Tainted Purity - Chapter 10

[tankyasue]

Title: Tainted Purity
Author: Tankyasue
Warning: Shounen-ai. Lime in later chapters.
Disclaimer: I don't own Tokyo Babylon, Clamp does.
Summary: Subaru discovers who Seishirou really is before the end of the bet.


Chapter 10 - Blue Desert

It shouldn’t have felt odd for him to wake up alone. He hadn’t slept with anyone since he killed
his mother seven years ago. And yet, he couldn’t help but feel that there should have been
someone lying next to him. Subconsciously, he touched the pillow beside his own. It felt warm
beneath the tips of his fingers, as if someone had been lying next to him only a few hours ago,
but he was sure that he’d only imagined it. It must have been because of that ludicrous dream.

He could almost remember taking the innocent, little boy home with him, and leading him into
his bed. He was almost certain that he’d felt the warmth of his naked flesh, and the palpitation of
his heart. He almost believed that he’d heard his poignant cries as he’d taken him. But, it had
been the boy’s eyes that had truly added to the verisimilitude of the dream. They had appeared so
dull that they seemed to be made of glass - so different than Subaru’s vibrant, expressive eyes -
and yet it was impossible to deny that they were his.

Seishirou began laughing out loud suddenly. To think that his naive, impossibly modest Subaru-
kun would have ever allowed him to go so far! Those fleeting brushings of their lips that couldn’t
even be called kisses had always made the boy cringe. He doubted that Subaru would even
remain conscious if he were to attempt any more than that.

Delicately, Seishirou ran his fingers over the pillow next to his. It had gradually become cooler
and cooler, until there was no warmth left at all. For a moment, Seishirou was almost convinced
that it really had been nothing more than a pleasant dream, but then he noticed a single hair lying
on top of the pillow. It was black, almost the same shade as his own hair. If it wasn’t for the
length, Seishirou might have assumed that it was really his.

Seishirou got out of bed quickly. His sheets were stained with the boy’s essence and blood.

‘So it wasn’t a dream,’ Seishirou thought to himself, chuckling softly. But where had his little
concubine run off to? If he was anywhere in his apartment, he would have heard him, so he must
have returned to his own apartment while he was still asleep.

He couldn’t be completely certain why Subaru had decided to leave so early - a quick glance at
his clock told him that it was only 5:30 - but he suspected that the boy was upset about what had
transpired between them. Really, the boy wasted so much time beating himself up over the most
insignificant things...

Still, wouldn’t be a bad idea to check on the boy. He wasn’t sure how badly his actions had
wounded his little toy. Most likely, he would be forced to erase last night from Subaru’s
memories, but if he could alleviate his mood just by talking with him, perhaps they could repeat
last night in the future.

Seishirou smiled licentiously as he summoned his shikigami with the thought of the boy moaning
etched deeply within his mind. It didn’t take long for his shikigami to reach the window outside
the boy’s bedroom. The curtains had been graciously left opened for once, allowing him to view
the beautiful, thin figure weeping on the mattress within. But, the figure wasn’t Subaru-kun. For
some reason, Hokuto had decided to lie in his bed.

Subaru didn’t seem to be anywhere near his apartment, but he could feel the energy off in the
distance. After several minutes, he found the boy standing on Rainbow Bridge.

Seishirou cursed softly underneath his breath, wondering why Subaru would have gone so far on
his own so early in the day. He quickly pulled on a shirt that had been hanging off the back of a
chair before grabbing a pair of pants off the floor. It took him a little longer to find his shoes,
which had been left in the bedroom rather than beside the doorway, but he managed to get to his
car less than five minutes later.

Seishirou had never understood why so many people claimed that Rainbow Bridge appeared
'magnificent' or 'beautiful'. To him, it had always seemed just as bland as any other part of Tokyo.
Until that moment, he'd never looked at it long enough to realize just how fragile the bridge was.
No matter how hard it tried to hold itself up above the charcoal water beneath it, eventually it
would fall, taking thousands of human lives with it. The crimson light of the rising sun seemed to
paint the bridge with blood, giving the impression that the earth longed for the day when the
bridge would fall.

