Tainted Purity - Chapter 4
Title: Tainted Purity
Author: Tankyasue
Warning: Shounen-ai. Lime in later chapters.
Disclaimer: I don't own Tokyo Babylon, Clamp does.
Summary: Subaru discovers who Seishirou really is before the end of the bet.
Chapter 4 - Kiss Wasted on a Boy
Subaru half-heartedly forced himself out of bed. He had no idea what time it was, but he knew that he must have slept in because the sun was already shining brightly though his bedroom window. He had no recollection of anything that had happened the day before. He couldn't even remember getting ready for bed.
Subaru took a step forward, only to stumble and fall. 'Clumsy,' he reproached himself, as he forced himself to stand on wobbly legs. His head began to ache horribly, and his entire body felt stiff.
'W-What is this? Sakanagi?' Subaru thought tiredly just as a sudden wave of nausea overcame him.
Subaru dashed awkwardly into the washroom, without bothering to close the door behind him. He knelt before the toilet and dry heaved for several minutes. If he’d eaten anything the day before, he probably would have vomited.
'What happened yesterday?...' Subaru thought tiredly. He got up arduously and staggered towards the sink. He splashed water onto his face to revive himself, but he didn't feel any better than he had before.
Subaru stumbled out of the washroom. He almost didn't see Hokuto standing at the door. She must have come to check on him since he'd made so much noise in the washroom before.
"S-Subaru... you look terrible!" Hokuto exclaimed with obvious concern. "What happened to you last night?"
"I don't remember," he said hoarsely. He doubted that Hokuto would be able to understand him.
Suddenly, the phone started ringing. Subaru turned to stare at the receiver, but he didn't move.
After the third ring, Hokuto asked, "W-Would you like me to get that, Subaru?"
"Just let it ring,"he replied weakly.
The phone rang eight more times before it stopped. Neither Subaru nor Hokuto had moved an inch.
"S-Subaru, You really should go back to bed. You look terrible.” Hokuto grabbed him by the hand, and began leading him back to his bedroom. Subaru didn’t protest.
Hokuto spent a great deal of time tucking him into bed. Subaru had expected her to leave afterwards, but she remained in the room with him, sitting on the edge of his bed. She was uncharacteristically silent. The expression on her face made her seem so pitiful that it was difficult to believe that she had ever been strong.
Suddenly, Subaru remembered what the dreamseer had told him before. The Sakurazukamori would kill Hokuto-chan; she would sacrifice her life so he could live.
Subaru grabbed onto Hokuto tightly and began sobbing against her chest. He didn't want his sister to leave him, ever. Hokuto-chan... He would kill the Sakurazukamori himself if he ever tried to take her away.
"Subaru... what's wrong?" his sister asked softly. She was now holding onto him as tightly as he was holding onto her.
If Subaru had been able to speak he would have begged her not to die; he would have asked her to never leave him, but all he could do was cry pathetically against her chest.
Subaru cautiously walked out of the shower, all but clinging to the tower wrapped around his waist. He knew that Hokuto wouldn't be back for at least a half hour, but he still didn't like roaming around his apartment practically naked. Normally, he would have brought a clean outfit in the washroom with him, but he for some reason he'd forgotten to this time. Hokuto had instructed him to leave all his dirty clothes outside the door before he begun showering because she'd wanted to do his laundry that day, so he'd had nothing else to wear. Subaru looked forlornly at the pile of clothing beside the washroom door. He wished that he were wearing something.
Subaru glanced around the apartment cautiously before darting into his bedroom and grabbing the first articles of clothing that he'd found lying around. Even though he knew that no one was there, Subaru made sure that his bedroom door was completely closed before he began changing. Though he hadn't seen the Sakurazukamori for several days, he could still feel him watching him always.
Even after he was dressed, Subaru still didn't feel safe. Not that he could ever feel safe knowing that the Sakurazukamori might come back at any time. He knew that he had to do something or Hokuto would die, but what could he do? Kuzuki seemed to think that he could just kill the man, but things weren't so simple. He wasn't strong enough to beat the Sakurazukamori if he confronted him, and even if did manage to defeat him there were be legal repercussions.
If he were to be truthful with himself, he didn't even want to kill the Sakurazukamori, but if that were the only way that he could save his sister, he would do it.
Subaru sat on his bed, waiting for Hokuto to return. He didn't like it when she was gone. Something could happen to her and he wouldn't be able to save her. He'd asked Hokuto if he could go with her before she'd left, but she just told him to stay in bed.
