Tainted Purity - Chapter 6
Title: Tainted Purity
Author: Tankyasue
Warning: Shounen-ai. Lime in later chapters.
Disclaimer: I don't own Tokyo Babylon, Clamp does.
Summary: Subaru discovers who Seishirou really is before the end of the bet.
Chapter 6 - Dancing in Babylon
'Why did I come here?' Subaru asked himself for what must have been the millionth time. When he'd gotten into the van with the Sakurazukamori, it had seemed like the best-and only-option. Then he'd known then that he couldn't keep avoiding the Sakurazukamori forever, but now he just wished that he could be alone with Hokuto again. Of course, like most good things, that was impossible. He had to be here to watch the Sakurazukamori, find a way to defeat him, and keep him as far away from Hokuto as possible. Otherwise, she would die, and he'd be all alone.
Still, everything had seemed so much easier before he’d been sitting beside the man, forced to endure the over-powering scents of blood and cherry blossoms that seemed to linger wherever he went. Though in a way he was grateful for the odour because otherwise he might have found himself thinking of that man as ‘Seishirou-san’ again.
"Subaru-kun," the man said suddenly, startling him. "You haven't said a word since you got in here. Are you feeling alright?"
The Sakurazukamori reached out and put his hand on his forehead. Subaru began to sweat.
"Well, you don't have a fever, but you've gotten very pale. Maybe I should-"
"I-I'm fine!" Subaru exclaimed suddenly. He knew that if he allowed the Sakurazukamori to finish, he would have suggested taking him home, and while it would be nice to get away from him, he couldn't let him near Hokuto.
"Really?" the man said with obvious disbelief. "But, you don't look well at all."
"I'm just a little tired "
"And what about this?" he asked, grabbing his hand abruptly.
"Oh that..." Subaru had completely forgotten about the wound on his hand. He could only vaguely remember being bitten by the inugami less than a half hour before. "I-It's nothing really. I wouldn't even call it a scratch."
"Nonsense!" The man scolded. "You're bleeding quite a bit, and that wound looks terrible. It could get infected if you don't do something about it-wait I think I have some disinfectant in here somewhere. I'll take care of that once we stop."
Subaru remained inert and said nothing as the Sakurazukamori continued holding onto him. It seemed that he had been touching him more than usual as of late, but perhaps he’d just hadn’t noticed it as much before.
Once they had stopped, the Sakurazukamori began searching frantically for the disinfectant. Subaru had a feeling that the man knew exactly where it was, but chose not to comment on it.
"I knew that it was here somewhere!" the Sakurazukamori exclaimed after several minutes. He waved the bottle of disinfectant in the air as if it were some kind of trophy.
“Now let me see your hand.” The man captured his hand within his own without giving him a chance to protest. Subaru reluctantly allowed the Sakurazukamori to disinfect his wound. He knew that what the man was doing was just another one of the things that he did in order to maintain his ‘kind veterinarian’ facade, and yet he couldn’t help but wonder why he bothered. Why would anyone spend so much time taking care of a person that he didn’t like just because he’d made a bet with that person several years ago?
"I hope that I'm not hurting you too much, Subaru-kun, but this will get infected if I don't do something.”
"N-No. I'm fine.”
"Well, I think that I've taken care of it, but please try to take better care of yourself from now on,” the Sakurazukamori said once he’d finally let go of him. “It would be a shame if such beautiful hands were to get scarred.”
Subaru said nothing in response.
“Anyway, I think we should get going,” the man said suddenly, moving to get out of the car. “Otherwise, Sunshine 60 is going to close before we get there.”
“This has always been one of my favourite places,” the Sakurazukamori said cheerfully as he opened the door for Subaru and motioned for him to walk through. “I’ve wanted to bring you here for awhile, but you’re always so busy.”
Subaru barely heard his words as he stepped through the doorway, aware that the Sakurazukamori was directly behind him. “I’ve booked us a table in the back so that we can have a little more privacy,” the man whispered softly in his ear. “I know how crowds make you uncomfortable, Subaru-kun.” Subaru stiffened as the man lead him by the hand towards an isolated table in a corner.
“I apologize if this place is a little too fancy for your liking. Perhaps you’re still a little too young to enjoy this sort of thing,” the man said smoothly as he motioned for Subaru to take a seat.
