On puzzle pieces and moving

[tangboy]

I sometimes worry that, like a puzzle piece, that I've spent so much time being jammed into the wrong areas, that when I finally find where I belong, I won't fit right, due to the frayed edges from the other attempts

Comments

[aurora_z]

If you're anything like me, and I think we're similar in a lot of ways, you don't actually think of it as a "nice place." It's a comfortable place, for sure. You may be unhappy, but it's an unhappiness that you're familiar with. Nothing ever changes, which can be a curse as well as a blessing.

Trust me. That place will still be there if you ever want to visit. It won't feel quite the same, maybe it'll even feel a little smaller. But it'll be there to remind you of why you left in the first place.

Good luck, friend. I'll keep an eye out for Asian Harrison until you can get here.

[aurora_z]

Also, regarding your puzzle piece analogy.

The thing about finding where you belong is that it will always be 100% dependent on the state of your frayed edges. I don't think I would have been happy in Chicago even 3 or 4 years ago. But some stupid shit went down in my life that frayed the fuck out of all of me. It made living in Arizona unliveable, not because of the events themselves, but because they made me realize that I needed to force a change if I was going to break out of my self-destruct cycle. Those other attempts have changed you, but those changes are neither good nor bad. They just are. You are you and where you fit in now is not the same place you would have fit in a year ago or five years ago.

Does any of this make sense? I feel like I have a really tight grasp on what I'm trying to say, but no real concept of how to verbalize it.