Primeval Fanfic: Team Building In Camp Happy

[talliw]

Title:  Team Building In Camp Happy
Author: TalliW
Characters: Lester, Cutter, Jenny, Abby, Connor, Becker, Sarah
Rating: T
Disclaimer: Primeval is the property of Impossible Pictures. I write just for fun.
Acknowledgments: Thanks to Fredbassett for beta-reading. I couldn't have done it without you.

AN: For Knitekat as a belated birthday present, prompt: team building. As always, I took it literally.:)
BTW all the exercises mentioned are used in team building activities and I've had to endure some of them myself.


James Lester walked up and down the room of the log cabin.

This is all Cutter's and Jenny's fault,' he thought angrily. Of course Abby and Connor Temple were to blame just so much, and he was sure if he thought a little while longer about the incident, he would find some reason why Becker and Sarah Page were responsible as well.

Why hadn't they managed to stop their teasing and bickering for just a moment? At least for the length of the Home Secretary's visit to the ARC? Then they wouldn't be in this predicament.

But of course they all had ignored his appeal for calm, until he had finally lost his patience and had yelled at his co-workers, just at the moment the Home Secretary was walking into the office.

And now the whole team were hanging around together in a cabin at the edge of the New Forest in Hampshire, to alleviate some stress and bond with each other.
A team-building programme in "Camp Happy". Already the term was giving him headaches.

The prospect of spending an entire week with Cutter and Temple had scared him so much he had even volunteered to go out with his superior's tedious niece to escape the seminar. Unfortunately the woman hadn't been interested anymore and was now chasing after a Captain Wilder.

So he had bowed to the inevitable, purchased a large pack of painkillers and set out for "Camp Happy".

He had ended up with Connor Temple in his car, chattering happily with Jenny the whole time from the back seat and annoying him before the seminar even had started. For the return journey he would make sure Connor was sitting in Cutter's van.

The first day had been hell and, on the second, it got even worse.

Chester Harold Winifield, the camp leader and seminar trainer was just as annoying as his name. His exaggeratedly cheerful disposition grated on his nerves. And that was just the smallest problem James Lester had with the seminar.

Of course Temple was in his element with all the nonsense they had to do. Lester felt he was on a children's birthday party with all the games they were made to play to get more relaxed in each other's presence. At least Cutter and Jenny were just as reluctant to do the silly tasks as he was.

Lester was thankful to have found some allies in them, despite his current desire to strangle Cutter for keeping him awake with his snoring most of the night.
Why only couldn't he get a single room rather than having to share a cabin with Becker, Temple and Cutter? He really had no desire to learn about Connor's glove fetish or that Becker used skin cream and slept with a hairnet.

He glared in disgust over at Becker who appeared to be busy crawling around on all fours and meowing at Sarah to make her laugh.
The last time Lester had played that game he had been eight years old. A Special Forces captain should have more dignity than that.

Connor had rolled on his back with laughter and Abby was holding her sides. Finally, Sarah succumbed as well and burst out laughing.

Lester shook his head in irritation as he felt the corner of his mouth twitching at the sight of Becker waggling his head and blinking with his eyes whilst he yowled like a lovesick bull elk.

A short look around showed him Cutter and Jenny found the view amusing too. It was reassuring to know that he wasn't the only one slowly losing his mind.

It had only taken five hours of group counseling and twenty-three minutes of lectures about the importance of team work to persuade Becker and Abby to play along with the trainer's crazy ideas.

Connor had been in right from the start and Sarah had decided to connect with her inner child and was taking everything with humour.

It was only a question of time until Jenny and Cutter surrendered too. So it was up to him to keep up the last bastion of sanity.

James Lester glanced over at his colleagues. He would never admit it but the "magazine making game" the previous day, to help them get to know one another better, hadn't been so bad. Interviewing each other had proved to be very revealing.

He hadn't known Jenny had broken off her engagement and that Cutter had finally found the balls to get a divorce from Helen.

