[one-shot] I Always Hoped (Pre-School Verse)
Title: I Always Hoped
Fandom: Kis-My-Ft2 (TamaMiya)
Rating: PG
Genre: AU, Fluff/Romance
Disclaimer: I don't own any of them.
Summary: They met when they were still in kindergarten, but now that they're older, Miyata's realized something. He likes Tamamori. A lot. Everyone else has realized it, too... Well, everyone except Tamamori.
A/N: This is the Miyata POV version of " I Always Knew" (the high school portion), so I'm pretty certain that reading that first will help to understand this one better.
Dedicated to kira_shadow because she's having a crappy day. ♥ And because she's currently giving me running commentary on my grammatical errors while she reads.
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Miyata stared at Tamamori from across the classroom. Not that he tried very hard, but he really didn’t think he’d be able to stop. Everything about Tamamori interested him… from his long stretch of legs to the way his face would scrunch up when something unpleasant happened, and, secretly his favorite, the way Tamamori thought it perfectly normal to talk to inanimate objects.
Miyata barely glanced back when Nikaido slapped him over the head. Nikaido was unfortunate enough to have to sit behind Miyata this month. It was only the first week, but he already seemed to be fed up with it.
“Stop drooling over him,” Nikaido demanded. “BEFORE I puke.”
Miyata just grinned. “Uh-huh…”
“Moron,” Nikaido muttered, but Miyata’s smile only widened because he could hear the underlying affection in the other boy’s voice.
“If you don’t want to sit behind me so badly, you can always tell the teacher that you can’t see the board,” Miyata suggested helpfully, earning him another whack. Nikaido would never voluntarily sit in the front.
Miyata didn’t think Tamamori would feel the same, but it wasn’t as if he could just change his feelings on command. If he were to be honest, it hurt… a LOT. He was in love with someone who very well might not ever return those feelings and that hurt… not that he’d let anyone else know that.
And who knew? Maybe, just maybe, Miyata could get lucky. Someday.
.oO@Oo.
Miyata wasn’t really the type of person to hide things from the people around him, but while he didn’t try to hide the fact that he stared at Tamamori all the time or that he was constantly next to Tamamori, he did try to hold back on telling the world every single detail of what he was thinking.
It was hard sometimes and he had to consciously prevent himself from saying anything, but the first time he let some of what he was actually thinking slip, Tamamori’s face went red with embarrassment and Miyata couldn’t help but think how cute it was. So he said it again.
“Tama-chan’s new piercing is really hot.”
He considered the day a success when Tamamori still sat next to him for lunch later that day.
.oO@Oo.
Of course, some days were easier than others. Today was not one of those days.
Miyata sat, trying to hold in the panic he felt. He knew that it was entirely unrealistic for him to think that someone else wouldn’t like Tamamori, but he couldn’t help it… and had hoped that it just wouldn’t happen.
The girl who’d written the love letter wasn’t in their class, but she was cute and popular and had a much better chance of Tamamori liking her than Miyata did… and again, that hurt.
Even though he didn’t take his eyes off the letter Tamamori held, Miyata didn’t miss any of the worried glances he was receiving from the others. He knew that the only one that wasn’t aware of his feelings for Tamamori, was Tamamori.
It was a small relief that Tamamori turned the girl down, but it didn’t cheer Miyata up at all. It would happen again. There would be others.
Miyata found that it was getting harder to not think about Tamamori not returning his feelings, which inevitably meant that he hurt more and more often.
The others were worried about him, no matter how hard he tried to keep a smile on his face. Kitayama would just sigh, sit down next to him, and steal some of his food. Fujigaya and Yokoo invited him to go shopping (“Miyacchi… that shirt has a hole in it. Let’s go.” “But it’s my HOLY shirt!”). And Senga invited him over for dinner one night. Miyata never questioned the fact that Senga’s mother considered Nikaido to be a permanent dinner guest.
The fact that they were all trying so hard made him happy, he explained to Kitayama one day, but it didn’t lessen the hurt. It was complicated. Kitayama nodded his head and Miyata knew he understood.
