The Things Good Sempai Do - HiroSuke
Title: The Things Good Sempai Do (aka 5 times Kitayama and Yokoo try to get Taipi laid)
Author: talisa_ahn
Pairing: Hirosuke
Genre: Humor... attempted anyway
Disclaimer: ... don’t own anything
Rating: PG-13/R-ish
Summary: Kitayama and Wataru think they’ve discovered why Taipi performs Fire Beat the way he does.
A/N: Originally written right after they performed Fire Beat the first time.
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“Ne, Yokoo,” Kitayama said, taking a large bite of rice. “Taisuke’s been acting different lately, yeah?”
Swallowing, he nodded. “I watched the performance we did of Fire Beat the other day… He looks like he’s trying to have sex with the stage.”
He laughed in agreement. “He really needs to stop sticking out his tongue like that!”
“You’re one to talk!” Yokoo smirked, pointing at his friend. “I saw that at the end of the song.”
“Anyway~!” Kitayama said, smiling sheepishly. “What’s up with Taisuke?”
“Nothing much really. At least he hasn’t said anything to me.”
“Hmm… Me either. Maybe that’s the problem. Sexual frustration.”
The two boys looked at each other a moment and then they both smiled. “What kind of sempai would we be if we didn’t help our kouhai?”
.oO@Oo.
ATTEMPT #1: Clubbing
That next night Kitayama and Yokoo took Fujigaya with them to a club. Sometimes it was nice not being one of the more recognizable Johnny’s groups. They were still able to get through most nights without being recognized.
Bringing the first round of drink to their table, Kitayama looked at Fujigaya. “Oi, Taipi! That girl over there is eyeing you out. You should ask her to dance.”
Sipping his drink, Taisuke looked over in the direction that the older boy had indicated. Sure enough, there was a girl looking him up and down. He spun back around, a terrified look on his face.
Yokoo laughed. “No?”
The youngest boy shook his head. “No.”
Kitayama was laughing too. “You don’t think she’s pretty?”
Fujigaya took a deep gulp of his drink. “No, she’s pretty. Like, REALLY nice to look at, but she’s scaring me.”
The two older boys exchanged looks. Yokoo leaned forward and slapped his hand down on Taisuke’s shoulder. “In that case, I’m gonna ask her to dance.”
The younger boy nodded enthusiastically while Kitayama gaped. Sighing heavily he sat next to his friend. “That girl was hot. Why are you letting Yokoo have her when you’re the one she was checking out?”
“She’s too much. It’s too intimidating.” He looked over, watching as the girl and Yokoo grinded on each other on the dance floor. “Those kinds of girls are nice to look at, but that’s it.”
Kitayama looked around at the other girls at the club before sinking lower into the couch. There was no way Fujigaya would like any of the girls here based on that statement. Operation Get-Taipi-Laid had failed for the night. He got up.
Taisuke looked at him with curiosity. “Where are you going?”
“I need a stronger drink.”
.oO@Oo.
ATTEMPT #2: House Party
The following weekend, the members of ABC threw a party at Kawai’s house. Lucky for him, his parents had gone to see his grandparents for a while. Many of the Johnny boys weren’t really used to hanging out with and partying with girls on a frequent basis, but needless to say, with everyone getting pretty drunk, people were starting to pair up.
Taisuke was known to be pretty touchy when he drank, so Yokoo was confused as he watched the younger boy push a girl away for a third time.
When he walked over, Taisuke did not even hesitate before throwing his arms around his neck. “Wataru~!”
Yokoo, pretty drunk himself, sighed before picking up the younger boy and grabbing the girl’s hand. He muttered an apology to Kawai as he dropped Taisuke in the bedroom and nudged the girl in. He locked the door.
Some of the others who had seen what had just happened made cat calls and shouts of approval. Kawai on the other hand looked horrified. He marched up to Yokoo. “That’s my room!”
The other boy just looked at him and blinked.
Fumito pointed at his door. “You just put Taipi and a random girl in my room! DRUNK! In my room! And locked the door!”
Yokoo put an arm around the younger boy’s shoulder. “No worry! We just need to get Taipi laid!” He did not say anything more to Kawai as he called to Kitayama to pour him another drink.
One hour later, Yokoo and Kitayama unlocked the door. Kawai, in his distress, had already crashed out. They looked in and groaned. The girl was knocked out on the bed, but Fujigaya was curled up in the corner furthest from the bed.
Yokoo looked like he wanted to stomp on their friend’s stomach. Kitayama on the other hand laughed. “At least we don’t have to worry about him sleeping with random girls when he drinks without us.”
.oO@Oo.
ATTEMPT #3: Group Date
The house party incident took a little longer to recover from. While Taisuke could only remember flashed from that night, one part he did remember was being hauled into and locked in a room with a girl he didn’t know. And that it was Wataru’s fault.