He was tired of lying around and doing nothing!
Subaru checked his watch. Hokuto should be back in less than ten minutes.
He got up off his bed abruptly and walked into the living room. He knew that Hokuto would be upset with him for getting out of bed, but he wanted to be able to see her the moment that she got back.
Subaru glanced at his watch again when he entered the living room. Eight and a half minutes. Hokuto should be back in eight and a half minutes.
Subaru scratched the back of his hand nervously. For someone who was usually as busy as he was, it felt awkward to just stand around doing nothing. Then he noticed the answering machine sitting on the end table against the wall. He hadn't checked his messages for several days. Hokuto had told him that she'd informed their grandmother of his... 'illness' but he couldn't put off work forever. Even if he still didn’t feel completely better, it wouldn't hurt to check his messages to see what he'd missed. Tentatively, Subaru reached out to press the play button. The phone began ringing before he'd even touched it.
"H-Hello," he said, automatically picking up the receiver.
"Subaru-kun! You sound so healthy!" an enthusiastic voice cried out. It could only belong to one person...
"S-S-Seishirou-san!?"
"Hokuto-chan's told me that you haven't been feeling well lately. I was planning to come over and-"
Subaru hung up the phone before the man could even finish his sentence.
The phone started ringing again a few seconds later.
Seishirou was standing at his kitchen counter with a cigarette in one hand and his phone receiver in the other. He thought that he had been remarkably patient with Subaru, but now he was just getting irritated. If the boy refused to speak with him, he would just have to meet with him directly.
Suddenly, he heard someone knocking at the front door. Subaru dashed to the door threw it open automatically, expecting to find Hokuto standing behind it. And, She was there, just as he'd hoped she would be, but the Sakurazukamori wasn’t supposed to be standing right beside her with his hand on her shoulder.
"What are you doing up, Subaru?" his sister scolded gently. She stepped away from the Sakurazukamori and moved closer towards him. Subaru instinctively wrapped his arms around her shoulders and buried his face in her chest, but said nothing. He couldn't see the expression on Seishirou’s face.
"You're certainly much more affectionate than usual," a cheery, baritone voice said suddenly.
Subaru tightened his arms around his sister, but he refused to look at the man.
"Perhaps you'd like to give me a hug as well."
Hokuto pulled away from him suddenly. The Sakurazukamori was standing in her place.
"Wouldn't you like to give me a hug, Subaru-kun?"
"I-" Subaru stuttered, taking a step back.
He took a step forward.
"Subaru, Sei-chan hasn't seen you in days. Aren't you going to at least say 'hi' to him?" Hokuto scolded from somewhere far away.
Subaru found himself pressed against a closed door.
"You certainly have gotten pale. Are you still sick?" Seishirou asked, placing a hand on his forehead. Subaru suddenly felt cold.
"Well, he doesn't have a fever. How long have you been ill, Subaru-kun?"
"He’s been sick for about three days,” Hokuto answered for him.
"He’s probably been inside for too long. A little air might be good for him. Perhaps we could all go to the park together.” He turned to look at Hokuto after he said this, silently asking for her permission to take him away. He wasn’t going to be given a choice in this matter.
"I think that you two should go alone. Subaru's probably sick of me after seeing so much of me recently,” Hokuto said almost mournfully. “Besides, I think that you need to spend more time together!”
"B-But Hokuto-chan-" Subaru exclaimed, pushing away from Seishirou suddenly. He couldn’t see the irritated expression on his face.
Hokuto smiled at him lackadaisically. Her smile didn’t reach her eyes. “I was planning on shopping today anyway, so you should just go without me."
It couldn’t have been any more obvious that she was lying. She was no better at it than he was, despite what she so often told him.
Seishirou came up from behind him suddenly, and wrapped his arms around his shoulders. “If Hokuto-chan wants to be alone that badly, lets just leave her be."
"But-"
‘I don’t want to be alone with you.’
"Good-bye Hokuto-chan!" Seishirou cried out, grabbing him by the arm. He led hastily him towards his car, without giving him a chance to resist further.
Subaru focused on the towering buildings outside the glass window, just so he wouldn’t have to look at the man sitting beside him.
“Is something the matter? You don’t seem very cheerful,” the man asked, never taking his eyes off the street in front of him. His voice sounded kind and cheerful as it always did, and yet there was a strained quality to it.