Subaru sat down reluctantly. He wondered why the Sakurazukamori always had to be so polite around him, even though he was so much younger than he was. Perhaps he felt obligated to do so because of the bet, but it still didn’t make any sense. Not that anything that the man did ever had.
“You don’t need to be shy around me, Subaru-kun,” the man said as he took the seat beside him. “If you really don’t like it here, we can leave at any time. I could take you to Ueno Park again if you would feel more comfortable there. I’ll even buy you ice cream.”
“N-No thank you!” Subaru exclaimed. His face became hot as he remembered what had happened the last time that he’d been to Ueno Park with the Sakurazukamori.
“Don’t worry about inconveniencing me. If you feel uncomfortable here, we’ll leave immediately.”
“I’m fine.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes.”
“Well, I guess it wouldn’t hurt to take a look at the menu first. If you find that the food is too fancy for your liking-”
“I-I’m sure that there’s something here that I’ll like,” he said hastily grabbing the menu. He scanned its contents thoroughly for several minutes, but he couldn’t find anything that he had even heard of.
“Have you decided what you would like to order?” the man said cheerfully. If he was annoyed with him for taking so much time just deciding what to eat, he didn’t show it.
“N-Not yet…” Subaru replied, scanning the menu a second time. “There just so much here.”
“Are you having difficulty making a decision?”
“Erm… w-well I guess t-that I was thinking of getting… rice and um… maybe some salad. I’m not very hungry today.”
“I’m sorry, but you can’t get rice here, and I’m not sure if you’d like any of the salads. If you want something light, I can help you find something, but I think it would do you some good if you tried to eat a little bit more. Hokuto told me that you left for work very early in the morning without having breakfast first, and I doubt that you’ve had anything for lunch either.”
“I-I’m fine. Just a little tired really…”
“Subaru-kun, you’re too thin. You’re obviously not taking care of yourself properly, so you’re just going to have to let me take care of you from now on. If you’re still feeling tired after we finish eating, I’ll take you to my apartment. I’m sure you’ll find my bed very, very cozy.”
“SEISHIROU-SAN!!!” Subaru shrieked loudly enough to cause several people at other table to turn and glare in their direction.
The Sakurazukamori chuckled softly at his expense. “Subaru-kun, you’re blushing,” he said joyfully.
Subaru began to sweat.
The man reached across the table and began to caress his cheek as if to apologize for embarrassing him, but it only made his face feel even warmer. Subaru shut his eyes tightly when the Sakurazukamori began brushing through his hair with his fingers. “Does it feel good?” he whispered directly in his ear so that no one else could hear him.
Subaru opened his eyes, but didn’t reply. The Sakurazukamori seemed to assume this meant yes and continued what he was doing.
Subaru still had no idea why the Sakurazukamori did such things with him, which was probably the reason why they always made him so nervous. In the past, it had been so easy to dismiss anything that the Sakurazukamori had said or did that he’d considered 'perverted'. All he’d had to do was tell himself: "Seishirou-san is joking," or "Seishirou-san can't love me because we're both men," and that would have been the end of it, but now... After Seishirou had kissed him in Ueno Park, he hadn't been able to convince himself that it was just a joke anymore. It was possible that the Sakurazukamori had kissed him just to make fun of him since he meant absolutely nothing to the man, but there could be another reason…
Before the incident at Ueno Park, the Sakurazukamori had never gone very far with his advances. He'd never offered him more than a gentle caress or a few seemingly kind words, and yet each time he'd always given him the opportunity to ask for more if he'd wanted it. And each time Subaru had denied him. Perhaps the Sakurazukamori's advances were a test of some kind, but what relevance could such a test have? Though the bet itself seemed pointless to him, he was sure that the Sakurazukamori wouldn't do something for no reason. If he could discover why the Sakurazukamori had made the bet with him, and what he expected to gain from it, perhaps he could end everything without hurting anyone.
If he pushed the Sakurazukamori just a little bit, maybe he could find some answers.
“S-S-Seishirou-san, p-please stop touching me like that,” were the first words that came out of his mouth when he tried to speak. He hadn’t planned on saying anything like that-he hadn’t really thought of what to say at all-but now he deeply regretted it. It was such a typical thing for him to say, something that wouldn’t provide him with anything useful. Why did he have to be such a coward when it came to these kinds of things?
“You don’t like it?” The Sakurazukamori replied predictably. He didn’t stop petting him.