Lester had nearly lost his composure when Cutter had told them the stated grounds for the divorce he had given the petition. "Feigning death for over eight years and neglecting her conjugal duties during that time, whilst hanging around with big animals."

Sarah was still joking about it hours later. No wonder Cutter had clammed up instantly and sulked for the rest of the day.

Becker's odd first name hadn't been a surprise. He had already seen it in Becker's personnel file. And it seemed Connor knew about that as well, just as he knew about Lester's divorce two years ago and about Abby's brother currently residing in a young offenders institution.

But Sarah's bug phobia had been new to them all and Lester smirked inwardly at the thought that their close proximity to a forest might give Miss Page ample opportunity to address her fears.

Finally the trainer gave up trying to convince Cutter and Jenny that playing pussy could be fun and declared the game finished. This time he hadn't even bothered to ask Lester to participate.

Lester crossed his arms demonstratively over his chest as Winifield ordered them to do the group hug which started and ended every team-building exercise. He walked out of the room before the trainer announced the end of the morning session.

Cutter and Jenny followed him hurriedly, the disgust at having  been included in the hug by an enthusiastic Connor, and Chester Harold, clearly visible on their faces.

Lester debated hiding in the woods until the afternoon session was over, but the coach had made clear that, at the very least, his attendance was required to get the certificate for passing the seminar and without it Lester wouldn't get his position in the ARC back. And he had grown rather fond of the Anomaly project.
So he walked reluctantly into the seminar building and joined Jenny in the corner of the room.

James Lester took a deep breath as he spied the futuristic monument Connor and Abby had just built with some office furniture. If he were in Abby's place he wouldn't trust the shaky construction and climb up the chairs to put the last item, a pencil sharpener, on top of the tower.

Becker and Sarah were busy folding origami animals and creating their own zoo. Lester rolled his eyes as they debated animatedly if the flamingo really had to stand on one leg.

Jenny was scribbling stickmen on a sheet of paper instead to fulfill her task, and Cutter was just taking a nap in front of the window. His snoring was even more annoying than the constant twittering from the birds outside.

Lester considered waking Cutter up, but if he did, the man would eventually start a debate with Connor and Sarah about some weird scientific theory again and he had no interest in setting himself up for another headache. Even Cutter's snoring was preferable to Temple's science fiction blabbing and Sarah's enthusiasm for unicorns and dragons.

After reading the assignment, Lester sat down and watched Cutter sleep. He felt disinclined to start the task as well.

'Reach a compromise about ten things you and your two colleagues deem necessary to take on an adventure tour!' What complete nonsense.

Connor told him, grinning, that Jenny and the professor had already given up after the first five minutes, right after Cutter had insisted on a laptop with Connor's dinosaur data base and the Anomaly detector, whilst Jenny couldn't decide between tropical helmets and straw hats for the trip.

Lester closed his eyes in annoyance. What did he have to do to get some peace from the boy?

Half an hour later, Chester Harold Winifield woke Cutter up from his slumber and looked disappointed at the stickmen on the otherwise clean sheet of Group Three but let it slide without any comment.

The lecture about survival techniques in the wilderness afterwards was a little more interesting. Even Lester felt inclined to listen this time.

Everything was well for a short while and the trainer was happy.

Then the topic of eating mushrooms, berries and bugs came up, and Sarah went pale. Lester watched in fascination how her face took on a lovely shade of green as Winifield prattled about nice-tasting insects. Finally she ran out of the room as he started to wax lyrical about nutritious grubs. She wasn't seen again before dinner time when she preferred to stick only to a cup of tea.

Lester smiled with satisfaction. He had great hopes for the trip in the woods the next day.
If the majority of the team refused to cooperate Chester Harold Winifield couldn't do much apart from give in eventually.

