Primeval Fanfic: The Thought Of An Ex-Police Officer On A Cucumber
Title: The Thoughts Of An Ex-Police Officer On A Cucumber
Author: TalliW
Characters: Danny Quinn, Captain Becker, Connor Temple
Rating: T
Disclaimer: Primeval are the property of Impossible Pictures. I write just for fun.
Acknowledgments: Thanks to Fredbassett for beta-reading. I couldn't have done it without you.
AN:
The Cucumber tree (Magnolia acuminata) is a large forest tree of the northeastern United States and Canada.
For further information just look at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Magnolia_acuminata
Danny Quinn looked down at the contents of his shopping basket and scratched his head.
Two bags of crisps, some coke and beer and a frozen dinner wasn't exactly healthy food for a man of his age. Perhaps he should add some vegetables or fruit.
He circled around the wide variety of fruits and vegetables in their respective sections of the supermarket and couldn't decide what to buy. He squeezed a sugar melon, nibbled a cherry, patted an aubergine and eyed the bananas.
Suddenly he spied the cucumbers right beside the radishes and the memory of a talk he had accidentally overheard in the ARC came to his mind.
Becker had mentioned to a colleague that Connor's equipment was built like the fruit of a Cucumber tree.
Danny had never seen that fruit or Connor's endowment but he'd found the reference a little odd and had later eyed Connor in his tight trousers so blatantly that the young man had blushed.
'Was it similar to a real cucumber or was it more like a pickled cucumber?' he'd asked himself until the signal from the Anomaly Detector had rung out.
On the spur of the moment, Danny grasped a cucumber and put it into his basket. 'That was enough healthy food for one day', he thought and marched in direction of the checkout counter. On his way he passed the section of canned goods and picked up a glass of gherkins as well.
At home, he munched a handful crisps and put the frozen dinner into the microwave. Then he opened the glass of gherkins and laid the cucumber next to it.
The gherkins were mostly crooked and a bit small. Surely Connor and the Cucumber tree had larger pieces than that. The gherkins looked more like a hooked nose.
Danny gently touched his own nose. He had always hated the silly saying that a man with a big nose had to have a big penis.
He had seen more than enough cocks, just out of scientific curiosity, of course, to know it wasn't true in every case. Men with normal noses had been hung like a horse and men with big noses had proved to be really poorly endowed.
In strong contrast to the gherkins, the cucumber was thick and mostly unbowed with just a slight curve at a end. It was really not unlike a male genital.
But there was no way Connor's cock could be as long. You couldn't hide thirty five centimetres in trousers like his. Even if that was only the erect length he would have seen some outline of a larger than average dick.
Danny Quinn took the cucumber in his hand and was impressed by how well it fitted in his fist. Just like his own cock. He stroked the cucumber up and down several times and slowly let his thumb circle around the tip of the vegetable.
The ping of his microwave yanked him out of his reverie. What the hell was he doing here? He hadn't got obsessed with a cucumber, had he?
Annoyed with himself, he fished a gherkin out of the glass and shoved it into his mouth. While he chomped noisily, he took a kitchen knife out of the kitchen drawer and put the cucumber on a chopping board.
Why did he care what Connor looked like naked anyway and why did Becker knew all about it?
He would make a cucumber salad and that would be the end of this weird train of thought.
But Danny couldn't help cringing every time his knife cut a slice from the vegetable.
Tomorrow he would follow Connor into the loo to get a look at the young man's cucumber himself. Just to make sure he was up to date.
And then he would steer clear of cucumbers for the rest of his life.