hey, um-"
"It's not a date, Blondie." Flynn could only stare at the longer haired male as he continued, "I know you too well. You were probably in there freaking out about the two of us going out since I said I loved you, but there's nothing to worry about. I can put my personal feelings aside for one night, Flynn."
That didn't exactly seem fair to the other male, but then again their whole situation was completely against him. And suddenly a strong since of guilt washed over him, causing him to once again hate himself for his indecisiveness.
"Come on, we're supposed to be having fun. I can't take you out with that look on your face, people will think I kidnapped you." A small chuckled escaped the blonde, appreciating the fact that even when he felt his worst Yuri could at least make him laugh.
"All right, all right, come on."
He had expected things to get a little better from then on, but he didn't even make it to the other male's car before falling back into his previous behavior. He couldn't look over at Yuri, opting to instead avert his eyes to the side, staring out of the window once inside his car. When the other male ask what their destination was he merely said that it was up to him, earning a rather irritated sign from Yuri.
"Okay, so what? You wanna forgo hanging out because you can't even look at me straight? Or should we just make-out in the car? I mean you think this is a date anyways, so lets screw whatever we were going to do." The longer haired male crossed his arms as he spoke, completely catching him off guard.
"W-What? No, that's not-"
"Then stop it. I know this is awkward, how the hell do you think I feel? But goddammit Flynn, I wanna take you out as a friend, so stop acting like that." He looked irritated, and rightfully so, but the blonde couldn't help but return the other male's irritation with his own.
"Well sorry, but how do expect me to act normal when it's the first time someone's confessed to me? I can't exactly handle something I have no experience with!" He hadn't meant for his words to hold such a bite to them, but it looked as if the other male didn't seem to mind. Instead he looked...perplexed.
"Wait so..." It really seemed as if the longer haired male was trying his best to hide the smirk that was forming on his lips, "I'm the first person who's ever confessed to you? Well shit Blondie, I knew you were a virgin when it came to certain things, but I really didn't think I was the one to pop your cherry on all occasions!"
Now he was outright laughing at him, forehead pressed against the steering wheel as his shoulders bounced with each loud cackle. Flynn had wanted to tell him off right there, but was far too busy drowning in the sea of embarrassment he had found himself in. He could in no way deny the blush that had spread across his face, the glare that was directed at the other male so strong he figured that it should've burned a hole in his skull at some point.
"S-Sorry, it's just...what the hell kind of social life did you have before meeting me?" The blonde grumbled a bit, but of course he should've expected Yuri telling him to speak up.
"I said I didn't have one..." He sank further in his seat, wanting to just die so he could stop feeling so goddamn embarrassed. A silence filled the air, though the blonde really wasn't worried about the reason since he was too busy trying to rescue what little of his composer he had left.
"...Do you regret it?"
"Regret what?"
"Meeting me..."
For once Flynn didn't hesitate; he told the longer haired male point blank that he didn't regret a thing, and even if there were times he hated the other's guts he never felt their meeting had been a mistake. Yuri just started at him from his position on the steering wheel, the blonde having to look away after a while because he, once again, couldn't read him.
"...You're cute when you're serious."
He wasn't really sure what he choked on, his saliva, the shock or the embarrassment, but it was rather hard to suppress the violent coughing fit in response to the other's words. Apparently it was 'Make Flynn Blush Like an Idiot Day' and no one had informed him of such. Yuri didn't say anything to him after that, and he didn't really mind it all that much.
When the car started, it pulling out of the parking lot before stating down the road, he glanced over at the longer haired male from the corner of his eye. Flynn probably shouldn't haven't been surprised by the half smirk that was plastered on the other male's lips, though it didn't stop him from scrunching his nose up in irritation. When he noticed the two of them driving past the bar he perked up a bit, wondering just where they were headed to.
He decided to let the older man take him wherever, because even if he asked Yuri just where they were headed the answer would probable be just a shoulder shrug. Because the longer haired male wasn't the type to listen to music in his car the small space was filled with an eerier silent, the blonde wondering if he should finally ask the question that had been plaguing him for so long.
"Hey, um..." He rubbed the back of his head as he gathered enough courage to speak, "What...w-what exactly do you like about me?"
Even with his focus on the road the blonde could see the other's eyes widen slightly, though he was sure he wasn't overstepping his boundaries. If the other had feelings for him then he deserved to ask about them. When the came to a red light the longer haired male sighed a bit, fingers clinching the steering wheel as he looked over at him.
"Outside of how you look, you're the exact opposite of me, which I found fascinating at first. I couldn't date someone like me, someone who isn't grounded in reality and impulsive. I've self aware enough to realize that I need stability in my life..." He finished speaking just as the light changed, eyes leaving his as they turned back to the road.
Even if he felt a tinge of embarrassment, he knew what the other male was talking about. From what he had heard Yuri's life had been...eventful, so it wasn't all that surprising to hear him say that he wanted someone stable around him. Sliding down in his seat slightly he ran his fingers through his hair, hating how he was the only thing keeping the older man from doing something that would threaten his life.
Flynn didn't hate that such a huge responsibility was given to him, he hated that he was only recognized his purpose after dealing what could've easily been a horrible blow to the other's psyche. He had been so self-centered in the past, but now that he was aware of everything he felt he had some things to make up for.
"I think you deserve better." It took Flynn a few seconds to register that those words had actually left his lips, horror washing over him as he covered his mouth with his hands. He wasn't really sure how the longer haired male had managed to slam on the break and not be hit by another car, but he had, and all the while Flynn was rather thankful he was wearing his seat-belt.
"...What?"
"I-I..." Shit, now he was really in a bind, "I just thought...I'm pretty plain Yuri, I just thought you deserved someone better, someone who's stable and exciting."
"Quite frankly Flynn...I don't believe I deserve to be with anyone, so to hear to say that I deserve anything makes me pretty happy." He gave him a small smile before driving off, the blonde's face flushing a bit as he turned away as well. Flynn wasn't sure what was worse: him blushing once again or him finding Yuri's smile attractive.
Shit...upon thinking back on things, he had always found Yuri's smile stunning...
Finding something about the longer haired male attractive in a non-sexual way was new for him, because it meant he was looking at something deeper then what was presented to him. When Yuri smiled like that it made his entire being light up, the other male clearly pulling from a profound emotion that he probably didn't show to many people.
As outgoing and spontaneous as he may be, the older man was extremely guarded about his emotions. It was a surprising fact he had learned only after he had seen the real Yuri, the one who had been furious with him for asking if he cared about him, had broken down because he 'couldn't' fail', had told him about his parents and had recently confessed to him. Sure he had seen the longer haired male get mad at him before, but never like that, never with so much hurt behind his words.
That day he finally recognized just how vulnerable Yuri really was...and it was scary to have his then view of the other male replaced with reality. Because reality was painful. Glancing over he noticed how relaxed the other male looked, which was probably due to the conversation they had just had. But it really made him wonder why the older man had such a low opinion of himself, and this made him believe that his self-confidence was just a façade he presented to the world to deal with his supposed shortcomings.