As he walked home that day, Miyata thought about the advice Kitayama had given him.
”When you fall in love with someone, it’s not just something you can control. If you’re meant to be together, you’ll be together. And if not, well, everything happens for a reason.”
“But I hurt,” Miyata told him.
Kitayama’s eyes went soft. “I know. I really wish you didn’t, but it’ll make you stronger. If things don’t work out for you guys in a romantic sort of way, you’ll be able to support him in others. It’ll be okay.”
As Miyata dug his key out of his pocket, he repeated those words. “It’ll be okay.”
.oO@Oo.
But then one day, Miyata felt the floor drop out from underneath him. Tamamori wouldn’t talk to him. He wouldn’t even look at him and Miyata was finding it hard to breathe. He frantically searched his brain, trying to figure out if he’d done or said anything over the last few days that would upset Tamamori, but came up blank. He hadn’t even seen Tamamori over the weekend.
He looked up mournfully at Kitayama and Fujigaya as they sat with him for lunch. It was the first time since he’d come to this school that he wasn’t eating with Tamamori. Miyata teared just thinking about how Tamamori booked it out of the room as soon as class ended.
“What did I do~?” he wailed, ignoring the food in front of him.
“YOU didn’t do anything,” Kitayama said. “Did he, Taisuke.”
Miyata looked between the two other boys, confused. “What do you mean?”
Fujigaya explained what the conversation had been about when he’d gone shopping with Tamamori over the weekend and Miyata could feel the blood drain from his face. “He knows?” he murmured weakly.
“He really didn’t look all that surprised. S’not like you were trying to hide anything… Tama-chan’s just really dense.”
Miyata still felt like he was about to cry. “But he’s not talking to me~!”
“Give him some time,” Kitayama advised. “We’re certain he likes you back… He probably just hasn’t realized it yet.”
.oO@Oo.
Miyata paused in front of Tamamori’s house. He was nervous. Tamamori said that they needed to talk and from what Miyata knew, those words usually meant imminent doom.
They walked to the nearby park together in silence. Miyata was too scared to ask what was going on in Tamamori’s head. As they walked, he thought about the first time they’d met and wondered if Tamamori remembered.
Kisumai-Gumi had been playing with toy cars and trucks. Even hidden behind Tamamori-san’s skirt he’d sparked an interest within Miyata, but then Miyata offered Tamamori his toy truck and Tamamori’s smile had Miyata deciding that this boy was going to be his best friend for life.
When Miyata found out that his seat at his new school was right next to Tamamori, he’d been thrilled. After being apart for such a long time, it felt like coming home. Now, as he followed Tamamori to one of the park benches, he wondered what he would do if Tamamori decided to tell him to get lost. Kitayama and Fujigaya didn’t think that would happen, but what if it did?
“You wanted to talk?” he blurted out, unable to take the silence anymore.
“Miyacchi… Do you like me?”
“Of course. You’re my best fri-“
“No. I mean, do you like me like me?”
“Yes, I do.” There was really no point in lying, but Miyata was scared of what would come next.
When Tamamori stood up, Miyata didn’t look at him. “Gomen, ne, Miyacchi…”
Miyata’s eyes squeezed shut, trying to stop the feeling of his heart plummeting into the ground. Of course Tamamori wouldn’t like him back. Why would he? Why should he? Miyata mentally berated himself for even entertaining such an absurd idea.
So caught up in his thoughts, he jumped a little when Tamamori suddenly took his hand in his, intertwining their fingers.
“I should have realized your feelings sooner.”
Miyata stared at their interlaced fingers, trying to process what was going on. When Tamamori let go and reached into the duffel bag he’d brought with them, Miyata’s brain still hadn’t caught up with him.
“You left before you could learn. I promised a really long time ago that I’d teach you someday when we were together again.”
Tamamori was handing him a pair of roller skates and everything just clicked. Miyata was well aware that he was grinning like an idiot. “I knew I liked you the best!”