“T-That’s not true, it’s just-”
“If you like it, I see no reason to stop.”
“Seishirou-san, why do you keep on doing things like this? If this is some kind of a joke, don’t you think that you’re taking it a little bit too far? It was bad enough when you and Hokuto-chan ganged up on me in the past, but then there was that kiss in Ueno Park…”
Subaru blushed wildly and turned to look at a rather uninteresting spot on the floor. Why had he said such things out loud?
The Sakurazukamori lifted his chin to force him to look up at him again. His expression might have appeared concerned if not for his eyes. The Sakurazukamori began caressing his face again with his free hand.
“Is that what’s been bothering you all this time my Subaru-kun? You still think that I don’t love you, and that all of this is just a cruel joke meant only to hurt your feelings?”
“I-”
“I apologize if what I did at Ueno Park upset you, however, it saddens me that you still refuse to believe that I love you even after what happened. Subaru-kun, I’m not going to be angry with you if you don’t share my feelings, but please don’t continue to deny their existence just because they make you feel uncomfortable. It wounds me deeply that you don’t even think that I’m even worthy of a proper refusal.”
“Seishirou-san, it’s not that I… I just-” Subaru muttered uselessly, wishing that he’d never openly questioned the Sakurazukamori on his actions in Ueno Park. He knew that the man was going to use his words against him somehow, and that now that he’d spoken his thoughts aloud, there was nothing that he could say or do to escape the consequences of his actions.
“Subaru-kun, what reason do you have to believe that I’m insincere?”
“I-I… don’t… really,” Subaru heard himself reply. He wasn’t even sure why he’d said it.
“Then promise you’ll give me a chance. I really do love you, and I want you to believe me.”
“I’ll…I’ll try.”
“Wonderful,” the man answered, smiling. Though his tone was very cheerful, the new intensity in his eyes made Subaru instantly regret his words.
Subaru stared down at the masses of people beneath him in the glowing city. At one time, he had loved Tokyo, but now his feelings were more complicated. Even in his innocence, he’d known that there was a darkness to the city. Here he’d encountered suicide, prostitution, rape, drug abuse, and murder. Before he’d been able to ignore all of these things, only ever seeing Tokyo’s pretty lights, but now that the lights had been shut off there was nothing but darkness around him.
A hand gently squeezed his shoulder. He turned to look at the murderer standing beside him.
“The view is breathtaking, isn’t it my Subaru-kun?” the man whispered softly in his ear. “Do you remember the first time that I brought you here?”
“Yes,” Subaru replied turning away from the man to look down on the city again. He felt the man grip onto his shoulders tightly, but not tightly enough to hurt.
“Do you remember what I said to you that time?” the man probed further pulling him even closer into his body.
Before Subaru could answer the question, the man continued, “I’d told you that I love you, but I’m not going to demand the same feelings from you.”
“S-Seishirou-san?”
“Do you feel like I’m forcing you into this, Subaru-kun? I know that I got a little eager before, but if you not interested-”
Suddenly, Subaru’s pager started beeping obnoxiously. The Sakurazukamori freed him from his grasp and stepped back.
Subaru fished the pager out of his pocket and sighed with relief. It was Hokuto again, informing him about some meagre job he was supposed to do. Really, his pager couldn’t have gone off at a better time. He could easily use this as an excuse to get away from the man-but if he continued to avoid him, nothing would change. And, if he didn’t change the future somehow then Hokuto would die just as Kuzuki had predicted. He couldn’t afford to waste any more time than he already had.
Reluctantly, Subaru turned off the pager without even reading the message Hokuto had written him. He wouldn’t concern himself with work until he got home, and if the job weren’t important, he wouldn’t bother with it at all.
“Who was that?” the man asked, moving towards him again.
“Hokuto-chan. It’s about another job.”
“Well, I suppose you’d better call her then.”
“I’ll do it later.”
The Sakurazukamori’s eyes widened. “What did you say?”
“I-I’m with you right now, Seishirou-san. It would be rude to abandon you just because of work.”
Suddenly, the Sakurazukamori wrapped his arms around him and pressed his lips against his own. Subaru merely froze in place, unsure of how to respond. He wasn't entirely sure why he had said the things he did a moment ago, but he hadn't thought that he would cause this kind of a reaction.
