Primeval Fanfic: A Stack Of Complaints
Title: A Stack Of Complaints
Author: TalliW
Rating: K
Characters: James Lester, Mr. Mammoth
Disclaimer: Primeval are the property of Impossible Pictures. I write just for fun.
Acknowledgments: Thanks to Fredbassett for beta-reading. I couldn't have done it without you.
AN: This is dedicated to Fredbassett for the fantastic work she does as my beta reader. I know it's not easy. Thank you for your great help.
James Lester crumpled up the sheet of paper and flung it, with style, into the the wastepaper bin.
Every child knew elephants liked bananas. The dimwit only had himself to blame for deciding to eat his snack in front of a hungry mammoth.
Who hired such idiots in the first place? Surely there were more intelligent staff available?.
He took the next memo and read the title:
Complaint against the elephant-like animal of Columbian heritage concerning the unlawful appropriation of personal property.
Lester furrowed his brow. This was really getting ridiculous.
What moron would wear a leopard skin cloak in the presence of a mammoth and why would a proper civil servant own such a provocative piece of cloth in the first place?
He really should have a long talk with the personnel manager about his selection of staff.
The memo took its rightful place in the waste basket, torn into dozens of pieces.
James Lester sipped at his cup of coffee whilst he looked into the next memo and nearly spilled the hot liquid on his new tie.
For heaven's sake, how could a single mammoth produce enough liquid to flood the entire ground floor?
Fortunately Connor Temple had insisted on the expensive but extra waterproof-coated electronic devices or the Prime Minister would have another fit.
The budget for the Anomaly Project was already tight enough.
He just ignored the rest of the memos in his in-box and skimmed through the book about elephants that Abby Maitland had lent him.
Mammoths were the ancestors of elephants after all and a man in his position had to be informed about the things he was dealing with.
'Elephants can remember and have a good insight in human nature,' the book told him.
He heard his assistant's familiar screech and watched in amusement as Oliver Leek was dragged back by his waistband by an angry mammoth and dumped into his large water bowl.
Perhaps he should fire the personnel manager and put the mammoth in his place. It seemed to have more common sense than most of his employees here.
Letting it out of the cage every once in a while had been a brilliant idea of that lively blonde girl.
'Elephants are intelligent creatures and can retain the knowledge from many generations in their memories.'
James Lester spied Nick Cutter secretly feeding the huge animal an apple and snickered as the man had to fend off the mammoth's snout which was sniffing at his trouser pockets in search for another treat.
'Clever lad,' he thought and grinned when Cutter took to his heels.
'Elephants have a fine sense of smell and taste.'
With a shriek, Jon Lyle sprung aside after the mammoth pinched him in the arse.
'Indeed, mammoths have a refined taste," James Lester smiled smugly and took the whole pile of complaints to throw them into the rubbish bin.
You just didn't take action against a like-minded friend.
Besides he'd heard that Christine Johnson, his old nemesis, wanted to visit the ARC next month.
You could never have enough allies against this sort of woman. She was a raptor in expensive clothes, as he liked to say.
The sentence 'Elephants don't like predators' sprung to his mind.
Perhaps the Johnson problem would resolve itself. Especially when you had huge, strong friends after all.
And there was still enough room in the waste basket for another stack of complaints.
James Lester adjusted his tie and walked down the ramp with a bunch of bananas in his hand.
It was time for lunch and a little chat with his friend...