Primeval WIP: Revelations (33/...)
Title: Revelations (33/...)
Author: TalliW
Pairings: Lester/Cutter, Stephen/Lyle
Rating: T
Disclaimer: Primeval are the property of Impossible Pictures. I write just for fun.
Lyle,Finn and Ditzy belong to Fredbassett.
Acknowledgments: Thanks to Fredbassett for beta-reading. I couldn't have done it without you.
Nick walked around his house, not sure what to do until Lester arrived.
He hadn't closed the front door, just left it off the latch. James shouldn't have to feel like a stranger who had to ring the doorbell.
He thought about preparing a meal but there wasn't much in the fridge or the cupboards at the moment and it wasn't exactly going to be a friendly visit.
Lester would probably want to get out of the house as fast as possible.
Finally he sat down on the couch. It wasn't good to get too agitated.
Suddenly Nick felt James was close. His heart beat faster and his breath hitched when the front door creaked.
He lay back on the couch with closed eyes trying to calm his heart down to a steady beat and hoping his body wouldn't betray him in some improper way.
"Cutter, you don't have to pretend. I know you're not sleeping," a slightly amused voice said.
Nick sighed and opened his eyelids, looking directly into the steady eyes of James Lester standing in front of him.
Hearing James calling him by his surname again, creating a distance between them which Nick didn't feel, hurt and reminded him of what he'd lost.
Nick sat up quickly and hunched his upper body over his lap while Lester walked over to the chair and took a seat.
"I'm here. Now spill what the medic wouldn't tell me and you didn't want too say at the ARC. I've saw you reacted angrily at the weekend cottage but I don't know why. So please enlighten me."
Nick took a deep breath. He didn't know how to start. "I was jealous," he said finally.
At James' puzzled look he saw he'd have to get more specific.
"I was jealousy of Babyface at the cottage. Bloody hell, he was lying on top of you, wiggling his arse."
"Cutter, he's still almost a kid."
"But young and attractive."
"The boy only got me out of harm's way and now he's getting a hard time off everyone. I thought you were more reasonable, Cutter."
"Sorry, I can't help it. It looks the drug has made me a bit too possessive."
"How strongly is it still affecting you? Ditzy told me he'd had to inject you with a sedative. Is there danger you'll attack someone else because your jealousy?
"I could have done today. If Jetrow and Finn hadn't dragged me into the medical section I'd probably have beat that young man into a bloody pulp."
"Then I should better stay out of danger to avoid being rescued by young soldiers in the future," Lester said with a small smile, in an attempt to relax the serious conversation a little.
Nick smiled sadly back at him. "That could be helpful."
"Is this jealousy related to me in particular or also to other members of your team?
"Of course it's only related to you. It's always you, James," Nick whispered.
Lester grimaced, frustrated. "Cutter, I told you I'll try to forget the incident. But it's harder than I'd expected. I want to continue our relationship. Yet... it isn't working."
Nick's heart stopped for a moment then proceeded to a wild staccato. So this was the final moment. It had come faster than he'd thought.
But he couldn't blame James. He'd brought it all on himself. If he only he'd been stronger to resist the drug...
Nick Cutter wiped that thought away. You couldn't change the past. He'd learnt that the hard way. You had to accept your mistakes and try to go on.
But Nick didn't know right now if he'd still got the strength to move on and if he wanted to live that miserable life anymore. Without James he was lost.
"Are you giving up on us? Already?" he said quietly, feeling his heart breaking.
"That's not what I meant."
"What do you mean then?" Nick asked anxiously, hope and fear conflicting in his mind.
"I've wanted to go back to the way it was before, but it doesn't work. Every time I think about you and recall happy memories from us they're tainted from flashbacks of the incident now," Lester struggled to explain.
"I've thought hard the last days how to proceed. I think the option remaining is to leave it all behind and start over again. We have to create new memories from the beginning if you're willing to do that."
"I'll go along with anything you want, as long I don't lose you. What do you have in mind? Pretend we don't know each other outside work?"
Lester nodded. "You're Professor Cutter and I'm Lester, the civil servant, who is is charge of with the Anomaly Project. No private names, no intimate information known by either of us about the other."
"That shouldn't be hard for you. You call me by my surname now all the time." Cutter said bitterly.
Lesters eyes softened: "Nick," he whispered.
"No, it's OK. I'm sorry. I don't have the right to say something like that to you. I'm glad you're giving me a new chance. I'll try not to disappoint you."
"Is there something else I should know about your condition?" Lester eyed him quizzically. "I have noticed that you prefer unusual clothing for this season and your current posture isn't very healthy for your back."
Nick Cutter drew a deep breath. That was the topic he had feared the most. It would put James more under pressure and he would feel cheap.
But again James made it easy for him. "Is that part of your attempts to hide certain unwanted bodily reactions?"
Cutter just nodded, embarrassed.
"Talk with Lieutenant Owen about that problem. Perhaps he knows about some anti-stimulants which can help you until the lab has generated a counter agent for the drug or until the effects fade away. If you feel you're starting to lose control then call the medic immediately and stay at home until he comes and gives you a depressant."
A soft smile played on Lester's lips.
"Otherwise I'll see you tomorrow at the ARC. And I hope in the next few days you'll find a nice way to approach me and persuade me to go on a date with you on Friday night."