Fandom: Kis-My-Ft2 (TamaMiya)
Rating: PG
Genre: AU, Fluff/Romance
Disclaimer: I don't own any of them.
Summary: They met when they were still in kindergarten, but now that they're older, Miyata's realized something. He likes Tamamori. A lot. Everyone else has realized it, too... Well, everyone except Tamamori.
A/N: This is the Miyata POV version of " I Always Knew" (the high school portion), so I'm pretty certain that reading that first will help to understand this one better.
Dedicated to kira_shadow because she's having a crappy day. ♥ And because she's currently giving me running commentary on my grammatical errors while she reads.
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Miyata stared at Tamamori from across the classroom. Not that he tried very hard, but he really didn’t think he’d be able to stop. Everything about Tamamori interested him… from his long stretch of legs to the way his face would scrunch up when something unpleasant happened, and, secretly his favorite, the way Tamamori thought it perfectly normal to talk to inanimate objects.
Miyata barely glanced back when Nikaido slapped him over the head. Nikaido was unfortunate enough to have to sit behind Miyata this month. It was only the first week, but he already seemed to be fed up with it.
“Stop drooling over him,” Nikaido demanded. “BEFORE I puke.”
Miyata just grinned. “Uh-huh…”
“Moron,” Nikaido muttered, but Miyata’s smile only widened because he could hear the underlying affection in the other boy’s voice.
“If you don’t want to sit behind me so badly, you can always tell the teacher that you can’t see the board,” Miyata suggested helpfully, earning him another whack. Nikaido would never voluntarily sit in the front.
Miyata didn’t think Tamamori would feel the same, but it wasn’t as if he could just change his feelings on command. If he were to be honest, it hurt… a LOT. He was in love with someone who very well might not ever return those feelings and that hurt… not that he’d let anyone else know that.
And who knew? Maybe, just maybe, Miyata could get lucky. Someday.
.oO@Oo.
Miyata wasn’t really the type of person to hide things from the people around him, but while he didn’t try to hide the fact that he stared at Tamamori all the time or that he was constantly next to Tamamori, he did try to hold back on telling the world every single detail of what he was thinking.
It was hard sometimes and he had to consciously prevent himself from saying anything, but the first time he let some of what he was actually thinking slip, Tamamori’s face went red with embarrassment and Miyata couldn’t help but think how cute it was. So he said it again.
“Tama-chan’s new piercing is really hot.”
He considered the day a success when Tamamori still sat next to him for lunch later that day.
.oO@Oo.
Of course, some days were easier than others. Today was not one of those days.
Miyata sat, trying to hold in the panic he felt. He knew that it was entirely unrealistic for him to think that someone else wouldn’t like Tamamori, but he couldn’t help it… and had hoped that it just wouldn’t happen.
The girl who’d written the love letter wasn’t in their class, but she was cute and popular and had a much better chance of Tamamori liking her than Miyata did… and again, that hurt.
Even though he didn’t take his eyes off the letter Tamamori held, Miyata didn’t miss any of the worried glances he was receiving from the others. He knew that the only one that wasn’t aware of his feelings for Tamamori, was Tamamori.
It was a small relief that Tamamori turned the girl down, but it didn’t cheer Miyata up at all. It would happen again. There would be others.
Miyata found that it was getting harder to not think about Tamamori not returning his feelings, which inevitably meant that he hurt more and more often.
The others were worried about him, no matter how hard he tried to keep a smile on his face. Kitayama would just sigh, sit down next to him, and steal some of his food. Fujigaya and Yokoo invited him to go shopping (“Miyacchi… that shirt has a hole in it. Let’s go.” “But it’s my HOLY shirt!”). And Senga invited him over for dinner one night. Miyata never questioned the fact that Senga’s mother considered Nikaido to be a permanent dinner guest.
The fact that they were all trying so hard made him happy, he explained to Kitayama one day, but it didn’t lessen the hurt. It was complicated. Kitayama nodded his head and Miyata knew he understood.