Subaru turned to look at the man, but said nothing. He had no idea what to say.
“Bad dream, perhaps?” Seishirou continued as if he hadn’t even noticed his lack of response.
“How did you know?” he whispered in a voice that must have been too low to be heard. He knew that it was a stupid question. Seishirou was a very observant person. If he began to behave in a way that was unusual, he would suspect that something was wrong, and it wasn’t like he’d been discreet either.
“Subaru-kun, is everything alright?”
“Y-Yes. Everything’s fine. I was just… thinking.” His voice sounded so hoarse that it was hard to believe it was his own.
“So will you tell me what you were thinking about? Anything that can keep you so preoccupied must be very interesting. Even you normally aren’t this quiet around me. Or perhaps have I done something to offend you?”
“I was thinking about the dream that I had last night. It seemed important at the time, but now I can’t remember it.”
“Well, I’m glad that you’re not upset with me. You know that I would never want to do anything to hurt you, Subaru-kun,” he replied with a nauseatingly wide grin. “Since you don’t get out very often, I want you to enjoy yourself while you’re here. C’mon, let’s get some ice cream!”
The car stopped harshly. Subaru was literally dragged out of the vehicle and lead in the direction of an ice cream stand.
“Let’s see… I’ll have two scopes of chocolate, one of strawberry, three rocky road, one banana, a chocolate mint, and two chocolate chip cookie dough.”
“Here you are sir,” the girl behind the counter said as she handed him the cone slowly. “And what about your girlfriend?”
“WHAT?!”
“What would you like, Subaru-kun?”
“W-well I’m not very hungry…”
“Alright then! Give him the same thing as me, but add three scopes of vanilla as well please!”
“Y-yes,” the girl muttered as she began scooping up the ice cream and gingerly placing it into the cone, glancing at Seishirou-san every now and then. Her lips formed the word, ‘him’ silently, but only Subaru noticed it.
Finally she handed him the ice cream cone without looking at him directly. “Um… here you go then…”
Subaru didn’t see the young children chasing each other around the park, nor could he appreciate the lovely weather. His attention had been ensnared completely by the person standing next to him. At this moment, it was difficult to imagine that he could be a murderer. There was something about the way that the man seemed to gain so much pleasure out of something as simple as ice cream that made him seem childish and innocent. But, then he detected the faint odour of blood mingling with the scent of cherry blossoms, and he suddenly felt sick all over again.
Seishirou turned to look at him with an almost genuine look of concern. “Subaru-kun, you haven’t eaten any of your ice cream yet. If you aren’t feeling very well, I could take you home and tuck you in bed.”
Subaru’s face turned bright red. “T-T-That isn’t necessary. I-I feel f-fine.”
“Do you dislike me so much that you’d refuse to eat something just because I bought it for you?”
“O-Of course not!”
“Then try some.”
Tentatively, Subaru licked a scoop of chocolate chip cookie dough with the tip of his tongue. It tasted bitter in his mouth.
“Subaru-kun, why are you upset with me?” Seishirou asked abruptly.
Subaru began to sweat. “I-I'm not upset with you. I just-I haven’t been feeling well lately so I-”
“You know, I never thought that you were capable of lying, my Subaru-kun. You always seemed like the kind of person who would never lie, even if it meant saving his own life. But it seems that I was mistaken. That was the second time that you’ve lied to me.”
Subaru began trembling slightly, but said nothing.
“You remember the first time don’t you?” The Sakurazukamori murmured, moving closer to him. “A few days ago, I asked you out on a date since Hokuto-chan had informed me that you didn’t have any work. Why did you tell me that you had a job that day?”
“Seishirou-san, please I-I…”
“There has been something bothering you lately, and you are going to tell me exactly what it is. The exorcism you performed last night should have been easy for someone with you abilities, but you-”
“That was just-”
“Why have you been avoiding me for the past few days?”
“I-”
“Subaru-kun, when I told you that I loved you just before your last job, you said that you didn’t believe me. Why do you feel that way?” Seishirou asked, stepping closer towards him.
Subaru was too terrified to move away.
“You don’t need to be afraid of me,” he whispered softly in his ear. “I wasn’t lying to you when I said I loved you. I truly do love you, Subaru-kun. I love you.”
“DON’T SAY THAT!” Subaru screamed. He didn’t notice that several people were now staring in their direction.