When the car stopped Flynn gazed around, trying to figure out where they were exactly. He found a wooden sign that said 'BLUE SHAMROCK PUB', the blonde removing himself from the car before staring at Yuri from over the roof of the car.
"If you wanted us to go to a bar, why not just stop by the one Judith works at?"
"Because I can't very well get you drunk with her around, she'd totally nag me about it." As he opened his mouth to speak, it seemed one too many things wanted to come up, thus leading him to silence. Had he seriously taken him out just to get him drunk?
No way...Yuri wasn't that irresponsible...At least that's what he thought before watching the longer haired male walk in the direction of the pub entrance.
"Whoa! Wait! Yuri, hey!" He quickly sprinted over to the older man before taking the hand that was about to push the door open, "We can't do this!"
"Why not?"
"Because, I don't know...IT'S ILLEGAL!" They were seriously not having this conversation...maybe he had fallen asleep in the car and this was some kind of weird ass dream. But no...as he discreetly pinched himself there was no way to deny the pain, or the fact that he was still standing there holding Yuri's hand-
Wait...he was holding Yuri's hand...
Quickly he let go, as if the other male's touch had burned him suddenly. Before things became awkward he told Yuri that they should really reconsider doing something else...like just hanging out at his place. Of course this suggestion was instantly shot down, the longer haired male taking his shoulders from behind to push him into the establishment. Once inside they were seated in a booth near the back, the blonde slouching down a bit as he began regretting having agreed to their outing.
"Two beers and a water." The waitress gave him a small nod before going off to fill Yuri's order.
"Oh god..."
"Come on Blondie, relax a little! You know, probably half of the people on campus are getting hammered as we speak while engaging in anonymous sex."
"College isn't all about sex and booze, Yuri..."
"Only people who keep their noses in books says that kind of thing." Flynn quickly shut his mouth, knowing that the other male really did have a point. Even if he had been invited to parties by classmates he always turned them down in favor of studying, so he really had no way to disprove the older man.
"Come on, it's just a beer or two, it's not like I'm forcing you to do shots of vodka." He stared at the longer haired male because of that, wondering if he really believed that the type of alcohol mattered.
"...If I'm drinking, you can't have a drop. And you better swear to me you're taking responsibility for my drunk ass if it comes to that..." He crossed his arms as he spoke, making sure to sound stern enough so that Yuri understood that he wasn't joking around. In turn the other male just started right back at him, eyes scanning his body before coming back to meet his.
"...You really are cute when you're serious."
Okay, seriously...who says those kind of things with such a straight face? Flynn had to look away, muttering a small curse under his breath as he began to wonder if he should watch his words a little more. When the waitress returned he was rather shocked to find that 'a beer' consisted of an entire pint instead of the bottle, the blonde eying it hesitantly before looking over to Yuri.
The longer haired male merely had his fingers knitted together, chin resting on said fingers as a smirk tugged at his lips. He was probably going to do nothing but observe him throughout the entire process...When the waitress was gone Flynn hesitantly wrapped his fingers around one of the glasses, scooting his forward until it sat in front of him.
This was so wrong...but upon thinking about it he had already engaged in the anonymous sex, so hell why not add another thing to the list of shit he'd never thought he'd do. Because the beer had a rather frothy head to it he tired to lift it without spilling anything, which proved rather futile since it still dribbled down his hand before it even reach his mouth.
The beverage was bitter on his lips and even more so in his mouth, and after drinking a bit he finally understood people coughed when drinking alcohol. It burned going down. After his small coughing fit he glanced over at Yuri who seemingly hadn't moved from his position; however, the smirk on his face had definitely gotten wider. Flynn couldn't help but make a face because of this, though it didn't stop him from taking another sip.
After downing the first pint he sat back and signed, deciding that pacing himself was definitely for the best. He figure that if he took it slow he'd recognize the moment he became buzzed, it being a clear sign that he need to ask the other male to take him home.
"So...what do you think?"
"It taste like what I imagine cat piss does." It was the truth...he found nothing enjoyable about drinking something so assertively bitter.
"Then I guess no red Dixie cups for you during parties."
Flynn snorted a bit at his comment, briefly wondering when red Dixie cups became synonymous with college parties. It was probably because they were cheap and could be bought in bulk rather easily. That seemed to make the most sense...but now that he thought about it he was thinking of some pretty random things in that short time span. Sitting back up he shook his head a bit, reaching for the glass of water before Yuri snatched it away.
"What-"
"I have to drink something while I'm here, you know, being barred from having no alcohol and all." Well that was a pretty big dick move...The blonde only gave him a small glare before drawing his attention back to the other pint of beer.
He was already feeling something...but it was pretty minor. So did that mean it was all right for him to drink the other...? Well...half should've been enough for him. Someway or another half became the whole goddamn thing, and before he knew it his cheek was placed against the cool surface of the table they were sitting at. His head was doing...things, things it shouldn't have been doing because he was so far past buzzed. Then again it was pretty stupid of him to assume he knew the difference between buzzed and flat out drunk.
"Hey, Yuri..." Why was he talking? The last thing he needed to be doing was speaking, "About what we talked about over the phone..."
"Hm? What do you mean-?"
"I really did think of your place as home...it made me feel safe."
Yuri just started at him with a look of disbelief on his face, the blonde slightly confused as to why. He was just telling the truth, so why was he looking at him like that? It was a few seconds later that the older man reached his hand over, placing it atop of his head before gently stroking his hair. It was soothing, and if Flynn had been tired it probably would've whisked him away to unconsciousness before he even realized it.
"...You're drunk."
"Probably, yeah." Truth be told he couldn't really know if what he was feeling were merely the early stages of being drunk or if he was already hammered. He knew for a fact that he was lightheaded as hell, his thoughts slowly spiraling around madly as he tried to get a grip.
He knew it was pointless though...
"Flynn-"
"I'm afraid..."
"Huh?"
"Of falling for you...it scares me..." He could hear himself speaking, but as far as understanding what he was saying...everything sounded muffled to his ears, "I don't know what to do with myself...Every time I think about you I get frustrated, because I don't know if what I'm feeling for you is love or friendship or admiration...But I..."
He could feel himself moving, just a bit, and before he knew it he had placed Yuri's hand against his cheek, rubbing his tenderly against his soft skin.
"I'm so sorry for making you wait for my answer..." He snorted a bit before looking away, "You do deserve better than some immature kid..."
Because his sense of time was pretty off, Flynn wasn't sure just how long everything stilled for. There was no sound, no movement and no sign that Yuri had reacted, but he was at least aware enough to know that something was going to happen. But as the two of them sat in silence the blonde felt like he was losing himself little by little, like his body was becoming far more willing to do thing he had been afraid to do in the past.
"...So...how would you feel if I started dating someone else...? I mean, you said I 'deserve better'-"
"I'd fucking hate it..." The hand that was placed against the longer haired male's tightened, "The mere thought of you with someone else pisses me off so much..."
