A "love" letter.
Dear Elizibeth Mistress Lady Kika, the Pirate Queen,
Sorry to hear Congrats, Mistress on your new bundle of joy! I realize that fer you, raising this little scallywag is goin' to prove a mighty task. However, I feel that with me by your side as its rightful father papa that this babe is in good 'ands. I can be the 'erfect father, I swear! I've already proven my list fer you over and over again, and I will continue to do it until the day I die. I lurve you, and I will lurve that kid as my own and I will protect it from the likes of Edgar Brandeau Dario Batman of anyone who stands in my way.
Please just agree to this so we don't end up on an episode of Maury.
Enclosed is a website pamphlet on pregnancy.
I love you, Mistress Lady Kika! Lets raise little Jimmy together!
Your faithful servant All my love, snuggles and mittens,
Peck
((OOC: ....he is so dead.))