truth, all i want is truth...
okay i need to rant.
Seriously my family think they know it all. I'm the bitch, I'm the one always in the wrong. You know what fuck it. I don't think we go a day without arguing. Fucking double standards. My brother is allowed to tell me to fuck off and shout at me constantly and be in a mood with me, but as soon as i say it to him, he says i need to grow up n stop being immature! The cheek of it. Hypocrite. That's one thing I'm not, I know what I'm like I know I can extremely moody, I admit it. But my mom and my brother don't, they think they're angels, seriously. It's like drop the act I know what you're really like. I just show it, because I don't care what people think. They hate it when i say things out loud, i 'embarrass' them a lot. Well at least I'm real, you both are as fake as they come. That's one thing no one can accuse me of being is fake. It grates on me to no end when they have a go at me constantly for things they do everyday, it's just i call them on it and that makes me the bitch of the family. I'm not gonna sit there and take double standards.
Where were they when i was going through a tough time? Burying their heads in the sand, ignoring it, pretending it's not happening. Help? Pft. I had to go through most of it alone. Only my dad talked to me about it, and even that wasn't enough. It was teachers that noticed it, not my parents oh no that would be too much to ask. I had to go to teachers. It says it all. Even now I feel a bit more like myself, I feel it's not ended. It's not final, I haven't finished it. Everyone said they were gonna do something about it. Yeah, right. Just because I've had a few good months they think I'm cured, I'm over it. They don't think I might relapse.
Most of it stems from my lack of a family, and the ones I do have how uncapable they are of showing any kind of loving emotion towards me. I know this. I just want someone to tell me how to cope with it all, when it all gets too much I need someone to tell me how to shut off until it goes away. Because I either go into rage mode, where anger takes over me completely and I completely kick off at them. Or I go depressed. I know being a teenager makes it worse, and half of it is probably how I'm not very good at dealing with my emotions.
One day I'm gonna have a family of my own, I will make sure my kids know every single second how much I love them. I never want them to feel like I feel everyday.
/rant.
Seriously my family think they know it all. I'm the bitch, I'm the one always in the wrong. You know what fuck it. I don't think we go a day without arguing. Fucking double standards. My brother is allowed to tell me to fuck off and shout at me constantly and be in a mood with me, but as soon as i say it to him, he says i need to grow up n stop being immature! The cheek of it. Hypocrite. That's one thing I'm not, I know what I'm like I know I can extremely moody, I admit it. But my mom and my brother don't, they think they're angels, seriously. It's like drop the act I know what you're really like. I just show it, because I don't care what people think. They hate it when i say things out loud, i 'embarrass' them a lot. Well at least I'm real, you both are as fake as they come. That's one thing no one can accuse me of being is fake. It grates on me to no end when they have a go at me constantly for things they do everyday, it's just i call them on it and that makes me the bitch of the family. I'm not gonna sit there and take double standards.
Where were they when i was going through a tough time? Burying their heads in the sand, ignoring it, pretending it's not happening. Help? Pft. I had to go through most of it alone. Only my dad talked to me about it, and even that wasn't enough. It was teachers that noticed it, not my parents oh no that would be too much to ask. I had to go to teachers. It says it all. Even now I feel a bit more like myself, I feel it's not ended. It's not final, I haven't finished it. Everyone said they were gonna do something about it. Yeah, right. Just because I've had a few good months they think I'm cured, I'm over it. They don't think I might relapse.
Most of it stems from my lack of a family, and the ones I do have how uncapable they are of showing any kind of loving emotion towards me. I know this. I just want someone to tell me how to cope with it all, when it all gets too much I need someone to tell me how to shut off until it goes away. Because I either go into rage mode, where anger takes over me completely and I completely kick off at them. Or I go depressed. I know being a teenager makes it worse, and half of it is probably how I'm not very good at dealing with my emotions.
One day I'm gonna have a family of my own, I will make sure my kids know every single second how much I love them. I never want them to feel like I feel everyday.
/rant.