Seishirou began to walk more quickly through the masses surrounding him, without bothering to
apologize to anyone stupid enough not to get out of his way. He could barely see Subaru amongst
the flock of tourists, but even if he couldn’t have seen him, he still would have known where he
was. His shikigami had already spotted him standing on the walkway on the north side of the
bridge. Though he had a perfect view of Tokyo Tower from where he was standing, the boy
didn’t seem to be looking at it. Instead he was staring down into Tokyo Bay along with the
anxious salarymen all around him.

Seishirou approached Subaru a little more quickly than he had intended, and seized him firmly by
the shoulder. He had expected the boy to yelp in surprise and turn to face him, but he only
continued to stare down into the water as if he didn’t even know that he was there. Seishirou
sighed and glanced downwards as well, hoping to determine why Subaru seemed to find Tokyo
Bay so fascinating.

There was something odd about how dark the water appeared even so early in the day. It almost
looked like ink rather than water. The waves thrashed violently against the towers supporting the
bridge as if they were trying to break them.

“Subaru-kun, I don’t know why you decided to come here, but we’re leaving right now!”
Seishirou said as he twisted Subaru around by the shoulder so that the boy was facing him.

“S-Seishirou-san, what are you doing here?” Subaru asked in a voice that was almost too high
pitched to be comprehensible. His cheeks had turned a rather interesting shade of pink.

Seishirou grabbed the boy’s wrist and pulled him towards him. He had expected to feel the rough
leather barriers that had always encased Subaru’s skin, but instead he came in contact with
something wonderfully soft. It took a moment for him to realize that he was actually touching
Subaru’s naked hand.

Subaru tried to pull out of his grasp, but his efforts were unsuccessful. Seishirou pulled Subaru’s
hand towards his face and pressed it against his cheek. His hand was marvelously soft, void of
any of the calluses that would have been caused from external exposure.

It was also terribly cold. Almost like the hand of a corpse.

The coldness reminded Seishirou of the inky water thrashing violently below them. The thought
unnerved him, especially now that he was awake enough to realize that there was no wind. Not
even a light breeze.

“You’re far too cold,” Seishirou murmured, loosening his hold on the boy’s hand. “You’ve
probably gotten sick from being out here for too long. Come on, Subaru-kun. I’ll take you back
to my apartment, and make you some tea.”

Seishirou expected Subaru to just nod dumbly, and allow him to carry him away, but instead he
pulled away from him and shook his head.

“Why won’t you come with me? Why did you even come here in the first place?” Seishirou
asked, trying very hard to maintain a concerned tone that would sound appropriate coming from
the kind-hearted veterinarian. He stepped closer towards the boy, but he only moved back further
until his back was pressed against the edge of the railing - the only thing that would have
prevented Subaru from falling into Tokyo Bay.

“Subaru-kun! What are you doing?” Seishirou asked, genuinely concerned.

Subaru said nothing and smiled at him. It wasn’t his familiar, sweet, innocent smile, but an
insane smile that appeared alien when placed on the boy’s gentle features. Seishirou couldn’t
help but think that it made the boy appear more like his sister than himself.

“Why do you think that I would come here? Shouldn’t you be able to figure that out on your own
after everything that you’ve done to me?” Subaru asked softly. His voice was eerily calm.

“I never forced you. If you’d only said that you hadn’t wanted it, then I-”

“That’s not what I’m talking about! I know you, Sakurazukamori! I remember!” Subaru cried out
with an uncharacteristic pride that made his voice sound more like Hokuto’s than his own.

‘How could he have known?’ Seishirou thought, far too stunned to noticed Subaru leaping off the
bridge.

It only took a moment for Seishirou to regain his wits, but by then it was already too late for him
to grab the boy. Seishirou whispered a quick spell under his breath to mask the scene from prying
eyes. Things were already complicated enough as it was. Then he summoned his shikigami, and
chanted a longer, slightly more complicated spell, causing it to increase dramatically in size. By
the time it had reached the boy, it was already larger than he was.

