004. Chocolate
Title: Chocolate
Pairing: Shindong/Yesung
Ratings: G
Summary: Shindong gets additional pressure from all his members, but he doesn't know that he himself, is inflicting the same amount of pressure on the others.
Pressure, stress, anxiety, all mixed into one. It could be breathtaking to a certain point of craziness, or choking and tight all of a sudden.
[No one wanted this to happen. Or perhaps, everyone wanted it to happen, just that I wasn't noticing it myself] Shindong mused to himself. Staring at the chocolate bar in his hands, the chocolate-stained front of his shirt, his gaze slowly shifted to the view outside, or rather, right below him. Shindong stared blindly out of the window, where he was currently sitting on the windowstill. He grabbed and tightened his grip on the chocolate bar, glaring at the suddenly offending chocolate bar in his hands. But somehow, it seemed like a type of punishment, a type of fulfillment at the same time, a type of desire and need mixed into one, or perhaps a type of disgust and dislike all into one.
[I can't make up my mind now. I never ever wanted this to happen.]
----Past-----
Eeteuk eyed the bag of potato chips in Shindong's hands, subtly raising his eyebrows as he glanced back and forth from the pack to Shindong's face. Eeteuk quickly turned his face away, not wanting to pressure one of his members. Although he had a responsibility to keep his members fit and well, he also had a similar obligation to take care of them and provide them with the best welfare that they desire. It was a clash, a conflict, something that couldn't be reconciled together. But he had this responsibility, he had to do it, even though he saw the glint, or flash of slight anger and pain in Shindong's eyes.
[He thought I didn't see that, did he?] Shindong thought to himself silently, understanding the position and plight of Eeteuk-shi, but not really appreciating it.
-----------
"And Shindong has promised that he will lose 20kg for his overwhelming and committed fans!" Eeteuk proudly exclaimed on a show, drawing surprised glances from everyone around him, including Shindong himself.
[When did I ever say that in the first place? No pressure? He is doing the exact opposite. Sometimes, I wonder if fans are the best, because the pressure they give can be suffocating and I can't breathe at times.] He averted his gaze to the ground, directing all his emotions towards the ground. Closing his eyes, he silently gripped his fist, channelling his anger through his fingers, right back into his hand, a vicious cycle. He could almost feel the pain of his fingernails cutting right into palm, but he couldn't care less now, this kind of pressure, suffocating, not leaving any place for him to rest or take a break, he couldn't take it anymore, and it occupied the whole of his mind.
Yesung glanced over, worried. He had seen that subtly closed fist that was trembling now, placed right beside Shindong's frame. [He is hiding it, his anger, his worries, his anxieties, his unwillingness, and I really don't know how to help him.]
------------
Shindong's chopsticks hovered uncertainly above the plate that was placed right in front of him, trying his best to ignore those stares aimed at the hand that was above the plate of pork. He gulped nervously, while the person sitting beside him, Ryeowook, glanced helpfully over and grabbed pieces of vegetables into Shindong's bowl. Shindong sighed inwardly, lowering his chopsticks back to his bowl of rice. He could see that his members had heaved a collective sigh of relief, and he wondered if even eating was wrong in the first place. Yesung carefully placed a hand on Shindong's lap, trying to reassure him and calm him down. Shindong didn't seem to notice this gesture, too absorbed in his own world, pondering over the ways of this world..
Ryeowook sighed inwardly to himself, hating the gesture he had just done. He hated it, but he knew he had to do it. Many fans were debating about his weight, wondering if Shindong had the willpower to control his diet and keep to 'his' promise. Members have been trying to keep it from him, all the negative news, all that pain that they know would potentially cripple one emotionally, so hard and straight into the heart, that they rather bear the pain themselves and see that anger directed at them, instead of that sadness that Shindong would face if he knew the truth, the real truth.