Normally, Subaru would have tried to pull away from the other man, but right now there were too many questions running through his mind:
Why was it that the Sakurazukamori did things like this with him? What kind of response did he want from him-or did he care about that at all? What did the man want from him? What had he been expecting to gain from the bet that he'd made with him seven years ago?
He remembered that in his dream the Sakurazukamori had said that he would try to love him for a year, but had he been referring to that kind of love all along?
Subaru's face became tremendously hot when Seishirou finally pulled away from him. His embarrassment towards the entire situation seemed to amuse the man greatly. He'd never seen a more genuinely looking smile on the man's face. It actually seemed to reach his eyes, but that was most likely only his imagination.
"I'm so sorry, Subaru-kun," the man said with false embarrassment. "It seems that I've lost control of myself again. I hope that you'll forgive me, but you're just too delicious to resist."
Subaru said nothing.
Seishirou must have assumed that this meant that he wasn't angry with him, so he continued:
"Well, it's getting rather late, and you do have a job. I suppose that I should take you home."
"A-Alright," Subaru whispered, hiding his face with his hat. He wasn't sure what kind of situation he had gotten himself into, but he was sure that he was going to regret it very soon.
In fact, he was beginning to regret it already.
Seishirou smiled to himself as he entered his apartment. He tossed his coat off his shoulders, letting it lie in a heap at the door. His shoes soon followed. On any other day, Seishirou would have taken the time to place his them neatly in the closet, but right then he just didn't feel like it.
It wasn't as if something were upsetting him. In fact, he was actually quite pleased with the outcome of his little game. Who would have thought that his naive, little Subaru-kun would have submitted himself to his wishes so easily?
Seishirou chuckled as he reached for the bottle of wine that he’d left on the counter before. What had ever happened to the boy’s feeble excuses? Endearing as they had been, he didn't think that he would miss them.
“Subaru-kun, what reason do you have to believe that I’m insincere?”
“I-I… don’t… really.”
“Then promise you’ll give me a chance. I really do love you, and I want you to believe me.”
“I’ll…I’ll try.”
He shouldn't have been too surprised, really. His Subaru-kun was so easy to manipulate. All he'd had to do was make the boy feel guilty, and he could have whatever he wanted from him.
“I’ll do it later. I’m with you right now, Seishirou-san. I can’t abandon you just because of work.”
His Subaru-kun was far too kind-hearted for his own good.
Seishirou poured himself a glass of wine and lit a cigarette before stepping into the living room. He didn't bother to put the bottle of wine back where he’d found it.
'It's too bad that Subaru-kun's so shy,' Seishirou though while taking his first sip of the wine. 'It might have been more interesting if he'd tried to kiss me back.'
“Subaru-kun,” Hokuto cried from the other side of the room. “Why didn’t you call me?”
“I’m sorry Hokuto-chan…” Subaru replied softly, staring down at the floor.
While it wasn’t uncommon for him to find Hokuto waiting for him in his apartment, it was rare for her to stay there for as long as she had. What exactly had she been doing while he was gone?
“I didn’t ask for an apology, I asked you for an explanation! What took you so long and why didn’t you call me?”
“I-I was … with S-Seishirou-san…” Subaru’s face became very warm as he said this. He didn’t want to remember how it’d felt when that man had been so close to him… touching him. Why had he allowed him to do it?
Hokuto’s lips turned upwards in a mischievous grin. “Subaru, you’re blushing. Did something happen?”
“W-We just had dinner and went to Tokyo Tower afterwards. I-I’m sorry. I should have called you.”
“That’s alright. Actually, I’m grateful that Sei-chan can manage to force you to do something other than work. It’s unusual for you to do things like this. You’ve never been selfish.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Subaru, It’s human to be selfish. There’s nothing for you to be ashamed of,” Hokuto whispered. She walked over towards him and wrapped her arms around him tightly. Though she was just as close to him as Seishirou had been before, he didn’t feel the least bit nervous.
“Hokuto-chan, I meant what I said before. I love you… more than anyone else. Protect yourself for me no matter what,” he said suddenly holding onto her as well. He would do anything to prevent her from being killed.
Hokuto remained silent as if she hadn’t heard him. She gently ran gloved fingers through his hair. Subaru wished that she would remove her gloves because he wanted to feel her naked skin upon his scalp, but he would have to deal with what he got. He sighed softly and rested his head on her shoulder.