Seishirou was only a little surprised that Subaru didn’t attempt to use magic to escape him. He
doubted that the boy could think rationally enough to use it right then. Subaru cried out when the
shikigami dug its claws into his shoulder, but Seishirou felt no sympathy for him. Subaru
deserved to suffer a little for causing him so much grief. He would have to do away with many of
his patients just to rebound the sakanagi.

Despite the Subaru’s struggles, his shikigami managed to fly the boy back to him easily. It
dropped him into his arms abruptly before dissolving into the air. For a moment, Subaru simply
appeared confused and distressed, as if he couldn’t fathom what he was doing there. Even if he
were to try to question him, he doubted that the boy would be able to explain why he had done
what he did.

In a few seconds, Subaru began thrashing about violently in his arms. Seishirou sighed loudly,
and cast a quick sleeping spell on him. It was hard to believe that he was usually so quiet and
obedient.

Seishirou silently carried Subaru to his car. He didn’t remove the illusion surrounding them until
the boy was safely inside. Then he sighed for a second time that morning, and drove away,
wishing that he had some aspirin.

Seishirou observed the boy sprawled out on the couch in front of him as he finished off the last of
his wine. On any other morning, Subaru would have looked adorable with his hair tousled from
sleep, and such a peaceful smile on his face, but Seishirou couldn’t forget about what the boy had
tried to do only a few hours before.

It was difficult to believe that his Subaru would have attempted such a thing, no matter the
reason. The boy had always been unfeasibly selfless and kind-hearted. Why hadn’t he thought
about how his suicide would have affected others? His dear sister and his grandmother would
have been tremendously upset, and the entire Sumeragi Clan would have been placed in a highly
precarious position.

Perhaps the boy’s self esteem was so low that he couldn’t see how his death could touch upon
others’ lives. It had been obvious right from the beginning that Subaru-kun had almost no regard
for himself at all. He’d never cared about his own well being enough to eat unless someone else
forced him to, and he’d regularly worked himself to the point of sickness and exhaustion for the
sake of others. Maybe attempting suicide wasn’t quite as uncharacteristic as it had initially
seemed. Subaru-kun had just taken yet another step on the path towards his own destruction.

Seishirou placed his empty wine glass on the coffee table before he took his last pack of Mild
Seven out of his breast pocket. Normally, he wouldn’t have smoked in the boy’s presence, but he
didn’t want to leave the room right then. Subaru couldn’t be left unsupervised after what had
happened.

He still wasn’t sure how Subaru could remember what had occurred during their first meeting,
but it was possible that he had known about the bet for quite some time. On the day when Subaru
had lied to him about being too busy to spend time with him, he’d noticed that the boy had
seemed more fearful around him than he normally was.

Since then, Subaru had never seemed to trust him entirely, no matter how close he allowed him
to get to him.

But, why would the head of the Sumeragi willingly agree to be the Sakurazukamori’s lover?
Wouldn’t it have made more sense for Subaru to attempt to destroy him instead?

Maybe the knowledge of what he really was had been too much for naïve, little Subaru to handle,
and it had eventually caused the boy to go mad.

It was possible that he could fix Subaru by erasing some of his memories and starting anew, but
if he didn’t even know how the boy had found out about the bet in the first place, he couldn’t
guarantee that he wouldn’t find out everything all over again.

The only solution was to do away with him.

Seishirou placed the cigarette he’d been smoking in the empty wine glass on the coffee table as
he approached the sleeping boy. For some reason, he had almost expected Subaru’s eyes to open
once he got too close to him, and felt oddly disappointed when they didn’t. Even when he
wrapped his hands around the boy’s throat, his eyes still wouldn’t open.

It certainly would be boring to kill you in your sleep like this, Subaru-kun. I want you to
watch me as you die, so that you will know that I and only I am the one who has the right to end
your life.