There was another bout of silence before Yuri pulled his hand away, Flynn watching as he fished a small amount of bills out of his pocket before placing them on the table. He didn't remember being hoisted up from his seat, but he figured something must've happened since he was being lead to the front entrance by the other male. Once in the car the blonde slumped down in his seat, staring out of the window as he heard the engine start.
He knew he was babbling nonsense the entire way, mostly about anything he saw out of the window, but all the while Yuri remained silent. It was all right though, because he was sure he sounded like a complete idiot. After blacking out in the car at some point he regained consciousness to find his body being hauled up the stairs by the older man, Flynn wanting to help him out but it seemed his legs were being rather uncooperative. Once on his floor he heard the muffled sound of the other male speaking, the blonde looking his way to see if he could comprehend those words a little better.
"Keys, Flynn, keys."
"Oh, um...pocket." He tried going for it but Yuri beat him to it, fishing his apartment keys out of his left front pocket as he sighed a bit. It was probably for the best though...he wasn't sure how long he would've taken trying to find his keys if the other male had allowed him to quest for them.
Once inside he still didn't forget to say a small 'I'm home' for Aki to hear, though he could hardly tell where the small kitten was in his state. It sounded incredibly slurred to his ears, but he made no comment about it, instead he merely clung to the longer haired male when it seemed he was about to place him down on his mattress.
"Flynn, let go-"
"Stay." It was as simply as he could put it without sounding like an idiot, his grip on the older man tightening as he spoke.
"I...I really don't think I should, Flynn...I-"
At first he wasn't sure why he suddenly decided to kiss Yuri, but after a moment he figured it was because of the look he saw on his face. Even in his drunken state he could recognize the look of someone trying to run away from something, and since he himself was the poster child for that he knew it when he saw it. Initially the longer haired male was tense, probably from the shock of suddenly being kissed, but soon he relaxed into it.
His perception of time seemed to come and go as his state deteriorated more, so he wasn't actually aware of how long the two of them were sucking face before they ended up on his mattress. The older man was hovering over him, letting out small puffs of air as a crimson blush spread across his face. Reaching up he ran his fingers through the other male's hair, repeating the motion once, twice and a third time before coming to rest on one of his cheeks.
"Wait..." Reaching down he pulled the roaming hand away from his crotch, the action earning him a confused look from the other male.
"What's wrong-?"
"Just...wanna make out...no fuck." God he sounded horrible...but at least he got his point across. Yuri just started at him before giving him a small smile, the older man leaning down to allow their lips to connect again.
It was a strange feeling for the two of them to be in such position and just be kissing, but it was the only thing he felt like doing at the moment (other than maybe passing out...his head was swimming like crazy). As sexually attracted as he was to the longer haired male there was nothing sexual about how he felt, no erection, no deep want, no nothing...and for some odd reason it felt right. The blonde held onto him tighter, because whenever something felt 'right' when it came to Yuri it usually meant something deep.
Apparently the upside to being intoxicated was that he couldn't think clearly, and the last thing he wanted was for their moment to be ruined by him over thinking. For once he didn't want to figured out what it all meant...he just allowed the moment to happen. The other male tasted of something sweet and something that was just distantly Yuri, the taste so familiar and comforting. How long had it been since they had done this? Just...make out without any sexual implications?
After thinking about it...the two of them had never been in such a situation before...
As much as he would've liked to continue on with their make out session, it was rudely interrupted when everything around him suddenly went dark. It was as if his consciousness suddenly did a cliff dive without informing him beforehand, because he certainly felt like he was falling. The worst part? He didn't know when he'd hit bottom. If anything it was a frightening feeling, one that reminded him of when he had blacked out after being stabbed. There were no indications of him coming around this time, no flashing lights or muddled sounds that told him that something was going on around him.
It was as if he had started taking those sleeping pill again...but this time around he was well aware that he wasn't dreaming. When it became clear that he was starting to come to, a sense of relief began to wash over him, the blonde never so happy to have the sun beaming down on him. Actually...scratch that...As soon as the light hit his eyes he instantly covered his head with his blanket, groaning as he squeezed his eyelids shut to try and block out the brightness.
Well...this was a rather unfortunate event...He had never once wondered what it would feel like to be hung-over, and now that he was he was going to make damn sure it didn't happen again. At least Yuri's handy work seemed to have one positive outcome: Flynn was never going to touch alcohol for as long as he lived. And speaking of Yuri...Peeking out from his cocoon he didn't see the other male anywhere (it wasn't like his room was all that big), but the smell in the air told him that he hadn't left his apartment. Oh no...the smell of food...
"O-Oh god." Quickly he got to his feet and ran as quickly as he could to the bathroom, very thankful that he had the habit of leaving the toilet lid up. There was no lead up, no dry heaving, it just all came out in one horrible burst after another.
Once it seemed like he had gotten everything out the blonde slumped against the toilet seat, cheek pressed against the pearly white porcelain as he held onto it for dear life in case another wave of nausea hit him. He barely remembered last night after drinking that second pint of beer, and what he did recall he tried to best to figure out why he had done it. He remembered talking to the longer haired male about something, remembered apologizing for something, remembered getting upset and remembered making- oh right...they made out on his bed.
"You look like shit...sorry." Flynn didn't bother to look up, though he did stare at the glass of water that was placed near him.
"Don't worry about it...j-just shut the door so I don't smell-" Before he could even finish he vomited into the toilet once again, but surprisingly enough he didn't seem embarrassed that he was being such a wreck in front of the other male. He did jump a little when he felt a hand on his back, though when it began rubbing gentle circles he relaxed a bit.
"...How much of last night do you remember?"
"Bits and pieces..."
"Ah...so I guess I shouldn't ask questions..."
What was that supposed to mean? Maybe if he could recall more of the previous night then he wouldn't have to feel so confused...but at the same time he was sure he said something he probably never would when sober. When he asked Yuri if he had done anything he deemed 'foolish' the older man just shook his head, though he probably should've been a bit more specific...
"What did I say to make you tear up and blush at the same time...?" Out of all the things he did remember that stuck out the most to him, the stunned look the other male had on his face while the two of them sat at the pub, cheeks beat red as tears steamed down his face, that was the most poignant.
"Shit..." He watched as the other male ran his fingers through his hair, "Kinda wish you hadn't remembered that..."
When Yuri leaned against the sink, his eyes staring into his for a few seconds before looking away, Flynn wasn't sure if he was ready for whatever was about to be said.
"You know...I was really ready to write this whole thing off as another one-sided crush," A bitter chuckled escaped his lips as he gripped the ledge of the sink, "But...last night made me believe that it isn't, that maybe my stupid confession was really worth it."
"...It wasn't stupid." He knew he was overlooking the rest of what the longer haired male was saying, but he would get to that soon enough. Yuri just looked at him for a brief second before looking away, and the blonde was sure he had seen a faint blush on the other's cheeks.
