Primeval Fanfic: The American Guy
Title: The American Guy
Author: TalliW
Characters: Stephen/Male
Rating: R, slash
Disclaimer: Primeval are the property of Impossible Pictures. I write just for fun. So don't bother me.
Acknowledgments: Thanks to fredbassett for beta-reading. I couldn't have done it without you.
AN: Just some fun with the differences between British and American English. It can be confusing for foreigners sometimes.;)
"Get off the pavement!" means: ------> USA: "Get off the road!"
------> UK: "Get off the footpath."
"pants" means: ------> USA: trousers
------> UK: underpants
"suspenders" ------> USA: pair of braces
------> UK: the lingerie the Americans name garter / strap
"I'll wash up." ------> USA: "I'll have a wash."
------> UK: "I'll wash the dishes."
"rubber" means: ------> USA: condom / johnny
------> UK: eraser/ etcher
"fag" means: ------> USA: male homosexual / gay man
------> UK: ciggy / smoke
"torch" means: ------> USA: flambeau
------> UK : flashlight
"I'll give you a ring." means: -----> USA: "I'll give you a finger circlet."
------> UK: "I'll give you a call!"
Stephen was knackered. The good looking young man he had met at the club had been an effort.
And he seemed to be a bit dumb too.
But he had an arse to die for and his mouth was made for blowing.
So Stephen hadn't thought twice about inviting him home.
They walked the short distance to his flat. Stephen almost had an heart attack when someone called in front of them, "Get off the pavement! There's a hole ahead," and the guy, named Mike, who was walking in the road yet, jumped on the pavement and by a snatch fell down in the deep gap. Only Stephen's fast reaction had rescued the careless moron.
Now the guy stood there in his living room, his trousers nearly sliding down his narrow hips.
"I think I need suspenders," he grinned.
Stephen grimaced. Why did he always pick up the wrong guys? He didn't like men who prefered coquettish lingerie.
Whilst Stephen opened a bottle of wine, Mike sat down on the couch in the living room and munched some barbeque flavoured Pringles, Stephen's favourites.
When Stephen served the drinks, Mike barely took any notice of the expensive wine but he did eat some more Pringles.
"Do you have a napkin?" Mike asked suddenly and rubbed his slightly greasy fingers against each other. Stephen shook his head.
"OK! Then I'll wash up!" Mike said to Stephen, before he sprung up and disappeared out of the room.
Stephen looked puzzled. He had nothing against a neat person but prefering washing up to having hot mind-blowing sex with him was a little odd.
"Do you have a rubber?" called Mike two minutes later from the direction of the bathroom.
Stephen got more confused. Just now Mike had wanted to wash up and now he was in the bathroom and wanted a rubber.
"What for?" he asked.
"Don't tell me you've never done it with a rubber? It's not going to happen without it. I need a rubber," Mike declared.
"If you insist...," mumbled Stephen and started to look for a rubber in his desk drawer.
He forgot the rubber immediately when Mike came out of the bathroom, all cleaned up and shirtless, the button on his jeans already open.
The boy leaned against the doorframe, seductively, and said: "Why don't you show me your nice bedroom?"
Stephen licked his lips. Then he walked over to the sexy boy and pulled him to a fiery kiss. Taking Mike by the hand, Stephen hurried into his bedroom.
"Get out of your clothes," he demanded and shed his own onto the floor.
Stephen sat down on the bed, naked, and turned to the boy.
Mike stood there clad only in his pants.
"Take off your pants," Stephen whispered, aroused, and made himself comfortable on the bed.
"I already have."
"No, I mean your pants. Pull them off."
"My pants are already off, just take a closer look at me."
Stephen peered again to Mike. The boy was still standing there in his pants.
'He really wasn't bright,' Stephen thought.
'Never mind!' With a swift move Stephen pulled Mike down on the bed and shoved his pants down.
"Think of the rubber," Mike whispered.
'The rubber again.' Stephen rolled his eyes. The boy was a really sick guy.
Too bad, today he would just get a plain old fuck.
Stephen snatched a condom and a tube of lube out of his bedside cabinet and prepared himself and the boy.
With three fingers in the arse Mike didn't ask for a rubber again but wriggled needily on the bed presenting his lubricated hole to Stephen.
The boy was hot and tight and the sex was fantastic. Stephen needed some relaxation after all the trouble he'd been through.
A cigarette and a blowjob later Stephen was truly spent.
"I need another fag," he said and groped for his cigarette packet on the bedside cabinet.
"Wasn't I good enough for you?" Mike cried and Stephen had hands full trying to soothe the distraught boy. And he had still no clue why the guy had flipped out about a second after-sex cigarette.
Later, the guy had nearly burnt off Stephen's hair with a burning piece of wood. And all Stephen had done was ask him to get a torch from the living room so he could look for his mobile under the bed.
Now Stephen was finally fed up with this psycho.
"I will give you a ring." he promised, half-heartedly, and hoped the guy would understand and leave.
Instead, Mike launched into a long-winded explanation about how he was too young for such a commitment and it was only a one-night stand and Stephen was really nice but not exactly his type.
After Mike had finally gone, Stephen promised himself that he'd never again bring an American guy home.