Shades of Grey- Chapter 1
Title: Shades of Grey Chapter 1
Author: TalliW
Characters: Stephen Hart, Tom Ryan, Nick Cutter, James Lester, Abby Maitland, Connor Temple, Jenny Lewis, Oliver Leek, Lyle, Finn, Helen Cutter.
Rating: K+, T in later chapters
Disclaimer: Primeval is the property of Impossible Pictures. I write just for fun.
Lyle and Finn belong to Fredbassett.
Acknowledgments: Thanks to the wonderful Fredbassett for beta duty.
Summary: Ryan has survived but he isn't the man he was. Can Stephen and Cutter manage to work together to help him? Perhaps Ryan has changed in more ways than it appears on first sight.
Chapter 1
Cutter sat alone in the waiting area of the Gloucestershire Royal Hospital. He had sent the others home but had refused to leave himself. Stephen had disappeared with Lester and Jenny, God only knew where, shortly after they had reached the hospital. And Connor and Abby had finally given up trying to convince him to drive home with them.
Ryan's screaming had quietened long since and now only the soft noises of the life support systems filled the corridors.
Now and then, one of the nurses bustled through the corridors but they were too busy to give him more than a random glance. Cutter knew the doctors were still working on Ryan and pestering the nurses for information wouldn't do him any good. He was lucky the chief nurse hadn't thrown him out after he'd attempted to barge in and demand answers hours ago.
He wished there was some reading material around or someone to talk to. Waiting patiently had never been his strongest suit. But there was nothing to distract him from his fears and worries.
"Here, drink that."
Cutter was startled as a cup of coffee was pushed in front of his face and he looked up at the man standing next to him.
Stephen had changed clothes but he didn't seem to have rested. Cutter could see the exhaustion in the younger man's eyes.
For the first time in days he asked himself how Stephen had fared. Since Helen's revelation he had barely spoken a word with him, instead he had avoided him as much as possible.
Cutter knew he had unconsciously blamed Stephen for Ryan's death and Claudia's disappearance as if Stephen's affair with Helen had been the cause of everything. Now he realised how stupid his reaction had been.
Stephen certainly wasn't responsible for the timeline shift or the attack of the future predator. He had also shown his loyalty when he had refused Helen's offer. But there was still the fact that Stephen had lied to him all those years. And that he couldn't forget so easily.
Carefully, Cutter took the profferred beverage and set it to his lips. The coffee was hot and bitter but he emptied the cup anyway. He needed the caffeine to stay awake.
"Thanks."
"My pleasure. Have you got any news yet?"
Cutter shook his head tiredly. "They are still patching him up. We can do nothing but wait."
"Okay. I hope you don't mind if I keep you company."
For a moment Nick Cutter said nothing. He only wrung his fingers and stared down at the floor.
His voice was very quiet when he finally spoke. "I'm glad you’re here, Stephen. The waiting is killing me."
If Stephen cringed mentally at the bad choice of words he didn't show it. "That's what friends are for," he only answered.
Cutter didn't reply to this open statement. He would deal with that issue later.
As Stephen took place beside him, Cutter could feel Stephen watching him out of the corner of his eye and hoped desperately that Stephen wouldn't try to start that topic now. But his hope was in vain.
"Cutter, about Helen... I..."
"Don't, Stephen."
"But..."
"I don't want to talk about it. Not now."
Stephen nodded sadly but let the topic slide.
Both were relieved when the awkward moment was broken as the door to the treatment room opened and two doctors and several nurses stepped out. Cutter sprang up instantly and bombarded the doctors with questions.
Stephen heard the words of the medics as through a thick mist.
"Deep lacerations, cerebral concussion, blood loss, dehydration..."
Nothing of it sounded good and Stephen understood that Ryan wasn't out of the woods yet.
Whilst Cutter was arguing with the doctors Stephen tried to get a glimpse into the room before the door closed behind a nurse. So he only picked up parts of the conservation.
"No, I can't allow..."
"... have to ... good friend ... need to see..."
"Well, ... for a short moment. .... but only one visitor."
Stephen didn't complain when Cutter took it for granted he would be the one visiting Ryan. That’s how things usually went. Cutter always took charge. Still it hurt a little. He was Ryan's friend too and had probably spent more time with the man than Cutter. And he was sure good friends wasn't exactly the term he would have used for the relationship Cutter and Ryan had had.
Cutter was deathly pale when he returned from Ryan's room. Wordlessly he sank down on the seat and buried his face in his hands.
When he finally spoke it was in a low voice, filled with anguish. His account of Ryan's condition was mixed with words of self-accusation.
That was nothing new for Stephen, either. Cutter always was quick to shoulder the responsibility. But this time Stephen felt anger rise up in him as Cutter started to blame himself for trusting Helen in the first place. It disgusted him that Cutter was making everything about himself again. He seemed to have forgotten that the decision to follow Helen's lead had been taken by the whole team, including Lester.
Determinedly, Stephen grasped Cutter's arm and pulled him upwards.
Cutter didn't fight as Stephen led him to the exit and then drove him to the Holiday Inn in Gloucester where Stephen had booked a hotel room for the night earlier. If anything, Cutter seemed to be glad that he had been forced to leave the depressing atmosphere of the hospital.
In the hotel room, Cutter instantly went for the mini-bar.
In the past Stephen would have stayed and lent an ear to Cutter's guilt trip but at the moment he wasn't in the mood to offer him comfort. He just couldn't get rid of the spiteful thought that Cutter deserved to suffer a little for leaving Ryan behind.
Captain Ryan had apparently been alive when Cutter had left him. Cutter ought to have checked more thoroughly for vital signs. Then the man wouldn't be lying in hospital so badly traumatised.
Stephen was back in the hospital within an hour. Armed with another coffee from the vending machine in the foyer and a thick book about Evolutionary Zoology he'd found in Cutter's truck, he arranged himself for a long night of waiting