After taking a few sips of water he staggered upward, eyes getting the best view of the longer haired male's face to find that he was indeed blushing. He didn't find it odd though; since Yuri had opened up to him these displays were just further proof of what he felt.
"...How do you know this isn't a one-sided thing...?" He really wished he remembered the actual conversation so he knew how he came to that conclusion...Leaning in a bit, arms coming to wrap themselves around his neck, Yuri smirked at him, the realization slowly dawning on him as the other male spoke.
"Figure. It. Out."
He had just started up a new game of 'I know something you don't know' with Yuri...
Pairings: Flynn/Yuri + Yuri/Flynn
Author: well...me
Rating: R (for language and drunk Flynn)
Genre: Romance, Drama
Warning: unbetaedness
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters
Summary: AU. Flynn wanted more from Yuri than just his body...though it would take some time for him to realize it.
---
"You're still doing homework? You do know it's Friday, right?"
"I'm well aware what day it is, Yuri."
"They lets go out and have some goddamn fun, I'm so bored."
Flynn didn't need to be told, he could hear it in his voice that he was. Readjusting the phone against his ear he sighed, the two of them pretty much having the same conversation everyday. He would comment on going out because he was so bored, which would lead Flynn to admit that he was still doing homework that wasn't due until the following week and thus the longer haired male complain. He didn't whine about the tedious nature of their conversations, because at least some form of normalcy had returned to their lives.
After Yuri had confessed he had been confused for days, wondering if what had transpired between the two of them had actually occurred or if it had been some kind of vivid dream. But then that brought up a rather interesting question: why the fuck was he having dreams about Yuri confessing to him? His thinking had been so messed up, contradicting himself every second, back tracking to make sense of things and in the end he always gave up. It was the first time anyone had said anything like that to him, though he figured it was because high school boys didn't usually confess to one another.
It was so...strange and foreign and he didn't understand it at first. He just couldn't comprehend loving someone outside of one's family, and even if he had been attracted to a number of people physically he knew they were two completely different things. He had felt the need to fuck someone into the sheets more than he was willing to admit, knowing full well that shallow emotion stopped right when everything was said and done.
Love was, from his understanding after reading Yuri's books (he'd never confess just how many he went through), a feeling that ran deep, planting an unknowing seed before it began to blossom and grow. This seemed to be the case with the older man, since he had outright admitted this his feelings had started out as nothing more than confusion before becoming something far more complicated. Flynn certainly felt confused, but did that mean he liked- no...did that mean he loved Yuri?
He did like the older man on some level, so to downgrade the other's feelings as just a 'like' would've been insulting to him. Yuri had been in love before, had experienced the heartache of rejection and the blonde didn't want to put him through that...but it wasn't right for him to accept the other male's feelings when he himself wasn't even sure of his own. It was so...frustrating.
While wallowing in confusion he hadn't actually expected to have any sort of interaction between himself and Yuri, so when he received a phone call from him he couldn't help but be a little nervous. Was he calling to demand that he give him some kind of answer? If so he'd have to hang up immediately, only because he didn't want to allow the other male to hear how much uncertainty he held in his voice.
But thankfully he was spared; Yuri was apparently calling just to kill his boredom, complaining that he had hit a mental wall and couldn't think of how to progress his novel. His boredom was understandable, especially given that he was now in his apartment by himself...and Flynn couldn't help but feel guilty. Though if he had been there the longer haired male would still complain about having nothing to do...
It was surprising how much the two of them talked over the course of two hours, though all the while Yuri never brought up the decision he was supposed to make. Flynn knew enough to appreciate the small interaction that had been presented to him, but it made him even more uneasy about his feelings for the longer haired male. It was two days later when the older man came over unannounced, Repede following him in as the two of them walked passed him as soon as he answered the door.
As much as he would've enjoyed the company, he was far more worried about the large dog's reaction to the kitten roaming his apartment. Sure Repede was docile for the most part, but from his observations when it came to dogs he knew they became crazy whenever some kind of small animal crossed their path. He had damn near lost control of the Akita Inu when a squirrel had crossed their path when walking him one time, so course he was rather worried.
Before he could even think about locking Aki (name suggested by Yuri since it meant autumn in Japanese...Flynn found it to be very fitting) up the small kitten bounced its way into the living room, Repede on the much smaller creature in mere seconds. As he was about to jump in Yuri pulled him back, telling him to simply watch instead of thinking of the worse. Why wouldn't he think the worst of the situation? Repede was far larger than Aki, meaning that without much force he could seriously hurt the poor kitten. But...he trusted that the older man knew what he was talking about...
This didn't stop him from remaining tense, watching as the large dog circled around his cat while said feline merely stared at him. The blonde lurched forward when Aki was sniffed, Yuri holding him firmly in place so that he couldn't interfere. When Repede merely plopped down, stretching out on the floor without a care in the world, he finally relaxed. What surprised him was when Aki jumped on the dog's side, making itself comfortable before curling up into a small ball.
When finally released he gave the other male was questioning look, Yuri merely smirking at him before going over to kneel in front of Repede. He explained that Repede had been exposed to cats since he had been a puppy, the older man admitting that he use to leave him with an elderly woman in his old complex who owned at least five cats whenever he left to run an errand. That explained a lot...but goddamn him for making him panic like that.
He should've known better though; Yuri liked to make him experience things before explaining them, which was all fine and good but...not when the safety of his kitten was on the line! For this he lightly punched the other male's arm, saying that if he ever did something like that again he'd pay him back tenfold. A small smile graced his lips as he heard Yuri laugh at his comment, but as quickly as it appeared it disappeared.
The person inside of his apartment had just admitted that he was in love with him not too long ago, and yet he was acting as if everything was completely fine between the two of them. Yuri probably didn't want to remind him of what had happened, but...it was too late for that...Just him being there was enough of a reminder, and during the duration of his visit Flynn couldn't help but feel awkward. He couldn't look him in the eye, deciding to plunge himself into his homework so that his vision was focused on something else.
But of course Yuri Lowell was not one to be ignored.
The blonde always did his homework on the bed, papers sprawled everywhere in an orderly fashion...until the older man plopped down. The two of them let out aggravated sighs, though he was pretty damn sure they had very different reasons for doing so. Flipping through one of his many school books Yuri told him that he was bored, the blonde looking up momentarily to find him partially stretched out against the mattress, the lower half of his body lying on the floor.
He was fully aware that he wasn't being the best host, but the older man had just caught him at a bad time. That particular week he had three test to study for and a lab to turn in, making him a very busy person. He didn't have time to play around...but then again, if that was the case he should've outright turned the longer haired male away when he was at the door. He hated thinking that everything he did might've had a deeper meaning to it, because if that were true he'd have to find out what it all meant.
Flynn wasn't even sure if he had that much time to spare...because he really needed to put all of his focus on his school work. But with Yuri there that wasn't going to happen any time soon, but on the other hand it wasn't like he could actually interact with the longer haired male normally. After a while the older man asked him point blank if he wanted him so leave, Flynn slightly startled by their closeness as he looked up form his work. As much as he knew he should've said yes, a lump formed in his throat.