But the trip started very disappointing. Jenny had traded her high heels and designer suit for walking boots and outdoor clothes. Abby and Connor took Sarah protectively in the middle and Cutter grinned from ear to ear as he marched off at the head of the group.
Only Becker looked a little rumpled because his night moisturizer and his beloved hairnet had mysteriously vanished from his wash bag the night before.

James Lester trudged bad-temperedly after his team. He had donned a suit and flat leather shoes on principle and realized quickly that had been a rather bad choice.

Hours later he sat down on a tree stump and refused to go on. His feet were swollen and his suit was only reusable as a cleaning rag.

"Just a few more metres and we'll be there," the trainer called cheerfully in his direction. Lester ignored him and stayed put on his stump. He wouldn't take another step.

He should have known Chester Harold Winifield was prepared for such situations.

"One of your team members needs help. We are only minutes away from the tent camp where he can rest. I hope you all remember what I told you earlier? Mr. Temple, Captain Becker, please support your colleague," Winifield said.

Before Lester could utter some words of protest his arms and legs were grasped by two grinning fools and he was lifted up horizontally. It was embarrassing to be transported through the wood in this manner and he glared angrily at a smirking Cutter who supported his behind and huffed at Jenny who soothingly patted his leg.
Fortunately it really was only a very short distance until a clearing with five tents came into view.

Becker and Connor laid him down in the dirt and James Lester sprang up on his own feet. Only his longstanding experience of dealing with idiotic co-workers and the memory of what had happened the last time he lost control prevented him from giving vent to his anger. Even so, Connor Temple's cheerful smile faltered for a moment at Lester's menacing look and he took a step backwards.

Perhaps he'd be lucky and the boy would stay away from him for the rest of the day now, Lester thought hopefully.

"It's time to get some wood for the camp fire. Mr. Lester, I'm sure you would prefer to sit down and rest your feet for a while. Perhaps you can prepare the salad in the meantime? Everything you need is in my back-pack."

The guy really didn't know when it was better to shut up. But attacking the seminar leader was probably not the best behaviour to get that damned certificate.

Two more painkillers and a sliced thumb later, the salad was ready, and James Lester's experience was enriched by the knowledge that a bowie knife wasn't the ideal tool for cutting tomatoes.

When the other's returned, they looked rather worn out too. Connor Temple had made the acquaintance of a lime tree and was sporting a purple bruise on his cheek. Becker had stumbled over a broken branch and sprained his ankle, and Sarah Page had been scared stiff by a stag beetle.

At least they had now enough fire wood for a whole month.

A loud cursing indicated that Cutter hadn't come off unscathed either. A pine branch had hit him in the face and he had torn his jacket on a hawthorn bush.

Lester looked over to Abby and Jenny, who were patching the wounded up, and furrowed his brows.

With this injury rate, he wouldn't have a fully operational team he could work with at the end of the trip and that made the whole seminar rather pointless.

"What happens if someone gets seriously hurt, in the middle of this wilderness?" he asked the trainer, with an dangerous tone in his voice.

"Please, calm down, Mr. Lester. There is no cause for concern. We're only thee hundred and sixty eight metres away from "Camp Happy," Winifield declared blithely.

This time it wasn't only Lester who gave the trainer a dirty look.

The effusive praise Lester got from the ladies for his vegetable salad almost made up for his abused thumb, and for the first time since the excursion in the woods had started, he enjoyed the fresh forest air and the twitter of the birds.

The team sat comfortably around the fire and stared, relaxed, into the flames until Winifield announced a new exercise.

"Everyone talk about a moment you have shared with your co-workers, something special you still remember vividly."

Lester leaned back and crossed his arms before his chest. His stony expression made it clear that he wasn't willing to contribute to this silly task.

First no one said anything, then Connor started hesitantly.
"The first time I saw a..." He glanced at Winifield, "...when I saw that big anapsida. That was a really great moment."

Abby nodded in agreement before she followed Connor's example.
"When Rex came back to me... You all believed we had lost him and than he turned and landed right in my arms. The expression on your faces was priceless."