Seishirou waited for Subaru’s eyes to open as he released him from the sleeping spell that he’d
placed on him earlier, but his eyes stubbornly remained closed. The boy almost looked like he
was dead rather than asleep. Only the slight rise and fall of his chest as he breathed, and the weak
pulse beneath his fingers proved otherwise.

Despite this, Seishirou was certain that the boy was aware of what he was doing to him, but even
as his hand tightened around his throat, the boy would do nothing to try to save his own life.

Finally, Seishirou loosened his grip, and the boy began breathing normally again. Then
Subaru-kun’s eyes opened at last.

“Why didn’t you kill me, Seishirou-san?” Subaru asked him when he was finally able to speak.
“It’ll be boring for you now… now that I know about the game that you’ve been playing with me
all this time.”

“One year hasn’t passed yet, Subaru-kun. Why do you think that I’d kill you before then? That
would go against the rules.”

Subaru’s eyes widened slightly at his words, but he didn’t comment. Then he lowered his eyes
and turned his head to the side so he was looking away from him.

It was strange that the boy would become upset because he was not going to kill him.

Seishirou removed his hand from the boy’s throat and forced him to look at him again. He was
only a little surprised to see that there were tears spilling down his cheeks.

“Do you really think that I would kill you just because you’ve suddenly become so eager to die?
You’re mine, Subaru-kun. You’ve been mine since I first laid eyes on you. You will die only
when I want you to.”

“Then… I guess I’ll just have to wait until the end of the bet,” Subaru whispered softly to
himself. He sounded almost hopeful, like a child waiting for Christmas.

None of Seishirou’s victims had ever been like that. Even those who had thought that they
wanted to die had cried and begged and screamed in the end, but Subaru had done nothing when
he thought that he was going to kill him.

The boy really was insane.

“You know,” Seishirou said mockingly. “There’s still a chance that I might not kill you at the end
of the bet. Why are you so certain that you’ll die?”

“You’re the Sakurazukamori. You feel nothing for other people. To you, tearing my heart out
from my chest and crushing it in your hand would be no different than breaking a glass cup.
You’ll never love anyone.”

“Perhaps, but it’s boring to kill someone who won’t even fight to save his own life. There’s a
chance that I could find something more entertaining to do with you once our bet ends.”

Subaru didn’t respond to this, but the fresh tears forming in his eyes made it clear that he was
clear that he was unhappy.

Seishirou harshly wiped away the boy’s tears, but it only seemed to make him cry harder.

“You’ve been a very naughty boy, Subaru-kun. It’s silly of you to think that I’d give you what
you desire after pulling a stunt like that. If anything I should punish you, but I might decide to be
more lenient if you tell me how you know about what happened between us on the first time we
met.”

Subaru paled at his words, but it was obvious that he wasn’t going to give him a reply.

"So, you aren't going to tell me anything. Even though I'm asking for so little," Seishirou said in a
calm, nearly monotonous voice as he gripped Subaru's arm painfully. "If you’re aware that I'm
the Sakurazukamori, then you should have an idea of how just easily I could hurt you. If I wanted
to, I could break your arm as effortlessly as I could snap a twig from a tree."

“I don’t care if you break my arm, Sakurazukamori,” the boy replied in an uncharacteristically
cynical tone that made his voice sound far too much like his sister’s for his liking. “If I really am
‘yours’ you can do whatever you like with me… I don’t care. A doll wouldn’t care if you tore off
its limbs and ripped out its eyes. Besides, you can’t do anything more cruel to me than you
already have…”

“You make it sound as if it’s my fault that you’ve suddenly begun to long for death, but in truth
you’ve always been this way. You continually allow yourself to get hurt, not because you’re
afraid of hurting others, but because you enjoy causing yourself pain. You never consider how
much you hurt the people that care about you as they watch you needlessly destroy yourself again
and again!

“You know, you really are terribly selfish, aren't you, Subaru-kun? Placing your own masochistic
pleasure above everyone else. "

Subaru flinched, but before he could say anything to defend himself, Seishirou continued:

"Your beloved sister... do you really care about her at all? Hokuto-chan was crying when I took
you away, but you did not even attempt to escape from me."