Author: Tankyasue
Warning: Shounen-ai. Lime in later chapters.
Disclaimer: I don't own Tokyo Babylon, Clamp does.
Summary: Subaru discovers who Seishirou really is before the end of the bet.
Chapter 6 - Dancing in Babylon
'Why did I come here?' Subaru asked himself for what must have been the millionth time. When he'd gotten into the van with the Sakurazukamori, it had seemed like the best-and only-option. Then he'd known then that he couldn't keep avoiding the Sakurazukamori forever, but now he just wished that he could be alone with Hokuto again. Of course, like most good things, that was impossible. He had to be here to watch the Sakurazukamori, find a way to defeat him, and keep him as far away from Hokuto as possible. Otherwise, she would die, and he'd be all alone.
Still, everything had seemed so much easier before he’d been sitting beside the man, forced to endure the over-powering scents of blood and cherry blossoms that seemed to linger wherever he went. Though in a way he was grateful for the odour because otherwise he might have found himself thinking of that man as ‘Seishirou-san’ again.
"Subaru-kun," the man said suddenly, startling him. "You haven't said a word since you got in here. Are you feeling alright?"
The Sakurazukamori reached out and put his hand on his forehead. Subaru began to sweat.
"Well, you don't have a fever, but you've gotten very pale. Maybe I should-"
"I-I'm fine!" Subaru exclaimed suddenly. He knew that if he allowed the Sakurazukamori to finish, he would have suggested taking him home, and while it would be nice to get away from him, he couldn't let him near Hokuto.
"Really?" the man said with obvious disbelief. "But, you don't look well at all."
"I'm just a little tired "
"And what about this?" he asked, grabbing his hand abruptly.
"Oh that..." Subaru had completely forgotten about the wound on his hand. He could only vaguely remember being bitten by the inugami less than a half hour before. "I-It's nothing really. I wouldn't even call it a scratch."
"Nonsense!" The man scolded. "You're bleeding quite a bit, and that wound looks terrible. It could get infected if you don't do something about it-wait I think I have some disinfectant in here somewhere. I'll take care of that once we stop."
Subaru remained inert and said nothing as the Sakurazukamori continued holding onto him. It seemed that he had been touching him more than usual as of late, but perhaps he’d just hadn’t noticed it as much before.
Once they had stopped, the Sakurazukamori began searching frantically for the disinfectant. Subaru had a feeling that the man knew exactly where it was, but chose not to comment on it.
"I knew that it was here somewhere!" the Sakurazukamori exclaimed after several minutes. He waved the bottle of disinfectant in the air as if it were some kind of trophy.
“Now let me see your hand.” The man captured his hand within his own without giving him a chance to protest. Subaru reluctantly allowed the Sakurazukamori to disinfect his wound. He knew that what the man was doing was just another one of the things that he did in order to maintain his ‘kind veterinarian’ facade, and yet he couldn’t help but wonder why he bothered. Why would anyone spend so much time taking care of a person that he didn’t like just because he’d made a bet with that person several years ago?
"I hope that I'm not hurting you too much, Subaru-kun, but this will get infected if I don't do something.”
"N-No. I'm fine.”
"Well, I think that I've taken care of it, but please try to take better care of yourself from now on,” the Sakurazukamori said once he’d finally let go of him. “It would be a shame if such beautiful hands were to get scarred.”
Subaru said nothing in response.
“Anyway, I think we should get going,” the man said suddenly, moving to get out of the car. “Otherwise, Sunshine 60 is going to close before we get there.”
“This has always been one of my favourite places,” the Sakurazukamori said cheerfully as he opened the door for Subaru and motioned for him to walk through. “I’ve wanted to bring you here for awhile, but you’re always so busy.”
Subaru barely heard his words as he stepped through the doorway, aware that the Sakurazukamori was directly behind him. “I’ve booked us a table in the back so that we can have a little more privacy,” the man whispered softly in his ear. “I know how crowds make you uncomfortable, Subaru-kun.” Subaru stiffened as the man lead him by the hand towards an isolated table in a corner.
“I apologize if this place is a little too fancy for your liking. Perhaps you’re still a little too young to enjoy this sort of thing,” the man said smoothly as he motioned for Subaru to take a seat.