Cutter chuckled. "And Rex did leave such a nice present on Lester's shoulder."

"Thanks for reminding me, Cutter," Lester snarled. "That suit was completely ruined. My cleaner tried everything to get the stain out but to no avail."

"That's professional risk. We've all have sacrificed some clothes in this line of work. Just ask Jenny. On her first case we got completely drenched and she looked like a drowned rat." Cutter winked at Jenny.

"I see you are your usual tactful self, Cutter," Lester scoffed and threw a sympathetic look at a fuming Jenny.

After that, the others remained silent and Winifield rolled his eyes in annoyance. These people really were a difficult lot. He had to get them talking, one way or another, so they could finally start working through their differences.

"It doesn't have to be a positive experience. Perhaps there is something you still remember because it infuriated you," he said to them.

Suddenly, Becker snarled with blazing eyes, "They ordered me to bow. My first mission and I have to pile up boxes and bow to a..."

Jenny coughed decently before Becker could reveal something better left unsaid.

"My God, Becker, get over it," Cutter answered sharply. "We were all bowing to... Her Majesty."

"And it worked after all," Sarah added.

"But I've never bowed to anyone before. I must have looked very ridiculous." Becker was openly pouting now and Sarah found it endearing enough to offer him some sort of consolation.

"I think you really looked very fetching in that position," she told him, smirking.

Lester thought he had seen Becker in far more ridiculous situations in the last few days and tried to ban the image of Becker with a hairnet and a face mask from his mind. Cutter's raised brow indicated his thoughts had gone in the same direction and Connor snickered openly.

"But isn't a bow the appropriate behaviour in presence of Her Majesty?" Winifield asked in confusion but no one paid any attention to him.

"At least you didn't get threatened with a gun in a church by a misguided moron." Jenny glanced in Cutter's direction.

"I told you that was an error. Leek beat Connor at his own game and when you showed up in the church we thought you were the traitor."

"Hey, why it is always me who gets the blame," Connor objected and Abby supported him.

"Connor is right, Cutter. You're just so responsible."

"You could have got us killed," Jenny huffed and got up.

Cutter stood up then as well. "You could have told me straight away it was Leek who had sent you there."

"You held a gun to my head."

"And your soldiers had their rifles aimed at me."

Lester watched the cross-talk between Jenny and Cutter with amusement. Jenny's heaving bosom really was a nice view and Cutter looked at his best when his feathers were ruffled. "Are you finished now? I thought you had already resolved that issue," he said drily.

"I thought that too. I really don't understand why Jenny is still complaining about that small misunderstanding. I'm sorry. OK?" Cutter ran his fingers through his hair in frustration and messed it up completely.

Jenny nodded her head. "Apology accepted, Cutter. That was all I wanted. Was it really so hard to say you're sorry?"

Cutter grimaced as he sat down. Whilst Jenny did the same, he looked over to Connor and said sheepishly. "Sorry that I laid the blame on you, Connor. You do an amazing job. Without you we would be lost."

A smile spread over Connor's face and Cutter breathed out in relief.

The trainer looked very curious by now but he didn't dare to ask. He was glad the team had started talking. They seemed to be a little more relaxed now, after they had cleared some air.

Lester noticed for the first time that Connor and Abby were sitting pretty close. Perhaps the team building seminar wasn't such a bad idea after all. If Connor was busy with Abby he couldn't pester him any more. And Cutter seemed to be snapping out of the dark mood he had fallen into recently and turning back into his old irritating self. He had missed that.

As the evening arrived they were all engrossed in telling anecdotes or witty snippets from their life. Even Lester had volunteered some tales from his time at the Home Office.

Of course every time something from the anomaly project came up they had to use paraphrases in Winifield's presence.

Sarah had used the description "You know what" first, and Connor and Abby had happily picked up on it.

"Do you remember the day when the AD malfunctioned and Cutter had to hide in the hen-house from that supposedly harmless you know what? The rooster wasn't happy about his intrusion and chased him around," Abby remembered fondly.