James Lester stood up and wished him a good night with a warm smile.
When James was gone, Nick desperately pulled out his erect cock and started to stroke himself, the picture of James smiling at him still fresh in his mind.
His fingers moved around his tip the way James used to do. He touched his nipples and remembered how James lips had closed around the nubs and he imagined his lover spurring him on.
He came with James' name on his lips and afterwards slumped down on the floor, curled up into a ball.
Come was smeared on his hands and belly and tears glittered in his eyes. Nick Cutter felt ashamed and utterly miserable.
Stephen and Jon Lyle stumbled into the flat after the third attempt to unlock the door.
The door closed with a bang when Lyle pressed Stephen against the wooden surface.
"I can't wait to get you naked and to touch your beautiful smooth skin," Lyle whispered whilst he
fumbled to get the other man out of his clothes.
Stephen, who had until now been eager to get naked himself, froze suddenly and tried to shove Lyle away.
Lyle, not used to men who suddenly chickened out, drew back in confusion.
"Hart, what's wrong? Getting cold feet? Don't worry, I'll lead you through it. The first times are always a little odd but afterwards it's a lot of fun," he tried to console the younger man.
But it didn't seem to work. Stephen just walked into his living room and slumped down on the couch.
There seem to be a bigger problem than first time anxiety.
"My skin isn't beautiful. In fact it's ugly. If you'd seen my back you'd have second thoughts about getting close to me." Stephen said quietly, not daring to look him in the eye.
Lyle regarded him with a hard stare. "Show me," he ordered.
Stephen slowly lifted his shirt and turned around.
Fine white lines marred his back, among those the Lieutenant could see some slashes still inflamed and covered with scabs.
Lyle studied the scars on Stephen's skin. The wounds must have been deep to have left such reminders.
He knew the scars would get paler with time but never fade completely. Hart would be marked for the rest of his live.
"Whip marks. Must have been hard blows," he remarked.
Stephen nodded in agreement.
Now Lyle could understand the man's worry.
He also wore some scars he preferred to forget.
On several occasions a man he'd picked up at a club had refused outright to stay after he'd seen the scars on his body.
Sure, he'd got his scars mostly in the line of work but that didn't make the memories any less painful.
That Stephen Hart must have gone along with the whipping made him feel very uneasy.
"You let that happen voluntarily? Do you enjoy that sort of foreplay? I think I need to have details beforehand so I can satisfy you properly," Lyle said, with a spark of disgust in his voice.
Stephen's eyes briefly flared up with fury before he bowed his head in shame. "I know it sounds like a slim excuse but I was drunk when it happened.
And the whipping was afterwards and not before... I was so out of my head I barely registered what happened until it was too late. When you are chained up there isn't much you can do to stop it. I don't usually go for that sort of thing."
"Who treated you like this? Someone I know?" A horrible thought rushed into Lyle's mind. "Did Cutter do this to you?"
"No, it was Helen. She was angry."
"This wounds are relatively fresh, Hart. Are you telling me that you've repeated your affair with Helen Cutter after everything that has happened?" Lyle couldn't believe it. No one could be so stupid.
"Then it's hardly surprising, Cutter was furious with you. There seem to be rather a lot of things you've left out in our discussions."
Jon Lyle realised with disenchantment that it had been a bad idea to make a pass at Stephen.
He should have followed his first instinct not to get to close to the guy or he would get burned.
Blame Jetrow and his interference.
"Lyle, it was only a single time after I'd had the row with Cutter and I was spending my time more in bars than at home. You must think I'm complete moron but I was just so alone... "
Stephen finally met his eyes. "It never crossed my mind that it could disgust you or I wouldn't have pursued you. I've seen your body in the locker room. You have scars too..."
When Lyle didn't answer Stephen continued sadly: "I can understand your reaction. We'll just act like this evening never happened. I hope I'll not lose you as friend because of that too."
Stephen stood up and walked into his bedroom. He dropped down on the bed and waited for the clicking of the door falling shut.
Instead the bed dipped down beside him.
Lyle had made up his mind the moment he had seen the downhearted look on the other man's face.
What did the minor danger of getting burned matter if there was the chance of finding love and happiness.
"I'm not so shallow to be put off by a few scars. I was more shocked that you'd let Helen do that to you," Lyle declared and turned on his side.
"Just to make sure we're on the same page here. I like to be a little rough occasionally but I don't much like BDSM. And I don't want a cheap affair. But at the moment I've doubts whether we would make a good match. Perhaps we should get to know each other better before we come to a decision."
Stephen Hart rolled onto his side and faced the other man. Lyle's hazel eyes were resting on him, asking him silently if he was ready to accept this terms.
When Stephen gave his consent with a nod the dark-haired man added impishly: "But that doesn't mean we can't make out a little now and then. You're too good a kisser, Hart, to waste your talent."
"Damn it, Jon, call me Stephen or you can forget the snogging." He was feigning irritation but Lyle could hear the relief in Hart's voice.
"Stephen," Lyle whispered before he drew him into a long intense kiss.
Who was he kidding?
Stephen was hot and he was drawn to him like a moth to the flame.
But a soldier was used to playing with fire after all.