[one-shot] Don't Touch Me
Title: Don’t Touch Me
Author: talisa_ahn
Pairing/Fandom: No pairing. EbiKisu fandom, Kitayama centric
Disclaimer: Why no, no I don’t own any of them, but I’m working on it so get back to me later.
Genre: Humor
Rating: PG?
Summary: Kitayama should really just embrace his height. Really, it’s not like he’s the shortest one in the company.
A/N: I don’t quite know how this happened. I was just sitting on the train with my mother of all people and I started typing this out on my phone.
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The first time it happens, Kitayama thinks that the old man must be very drunk. It’s late and he's tired, having had a long day of dance practices, so he just ignores it. After all, the old man would be very embarrassed and it would just make both of their nights just that much longer.
The second time it happens the train is really crowded so he thinks it might have been a figment of his imagination. These things happen all time, but the guy next to him really needs to stop giving him strange looks.
But when it happens again, he's definitely sure, but now he doesn’t know how he's supposed to react. He looks down again to make sure that yes, the salary man standing behind him is still brushing his chubby little fingers against his butt.
Kitayama's pretty sure that the correct response is to scream or call out or something, but then he realizes that he's a guy, and hey, isn’t it supposed to be girls that get groped by old men on the train?
Somewhere in the back of his mind Nika's face pops up telling him that maybe he should turn around and punch the guy in the face. Kitayama scowls, thinking that Nika just wants to be able to point and laugh.
Maybe he'll just stop, the small beacon of hope prays, but when Kitayama looks down again, nope, that hand is still there.
A punch to the face would bring much unwanted attention, he reasons, and as much as he doesn’t want to admit it, he's pretty sure the main reason this guy thinks that he's a girl is because of his height.
“…”
That doesn’t make him happy.
As the train jostles to the side, Kitayama takes aim, stomping on where he assumes the man's little toe is, as hard as he can without making a scene. He knows he's hit his mark when the man bends forward slightly, hissing a little.
Kitayama catches him with a fierce glare. "Stop touching me, asshole."
The man's eye widen slightly as realization dawns upon him.
"Yeah. Not a girl."
The guy takes a large step away and is probably thankful that the train doors choose that moment to open so that he is able to make his escape.
"Fucker," he mutters under his breath as the train pulls away, taking a small satisfaction in the fact that the man was limping a little as he got off the train.
Then next day is his day off, but the day after that, Kitayama is welcomed by cat calls and whistles. He automatically whips around to look at Totsu who is already smiling in that apologetic kind of way.
Fujigaya slings his arm around his shoulder, all grins. "I don’t know why I didn’t see it before, but you would make a fantastic girl!"
Kitayama just sighs. "Did you really have to tell them? Really?"
"Sorry," Totsu says softly. "It slipped out yesterday when I was eating lunch with Gocchi, and then this morning they pulled me in here and, well, I was kinda trapped."
"Great. So Kawai knows too. Why don’t we just start the broken record of-"
"Kitayama is short, cute, and tiny like a-"
He cuts Kawai off by slamming the door in his face before he can sing 'girl', but he grimaces because, god dammit, he can still hear him through the door and he's pretty sure everyone else can too.
He looks at everyone still in the dressing room he shares with Yokoo and Fujigaya. "Ok. Everyone get out so I can take a nap before practice starts."
Totsu gladly takes the opportunity to escape, wincing a little when he opens the door to the continuing choruses of Kawai in the hallway. Taipi giggles while Yokoo hushes him loudly.
"Now, now… Let's be nice. The princess is in need of some beauty sleep."
"Get. Out."
"Grouchy. Must be on his period."
THE END
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A/N: I’m tired… BUT I CAN EAT ACTUAL FOOD AGAIN~! *rejoices* Doctor on Monday told me I had an inflamed small intestine and was restricted to soup and udon for a couple of days. Not happy.
In other news, taking orders for Playzone and Tegomasu. Lemme know if you’re interested.