“I-”

"And, when you pulled that little stunt earlier, you did not even consider how anyone else would
feel if you died. Selfish!"

"T-That's not true! I do care about-"

"Really?" Seishirou nearly shouted without being aware of it. "I find that especially difficult to
believe! I doubt that you would care if I were to do away with your ‘precious’ Hokuto-chan in
your place at the end of the bet. I've been getting rather tired of her recently anyways-"

"NO! YOU CAN'T!" Subaru cried out, latching onto Seishirou’s arm suddenly. “Please don't kill
her. Kill me instead."

"Idiot! I already told you that I'm not interested in killing you anymore. You wouldn't do anything
to try to stop me if I were to kill you right now, but Hokuto-chan would fight to save her life,
which would only make it so much more enjoyable to forcibly take it from her."

"PLEASE DON'T KILL HER! PLEASE DON'T" Subaru repeated deliriously over, and over
again, without realizing just how much he was annoying him.

Seishirou grabbed the boy by the hair and pulled his face upwards, forcing him to look directly
into his eyes. "What would you do to spare her life?" he whispered callously, as he gently
caressed the boy’s throat.

"I-I'd do anything!" Subaru squeaked, deliciously frightened for the first time.

"Anything? Really? I’m sure there are some things I can think of that you wouldn’t want to do.”

"No, I-I really will do anything. I promise. Just please leave Hokuto-chan alone."

“Then tell me how you know about the bet that we made seven years ago under the cherry
blossom trees in Ueno Park?”

“I saw what happened in a dream. I didn’t want to believe it at first, but when I found the
puppy… when I saw how it was killed… I knew that it-that it had to be you. You’ve never
hidden the fact that you’re knowledgeable in onmyojitsu… you even used it in front of me…
sakanagi… you’ve been using the animals in your clinic for sakanagi, haven’t you? No simple
veterinarian would do that.”

“It seems that I’ve misjudged you, Subaru-kun. You’re much more intelligent than I had
perceived you to be. To figure all that out on your own.” Seishirou replied slowly, looking
directly into the boy’s eyes. Though there was some truth in what the boy had told him, it was
obvious that there was something that he wasn’t telling him. Why would Subaru have a dream
about their first meeting? The boy was powerful, so it was possible that he could have managed
to overcome the spell that he’d placed upon his memories on his own, but that didn’t seem to be
the case. If he’d known about what happened between them before, why would he have behaved
the way he had?

Seishirou sighed loudly.

“I suppose you must also be much more powerful than I’d thought, as well… overcoming that
memory spell all by yourself,” Seishirou said, smiling nonchalantly. He had hoped that the boy
would have provided him with a little more information, but instead he remained silent, staring
him more fearfully than before.

Finally, he asked in a soft voice, “You-you aren’t going to kill Hokuto-chan, are you?”

“Not if you’re obedient… though I don’t understand why you’d go through so much trouble for
her.”

“W-What are you going to do with me now? Since you said that you’re not going to kill me…
even though there isn’t anything else that you could do with me…” Subaru inquired more loudly
than before. He sounded terrified, and much younger than he really was.

For some reason, Seishirou was reminded of when he’d taken the boy not so long ago, and the
thought made his pants feel more than a little bit tighter. The tears that stained the boy’s cheeks
were beginning to look delicious.

Seishirou allowed himself to give into temptation, and licked away the wonderfully salty tears
with his tongue, however he quickly discovered that Subaru’s skin was even more delectable
than his tears and began coving his face with soft kisses.

Then Subaru whimpered.

Seishirou pulled away, feeling irritated, without really knowing why except that it had to be
Subaru’s fault. He knew that he shouldn’t care about what the boy wanted. He belonged to him,
so he should be able to taste him whenever he desired.

“I think that I’ll keep you for myself from now on,” Seishirou said suddenly, startling the boy
with his words. “I certainly enjoyed what we did last night together, and I’d like to do it again.”

Without warning, Seishirou lifted the boy into his arms and took him towards his bedroom as he
had the previous night.