[drabble] Friends & Rivals
Title: Friends & Rivals
Pairing: TottsuKita
Notes: I originally wrote this the week after Kisumai's Yoyogi concerts. Kisumai's debut was announced during the MC of the afternoon show on February 12th. A.B.C-Z came to watch the evening show after that. The next day, snowqueenofhoth and I were talking about what will happen to A.B.C-Z with Kisumai's debut. As some of you know, my way of dealing with things is to write my way through them. Debut is a tricky topic for any Junior fan.
Thank you snowqueenofhoth for also being my beta. I really didn't want to screw this one up.
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As Kitayama toes off his shoes, he takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly. There's already another pair there and his living room light is on. He finds Totsuka curled up on his couch reading a book. The sight is so normal that Kitayama almost forgets that so much has changed in such a short amount of time. Totsuka's even brought Kitayama's comforter out from the bedroom.
He almost forgets, but as Totsuka shifts forward to give Kitayama room to slide in behind him, Kitayama sees that his book is upside down. Not reading then. He wraps his arms around Totsuka and feels a small sense of comfort when Totsuka relaxes back into him.
Resting his chin on Totsuka's shoulder, he murmurs, "Your book is upside down."
"I have a lot on my mind," Totsuka says after a moment. "It's complicated."
Kitayama nods. Complicated is the light way to put it.
There are some strong friendships connecting their units and also the relationship that Kitayama and Totsuka share, and in the envelope that was handed to him during the concert wasn't only Kis-My-Ft2's fate, but A.B.C-Z's as well.
"It hurts," Totsuka whispers. "Being overlooked. When we were younger, it hurt then too, but there was always 'next time'... but now? We aren't that kind of young anymore. There won't be a 'next time'."
Kitayama waits for Totsuka to sort out his thoughts and feels his heart tighten. He can't stand seeing Totsuka in pain and hates feeling that he's part of the cause for it.
"We won't debut," Totsuka says and Kitayama's heart breaks upon hearing Totsuka's voice crack. He holds onto him more tightly. "And as A.B.C., I knew that and somewhere inside, I had accepted that. It was hard, but we knew A.B.C. wasn't going to debut.
“But then Hasshi came and it was like a new wind had blown in. He couldn't do any acrobatics, so we were forced to regroup and work on other things. We started to hope again. It was impossible for A.B.C., but maybe, just maybe, A.B.C-Z could do it."
Kitayama gives a small nod. Kisumai had seen that, had felt it, and as a result, had worked even harder. Friends and rivals. That's how their units had always been, which was why telling A.B.C-Z their news had been one of the most difficult things to do.
He thinks about how the members of A.B.C. and their Z had looked, sitting in their seats in the VIP section during the evening show. Hashimoto had been waving his flag, clapping happily along with the fans, but the other four... Kawai had been a stark contrast to Hashimoto, leaning back in his seat, arms crossed. Goseki had been slouching back, looking smaller than usual, and Tsukada wasn't even sitting next to them, but a few seats over, watching everything without a smile. Totsuka had tried to look like he was enjoying himself, clapping along with Hashimoto, but Kitayama knew better.
Kitayama can only imagine how they must have felt being called on stage for the MC so soon after. When Totsuka completely refused to say anything during the MC, Kitayama had felt everything inside him just drop.
"What will you do now?"
Totsuka takes a deep breath, lets it out slowly. "I don't know yet. I need to talk to the others. Do we stay and go the MA path or do we move on with our lives? Whatever we decide, we'll decide together."
Kitayama doesn't want to see them go, but that isn't for him to say. They fall silent.
"You're so silly," Totsuka murmurs a moment later.
"Hm? Why?"
"Coming home thinking I'd be upset at you for debuting." Totsuka turns in his arms and offers a small smile. "Congratulations. I'm happy for you, I really am."
"Thank you."
Kitayama still feels terrible for the way Totsuka is feeling, but everything will be okay. A.B.C-Z will decide together what their next move will be and he'll just have to be supportive no matter what the outcome may be. They'll be alright.
OWARI
a/n: I know a lot of readers in the JE fandom don't comment, but if you have time, any comments you have would be much appreciated. Thanks.