Why did the Sakurazukamori say things like this to him? It was bad enough that he had the nerve to accuse him of lying when everything that he had ever said to him was a lie. Why did he have to pretend that he cared about him when it was now painfully obvious that he really didn’t give damn if he lived or died. If Seishirou-san wanted to kill him, that was fine, but why wouldn’t he just hurry up and do it already? Why did he continue to play with his mind?
“Seishirou-san, I don’t want you to say that ever again,” Subaru’s said in an even tone. “You told me that you didn’t like it when I lie to you just awhile ago, but you lie to me all the time. A-At first, I thought that you only said those weird things because you and Hokuto-chan find it amusing, but even when she’s not around you don’t stop. I hate it when you tease me! It’s… it’s not normal!”
“Is that the reason why you’ve been treating me so coldly?”
Subaru took a step back, but Seishirou only moved closer.
“Subaru-kun, I’ve told you that I love you again and again, but no matter how many times I say it, you still don’t believe me. My words don’t mean anything to you, do they?”
Whatever Subaru might have said next died before it reached his lips. He could no longer remember why he had been angry with the man. He knew that he couldn’t trust him as he’d faked loving him so easily before, and yet there had been a hint of sorrow in his tone that had sounded so genuine that he could not deny it. Seishirou may not be able to love someone, but maybe he really wanted to…
Subaru didn’t realize that Seishirou’s face was barely an inch away from his own, until he felt warm breath upon his cheek. Strong arms wrapped around his waist before he could think clearly enough to move away, and mere seconds later Seishirou’s lips were on his own.
Seishirou pulled away only a moment later. His expression appeared melancholy, and though he had no idea what might have upset him, he couldn’t help but feel that it was his fault.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that,” Seishirou said, turning away from him suddenly.
Subaru knew that he should have been angry with the man, and yet he couldn’t bring himself to blame him for anything. Whatever it was that had happened between them had been his fault because he couldn’t understand anything.
“I’ll drive you home,” Seishirou said abruptly, without looking at him.
Subaru wished he could think of something to say, but Seishirou began walking away from him before he could think of anything. Subaru followed him wordlessly from behind him.
Distantly, Subaru knew that guilt wasn’t appropriate in this situation, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. Everything that had happened up until now had been entirely his fault.
Author: Tankyasue
Warning: Shounen-ai. Lime in later chapters.
Disclaimer: I don't own Tokyo Babylon, Clamp does.
Summary: Subaru discovers who Seishirou really is before the end of the bet.
Chapter 4 - Kiss Wasted on a Boy
Subaru half-heartedly forced himself out of bed. He had no idea what time it was, but he knew that he must have slept in because the sun was already shining brightly though his bedroom window. He had no recollection of anything that had happened the day before. He couldn't even remember getting ready for bed.
Subaru took a step forward, only to stumble and fall. 'Clumsy,' he reproached himself, as he forced himself to stand on wobbly legs. His head began to ache horribly, and his entire body felt stiff.
'W-What is this? Sakanagi?' Subaru thought tiredly just as a sudden wave of nausea overcame him.
Subaru dashed awkwardly into the washroom, without bothering to close the door behind him. He knelt before the toilet and dry heaved for several minutes. If he’d eaten anything the day before, he probably would have vomited.
'What happened yesterday?...' Subaru thought tiredly. He got up arduously and staggered towards the sink. He splashed water onto his face to revive himself, but he didn't feel any better than he had before.
Subaru stumbled out of the washroom. He almost didn't see Hokuto standing at the door. She must have come to check on him since he'd made so much noise in the washroom before.
"S-Subaru... you look terrible!" Hokuto exclaimed with obvious concern. "What happened to you last night?"
"I don't remember," he said hoarsely. He doubted that Hokuto would be able to understand him.
Suddenly, the phone started ringing. Subaru turned to stare at the receiver, but he didn't move.
After the third ring, Hokuto asked, "W-Would you like me to get that, Subaru?"
"Just let it ring,"he replied weakly.
The phone rang eight more times before it stopped. Neither Subaru nor Hokuto had moved an inch.
"S-Subaru, You really should go back to bed. You look terrible.” Hokuto grabbed him by the hand, and began leading him back to his bedroom. Subaru didn’t protest.
Hokuto spent a great deal of time tucking him into bed. Subaru had expected her to leave afterwards, but she remained in the room with him, sitting on the edge of his bed. She was uncharacteristically silent. The expression on her face made her seem so pitiful that it was difficult to believe that she had ever been strong.