Subaru sat down reluctantly. He wondered why the Sakurazukamori always had to be so polite around him, even though he was so much younger than he was. Perhaps he felt obligated to do so because of the bet, but it still didn’t make any sense. Not that anything that the man did ever had.
“You don’t need to be shy around me, Subaru-kun,” the man said as he took the seat beside him. “If you really don’t like it here, we can leave at any time. I could take you to Ueno Park again if you would feel more comfortable there. I’ll even buy you ice cream.”
“N-No thank you!” Subaru exclaimed. His face became hot as he remembered what had happened the last time that he’d been to Ueno Park with the Sakurazukamori.
“Don’t worry about inconveniencing me. If you feel uncomfortable here, we’ll leave immediately.”
“I’m fine.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes.”
“Well, I guess it wouldn’t hurt to take a look at the menu first. If you find that the food is too fancy for your liking-”
“I-I’m sure that there’s something here that I’ll like,” he said hastily grabbing the menu. He scanned its contents thoroughly for several minutes, but he couldn’t find anything that he had even heard of.
“Have you decided what you would like to order?” the man said cheerfully. If he was annoyed with him for taking so much time just deciding what to eat, he didn’t show it.
“N-Not yet…” Subaru replied, scanning the menu a second time. “There just so much here.”
“Are you having difficulty making a decision?”
“Erm… w-well I guess t-that I was thinking of getting… rice and um… maybe some salad. I’m not very hungry today.”
“I’m sorry, but you can’t get rice here, and I’m not sure if you’d like any of the salads. If you want something light, I can help you find something, but I think it would do you some good if you tried to eat a little bit more. Hokuto told me that you left for work very early in the morning without having breakfast first, and I doubt that you’ve had anything for lunch either.”
“I-I’m fine. Just a little tired really…”
“Subaru-kun, you’re too thin. You’re obviously not taking care of yourself properly, so you’re just going to have to let me take care of you from now on. If you’re still feeling tired after we finish eating, I’ll take you to my apartment. I’m sure you’ll find my bed very, very cozy.”
“SEISHIROU-SAN!!!” Subaru shrieked loudly enough to cause several people at other table to turn and glare in their direction.
The Sakurazukamori chuckled softly at his expense. “Subaru-kun, you’re blushing,” he said joyfully.
Subaru began to sweat.
The man reached across the table and began to caress his cheek as if to apologize for embarrassing him, but it only made his face feel even warmer. Subaru shut his eyes tightly when the Sakurazukamori began brushing through his hair with his fingers. “Does it feel good?” he whispered directly in his ear so that no one else could hear him.
Subaru opened his eyes, but didn’t reply. The Sakurazukamori seemed to assume this meant yes and continued what he was doing.
Subaru still had no idea why the Sakurazukamori did such things with him, which was probably the reason why they always made him so nervous. In the past, it had been so easy to dismiss anything that the Sakurazukamori had said or did that he’d considered 'perverted'. All he’d had to do was tell himself: "Seishirou-san is joking," or "Seishirou-san can't love me because we're both men," and that would have been the end of it, but now... After Seishirou had kissed him in Ueno Park, he hadn't been able to convince himself that it was just a joke anymore. It was possible that the Sakurazukamori had kissed him just to make fun of him since he meant absolutely nothing to the man, but there could be another reason…
Before the incident at Ueno Park, the Sakurazukamori had never gone very far with his advances. He'd never offered him more than a gentle caress or a few seemingly kind words, and yet each time he'd always given him the opportunity to ask for more if he'd wanted it. And each time Subaru had denied him. Perhaps the Sakurazukamori's advances were a test of some kind, but what relevance could such a test have? Though the bet itself seemed pointless to him, he was sure that the Sakurazukamori wouldn't do something for no reason. If he could discover why the Sakurazukamori had made the bet with him, and what he expected to gain from it, perhaps he could end everything without hurting anyone.
If he pushed the Sakurazukamori just a little bit, maybe he could find some answers.
“S-S-Seishirou-san, p-please stop touching me like that,” were the first words that came out of his mouth when he tried to speak. He hadn’t planned on saying anything like that-he hadn’t really thought of what to say at all-but now he deeply regretted it. It was such a typical thing for him to say, something that wouldn’t provide him with anything useful. Why did he have to be such a coward when it came to these kinds of things?
“You don’t like it?” The Sakurazukamori replied predictably. He didn’t stop petting him.