Pairing: TottsuKita
Notes: I originally wrote this the week after Kisumai's Yoyogi concerts. Kisumai's debut was announced during the MC of the afternoon show on February 12th. A.B.C-Z came to watch the evening show after that. The next day, snowqueenofhoth and I were talking about what will happen to A.B.C-Z with Kisumai's debut. As some of you know, my way of dealing with things is to write my way through them. Debut is a tricky topic for any Junior fan.
Thank you snowqueenofhoth for also being my beta. I really didn't want to screw this one up.
--------------------------
As Kitayama toes off his shoes, he takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly. There's already another pair there and his living room light is on. He finds Totsuka curled up on his couch reading a book. The sight is so normal that Kitayama almost forgets that so much has changed in such a short amount of time. Totsuka's even brought Kitayama's comforter out from the bedroom.
He almost forgets, but as Totsuka shifts forward to give Kitayama room to slide in behind him, Kitayama sees that his book is upside down. Not reading then. He wraps his arms around Totsuka and feels a small sense of comfort when Totsuka relaxes back into him.
Resting his chin on Totsuka's shoulder, he murmurs, "Your book is upside down."
"I have a lot on my mind," Totsuka says after a moment. "It's complicated."
Kitayama nods. Complicated is the light way to put it.
There are some strong friendships connecting their units and also the relationship that Kitayama and Totsuka share, and in the envelope that was handed to him during the concert wasn't only Kis-My-Ft2's fate, but A.B.C-Z's as well.
"It hurts," Totsuka whispers. "Being overlooked. When we were younger, it hurt then too, but there was always 'next time'... but now? We aren't that kind of young anymore. There won't be a 'next time'."
Kitayama waits for Totsuka to sort out his thoughts and feels his heart tighten. He can't stand seeing Totsuka in pain and hates feeling that he's part of the cause for it.
"We won't debut," Totsuka says and Kitayama's heart breaks upon hearing Totsuka's voice crack. He holds onto him more tightly. "And as A.B.C., I knew that and somewhere inside, I had accepted that. It was hard, but we knew A.B.C. wasn't going to debut.
“But then Hasshi came and it was like a new wind had blown in. He couldn't do any acrobatics, so we were forced to regroup and work on other things. We started to hope again. It was impossible for A.B.C., but maybe, just maybe, A.B.C-Z could do it."
Kitayama gives a small nod. Kisumai had seen that, had felt it, and as a result, had worked even harder. Friends and rivals. That's how their units had always been, which was why telling A.B.C-Z their news had been one of the most difficult things to do.
He thinks about how the members of A.B.C. and their Z had looked, sitting in their seats in the VIP section during the evening show. Hashimoto had been waving his flag, clapping happily along with the fans, but the other four... Kawai had been a stark contrast to Hashimoto, leaning back in his seat, arms crossed. Goseki had been slouching back, looking smaller than usual, and Tsukada wasn't even sitting next to them, but a few seats over, watching everything without a smile. Totsuka had tried to look like he was enjoying himself, clapping along with Hashimoto, but Kitayama knew better.
Kitayama can only imagine how they must have felt being called on stage for the MC so soon after. When Totsuka completely refused to say anything during the MC, Kitayama had felt everything inside him just drop.
"What will you do now?"
Totsuka takes a deep breath, lets it out slowly. "I don't know yet. I need to talk to the others. Do we stay and go the MA path or do we move on with our lives? Whatever we decide, we'll decide together."
Kitayama doesn't want to see them go, but that isn't for him to say. They fall silent.
"You're so silly," Totsuka murmurs a moment later.
"Hm? Why?"
"Coming home thinking I'd be upset at you for debuting." Totsuka turns in his arms and offers a small smile. "Congratulations. I'm happy for you, I really am."
"Thank you."
Kitayama still feels terrible for the way Totsuka is feeling, but everything will be okay. A.B.C-Z will decide together what their next move will be and he'll just have to be supportive no matter what the outcome may be. They'll be alright.
OWARI
a/n: I know a lot of readers in the JE fandom don't comment, but if you have time, any comments you have would be much appreciated. Thanks.