The other male's company was greatly appreciated, so much so that in all honesty he didn't want to have Yuri leave. So he merely shook his head, knowing that his loneliness was the driving force behind everything. He hated to say it but Judith was also right about him...he too was the kind of person who shouldn't have been left alone. Maybe not to the extent of Yuri's case he figured, but still...the fact that he could become so lonely when by himself said a lot.
Because he couldn't turn the other male down things began to fall into a routine; upon arriving back to his apartment his phone would ring, both he and Yuri engaging in a conversation that took up most of the night. When he didn't call it was a clear sign that he would drop by at some point, usually bringing Repede with him so that Aki had someone to play with. Surprisingly enough the large dog was well aware of his size, minding his actions whenever he was around the kitten.
"You're always bored, Yuri. Why can't you ask to do something on the weekend like normal people? At least then I'm more likely to be available." It was true though, the longer haired male never seemed to call him on Saturday or Sunday to complain.
"But it's Friday, you're a college student, that pretty much means you're supposed to be at some party hosted my someone you don't know, drinking excessive amounts of alcohol and dancing like an idiot."
"That's pretty stereotypical."
"No Blondie, that's life, and there's no life to be had staying in on Fridays doing homework."
"Wow, never thought I'd hear the philosophical version of 'party hard'." He couldn't help but laugh along with Yuri, scribbling a far too long formula on his homework as he did so.
"Come on, lets go out and have some fun tonight. And if it's an issue I'll pay for everything, I don't want you spending up all of your bakery money."
Pen halted on paper, the blonde getting ready to question the other male but knew that it was only a matter of time before he found out. Smiling a little he asked just how long Yuri had known, choking a bit when the other uttered the words 'a while'.
"It was pretty easy to figure out, especially with you coming home smelling like cake." He would've merely giving out a sigh of defeat at the comment, but was far more concerned with one of the words the longer haired male had used.
"...Home?"
"Oh, um..."
The two of them stayed silent after that, though he was sure Yuri was feeling far more uncomfortable then he was. He wasn't even sure if he had ever seen the other male's apartment as 'home', though he could easily say he felt more at ease in said apartment than he did when enclosed in the four walls of his house with his mother. Shaking his head even if he knew the other male couldn't see, he told him that it was all right...
After a few moments to compose himself he smiled a little, finally deciding to give in since he knew that on some level Yuri had a point. College came with some freedom he didn't have while in high school, so he should've been taking advantage of it and have just a little fun. Since the only 'fun' place he'd ever been to was the bar, Flynn decided to allow the other male to pick the place to go. This seemed to lighten the mood, though his mind still reminded him of the fact that he was about to go out with the guy who had confessed to him.
"I'll come over to pick you up in an hour...ya still there, Blondie?" Flynn merely gave a small 'yeah', feeling rather timid because he was once again reminded of their situation. After hanging up he ran his fingers through his hair, trying his best to remember that he was going out to have fun.
"Shit..." He muttered under his breath as he continued writing, hating how much he had changed because of everything.
After thirty minutes he decided to push his homework aside for whenever he came back, getting himself ready for the outing he and Yuri were going on. While the water began to heat (since it took five minutes for it to do so every time) he began to gather his clothes, wondering if he should dress up or just were what he usually did whenever he and the longer haired male were together.
After opening one of his drawers he had to stop, finding his train of thought to be absolutely ridiculous. It was just Yuri! He didn't need to do anything special, it wasn't like they were going on a date or anything. It was just an outing between two guys...though he probably should've put some thought into what he would wear just in case.
Just as the water became the right temperature he decided on a dark blue turtleneck and a pair of black jeans he had never seen before (he might've accidentally taken them from Yuri's place without knowing). After stepping into the jet-stream of hot water he sighed a bit, wondering why things had become so complicated. If he actually understood was love was he probably wouldn't have been so conflicted. If he had he probably would've come to the conclusion much faster, much easier.
As much as he knew it probably would've hurt him greatly, he wished he had experienced the unrequited love Yuri had during his high school days. He had only ever been attracted to his classmate's looks, but never once developed a feeling for them on a deeper, more psychological level. Maybe it was because he was too afraid of the consequences to really try and develop such a bond in the past, but...what was there to fear now?
He was free to love whoever he pleased...so why was he hesitating?
Shaking his head he went about washing himself, deciding he'd once again deal with the issue on a later date. Flynn was well aware that it was a horrible idea, but he was doing what he did best in hard situations...run. Once the soap was washed from his body he stepped out of the tub, hands moving over the bathroom mirror to clear away the condensation that clung to it.
He looked tired, and given how hard he had been working it was to be expected. Flynn figured he shouldn't have been so tough on himself, because he was only eighteen once he and should've had some kind of fun at his age. Chuckling a bit as he ran his fingers through his still damp hair, he had to wonder just when the longer haired male's ideals had rubbed off on him.
The old him would've taken his temperature, thinking himself ill for even fathoming having fun before schooling. But things change...and he didn't mind it in the slightest. Once finished with his bathroom routine he made his way into his room to change, growing anxious as the seconds ticked away once he was fully clothed. His foot tapped nervously against the hardwood flooring as he sat on his couch, telling himself over and over against that he and Yuri were not going on a date.
Just because the other male had confessed to him didn't mean his intentions always led back to something romantic, because if he knew Yuri he knew he wasn't the 'planning' type. He just did things whenever he felt like doing them. As Aki hopped up on his lap he scratched behind its ears, smiling a bit as he found himself calming down a bit. So what it was a date?
It was like he couldn't handle it- well...given that it would be his first date if it was one, so he wasn't even sure if he could handle it.
"Why are things so damn complicated...?" In response Aki just rubbed up against him, clearly not aware of what was going on in his head but still comforted him. The two of them stayed like that until a knock at the door broke the silence, the blonde swallowing hard before getting up.
He wasn't even aware of how sweaty his palms were until he went to grab the doorknob, having to rub them against his pants to rid himself of the excess moisture. The blonde couldn't help but hesitate when opening the door, only snapping out of his trance when the words 'are you jerking off in there? Open up!' come from the other side. When he actually did wrap his fingers around the metal knob, pulling it back to open the door, he braced himself for whatever was to come.
"...Those are my jeans."
Seriously? They were going out and that was the first thing he said...?
"Oh, um...I must've taken them by accident."
"Meh, it's fine, they look better on you." With a small 'okay then' he followed Yuri down the hall, closing and locking his apartment door behind him before doing so.
"Hey, um-"
"It's not a date, Blondie." Flynn could only stare at the longer haired male as he continued, "I know you too well. You were probably in there freaking out about the two of us going out since I said I loved you, but there's nothing to worry about. I can put my personal feelings aside for one night, Flynn."
That didn't exactly seem fair to the other male, but then again their whole situation was completely against him. And suddenly a strong since of guilt washed over him, causing him to once again hate himself for his indecisiveness.