----Present----
Shindong glared at the pile of chocolates that were beside him, crushing one more bar of chocolate under his grasp. The chocolate quickly moulded under his hand, folding into the exact configuration of his fist. He took in a deep breath, and exhaled sharply, trying to relieve and exhale all his anger in one go. He stuffed one whole fistful of chocolate into his mouth, then spitting it right out into a basin beside him, disgusted. It was as if the taste of the chocolate had changed, or if possible, turned mouldy, weird, staining his mouth with this horrible taste that could not be easily forgotten. He stubbornly turned to the tub of strawberry ice cream beside him, digging in, forcing a wry smile onto his face as he dug the spoon deep into that pile.
----------
"Hey Yesung! Have you seen Shindong around? I need to discuss parts of the rap for our new album with him....and I can't find him around." Eunhyuk asked, all his breath rushing out in one gasp. "I'm worried, we all saw that pain that Shindong is now experiencing, and I wonder what he will do now..." Eunhyuk turned away cautiously, not wanting to show his true emotions though the windows of his soul, those eyes that belies his belief that he should still help Shindong to lose weight. It seemed too much to expect, and it took a toil even out of one of Shindong's best friend in Super Junior. It was too much, too much to desire for.
Yesung gently patted Eunhyuk on the shoulder, turning his head slightly away from the guy that was slightly slumped onto the wall in front of him, holding onto the wall for support. The former guy sighed, knowing the moods and temperamental swings Shindong was now prone to, due to the 'promise' that he had to fulfil. "Don't worry. I will find him." Yesung promised, a hint of determination in his eyes, before stalking off right in the opposite direction.
----At Kiss the Radio----
Eeteuk doodled aimlessly on the paper in front of him, knowing that Eunhyuk wasn't in the best of moods to host Kiss the Radio today. They were fortunate that they had no guests today, and just had to follow the script. He glanced down at the script, finally noting what he had drawn on the paper.
"Mianhe, Shindong"
Eeteuk hurriedly took the eraser and scrubbed it out, before anyone else could see it. Eunhyuk was staring down forlornly at the computer in front of him, reading through certain comments from members of the public, giving each of them a cursory glance. Eeteuk sighed, and wondered if he was doing the right thing after all. If listening to manager-hyung was correct after all. If placing pressure on Shindong to lose weight to please their fans was correct after all.
"Hyung." Eunhyuk stated simply, waving Eeteuk over to take a look at his phone in front of him. He glanced at Eunhyuk, who was expressionless, and still playing with the mouse, hand jerking back and forth. Eeteuk picked up the call.
"Yesung? I'm doing a live broadcast now. What's the....."
"Hyung! Come to the hospital now!" Yesung shouted abruptly into the phone, before the line went dead.
Eeteuk stared at the phone in horror, and Eunhyuk glanced at the terrified face of the leader, reading it and sensing that bad news was imminent.
----At the dorm, past----
The door behind Shindong opened abruptly, releasing a harsh creak as it moved against its wishes. Shindong ignored the intruder and continued to feed on the strawberry ice cream that was quickly dwindling in portion.
Yesung walked over and grabbed the spoon out of his hands, earning a glare from Shindong.
"What! Even you want to try to curb me from enjoying what I like to eat? Why can't you guys just leave me alone sometimes?" Shindong shouted, his eyes focused on Yesung's calm ones, feeling slightly unsettled that Yesung had not even budged, or blinked at the ferocity he was showing. "Get away from me!" Shindong shouted again, turning to face the scenery outside.
Yesung's hands trembled slightly, unable to take it anymore. He yanked Shindong down from the window still and held on tightly to Shindong's collar, pulling the guy along with him to the bathroom. He forced Shindong to stand in front of the mirror, finally provoked, glaring at his dongsaeng.
Shindong stood up shakily in front of the mirror, taking in his appearance that day for the first time. So haggard, so pale, such a portrait of someone who used to enjoy every single moment of life, such a complete opposite of what his fans would have expected him to be. He carefully lifted two fingers to touch the image before him, before flinching away and turning his gaze back to Yesung, who was trying to breathe deeply to calm himself down.
"You said you want us to get our hands off you? Do you know how much we want to comply? But we can't, just precisely because we are in the same group, we are members who look out for each other and care for each other. You think Eeteuk wanted to force you to stop eating? Have you even taken a close look at who is the real one behind all this, asking you to lose weight? Eeteuk is just the leader, he has to carry this out! Do you think he has a choice in the first place? And instead of gratitude, I see anger.