Suddenly, Subaru remembered what the dreamseer had told him before. The Sakurazukamori would kill Hokuto-chan; she would sacrifice her life so he could live.
Subaru grabbed onto Hokuto tightly and began sobbing against her chest. He didn't want his sister to leave him, ever. Hokuto-chan... He would kill the Sakurazukamori himself if he ever tried to take her away.
"Subaru... what's wrong?" his sister asked softly. She was now holding onto him as tightly as he was holding onto her.
If Subaru had been able to speak he would have begged her not to die; he would have asked her to never leave him, but all he could do was cry pathetically against her chest.
Subaru cautiously walked out of the shower, all but clinging to the tower wrapped around his waist. He knew that Hokuto wouldn't be back for at least a half hour, but he still didn't like roaming around his apartment practically naked. Normally, he would have brought a clean outfit in the washroom with him, but he for some reason he'd forgotten to this time. Hokuto had instructed him to leave all his dirty clothes outside the door before he begun showering because she'd wanted to do his laundry that day, so he'd had nothing else to wear. Subaru looked forlornly at the pile of clothing beside the washroom door. He wished that he were wearing something.
Subaru glanced around the apartment cautiously before darting into his bedroom and grabbing the first articles of clothing that he'd found lying around. Even though he knew that no one was there, Subaru made sure that his bedroom door was completely closed before he began changing. Though he hadn't seen the Sakurazukamori for several days, he could still feel him watching him always.
Even after he was dressed, Subaru still didn't feel safe. Not that he could ever feel safe knowing that the Sakurazukamori might come back at any time. He knew that he had to do something or Hokuto would die, but what could he do? Kuzuki seemed to think that he could just kill the man, but things weren't so simple. He wasn't strong enough to beat the Sakurazukamori if he confronted him, and even if did manage to defeat him there were be legal repercussions.
If he were to be truthful with himself, he didn't even want to kill the Sakurazukamori, but if that were the only way that he could save his sister, he would do it.
Subaru sat on his bed, waiting for Hokuto to return. He didn't like it when she was gone. Something could happen to her and he wouldn't be able to save her. He'd asked Hokuto if he could go with her before she'd left, but she just told him to stay in bed.
He was tired of lying around and doing nothing!
Subaru checked his watch. Hokuto should be back in less than ten minutes.
He got up off his bed abruptly and walked into the living room. He knew that Hokuto would be upset with him for getting out of bed, but he wanted to be able to see her the moment that she got back.
Subaru glanced at his watch again when he entered the living room. Eight and a half minutes. Hokuto should be back in eight and a half minutes.
Subaru scratched the back of his hand nervously. For someone who was usually as busy as he was, it felt awkward to just stand around doing nothing. Then he noticed the answering machine sitting on the end table against the wall. He hadn't checked his messages for several days. Hokuto had told him that she'd informed their grandmother of his... 'illness' but he couldn't put off work forever. Even if he still didn’t feel completely better, it wouldn't hurt to check his messages to see what he'd missed. Tentatively, Subaru reached out to press the play button. The phone began ringing before he'd even touched it.
"H-Hello," he said, automatically picking up the receiver.
"Subaru-kun! You sound so healthy!" an enthusiastic voice cried out. It could only belong to one person...
"S-S-Seishirou-san!?"
"Hokuto-chan's told me that you haven't been feeling well lately. I was planning to come over and-"
Subaru hung up the phone before the man could even finish his sentence.
The phone started ringing again a few seconds later.
Seishirou was standing at his kitchen counter with a cigarette in one hand and his phone receiver in the other. He thought that he had been remarkably patient with Subaru, but now he was just getting irritated. If the boy refused to speak with him, he would just have to meet with him directly.
Suddenly, he heard someone knocking at the front door. Subaru dashed to the door threw it open automatically, expecting to find Hokuto standing behind it. And, She was there, just as he'd hoped she would be, but the Sakurazukamori wasn’t supposed to be standing right beside her with his hand on her shoulder.
"What are you doing up, Subaru?" his sister scolded gently. She stepped away from the Sakurazukamori and moved closer towards him. Subaru instinctively wrapped his arms around her shoulders and buried his face in her chest, but said nothing. He couldn't see the expression on Seishirou’s face.
"You're certainly much more affectionate than usual," a cheery, baritone voice said suddenly.