"Come on, we're supposed to be having fun. I can't take you out with that look on your face, people will think I kidnapped you." A small chuckled escaped the blonde, appreciating the fact that even when he felt his worst Yuri could at least make him laugh.
"All right, all right, come on."
He had expected things to get a little better from then on, but he didn't even make it to the other male's car before falling back into his previous behavior. He couldn't look over at Yuri, opting to instead avert his eyes to the side, staring out of the window once inside his car. When the other male ask what their destination was he merely said that it was up to him, earning a rather irritated sign from Yuri.
"Okay, so what? You wanna forgo hanging out because you can't even look at me straight? Or should we just make-out in the car? I mean you think this is a date anyways, so lets screw whatever we were going to do." The longer haired male crossed his arms as he spoke, completely catching him off guard.
"W-What? No, that's not-"
"Then stop it. I know this is awkward, how the hell do you think I feel? But goddammit Flynn, I wanna take you out as a friend, so stop acting like that." He looked irritated, and rightfully so, but the blonde couldn't help but return the other male's irritation with his own.
"Well sorry, but how do expect me to act normal when it's the first time someone's confessed to me? I can't exactly handle something I have no experience with!" He hadn't meant for his words to hold such a bite to them, but it looked as if the other male didn't seem to mind. Instead he looked...perplexed.
"Wait so..." It really seemed as if the longer haired male was trying his best to hide the smirk that was forming on his lips, "I'm the first person who's ever confessed to you? Well shit Blondie, I knew you were a virgin when it came to certain things, but I really didn't think I was the one to pop your cherry on all occasions!"
Now he was outright laughing at him, forehead pressed against the steering wheel as his shoulders bounced with each loud cackle. Flynn had wanted to tell him off right there, but was far too busy drowning in the sea of embarrassment he had found himself in. He could in no way deny the blush that had spread across his face, the glare that was directed at the other male so strong he figured that it should've burned a hole in his skull at some point.
"S-Sorry, it's just...what the hell kind of social life did you have before meeting me?" The blonde grumbled a bit, but of course he should've expected Yuri telling him to speak up.
"I said I didn't have one..." He sank further in his seat, wanting to just die so he could stop feeling so goddamn embarrassed. A silence filled the air, though the blonde really wasn't worried about the reason since he was too busy trying to rescue what little of his composer he had left.
"...Do you regret it?"
"Regret what?"
"Meeting me..."
For once Flynn didn't hesitate; he told the longer haired male point blank that he didn't regret a thing, and even if there were times he hated the other's guts he never felt their meeting had been a mistake. Yuri just started at him from his position on the steering wheel, the blonde having to look away after a while because he, once again, couldn't read him.
"...You're cute when you're serious."
He wasn't really sure what he choked on, his saliva, the shock or the embarrassment, but it was rather hard to suppress the violent coughing fit in response to the other's words. Apparently it was 'Make Flynn Blush Like an Idiot Day' and no one had informed him of such. Yuri didn't say anything to him after that, and he didn't really mind it all that much.
When the car started, it pulling out of the parking lot before stating down the road, he glanced over at the longer haired male from the corner of his eye. Flynn probably shouldn't haven't been surprised by the half smirk that was plastered on the other male's lips, though it didn't stop him from scrunching his nose up in irritation. When he noticed the two of them driving past the bar he perked up a bit, wondering just where they were headed to.
He decided to let the older man take him wherever, because even if he asked Yuri just where they were headed the answer would probable be just a shoulder shrug. Because the longer haired male wasn't the type to listen to music in his car the small space was filled with an eerier silent, the blonde wondering if he should finally ask the question that had been plaguing him for so long.
"Hey, um..." He rubbed the back of his head as he gathered enough courage to speak, "What...w-what exactly do you like about me?"
Even with his focus on the road the blonde could see the other's eyes widen slightly, though he was sure he wasn't overstepping his boundaries. If the other had feelings for him then he deserved to ask about them. When the came to a red light the longer haired male sighed a bit, fingers clinching the steering wheel as he looked over at him.
"Outside of how you look, you're the exact opposite of me, which I found fascinating at first. I couldn't date someone like me, someone who isn't grounded in reality and impulsive. I've self aware enough to realize that I need stability in my life..." He finished speaking just as the light changed, eyes leaving his as they turned back to the road.
Even if he felt a tinge of embarrassment, he knew what the other male was talking about. From what he had heard Yuri's life had been...eventful, so it wasn't all that surprising to hear him say that he wanted someone stable around him. Sliding down in his seat slightly he ran his fingers through his hair, hating how he was the only thing keeping the older man from doing something that would threaten his life.
Flynn didn't hate that such a huge responsibility was given to him, he hated that he was only recognized his purpose after dealing what could've easily been a horrible blow to the other's psyche. He had been so self-centered in the past, but now that he was aware of everything he felt he had some things to make up for.
"I think you deserve better." It took Flynn a few seconds to register that those words had actually left his lips, horror washing over him as he covered his mouth with his hands. He wasn't really sure how the longer haired male had managed to slam on the break and not be hit by another car, but he had, and all the while Flynn was rather thankful he was wearing his seat-belt.
"...What?"
"I-I..." Shit, now he was really in a bind, "I just thought...I'm pretty plain Yuri, I just thought you deserved someone better, someone who's stable and exciting."
"Quite frankly Flynn...I don't believe I deserve to be with anyone, so to hear to say that I deserve anything makes me pretty happy." He gave him a small smile before driving off, the blonde's face flushing a bit as he turned away as well. Flynn wasn't sure what was worse: him blushing once again or him finding Yuri's smile attractive.
Shit...upon thinking back on things, he had always found Yuri's smile stunning...
Finding something about the longer haired male attractive in a non-sexual way was new for him, because it meant he was looking at something deeper then what was presented to him. When Yuri smiled like that it made his entire being light up, the other male clearly pulling from a profound emotion that he probably didn't show to many people.
As outgoing and spontaneous as he may be, the older man was extremely guarded about his emotions. It was a surprising fact he had learned only after he had seen the real Yuri, the one who had been furious with him for asking if he cared about him, had broken down because he 'couldn't' fail', had told him about his parents and had recently confessed to him. Sure he had seen the longer haired male get mad at him before, but never like that, never with so much hurt behind his words.
That day he finally recognized just how vulnerable Yuri really was...and it was scary to have his then view of the other male replaced with reality. Because reality was painful. Glancing over he noticed how relaxed the other male looked, which was probably due to the conversation they had just had. But it really made him wonder why the older man had such a low opinion of himself, and this made him believe that his self-confidence was just a façade he presented to the world to deal with his supposed shortcomings.
When the car stopped Flynn gazed around, trying to figure out where they were exactly. He found a wooden sign that said 'BLUE SHAMROCK PUB', the blonde removing himself from the car before staring at Yuri from over the roof of the car.
"If you wanted us to go to a bar, why not just stop by the one Judith works at?"
"Because I can't very well get you drunk with her around, she'd totally nag me about it." As he opened his mouth to speak, it seemed one too many things wanted to come up, thus leading him to silence. Had he seriously taken him out just to get him drunk?