“T-That’s not true, it’s just-”
“If you like it, I see no reason to stop.”
“Seishirou-san, why do you keep on doing things like this? If this is some kind of a joke, don’t you think that you’re taking it a little bit too far? It was bad enough when you and Hokuto-chan ganged up on me in the past, but then there was that kiss in Ueno Park…”
Subaru blushed wildly and turned to look at a rather uninteresting spot on the floor. Why had he said such things out loud?
The Sakurazukamori lifted his chin to force him to look up at him again. His expression might have appeared concerned if not for his eyes. The Sakurazukamori began caressing his face again with his free hand.
“Is that what’s been bothering you all this time my Subaru-kun? You still think that I don’t love you, and that all of this is just a cruel joke meant only to hurt your feelings?”
“I-”
“I apologize if what I did at Ueno Park upset you, however, it saddens me that you still refuse to believe that I love you even after what happened. Subaru-kun, I’m not going to be angry with you if you don’t share my feelings, but please don’t continue to deny their existence just because they make you feel uncomfortable. It wounds me deeply that you don’t even think that I’m even worthy of a proper refusal.”
“Seishirou-san, it’s not that I… I just-” Subaru muttered uselessly, wishing that he’d never openly questioned the Sakurazukamori on his actions in Ueno Park. He knew that the man was going to use his words against him somehow, and that now that he’d spoken his thoughts aloud, there was nothing that he could say or do to escape the consequences of his actions.
“Subaru-kun, what reason do you have to believe that I’m insincere?”
“I-I… don’t… really,” Subaru heard himself reply. He wasn’t even sure why he’d said it.
“Then promise you’ll give me a chance. I really do love you, and I want you to believe me.”
“I’ll…I’ll try.”
“Wonderful,” the man answered, smiling. Though his tone was very cheerful, the new intensity in his eyes made Subaru instantly regret his words.
Subaru stared down at the masses of people beneath him in the glowing city. At one time, he had loved Tokyo, but now his feelings were more complicated. Even in his innocence, he’d known that there was a darkness to the city. Here he’d encountered suicide, prostitution, rape, drug abuse, and murder. Before he’d been able to ignore all of these things, only ever seeing Tokyo’s pretty lights, but now that the lights had been shut off there was nothing but darkness around him.
A hand gently squeezed his shoulder. He turned to look at the murderer standing beside him.
“The view is breathtaking, isn’t it my Subaru-kun?” the man whispered softly in his ear. “Do you remember the first time that I brought you here?”
“Yes,” Subaru replied turning away from the man to look down on the city again. He felt the man grip onto his shoulders tightly, but not tightly enough to hurt.
“Do you remember what I said to you that time?” the man probed further pulling him even closer into his body.
Before Subaru could answer the question, the man continued, “I’d told you that I love you, but I’m not going to demand the same feelings from you.”
“S-Seishirou-san?”
“Do you feel like I’m forcing you into this, Subaru-kun? I know that I got a little eager before, but if you not interested-”
Suddenly, Subaru’s pager started beeping obnoxiously. The Sakurazukamori freed him from his grasp and stepped back.
Subaru fished the pager out of his pocket and sighed with relief. It was Hokuto again, informing him about some meagre job he was supposed to do. Really, his pager couldn’t have gone off at a better time. He could easily use this as an excuse to get away from the man-but if he continued to avoid him, nothing would change. And, if he didn’t change the future somehow then Hokuto would die just as Kuzuki had predicted. He couldn’t afford to waste any more time than he already had.
Reluctantly, Subaru turned off the pager without even reading the message Hokuto had written him. He wouldn’t concern himself with work until he got home, and if the job weren’t important, he wouldn’t bother with it at all.
“Who was that?” the man asked, moving towards him again.
“Hokuto-chan. It’s about another job.”
“Well, I suppose you’d better call her then.”
“I’ll do it later.”
The Sakurazukamori’s eyes widened. “What did you say?”
“I-I’m with you right now, Seishirou-san. It would be rude to abandon you just because of work.”
Suddenly, the Sakurazukamori wrapped his arms around him and pressed his lips against his own. Subaru merely froze in place, unsure of how to respond. He wasn't entirely sure why he had said the things he did a moment ago, but he hadn't thought that he would cause this kind of a reaction.