You want to know how much Ryeowook cried to me after that dinner we had together? He felt so bad, he cried so much and he drank so much for the first time. At the end of it all, before I had to physically remove him from the kitchen to put him into his bed, he sobbed uncontrollably, begging for your forgiveness, simply repeating what he had said again and again 'those eyes' Do you know how much you have frightened him, when he was just trying his best to help you?
And do you know how worried Eunhyuk is for you? He comes to check on you every half an hour, even if you are too absorbed in your own world to even notice him. He tries to draw you out of your shell, into his social circle, but every single time he failed, he walks quietly to his room to cry, and you didn't notice that, have you? You tore away the boisterous and 'monkey' side of him, replacing him with someone who is constantly worried and fretting, because of you.
Do you know how much time Donghae spent trying to coax Eunhyuk out of his tears? Or the times when Donghae personally promised that he would take care of you in place of Eunhyuk? Do you remember the time when Donghae handled you a glass of strawberry milk, because he thought that it might help you or tide you over for break? Eunhyuk had given him that very bottle of milk, and to think that he passed you something that his very own best friend gave him, do you know how much you mean exactly to all of us?
And this is how you treat us? And this is how the way you treat yourself?" Yesung's voice lowered. Shindong raised his gaze back to the mirror to stare in Yesung's eyes through the reflective surface, a surge of remorse rushing through. He steeled himself, not wanting to appear weak and frail in front of Yesung. He flinched away from the mirror, preferring to stare at the ground instead.
"And this is how you treat us, your very own members? When WHAT EXACTLY IS THE WAY WE HAD TREATED YOU?" Yesung shouted, not being able to continue in a calm manner.
"Forget it. If you really want to be alone by youself so much, so be it." Yesung's voice dropped to a whisper, before he tore himself away from that sight in front of him, and slammed the bathroom door behind him, leaving Shindong alone, with tears silently running down his cheeks.
Shindong slumped to the floor, his stomach wrenching. He gasped, as his stomach churned and threatened to squeeze the life out of him. He half-stumbled, half-crawled to the toilet bowl, and started to puke the strawberry ice cream he had just consumed, all of it out.
[How can something that is supposed to be so good, actually taste so bad?]
---At the hospital----
Eeteuk ran into the corridor ,with 11 other members trailing right behind him, each wearing their own expression of worry. He gripped Yesung by his shoulders tightly, who seemed to be in a slight daze.
"Hyung...I found him...slumped against the toilet bowl...he had fainted.....ate too much.....his stomach couldn't handle it....it was probably my fault. I shouldn't have told him off, it was all my fault." Yesung's voice trembled, before he broke down for the first time, right in his hyung's shoulders. Eeteuk rubbed soothing circles into Yesung's back, calming him down.
[I understand how you feel, being the hyung in your dorm. You are bound by the same ties as me, and we cannot change that. Sometimes, I just want to be a normal person, walking on the street, enjoying my own life, minding my own business. Too much is placed for us these days, every movement, every action, every glance, every breath we take, all scrutinised and quickly analysed by all members of the paparazzi out there. I understand how it is to be unable to control your own fate, your own destiny, leaving you hanging there, with no one else to rely on or turn to.]
"Yesung.....I am always here for you." Eeteuk whispered softly into his ear.
---------
Donghae pushed the door to the ward open tentatively, and breathed out a sigh of relief as he saw Shindong still lying on the bed, sleeping peacefully. He carefully motioned to the rest of the members to walk in quietly, and Eunhyuk had nearly stumbled into him in his anxiety and all.
"Hyung....I'm so sorry." Ryeowook mumbled, the tear tracks already evident on his face.
"Mianhe.....Shindong." Eunhyuk cried out, choking back on a sob so as not to wake the sleeping figure up.
The other members stood around the bed, a little awkward, not knowing what else to say or another way to better express what Ryeowook and Eunhyuk already stated. Donghae swallowed and fidgeted nervously with his shirt, glancing around the room once to notice that everyone was looking away, from the bed. [No one wants to remember this, or be reminded of this.]