Taisuke wasn’t mad necessarily, but he was upset. He started hanging out with Kawai and some of the chibis more.
As he watched Taisuke leave the room with Yuto and Yamada, he whapped Yokoo over the head. “Look what you did!”
“Oh stop it,” he said, rubbing the sore spot. “You thought it was hilarious.”
“Well duh. But the point is, now Taipi’s upset at you. Good going,” Kitayama said sarcastically. “How are we gonna help him out if he’s not talking to us?!”
Just at that moment, Totsu stuck his head in. “Hey. Do either of you wanna go on a group date? Goseki just bailed on me.”
.oO@Oo.
Over lunch the next day, Kitayama asked Totsu about the previous night. The younger boy shook his head.
“Fujigaya wouldn’t even go” he managed, shoving a huge bite of rice in his mouth to wash down the meat. “When I asked, he said something about having to help his mom with laundry.”
Kitayama blinked. “Taipi never helps with laundry.”
He rolled his eyes. “Yeah. Either way, ‘cause of that, I had to ask Fumi to go with us to the date.”
.oO@Oo.
ATTEMPT #4: Pron
“Oi! Mitsu!” Yokoo called from within his room.
Kitayama and Fujigaya looked at each other. The three of them were supposed to go grab dinner and a movie so they had decided to meet at Yokoo’s. The door had been unlocked so they just went in. Curious as to why Yokoo wasn’t waiting for them downstairs, they headed to his room. When they reached his door, Taisuke eep’d.
“You guys wanna watch this new porno video I borrowed from Akanishi?”
Without hesitation, Kitayama pushed Taisuke in and locked the door.
.oO@Oo.
ATTEMPT #5: Talking
Needless to say, getting the younger boy to hang out with him the following night had been extremely difficult. And even now, as he drove up the mountain pass, Taisuke was pouting in his passenger seat.
“You have to admit,” he said, taking a turn. “It was funny.”
The pout deepened. “No, it wasn’t. It was interactive.”
It took him a second to understand what he’d meant by ‘interactive’. He howled in laughter. “What?!”
“Akanishi-kun lent Wataru an interactive pornography video. Then you, locked me in the same room as Wataru while he watched said video,” he said slowly, crossing his arms and slouching even more. He thought that it would make him madder when the older boy show absolutely no remorse and continued to laugh, but it actually did the opposite. “Okay… It was a little funny.”
Since the tension was now gone, Taisuke looked at Kitayama. “Why has everyone been trying to set me up lately?”
‘Oh. Busted…’ he thought, pulling into a lookout point. “What do you mean?”
“I don’t know… It just feels like everyone’s been taking my personal life into interest lately,” he said, looking at Kitayama again. “Especially you and Wataru.”
He laughed. “Okay, okay… Guilty.”
“Why?”
“We were just talking one day about the performance we did at Shokura and how you looked like you were trying to have sex with the stage.” The younger’s mouth opened to protest so he continued quickly. “So then we started talking about how we hadn’t seen you go out at all for a while and that maybe it was sexual frustration. So, as good sempai, we decided to try and help you out.”
“What’s so special about me?” he asked, playing with the band on his finger. “You haven’t slept with anyone in a while either!”
“First of all,” Kitayama said rolling his eyes. “Who was dry humping the stage, me or you?”
“… Me…”
“And secondly, I haven’t been sleeping around because there’s someone that I like.”
“What if I said that the reason I don’t sleep around is because there’s someone I like too?” he said, looking out over the city.
“Then why haven’t you done anything about it?”
“I don’t think they feel the same. I see them almost every day, and I thought they might, but recently, they’ve just been confusing me.” He shook his head. “Does anyone know who you like?”
“No.”
“What’s she like?”
“Talkative… REALLY talkative,” he said laughing. “Hmm… really good at telling funny stories, likes making people laugh, and he always says what comes to mind, but never says anything that he knows will hurt the other person. You wanna know who it is?”
“… Me…” Taisuke murmured, smiling at Kitayama.
.oO@Oo.
“Morning Yoko,” he said, opening his front door. “What’s up?”
Yokoo looked at him seriously. “I really think we’ve done it. Taipi’s not even picking up my phone calls now.”
Kitayama imagined the younger boy’s phone, forgotten in his car. “Uh-huh.”
“Have you talked to him since Friday night?”
“… Yes.”
“Was he mad?”
“… No, not really,” he said, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. “But I think it’s safe to say that we don’t have to worry about Taipi’s sex life anymore.”
“Huh?”
Taisuke chose that moment to walk out of Kitayama’s bedroom, wearing only a pair of pajama bottoms. “Hi Wataru… How come you’re here? It’s early,” he said yawning, with no indication that the porn incident had even happened in his voice.
“… eh?!”
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OWARI
A/N: Sorry there's such a lag between when I write things and when they get posted. ^^; I write in class and since my finals are now done, all the fics I've written this quarter are now getting typed up. >.<