"In the end I actually considered the rooster more dangerous than our friend outside," Cutter grinned. "But the scariest thing about that mission was the terribly long report I had to write for Lester when I got back to the ARC."

"...which was just seven sentences long and completely inadequate," Lester interjected.

Chester Harold Winifiled tried to follow the conversation but got slowly tired with all the "You know what" and acronyms.

He finally gave in to his curiosity and asked, "What's the ARC?"

"That's classified," Lester answered icily.

"And this..."

"That too."

"But..." Winifield closed his mouth. The open hostility he could suddenly feel from the people around the camp fire made him uncomfortable. Finally, the team had bonded, unfortunately against him.

The trainer eyed the weird mix of people and stood quietly up. It was always the same. They weren't much different from the other groups he usually had there. They all thought everything revolved around them and it would change the world if their important secrets got into the wrong hands.

The best solution was always to leave them alone so they could open up to each other without the fear that their precious knowledge might be revealed to the public.

"I will spend the night in my cabin. I wish you all a good night," he announced.

They didn't even notice that Chester Harold Winifield didn't go straight away but opened the tents and prepared these for the night before he left. Thinking him gone, they were already engrossed in their stories again.

The moon was illuminating the small clearing when Lester looked down at his wrist watch and realised it was almost midnight. The forest had settled down for the night long since, only interrupted by the hoot of an owl and the occasional laughter of the seven people around the camp fire.

"We should go off to sleep, in case Winifield has planned another trip through the woods for tomorrow," Lester suggested but was met with some resistance.

"There is no way I'm spending the night in a tent. The beetles are just waiting until I've fallen asleep," Sarah declared.

Connor didn't want to break up the cosy get-together. It was so seldom they had a little fun together. "I'm not tired yet," he said and tried to suppress a yawn.

Cutter was transfixed by Jenny's cleavage and apparently hadn't even heard Lester's words.

"I feel so dirty. I could do with a bath," Jenny mumbled under her breath and stretched herself out in front of the dying fire, giving Cutter an even better view.

Cutter gulped audibly and Lester smirked. Jenny really knew how to play with her feminine charms. And Cutter badly needed to get laid.

"I think there is a small lake on the other side of the camp," Abby said. "Would anyone fancy a night swim?"

"I don't have a swim suit," Jenny pointed out and smiled sweetly in Lester's direction.

Lester frowned, confused. If he didn't know it better he would think she was flirting with him. But that was just wishful thinking. She wasn't interested in him. None of them was.

"Who cares?" Sarah answered. "It's more fun without clothes anyway. Let's go!"

Nick Cutter was smiling devilishly when he walked over to Lester. "Ready for an adventure, James?" he whispered in Lester's ear, giving him goosebumps as Cutter's lips grazed his skin for a moment.

Lester didn't know what Cutter was aiming for but he wouldn't let him make fun of him.
"Good night," he said and stalked away to the tent Winifield had assigned to him and Connor earlier.

"Spoilsport. A bath would do you some good too," Cutter called, disappointed, and hurried after the others, who were already on their way to the lake.

When Lester peeled out of his torn, crinkled clothes he had to admit that Cutter had been right. He was sweaty and needed a clean-up.

'Only three more days," he thought sighing, as he slipped back into his clothes and started following the tracks his team members had left, fortunately clearly visible under the light of the full moon.

Soon he found the lake and immediately added another traumatic event to his wealth of experience. Connor, Becker, Sarah and Abby were playing tag, stark naked and still wet from the swim, on the meadow in front of the lake. Cutter and Jenny were nowhere to see. But after Lester spied their clothes on the ground he assumed they were still in the water.

As quietly as possible, he walked down to a spot beside the small wooded lake where some trees and bushes gave him some protection from the looks of the others and started to disrobe.

After a quick dip in the water he felt better. He decided not to put his trousers and shirt back on. If the others were running around naked he didn't have to worry about his modesty and could go back to the tent only clad in his underwear.