Kangin gulped and fumbled with Shindong's blanket, drawing it up slightly to cover the body of his beloved friend. "Let's all go out and leave, Shindong needs some rest." Kangin mumbled, and everyone shuffled out of the hospital room slowly, unwilling to leave, yet unwilling to etch this scene into their memories. They knew they have to leave though, as being members of such a well-known Korean band, their total absence for just a few hours would simply bring the spotlight right down to Shindong.
A tear slowly fell from his eye, down to his cheek, as he forced himself to remain still and not to blow his pretence that he was only lying on the bed, with his eyes shut close, choking on every emotion that he never thought his members were feeling towards him.
---One month later----
"Yes, Shindong, we heard that you are trying to lose weight? Is it true?" The reporter quipped, and the atmosphere in the room immediately turned cold, with members of Super Junior fidgeting nervously around, tugging at creases that are either non-existent, or cannot be seen.
Shindong took in a deep breath before glancing once around at his members. Eunhyuk and Donghae, two of his best friends; Kangin, the person who gave him great advice at times, and possibly the only one who could really understand Shindong at this juncture; Sungmin, Kyuhyun and Ryeowook, who always managed to bring such joy and laughter to the band; Siwon, Hankyung, Heechul, who always manage to cheer up any atmosphere with their lame jokes and humble nature, for Siwon and Hankyung that is; Kibum, who was currently busy with his schedule, but had not forgotten to even take time out just to come back to celebrate the day when Shindong was released from the hospital; Eeteuk, the eternal umma, taking care of them, always making sure that they are well and comfortable, even at the expense of himself; and Yesung, the hyung of his dorm, the only one who had managed to knock some sense into him, and allow him to see the true caring forms of every single member, and how much he actually meant to all of them.
"I did lose 20kg, but I then gained 15kg back rapidly!" Shindong replied, ending with a hearty laugh. His members glanced at him, smiles breaking onto their faces, and joined Shindong in his laughter, sending peals of it reverberating throughout the room, infecting everyone with the joyous and playful mood that was once lost, and had now returned.
Pairing: Shindong/Yesung
Ratings: G
Summary: Shindong gets additional pressure from all his members, but he doesn't know that he himself, is inflicting the same amount of pressure on the others.
Pressure, stress, anxiety, all mixed into one. It could be breathtaking to a certain point of craziness, or choking and tight all of a sudden.
[No one wanted this to happen. Or perhaps, everyone wanted it to happen, just that I wasn't noticing it myself] Shindong mused to himself. Staring at the chocolate bar in his hands, the chocolate-stained front of his shirt, his gaze slowly shifted to the view outside, or rather, right below him. Shindong stared blindly out of the window, where he was currently sitting on the windowstill. He grabbed and tightened his grip on the chocolate bar, glaring at the suddenly offending chocolate bar in his hands. But somehow, it seemed like a type of punishment, a type of fulfillment at the same time, a type of desire and need mixed into one, or perhaps a type of disgust and dislike all into one.
[I can't make up my mind now. I never ever wanted this to happen.]
----Past-----
Eeteuk eyed the bag of potato chips in Shindong's hands, subtly raising his eyebrows as he glanced back and forth from the pack to Shindong's face. Eeteuk quickly turned his face away, not wanting to pressure one of his members. Although he had a responsibility to keep his members fit and well, he also had a similar obligation to take care of them and provide them with the best welfare that they desire. It was a clash, a conflict, something that couldn't be reconciled together. But he had this responsibility, he had to do it, even though he saw the glint, or flash of slight anger and pain in Shindong's eyes.
[He thought I didn't see that, did he?] Shindong thought to himself silently, understanding the position and plight of Eeteuk-shi, but not really appreciating it.
-----------
"And Shindong has promised that he will lose 20kg for his overwhelming and committed fans!" Eeteuk proudly exclaimed on a show, drawing surprised glances from everyone around him, including Shindong himself.