No way...Yuri wasn't that irresponsible...At least that's what he thought before watching the longer haired male walk in the direction of the pub entrance.
"Whoa! Wait! Yuri, hey!" He quickly sprinted over to the older man before taking the hand that was about to push the door open, "We can't do this!"
"Why not?"
"Because, I don't know...IT'S ILLEGAL!" They were seriously not having this conversation...maybe he had fallen asleep in the car and this was some kind of weird ass dream. But no...as he discreetly pinched himself there was no way to deny the pain, or the fact that he was still standing there holding Yuri's hand-
Wait...he was holding Yuri's hand...
Quickly he let go, as if the other male's touch had burned him suddenly. Before things became awkward he told Yuri that they should really reconsider doing something else...like just hanging out at his place. Of course this suggestion was instantly shot down, the longer haired male taking his shoulders from behind to push him into the establishment. Once inside they were seated in a booth near the back, the blonde slouching down a bit as he began regretting having agreed to their outing.
"Two beers and a water." The waitress gave him a small nod before going off to fill Yuri's order.
"Oh god..."
"Come on Blondie, relax a little! You know, probably half of the people on campus are getting hammered as we speak while engaging in anonymous sex."
"College isn't all about sex and booze, Yuri..."
"Only people who keep their noses in books says that kind of thing." Flynn quickly shut his mouth, knowing that the other male really did have a point. Even if he had been invited to parties by classmates he always turned them down in favor of studying, so he really had no way to disprove the older man.
"Come on, it's just a beer or two, it's not like I'm forcing you to do shots of vodka." He stared at the longer haired male because of that, wondering if he really believed that the type of alcohol mattered.
"...If I'm drinking, you can't have a drop. And you better swear to me you're taking responsibility for my drunk ass if it comes to that..." He crossed his arms as he spoke, making sure to sound stern enough so that Yuri understood that he wasn't joking around. In turn the other male just started right back at him, eyes scanning his body before coming back to meet his.
"...You really are cute when you're serious."
Okay, seriously...who says those kind of things with such a straight face? Flynn had to look away, muttering a small curse under his breath as he began to wonder if he should watch his words a little more. When the waitress returned he was rather shocked to find that 'a beer' consisted of an entire pint instead of the bottle, the blonde eying it hesitantly before looking over to Yuri.
The longer haired male merely had his fingers knitted together, chin resting on said fingers as a smirk tugged at his lips. He was probably going to do nothing but observe him throughout the entire process...When the waitress was gone Flynn hesitantly wrapped his fingers around one of the glasses, scooting his forward until it sat in front of him.
This was so wrong...but upon thinking about it he had already engaged in the anonymous sex, so hell why not add another thing to the list of shit he'd never thought he'd do. Because the beer had a rather frothy head to it he tired to lift it without spilling anything, which proved rather futile since it still dribbled down his hand before it even reach his mouth.
The beverage was bitter on his lips and even more so in his mouth, and after drinking a bit he finally understood people coughed when drinking alcohol. It burned going down. After his small coughing fit he glanced over at Yuri who seemingly hadn't moved from his position; however, the smirk on his face had definitely gotten wider. Flynn couldn't help but make a face because of this, though it didn't stop him from taking another sip.
After downing the first pint he sat back and signed, deciding that pacing himself was definitely for the best. He figure that if he took it slow he'd recognize the moment he became buzzed, it being a clear sign that he need to ask the other male to take him home.
"So...what do you think?"
"It taste like what I imagine cat piss does." It was the truth...he found nothing enjoyable about drinking something so assertively bitter.
"Then I guess no red Dixie cups for you during parties."
Flynn snorted a bit at his comment, briefly wondering when red Dixie cups became synonymous with college parties. It was probably because they were cheap and could be bought in bulk rather easily. That seemed to make the most sense...but now that he thought about it he was thinking of some pretty random things in that short time span. Sitting back up he shook his head a bit, reaching for the glass of water before Yuri snatched it away.
"What-"
"I have to drink something while I'm here, you know, being barred from having no alcohol and all." Well that was a pretty big dick move...The blonde only gave him a small glare before drawing his attention back to the other pint of beer.
He was already feeling something...but it was pretty minor. So did that mean it was all right for him to drink the other...? Well...half should've been enough for him. Someway or another half became the whole goddamn thing, and before he knew it his cheek was placed against the cool surface of the table they were sitting at. His head was doing...things, things it shouldn't have been doing because he was so far past buzzed. Then again it was pretty stupid of him to assume he knew the difference between buzzed and flat out drunk.
"Hey, Yuri..." Why was he talking? The last thing he needed to be doing was speaking, "About what we talked about over the phone..."
"Hm? What do you mean-?"
"I really did think of your place as home...it made me feel safe."
Yuri just started at him with a look of disbelief on his face, the blonde slightly confused as to why. He was just telling the truth, so why was he looking at him like that? It was a few seconds later that the older man reached his hand over, placing it atop of his head before gently stroking his hair. It was soothing, and if Flynn had been tired it probably would've whisked him away to unconsciousness before he even realized it.
"...You're drunk."
"Probably, yeah." Truth be told he couldn't really know if what he was feeling were merely the early stages of being drunk or if he was already hammered. He knew for a fact that he was lightheaded as hell, his thoughts slowly spiraling around madly as he tried to get a grip.
He knew it was pointless though...
"Flynn-"
"I'm afraid..."
"Huh?"
"Of falling for you...it scares me..." He could hear himself speaking, but as far as understanding what he was saying...everything sounded muffled to his ears, "I don't know what to do with myself...Every time I think about you I get frustrated, because I don't know if what I'm feeling for you is love or friendship or admiration...But I..."
He could feel himself moving, just a bit, and before he knew it he had placed Yuri's hand against his cheek, rubbing his tenderly against his soft skin.
"I'm so sorry for making you wait for my answer..." He snorted a bit before looking away, "You do deserve better than some immature kid..."
Because his sense of time was pretty off, Flynn wasn't sure just how long everything stilled for. There was no sound, no movement and no sign that Yuri had reacted, but he was at least aware enough to know that something was going to happen. But as the two of them sat in silence the blonde felt like he was losing himself little by little, like his body was becoming far more willing to do thing he had been afraid to do in the past.
"...So...how would you feel if I started dating someone else...? I mean, you said I 'deserve better'-"
"I'd fucking hate it..." The hand that was placed against the longer haired male's tightened, "The mere thought of you with someone else pisses me off so much..."
There was another bout of silence before Yuri pulled his hand away, Flynn watching as he fished a small amount of bills out of his pocket before placing them on the table. He didn't remember being hoisted up from his seat, but he figured something must've happened since he was being lead to the front entrance by the other male. Once in the car the blonde slumped down in his seat, staring out of the window as he heard the engine start.