Lester pulled his boxer shorts back on as his skin suddenly started to prickle as though someone was watching him. In the water, just 10 metres away from him, stood Jenny and Cutter, in a tight embrace, observing him. They really had moved on fast forward.
With a small amount of envy he turned away, grasped the rest of his clothes and went back to the tent camp.

Lester was just in the progress of falling asleep on top of his sleeping bag as the zipper of the tent was opened and someone crawled in.

"You should have stayed a little longer. We could have had some fun in the water," Cutter whispered, his accent thick from arousal, as he pressed his naked body against Lester.

"But you and Jenny..." Lester replied drowsy.

"We have realised there is something we both want desperately," Cutter declared, as Jenny crawled into the tent and laid down beside Lester on the other side.

"And what's this?" Lester asked, confused.

"You," they said in unison and chuckled.

"What are you doing?" Lester croaked hoarsely as Jenny and Cutter started to caress him.

"Practicing a little team building," Cutter whispered and licked at Lester's nipple.

"And trying out the most effective method of stress reduction," Jenny added, as she freed Lester from his boxer shorts.

"But Connor could come in every minute."

"No, he won't. He's busy with Becker in one of the other tents. Just like Sarah is with Abby."

"Connor with Becker, and Abby with Sarah?"

"It could also have been Connor and Abby and Becker with Sarah or vice versa. In the darkness I couldn't exactly tell who was doing what with whom," Cutter said and mouthed a kiss onto Lester's sternum.

"Cutter, I don't think that's such a good idea."

"Why not? You are divorced, me too, and Jenny is free of ties as well. We're only going to have a little fun together. And later we can see where it is going with us."

"In a threesome?"

"I'm sure we will work something out," Jenny answered and nipped softly at Lester's neck whilst Cutter worked his way down Lester's body.

Any objection Lester had had previously flew out of his mind the moment Nick Cutter took him into his mouth...

The next morning, seven relaxed and smiling seminar participants were waiting at the tent camp for trainer Winifield.

"Oh, I see you have slept well. I was a little worried. Yesterday was full moon and sometimes people react a little weirdly if they are amidst nature. I've even had people here who got suddenly randy and had an orgy," Chester Winifield smirked at a severe-looking Lester.
"But of course that would never happen with you. I'm glad I've some mature, self-controlled people here for a change. You wouldn't believe what sort of people I usually get in the seminars. I can tell you the managers are the worst."

Winifield plastered a cheerful smile on his face and announced enthusiastically, "All right, then let's start the lesson with a nice group hug."

This time all team members participated, even more intimately than he had excepted.

"Miss Maitland, please take your tongue out of Mr. Temple's ear," he ordered,  flabbergasted.
"Mr. Becker you shouldn't be touching Mr. Temples arse. That can be interpreted as sexual harassment. Miss Page, please refrain yourself from exposing..."

The trainer took deep gulps of air at the picture in front of him before he collected himself enough to talk again.

"Miss Lewis, where are Mr. Lester and Mr. Cutter going? The seminar isn't finished yet," he asked in a high-pitched voice.

Jenny blushed faintly. "Er, they want to practice more team-building in private," she explained, then hurried after her two men into the woods.

Chester Harold Winifield sat down in the comfortable chair in his small office and rubbed his temples. With a sigh he started to fill out the papers and added a personal note for the Home Office:

'Team-bonding and stress-level reduction successful. It is the coach's personal point of view that another two days at "Camp Happy" aren't required.'

After he had sighed and stamped the document, he leaned back and closed his eyes. He had to correct his opinion. This people the Home Office had sent him were even worse than the managers.

After four days with that crazy lot he needed some stress relief for himself.

Under the watchful eyes of a squirrel, looking through the windows from outside, Chester Harold Winifield opened his trousers and lost himself in the rhythm of his hand whilst the ARC team concentrated on some more team-building for the rest of the day.