[When did I ever say that in the first place? No pressure? He is doing the exact opposite. Sometimes, I wonder if fans are the best, because the pressure they give can be suffocating and I can't breathe at times.] He averted his gaze to the ground, directing all his emotions towards the ground. Closing his eyes, he silently gripped his fist, channelling his anger through his fingers, right back into his hand, a vicious cycle. He could almost feel the pain of his fingernails cutting right into palm, but he couldn't care less now, this kind of pressure, suffocating, not leaving any place for him to rest or take a break, he couldn't take it anymore, and it occupied the whole of his mind.
Yesung glanced over, worried. He had seen that subtly closed fist that was trembling now, placed right beside Shindong's frame. [He is hiding it, his anger, his worries, his anxieties, his unwillingness, and I really don't know how to help him.]
------------
Shindong's chopsticks hovered uncertainly above the plate that was placed right in front of him, trying his best to ignore those stares aimed at the hand that was above the plate of pork. He gulped nervously, while the person sitting beside him, Ryeowook, glanced helpfully over and grabbed pieces of vegetables into Shindong's bowl. Shindong sighed inwardly, lowering his chopsticks back to his bowl of rice. He could see that his members had heaved a collective sigh of relief, and he wondered if even eating was wrong in the first place. Yesung carefully placed a hand on Shindong's lap, trying to reassure him and calm him down. Shindong didn't seem to notice this gesture, too absorbed in his own world, pondering over the ways of this world..
Ryeowook sighed inwardly to himself, hating the gesture he had just done. He hated it, but he knew he had to do it. Many fans were debating about his weight, wondering if Shindong had the willpower to control his diet and keep to 'his' promise. Members have been trying to keep it from him, all the negative news, all that pain that they know would potentially cripple one emotionally, so hard and straight into the heart, that they rather bear the pain themselves and see that anger directed at them, instead of that sadness that Shindong would face if he knew the truth, the real truth.
----Present----
Shindong glared at the pile of chocolates that were beside him, crushing one more bar of chocolate under his grasp. The chocolate quickly moulded under his hand, folding into the exact configuration of his fist. He took in a deep breath, and exhaled sharply, trying to relieve and exhale all his anger in one go. He stuffed one whole fistful of chocolate into his mouth, then spitting it right out into a basin beside him, disgusted. It was as if the taste of the chocolate had changed, or if possible, turned mouldy, weird, staining his mouth with this horrible taste that could not be easily forgotten. He stubbornly turned to the tub of strawberry ice cream beside him, digging in, forcing a wry smile onto his face as he dug the spoon deep into that pile.
----------
"Hey Yesung! Have you seen Shindong around? I need to discuss parts of the rap for our new album with him....and I can't find him around." Eunhyuk asked, all his breath rushing out in one gasp. "I'm worried, we all saw that pain that Shindong is now experiencing, and I wonder what he will do now..." Eunhyuk turned away cautiously, not wanting to show his true emotions though the windows of his soul, those eyes that belies his belief that he should still help Shindong to lose weight. It seemed too much to expect, and it took a toil even out of one of Shindong's best friend in Super Junior. It was too much, too much to desire for.
Yesung gently patted Eunhyuk on the shoulder, turning his head slightly away from the guy that was slightly slumped onto the wall in front of him, holding onto the wall for support. The former guy sighed, knowing the moods and temperamental swings Shindong was now prone to, due to the 'promise' that he had to fulfil. "Don't worry. I will find him." Yesung promised, a hint of determination in his eyes, before stalking off right in the opposite direction.
----At Kiss the Radio----
Eeteuk doodled aimlessly on the paper in front of him, knowing that Eunhyuk wasn't in the best of moods to host Kiss the Radio today. They were fortunate that they had no guests today, and just had to follow the script. He glanced down at the script, finally noting what he had drawn on the paper.
"Mianhe, Shindong"
Eeteuk hurriedly took the eraser and scrubbed it out, before anyone else could see it. Eunhyuk was staring down forlornly at the computer in front of him, reading through certain comments from members of the public, giving each of them a cursory glance. Eeteuk sighed, and wondered if he was doing the right thing after all. If listening to manager-hyung was correct after all. If placing pressure on Shindong to lose weight to please their fans was correct after all.
