I've been thinking about going off to college, and my persona. You know, when you look at me, you see a chubby young woman with too many tattoos, stretched ears, and multiple facial piercings. I've been told I give off a non-chalant, "I-don't-give-a-shit" vibe before you speak to me. But then I do speak, and you realize that I'm incredibly ( Read more... )

i don't really know how i get into these messes, or why i don't pull away from them sooner. but this is one big daddy of a mess (i've been reading paper towns by john green ( Read more... )

there have been far too many men roaming around my mind and my body these past few days. i've made some mistakes, as have they.

everything is just such a mess; i don't know who are what i want, or if i even have a say in the matter.

it's been awhile.

for once, it would be nice if someone wanted to talk to me, and not vice versa.

there is so much i want to write.

i really wish jen were here, and it pisses me off.

i haven't journaled in awhile, here or in an actual notebook. so much has happened, but i don't want to remember most of it.

i'm moving out in less than two weeks, and god, i cannot wait. ugh.

and the final words couldn't come soon enough.

at the beginning of april, everything will be different. i will be a starbucks barista. i will be moving into a condo within walking distance of both of my jobs, with a very good friend of mine. i will know what college i will be running away to in the fall.

i can't wait until fall. i can't wait to leave ( Read more... )

I don't know why I'm freaking out right now.

 My entire life, which at eighteen I know isn't long, I've fought for my relationships: the first boy I "fell" for, my first "love," and countless best friends. I've been putting in the effort for as long as I can remember. I know that I'm not the best friend in the world, and even worse as a girlfriend. I know that I'm not that easy to put up with ( Read more... )

this stupid breakdown is tearing me apart right now ( Read more... )