Subaru tightened his arms around his sister, but he refused to look at the man.
"Perhaps you'd like to give me a hug as well."
Hokuto pulled away from him suddenly. The Sakurazukamori was standing in her place.
"Wouldn't you like to give me a hug, Subaru-kun?"
"I-" Subaru stuttered, taking a step back.
He took a step forward.
"Subaru, Sei-chan hasn't seen you in days. Aren't you going to at least say 'hi' to him?" Hokuto scolded from somewhere far away.
Subaru found himself pressed against a closed door.
"You certainly have gotten pale. Are you still sick?" Seishirou asked, placing a hand on his forehead. Subaru suddenly felt cold.
"Well, he doesn't have a fever. How long have you been ill, Subaru-kun?"
"He’s been sick for about three days,” Hokuto answered for him.
"He’s probably been inside for too long. A little air might be good for him. Perhaps we could all go to the park together.” He turned to look at Hokuto after he said this, silently asking for her permission to take him away. He wasn’t going to be given a choice in this matter.
"I think that you two should go alone. Subaru's probably sick of me after seeing so much of me recently,” Hokuto said almost mournfully. “Besides, I think that you need to spend more time together!”
"B-But Hokuto-chan-" Subaru exclaimed, pushing away from Seishirou suddenly. He couldn’t see the irritated expression on his face.
Hokuto smiled at him lackadaisically. Her smile didn’t reach her eyes. “I was planning on shopping today anyway, so you should just go without me."
It couldn’t have been any more obvious that she was lying. She was no better at it than he was, despite what she so often told him.
Seishirou came up from behind him suddenly, and wrapped his arms around his shoulders. “If Hokuto-chan wants to be alone that badly, lets just leave her be."
"But-"
‘I don’t want to be alone with you.’
"Good-bye Hokuto-chan!" Seishirou cried out, grabbing him by the arm. He led hastily him towards his car, without giving him a chance to resist further.
Subaru focused on the towering buildings outside the glass window, just so he wouldn’t have to look at the man sitting beside him.
“Is something the matter? You don’t seem very cheerful,” the man asked, never taking his eyes off the street in front of him. His voice sounded kind and cheerful as it always did, and yet there was a strained quality to it.
Subaru turned to look at the man, but said nothing. He had no idea what to say.
“Bad dream, perhaps?” Seishirou continued as if he hadn’t even noticed his lack of response.
“How did you know?” he whispered in a voice that must have been too low to be heard. He knew that it was a stupid question. Seishirou was a very observant person. If he began to behave in a way that was unusual, he would suspect that something was wrong, and it wasn’t like he’d been discreet either.
“Subaru-kun, is everything alright?”
“Y-Yes. Everything’s fine. I was just… thinking.” His voice sounded so hoarse that it was hard to believe it was his own.
“So will you tell me what you were thinking about? Anything that can keep you so preoccupied must be very interesting. Even you normally aren’t this quiet around me. Or perhaps have I done something to offend you?”
“I was thinking about the dream that I had last night. It seemed important at the time, but now I can’t remember it.”
“Well, I’m glad that you’re not upset with me. You know that I would never want to do anything to hurt you, Subaru-kun,” he replied with a nauseatingly wide grin. “Since you don’t get out very often, I want you to enjoy yourself while you’re here. C’mon, let’s get some ice cream!”
The car stopped harshly. Subaru was literally dragged out of the vehicle and lead in the direction of an ice cream stand.
“Let’s see… I’ll have two scopes of chocolate, one of strawberry, three rocky road, one banana, a chocolate mint, and two chocolate chip cookie dough.”
“Here you are sir,” the girl behind the counter said as she handed him the cone slowly. “And what about your girlfriend?”
“WHAT?!”
“What would you like, Subaru-kun?”
“W-well I’m not very hungry…”
“Alright then! Give him the same thing as me, but add three scopes of vanilla as well please!”
“Y-yes,” the girl muttered as she began scooping up the ice cream and gingerly placing it into the cone, glancing at Seishirou-san every now and then. Her lips formed the word, ‘him’ silently, but only Subaru noticed it.
Finally she handed him the ice cream cone without looking at him directly. “Um… here you go then…”
Subaru didn’t see the young children chasing each other around the park, nor could he appreciate the lovely weather. His attention had been ensnared completely by the person standing next to him. At this moment, it was difficult to imagine that he could be a murderer. There was something about the way that the man seemed to gain so much pleasure out of something as simple as ice cream that made him seem childish and innocent. But, then he detected the faint odour of blood mingling with the scent of cherry blossoms, and he suddenly felt sick all over again.