"Hyung." Eunhyuk stated simply, waving Eeteuk over to take a look at his phone in front of him. He glanced at Eunhyuk, who was expressionless, and still playing with the mouse, hand jerking back and forth. Eeteuk picked up the call.
"Yesung? I'm doing a live broadcast now. What's the....."
"Hyung! Come to the hospital now!" Yesung shouted abruptly into the phone, before the line went dead.
Eeteuk stared at the phone in horror, and Eunhyuk glanced at the terrified face of the leader, reading it and sensing that bad news was imminent.
----At the dorm, past----
The door behind Shindong opened abruptly, releasing a harsh creak as it moved against its wishes. Shindong ignored the intruder and continued to feed on the strawberry ice cream that was quickly dwindling in portion.
Yesung walked over and grabbed the spoon out of his hands, earning a glare from Shindong.
"What! Even you want to try to curb me from enjoying what I like to eat? Why can't you guys just leave me alone sometimes?" Shindong shouted, his eyes focused on Yesung's calm ones, feeling slightly unsettled that Yesung had not even budged, or blinked at the ferocity he was showing. "Get away from me!" Shindong shouted again, turning to face the scenery outside.
Yesung's hands trembled slightly, unable to take it anymore. He yanked Shindong down from the window still and held on tightly to Shindong's collar, pulling the guy along with him to the bathroom. He forced Shindong to stand in front of the mirror, finally provoked, glaring at his dongsaeng.
Shindong stood up shakily in front of the mirror, taking in his appearance that day for the first time. So haggard, so pale, such a portrait of someone who used to enjoy every single moment of life, such a complete opposite of what his fans would have expected him to be. He carefully lifted two fingers to touch the image before him, before flinching away and turning his gaze back to Yesung, who was trying to breathe deeply to calm himself down.
"You said you want us to get our hands off you? Do you know how much we want to comply? But we can't, just precisely because we are in the same group, we are members who look out for each other and care for each other. You think Eeteuk wanted to force you to stop eating? Have you even taken a close look at who is the real one behind all this, asking you to lose weight? Eeteuk is just the leader, he has to carry this out! Do you think he has a choice in the first place? And instead of gratitude, I see anger.
You want to know how much Ryeowook cried to me after that dinner we had together? He felt so bad, he cried so much and he drank so much for the first time. At the end of it all, before I had to physically remove him from the kitchen to put him into his bed, he sobbed uncontrollably, begging for your forgiveness, simply repeating what he had said again and again 'those eyes' Do you know how much you have frightened him, when he was just trying his best to help you?
And do you know how worried Eunhyuk is for you? He comes to check on you every half an hour, even if you are too absorbed in your own world to even notice him. He tries to draw you out of your shell, into his social circle, but every single time he failed, he walks quietly to his room to cry, and you didn't notice that, have you? You tore away the boisterous and 'monkey' side of him, replacing him with someone who is constantly worried and fretting, because of you.
Do you know how much time Donghae spent trying to coax Eunhyuk out of his tears? Or the times when Donghae personally promised that he would take care of you in place of Eunhyuk? Do you remember the time when Donghae handled you a glass of strawberry milk, because he thought that it might help you or tide you over for break? Eunhyuk had given him that very bottle of milk, and to think that he passed you something that his very own best friend gave him, do you know how much you mean exactly to all of us?
And this is how you treat us? And this is how the way you treat yourself?" Yesung's voice lowered. Shindong raised his gaze back to the mirror to stare in Yesung's eyes through the reflective surface, a surge of remorse rushing through. He steeled himself, not wanting to appear weak and frail in front of Yesung. He flinched away from the mirror, preferring to stare at the ground instead.
"And this is how you treat us, your very own members? When WHAT EXACTLY IS THE WAY WE HAD TREATED YOU?" Yesung shouted, not being able to continue in a calm manner.
"Forget it. If you really want to be alone by youself so much, so be it." Yesung's voice dropped to a whisper, before he tore himself away from that sight in front of him, and slammed the bathroom door behind him, leaving Shindong alone, with tears silently running down his cheeks.