As he walked home that day, Miyata thought about the advice Kitayama had given him.
”When you fall in love with someone, it’s not just something you can control. If you’re meant to be together, you’ll be together. And if not, well, everything happens for a reason.”
“But I hurt,” Miyata told him.
Kitayama’s eyes went soft. “I know. I really wish you didn’t, but it’ll make you stronger. If things don’t work out for you guys in a romantic sort of way, you’ll be able to support him in others. It’ll be okay.”
As Miyata dug his key out of his pocket, he repeated those words. “It’ll be okay.”
.oO@Oo.
But then one day, Miyata felt the floor drop out from underneath him. Tamamori wouldn’t talk to him. He wouldn’t even look at him and Miyata was finding it hard to breathe. He frantically searched his brain, trying to figure out if he’d done or said anything over the last few days that would upset Tamamori, but came up blank. He hadn’t even seen Tamamori over the weekend.
He looked up mournfully at Kitayama and Fujigaya as they sat with him for lunch. It was the first time since he’d come to this school that he wasn’t eating with Tamamori. Miyata teared just thinking about how Tamamori booked it out of the room as soon as class ended.
“What did I do~?” he wailed, ignoring the food in front of him.
“YOU didn’t do anything,” Kitayama said. “Did he, Taisuke.”
Miyata looked between the two other boys, confused. “What do you mean?”
Fujigaya explained what the conversation had been about when he’d gone shopping with Tamamori over the weekend and Miyata could feel the blood drain from his face. “He knows?” he murmured weakly.
“He really didn’t look all that surprised. S’not like you were trying to hide anything… Tama-chan’s just really dense.”
Miyata still felt like he was about to cry. “But he’s not talking to me~!”
“Give him some time,” Kitayama advised. “We’re certain he likes you back… He probably just hasn’t realized it yet.”
.oO@Oo.
Miyata paused in front of Tamamori’s house. He was nervous. Tamamori said that they needed to talk and from what Miyata knew, those words usually meant imminent doom.
They walked to the nearby park together in silence. Miyata was too scared to ask what was going on in Tamamori’s head. As they walked, he thought about the first time they’d met and wondered if Tamamori remembered.
Kisumai-Gumi had been playing with toy cars and trucks. Even hidden behind Tamamori-san’s skirt he’d sparked an interest within Miyata, but then Miyata offered Tamamori his toy truck and Tamamori’s smile had Miyata deciding that this boy was going to be his best friend for life.
When Miyata found out that his seat at his new school was right next to Tamamori, he’d been thrilled. After being apart for such a long time, it felt like coming home. Now, as he followed Tamamori to one of the park benches, he wondered what he would do if Tamamori decided to tell him to get lost. Kitayama and Fujigaya didn’t think that would happen, but what if it did?
“You wanted to talk?” he blurted out, unable to take the silence anymore.
“Miyacchi… Do you like me?”
“Of course. You’re my best fri-“
“No. I mean, do you like me like me?”
“Yes, I do.” There was really no point in lying, but Miyata was scared of what would come next.
When Tamamori stood up, Miyata didn’t look at him. “Gomen, ne, Miyacchi…”
Miyata’s eyes squeezed shut, trying to stop the feeling of his heart plummeting into the ground. Of course Tamamori wouldn’t like him back. Why would he? Why should he? Miyata mentally berated himself for even entertaining such an absurd idea.
So caught up in his thoughts, he jumped a little when Tamamori suddenly took his hand in his, intertwining their fingers.
“I should have realized your feelings sooner.”
Miyata stared at their interlaced fingers, trying to process what was going on. When Tamamori let go and reached into the duffel bag he’d brought with them, Miyata’s brain still hadn’t caught up with him.
“You left before you could learn. I promised a really long time ago that I’d teach you someday when we were together again.”
Tamamori was handing him a pair of roller skates and everything just clicked. Miyata was well aware that he was grinning like an idiot. “I knew I liked you the best!”