He knew he was babbling nonsense the entire way, mostly about anything he saw out of the window, but all the while Yuri remained silent. It was all right though, because he was sure he sounded like a complete idiot. After blacking out in the car at some point he regained consciousness to find his body being hauled up the stairs by the older man, Flynn wanting to help him out but it seemed his legs were being rather uncooperative. Once on his floor he heard the muffled sound of the other male speaking, the blonde looking his way to see if he could comprehend those words a little better.
"Keys, Flynn, keys."
"Oh, um...pocket." He tried going for it but Yuri beat him to it, fishing his apartment keys out of his left front pocket as he sighed a bit. It was probably for the best though...he wasn't sure how long he would've taken trying to find his keys if the other male had allowed him to quest for them.
Once inside he still didn't forget to say a small 'I'm home' for Aki to hear, though he could hardly tell where the small kitten was in his state. It sounded incredibly slurred to his ears, but he made no comment about it, instead he merely clung to the longer haired male when it seemed he was about to place him down on his mattress.
"Flynn, let go-"
"Stay." It was as simply as he could put it without sounding like an idiot, his grip on the older man tightening as he spoke.
"I...I really don't think I should, Flynn...I-"
At first he wasn't sure why he suddenly decided to kiss Yuri, but after a moment he figured it was because of the look he saw on his face. Even in his drunken state he could recognize the look of someone trying to run away from something, and since he himself was the poster child for that he knew it when he saw it. Initially the longer haired male was tense, probably from the shock of suddenly being kissed, but soon he relaxed into it.
His perception of time seemed to come and go as his state deteriorated more, so he wasn't actually aware of how long the two of them were sucking face before they ended up on his mattress. The older man was hovering over him, letting out small puffs of air as a crimson blush spread across his face. Reaching up he ran his fingers through the other male's hair, repeating the motion once, twice and a third time before coming to rest on one of his cheeks.
"Wait..." Reaching down he pulled the roaming hand away from his crotch, the action earning him a confused look from the other male.
"What's wrong-?"
"Just...wanna make out...no fuck." God he sounded horrible...but at least he got his point across. Yuri just started at him before giving him a small smile, the older man leaning down to allow their lips to connect again.
It was a strange feeling for the two of them to be in such position and just be kissing, but it was the only thing he felt like doing at the moment (other than maybe passing out...his head was swimming like crazy). As sexually attracted as he was to the longer haired male there was nothing sexual about how he felt, no erection, no deep want, no nothing...and for some odd reason it felt right. The blonde held onto him tighter, because whenever something felt 'right' when it came to Yuri it usually meant something deep.
Apparently the upside to being intoxicated was that he couldn't think clearly, and the last thing he wanted was for their moment to be ruined by him over thinking. For once he didn't want to figured out what it all meant...he just allowed the moment to happen. The other male tasted of something sweet and something that was just distantly Yuri, the taste so familiar and comforting. How long had it been since they had done this? Just...make out without any sexual implications?
After thinking about it...the two of them had never been in such a situation before...
As much as he would've liked to continue on with their make out session, it was rudely interrupted when everything around him suddenly went dark. It was as if his consciousness suddenly did a cliff dive without informing him beforehand, because he certainly felt like he was falling. The worst part? He didn't know when he'd hit bottom. If anything it was a frightening feeling, one that reminded him of when he had blacked out after being stabbed. There were no indications of him coming around this time, no flashing lights or muddled sounds that told him that something was going on around him.
It was as if he had started taking those sleeping pill again...but this time around he was well aware that he wasn't dreaming. When it became clear that he was starting to come to, a sense of relief began to wash over him, the blonde never so happy to have the sun beaming down on him. Actually...scratch that...As soon as the light hit his eyes he instantly covered his head with his blanket, groaning as he squeezed his eyelids shut to try and block out the brightness.
Well...this was a rather unfortunate event...He had never once wondered what it would feel like to be hung-over, and now that he was he was going to make damn sure it didn't happen again. At least Yuri's handy work seemed to have one positive outcome: Flynn was never going to touch alcohol for as long as he lived. And speaking of Yuri...Peeking out from his cocoon he didn't see the other male anywhere (it wasn't like his room was all that big), but the smell in the air told him that he hadn't left his apartment. Oh no...the smell of food...
"O-Oh god." Quickly he got to his feet and ran as quickly as he could to the bathroom, very thankful that he had the habit of leaving the toilet lid up. There was no lead up, no dry heaving, it just all came out in one horrible burst after another.
Once it seemed like he had gotten everything out the blonde slumped against the toilet seat, cheek pressed against the pearly white porcelain as he held onto it for dear life in case another wave of nausea hit him. He barely remembered last night after drinking that second pint of beer, and what he did recall he tried to best to figure out why he had done it. He remembered talking to the longer haired male about something, remembered apologizing for something, remembered getting upset and remembered making- oh right...they made out on his bed.
"You look like shit...sorry." Flynn didn't bother to look up, though he did stare at the glass of water that was placed near him.
"Don't worry about it...j-just shut the door so I don't smell-" Before he could even finish he vomited into the toilet once again, but surprisingly enough he didn't seem embarrassed that he was being such a wreck in front of the other male. He did jump a little when he felt a hand on his back, though when it began rubbing gentle circles he relaxed a bit.
"...How much of last night do you remember?"
"Bits and pieces..."
"Ah...so I guess I shouldn't ask questions..."
What was that supposed to mean? Maybe if he could recall more of the previous night then he wouldn't have to feel so confused...but at the same time he was sure he said something he probably never would when sober. When he asked Yuri if he had done anything he deemed 'foolish' the older man just shook his head, though he probably should've been a bit more specific...
"What did I say to make you tear up and blush at the same time...?" Out of all the things he did remember that stuck out the most to him, the stunned look the other male had on his face while the two of them sat at the pub, cheeks beat red as tears steamed down his face, that was the most poignant.
"Shit..." He watched as the other male ran his fingers through his hair, "Kinda wish you hadn't remembered that..."
When Yuri leaned against the sink, his eyes staring into his for a few seconds before looking away, Flynn wasn't sure if he was ready for whatever was about to be said.
"You know...I was really ready to write this whole thing off as another one-sided crush," A bitter chuckled escaped his lips as he gripped the ledge of the sink, "But...last night made me believe that it isn't, that maybe my stupid confession was really worth it."
"...It wasn't stupid." He knew he was overlooking the rest of what the longer haired male was saying, but he would get to that soon enough. Yuri just looked at him for a brief second before looking away, and the blonde was sure he had seen a faint blush on the other's cheeks.
After taking a few sips of water he staggered upward, eyes getting the best view of the longer haired male's face to find that he was indeed blushing. He didn't find it odd though; since Yuri had opened up to him these displays were just further proof of what he felt.
"...How do you know this isn't a one-sided thing...?" He really wished he remembered the actual conversation so he knew how he came to that conclusion...Leaning in a bit, arms coming to wrap themselves around his neck, Yuri smirked at him, the realization slowly dawning on him as the other male spoke.
"Figure. It. Out."
He had just started up a new game of 'I know something you don't know' with Yuri...