Comments | talkstocoyotes: Gift of Exile Part 1, Chapter 3

talkstocoyotes

Gift of Exile Part 1, Chapter 3

Jul 11, 2006 11:35

Chapter 3

The photographer peered through the camera lens long enough that any of the wedding party might have thought he was meditating, or had fallen asleep on his feet. “Jenny, we need you to get up on the steps,” he said. And after another endless pause, “Mr. Del Mar, please move a bit to your right. There’s a glare on you from the window.” ( Read more... )

Comments 20

rhye July 12 2006, 15:22:25 UTC

ooooh. God I hate to be this commenter. I love your story, your writing is gorgeous, your characters well-developed and in-character. You rlast chapter made me feel something new. But I just can't do an Ennis/David story. I still have nightmares about Cyn's Ennis/Mike so blame her, but I feel too nauseous from the five words of conversation they already had, not to mention hearing nothing/feeling nothing at the end of this chapter. I might skim chapter 4, but if this is the directionit's heading, I'm going to have to bow out. I hate myself for having to do it, but I could no more base jump the Empire State Building than read Ennis/David. In fact, I', far more likely to do the basejumping bit. However, if you're going somewhere different from that. If David is something more... If you think I can trust you with this fragile thing inside of me that has some sort of balking, nauseating fear of Ennis "moving on", please let me know, because your talents are worth reading. I just... reading Ennis/Anyoneelse for me is sort of like having a ( ... )

Nightmares talkstocoyotes July 12 2006, 16:01:30 UTC

That's going to have to be your choice ( ... )

Re: Nightmares rhye July 12 2006, 19:23:23 UTC

*ooh God now you hate me* I swear I'm just trying to be honest. I thought it would be pretty negative for me to review your last two chapters, say I was reading this one, and then just not leave a comment. I didn't want to be the person who secretly slunk off without saying why, leaving you to wonder what had happened. Is this the "it's not you, it's me" of fanfic? Maybe. Maybe I wish I had never read "The Greatest Love". But regrets aside, I'm just not at that place yet, and have no idea when I will me.

I'm honestly not trying to compare your story to another. But none of us come to literature without baggage, just like we don't come to relationships without baggage. We've all read something before, and in this case that something really tore me apart. I haven't gotten over that something, and seeing anything to remind me of it puts me in a very unpleasant and unstable emotional place (although what this means about my personal beliefs about the afterlife is a lot harder to determine ( ... )

Re: Nightmares talkstocoyotes July 14 2006, 13:30:47 UTC

It occurred to me that this storyline might look a bit different to you if you have some info about Jack's specific reasons for sticking around: they don't relate at all to the other story you mentioned.

I'd be glad to explain it to you but don't want to do that here as it would involve too many spoilers. If you want to message me at www.davecullen.com/forums registration there is free & takes just a few minutes, if you're not already a member.

Thread 6

wannabebrit July 16 2006, 00:42:12 UTC

Oh, I like where this is heading! I'll be interested to see how Ennis and David get along.

I really like Ennis trying to dance with his daughter too -- very sweet.

ky77ccl July 17 2006, 17:00:09 UTC

And... there's the cliffhanger!!! =)

Well, I'll be hanging on, for sure.

One of the most illuminating parts of this chapter was when the snide comment was made about Nathan and David and Ennis immediately switched to self-beratement mode... I for one am glad Ennis is getting to meet another one of 'them.' He deserves to realize that he is neither a pariah nor a paranah.

nB

valleyview July 21 2006, 06:35:57 UTC

Outstanding new fic...well-written and very interesting...absolutely love it - and love the "metaphysical" aspect. More, please!

louisev September 26 2006, 13:01:29 UTC

ha ha! got my own writing done early today and got back to this at last. A pickup at a wedding! Haven't read that before! *eagerly pages forward*.

Very nice setting and action there, with the matriarch from Georgia boring Ennis to death with patter about Curt's family and the subtle undercurrent of his thoughts.

talkstocoyotes September 26 2006, 14:58:19 UTC

Thanks for the insights! Actually, I'd guess Ennis is both bored and stressed out but the grandmother and cousin served a useful plot function: the dreaded "exposition" and background.