Normally, Subaru would have tried to pull away from the other man, but right now there were too many questions running through his mind:
Why was it that the Sakurazukamori did things like this with him? What kind of response did he want from him-or did he care about that at all? What did the man want from him? What had he been expecting to gain from the bet that he'd made with him seven years ago?
He remembered that in his dream the Sakurazukamori had said that he would try to love him for a year, but had he been referring to that kind of love all along?
Subaru's face became tremendously hot when Seishirou finally pulled away from him. His embarrassment towards the entire situation seemed to amuse the man greatly. He'd never seen a more genuinely looking smile on the man's face. It actually seemed to reach his eyes, but that was most likely only his imagination.
"I'm so sorry, Subaru-kun," the man said with false embarrassment. "It seems that I've lost control of myself again. I hope that you'll forgive me, but you're just too delicious to resist."
Subaru said nothing.
Seishirou must have assumed that this meant that he wasn't angry with him, so he continued:
"Well, it's getting rather late, and you do have a job. I suppose that I should take you home."
"A-Alright," Subaru whispered, hiding his face with his hat. He wasn't sure what kind of situation he had gotten himself into, but he was sure that he was going to regret it very soon.
In fact, he was beginning to regret it already.
Seishirou smiled to himself as he entered his apartment. He tossed his coat off his shoulders, letting it lie in a heap at the door. His shoes soon followed. On any other day, Seishirou would have taken the time to place his them neatly in the closet, but right then he just didn't feel like it.
It wasn't as if something were upsetting him. In fact, he was actually quite pleased with the outcome of his little game. Who would have thought that his naive, little Subaru-kun would have submitted himself to his wishes so easily?
Seishirou chuckled as he reached for the bottle of wine that he’d left on the counter before. What had ever happened to the boy’s feeble excuses? Endearing as they had been, he didn't think that he would miss them.
“Subaru-kun, what reason do you have to believe that I’m insincere?”
“I-I… don’t… really.”
“Then promise you’ll give me a chance. I really do love you, and I want you to believe me.”
“I’ll…I’ll try.”
He shouldn't have been too surprised, really. His Subaru-kun was so easy to manipulate. All he'd had to do was make the boy feel guilty, and he could have whatever he wanted from him.
“I’ll do it later. I’m with you right now, Seishirou-san. I can’t abandon you just because of work.”
His Subaru-kun was far too kind-hearted for his own good.
Seishirou poured himself a glass of wine and lit a cigarette before stepping into the living room. He didn't bother to put the bottle of wine back where he’d found it.
'It's too bad that Subaru-kun's so shy,' Seishirou though while taking his first sip of the wine. 'It might have been more interesting if he'd tried to kiss me back.'
“Subaru-kun,” Hokuto cried from the other side of the room. “Why didn’t you call me?”
“I’m sorry Hokuto-chan…” Subaru replied softly, staring down at the floor.
While it wasn’t uncommon for him to find Hokuto waiting for him in his apartment, it was rare for her to stay there for as long as she had. What exactly had she been doing while he was gone?
“I didn’t ask for an apology, I asked you for an explanation! What took you so long and why didn’t you call me?”
“I-I was … with S-Seishirou-san…” Subaru’s face became very warm as he said this. He didn’t want to remember how it’d felt when that man had been so close to him… touching him. Why had he allowed him to do it?
Hokuto’s lips turned upwards in a mischievous grin. “Subaru, you’re blushing. Did something happen?”
“W-We just had dinner and went to Tokyo Tower afterwards. I-I’m sorry. I should have called you.”
“That’s alright. Actually, I’m grateful that Sei-chan can manage to force you to do something other than work. It’s unusual for you to do things like this. You’ve never been selfish.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Subaru, It’s human to be selfish. There’s nothing for you to be ashamed of,” Hokuto whispered. She walked over towards him and wrapped her arms around him tightly. Though she was just as close to him as Seishirou had been before, he didn’t feel the least bit nervous.
“Hokuto-chan, I meant what I said before. I love you… more than anyone else. Protect yourself for me no matter what,” he said suddenly holding onto her as well. He would do anything to prevent her from being killed.
Hokuto remained silent as if she hadn’t heard him. She gently ran gloved fingers through his hair. Subaru wished that she would remove her gloves because he wanted to feel her naked skin upon his scalp, but he would have to deal with what he got. He sighed softly and rested his head on her shoulder.