Shindong slumped to the floor, his stomach wrenching. He gasped, as his stomach churned and threatened to squeeze the life out of him. He half-stumbled, half-crawled to the toilet bowl, and started to puke the strawberry ice cream he had just consumed, all of it out.
[How can something that is supposed to be so good, actually taste so bad?]
---At the hospital----
Eeteuk ran into the corridor ,with 11 other members trailing right behind him, each wearing their own expression of worry. He gripped Yesung by his shoulders tightly, who seemed to be in a slight daze.
"Hyung...I found him...slumped against the toilet bowl...he had fainted.....ate too much.....his stomach couldn't handle it....it was probably my fault. I shouldn't have told him off, it was all my fault." Yesung's voice trembled, before he broke down for the first time, right in his hyung's shoulders. Eeteuk rubbed soothing circles into Yesung's back, calming him down.
[I understand how you feel, being the hyung in your dorm. You are bound by the same ties as me, and we cannot change that. Sometimes, I just want to be a normal person, walking on the street, enjoying my own life, minding my own business. Too much is placed for us these days, every movement, every action, every glance, every breath we take, all scrutinised and quickly analysed by all members of the paparazzi out there. I understand how it is to be unable to control your own fate, your own destiny, leaving you hanging there, with no one else to rely on or turn to.]
"Yesung.....I am always here for you." Eeteuk whispered softly into his ear.
---------
Donghae pushed the door to the ward open tentatively, and breathed out a sigh of relief as he saw Shindong still lying on the bed, sleeping peacefully. He carefully motioned to the rest of the members to walk in quietly, and Eunhyuk had nearly stumbled into him in his anxiety and all.
"Hyung....I'm so sorry." Ryeowook mumbled, the tear tracks already evident on his face.
"Mianhe.....Shindong." Eunhyuk cried out, choking back on a sob so as not to wake the sleeping figure up.
The other members stood around the bed, a little awkward, not knowing what else to say or another way to better express what Ryeowook and Eunhyuk already stated. Donghae swallowed and fidgeted nervously with his shirt, glancing around the room once to notice that everyone was looking away, from the bed. [No one wants to remember this, or be reminded of this.]
Kangin gulped and fumbled with Shindong's blanket, drawing it up slightly to cover the body of his beloved friend. "Let's all go out and leave, Shindong needs some rest." Kangin mumbled, and everyone shuffled out of the hospital room slowly, unwilling to leave, yet unwilling to etch this scene into their memories. They knew they have to leave though, as being members of such a well-known Korean band, their total absence for just a few hours would simply bring the spotlight right down to Shindong.
A tear slowly fell from his eye, down to his cheek, as he forced himself to remain still and not to blow his pretence that he was only lying on the bed, with his eyes shut close, choking on every emotion that he never thought his members were feeling towards him.
---One month later----
"Yes, Shindong, we heard that you are trying to lose weight? Is it true?" The reporter quipped, and the atmosphere in the room immediately turned cold, with members of Super Junior fidgeting nervously around, tugging at creases that are either non-existent, or cannot be seen.
Shindong took in a deep breath before glancing once around at his members. Eunhyuk and Donghae, two of his best friends; Kangin, the person who gave him great advice at times, and possibly the only one who could really understand Shindong at this juncture; Sungmin, Kyuhyun and Ryeowook, who always managed to bring such joy and laughter to the band; Siwon, Hankyung, Heechul, who always manage to cheer up any atmosphere with their lame jokes and humble nature, for Siwon and Hankyung that is; Kibum, who was currently busy with his schedule, but had not forgotten to even take time out just to come back to celebrate the day when Shindong was released from the hospital; Eeteuk, the eternal umma, taking care of them, always making sure that they are well and comfortable, even at the expense of himself; and Yesung, the hyung of his dorm, the only one who had managed to knock some sense into him, and allow him to see the true caring forms of every single member, and how much he actually meant to all of them.
"I did lose 20kg, but I then gained 15kg back rapidly!" Shindong replied, ending with a hearty laugh. His members glanced at him, smiles breaking onto their faces, and joined Shindong in his laughter, sending peals of it reverberating throughout the room, infecting everyone with the joyous and playful mood that was once lost, and had now returned.