Seishirou turned to look at him with an almost genuine look of concern. “Subaru-kun, you haven’t eaten any of your ice cream yet. If you aren’t feeling very well, I could take you home and tuck you in bed.”
Subaru’s face turned bright red. “T-T-That isn’t necessary. I-I feel f-fine.”
“Do you dislike me so much that you’d refuse to eat something just because I bought it for you?”
“O-Of course not!”
“Then try some.”
Tentatively, Subaru licked a scoop of chocolate chip cookie dough with the tip of his tongue. It tasted bitter in his mouth.
“Subaru-kun, why are you upset with me?” Seishirou asked abruptly.
Subaru began to sweat. “I-I'm not upset with you. I just-I haven’t been feeling well lately so I-”
“You know, I never thought that you were capable of lying, my Subaru-kun. You always seemed like the kind of person who would never lie, even if it meant saving his own life. But it seems that I was mistaken. That was the second time that you’ve lied to me.”
Subaru began trembling slightly, but said nothing.
“You remember the first time don’t you?” The Sakurazukamori murmured, moving closer to him. “A few days ago, I asked you out on a date since Hokuto-chan had informed me that you didn’t have any work. Why did you tell me that you had a job that day?”
“Seishirou-san, please I-I…”
“There has been something bothering you lately, and you are going to tell me exactly what it is. The exorcism you performed last night should have been easy for someone with you abilities, but you-”
“That was just-”
“Why have you been avoiding me for the past few days?”
“I-”
“Subaru-kun, when I told you that I loved you just before your last job, you said that you didn’t believe me. Why do you feel that way?” Seishirou asked, stepping closer towards him.
Subaru was too terrified to move away.
“You don’t need to be afraid of me,” he whispered softly in his ear. “I wasn’t lying to you when I said I loved you. I truly do love you, Subaru-kun. I love you.”
“DON’T SAY THAT!” Subaru screamed. He didn’t notice that several people were now staring in their direction.
Why did the Sakurazukamori say things like this to him? It was bad enough that he had the nerve to accuse him of lying when everything that he had ever said to him was a lie. Why did he have to pretend that he cared about him when it was now painfully obvious that he really didn’t give damn if he lived or died. If Seishirou-san wanted to kill him, that was fine, but why wouldn’t he just hurry up and do it already? Why did he continue to play with his mind?
“Seishirou-san, I don’t want you to say that ever again,” Subaru’s said in an even tone. “You told me that you didn’t like it when I lie to you just awhile ago, but you lie to me all the time. A-At first, I thought that you only said those weird things because you and Hokuto-chan find it amusing, but even when she’s not around you don’t stop. I hate it when you tease me! It’s… it’s not normal!”
“Is that the reason why you’ve been treating me so coldly?”
Subaru took a step back, but Seishirou only moved closer.
“Subaru-kun, I’ve told you that I love you again and again, but no matter how many times I say it, you still don’t believe me. My words don’t mean anything to you, do they?”
Whatever Subaru might have said next died before it reached his lips. He could no longer remember why he had been angry with the man. He knew that he couldn’t trust him as he’d faked loving him so easily before, and yet there had been a hint of sorrow in his tone that had sounded so genuine that he could not deny it. Seishirou may not be able to love someone, but maybe he really wanted to…
Subaru didn’t realize that Seishirou’s face was barely an inch away from his own, until he felt warm breath upon his cheek. Strong arms wrapped around his waist before he could think clearly enough to move away, and mere seconds later Seishirou’s lips were on his own.
Seishirou pulled away only a moment later. His expression appeared melancholy, and though he had no idea what might have upset him, he couldn’t help but feel that it was his fault.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that,” Seishirou said, turning away from him suddenly.
Subaru knew that he should have been angry with the man, and yet he couldn’t bring himself to blame him for anything. Whatever it was that had happened between them had been his fault because he couldn’t understand anything.
“I’ll drive you home,” Seishirou said abruptly, without looking at him.
Subaru wished he could think of something to say, but Seishirou began walking away from him before he could think of anything. Subaru followed him wordlessly from behind him.
Distantly, Subaru knew that guilt wasn’t appropriate in this situation, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. Everything that had happened up until now had been entirely his fault.