Detour > New zodiac sign Brouhaha
...I got the news first from Winnie (who I taught was joking),
but when I see it reach Asia, it turned out to be true.
And now I'm too pissed distracted to continue Leo's assignment due Monday D<
WARNING: Contains Mostly amusing, half-witted and plain bollocks meant as a jab at the "new" zodiac sign.
-------------------------------
Turns out, some half-assed idiot of a whackjob professor by the name Parke Kunkle, who holes up somewhere in sleepy Minnesota,
decided to shock the entire world with his "discovery" based on some 2000YO ancient dust.
http://www.nowpublic.com/world/why-did-zodiac-signs-change-2011-horoscope-changes-explained-2747596.html
And with his new calculations, my Dec 8 makes me a Ophiuchus (GOD I MISSPELLED THAT TWICE ALREADY DX)
http://www.nowpublic.com/strange/what-my-new-zodiac-sign-list-new-astrological-dates-2011-2747545.html
A wHUT?
Elephant dong? (courtesy of Anisa)
Opium pisces? (courtesy of Talissa)
Why can't they bloody name it something much more simpler like, maybe 3 syllables like Leo?
Whut whut whut whut whut X----X
I tend to pronounce it as O-phe-o-cus >>> Ofiocus.
YOU KNOW WHAT LET'S JUST CALL IT OCTOPUS FOR SIMPLICITY'S SAKE!
BOLOLOLOLOLOL
So 'kay, since the earth wobbled (DOESN'T IT WOBBLE EVERY CENTURY ANYWAY???),
now we've got the 13th sign (OH it's designated 13, a supposedly cursed number too)
called Ophiuchus / OCTOPUS,
everyone born between Nov 29 and Dec becomes the wielder of a caduceus (WELL I'M NO DOCTOR, I'D RATHER KILL PEOPLE LIKE IN LEFT4DEAD - besides, I can't stand needles. And operating rooms. Gimme Hermes's staff ANYDAY.)
and everyone else gets bumped up @ people who's Capricorn now becomes Sagittarius (WHUT o__O;;)
http://www.nowpublic.com/style/ophiuchus-personality-traits-13th-zodiac-sign-2747550.html
http://the-red-thread.net/ophiuchus2.html
Apparently, the traits of people who are eight-legged-freaks under the new sign are as follows:
> interpreter of dreams, vivid premonitions,
HIT because my dreams often carry a potent double-meaning message (like, if I dream bad stuff, good things happen, and when I dream good things, BATSHIT happens). In terms of vivid, Sparda says it all.
> attracts good luck and fruitful blessings,
HIT AND MISS If I attract good luck, why'd I always get shot by the old man over the nothing I've done? =o=;
> serpent holder, lofty ideals,
HIT because yet I 'fess, I'm ambitious. And a goddamn perfectionist, too. Which makes me sometimes hate myself if I cannot achieve what I want.
> a seeker of peace and harmony,
HIT AND MISS Hit because I like my peace in the house (means no shouting sessions wherever possible), but miss at times too because I've a destructive ego --- that just, what, recently threatened my life and sanity?
> doctor of medicine or science, natural-pathic,
MISS by a good mile. I HAD thought of taking genetic engineering (after studying Biology in high school) but my drawing hobby drew me literally onto another path altogether --- and I'm answering my calling.
> adds, increases, joins, or gathers together
HIT AND MISS 'coz while I like to add stuff together, I tend to overcomplicate matters. LESS IS MOAR.
> poetical, inventive nature, expanding qualities,
HIT. Self-explanatory.
> seeks higher education and wisdom,
HIT.Because after painstakingly getting a 1st Class Honours Bachelor Degree, here I am back in dinky ol'TOA to take my Double Diploma. Go figure.
> overseer, supervisor of work,
HIT AND MISS because I USED to like overseeing things when I hold the prefect post in junior high.
THEN I started hating it, because being overseer = NO LIFE
So now I rather be the one working in the background, slowly sowing my seeds of mischief and watch the white wind make it flower and bloom furiously...like orchestrating reality. Now, that's what I called LIFE.
> fame - either grand, or completely misunderstood,
HIT or should I say, DOUBLE STRIKE!!! My grand illusory fame tends to delude me anyway.
> longevity, aspirations of healing the ills of man,
HIT AND MISS HIT for the longevity part, MISS for the healing of mankind. Mankind can fend for themselves, SELF-PRESERVATION FIRST RIIIIITE
> architect, builder, reaches for the stars, figuratively and literally,
HIT I'm the architect of your dreams (*nods to Inception)
and I'm the builder of the realm (*nods to Nix's Kingdom's creator)
and I definitely want to reach for the stars!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EV6E13xODyA
*sings FLLLYYY me to the moon, and Let me Play among the Staaaars~~
> tax assessor, or levys taxes,
MISS, by like, a few centuries. I wouldn't mind being a tax collector in the past (BECAUSE I GET TO BEHEAD HEADS! OFF WITH THEIR HEADS!!!), but now....Nah. Too much work.
> astrological talents, intuitive,
HIT. My heart rules my head, and my head rules my limbs, but my guts rule Everything >D
> large family indicated, but apt to be separated from them when young,
MISS it by a good light year, man. Bullshittery in its finest.
> the number twelve holds great significance,
DOUBLE MISS because I thought you said the sign is #13? SHAME ON YOU.
> foresight and good fortune to benefit from hard times,
HIT AND MISS Foresight yes, good fortune not really. My fortune tends to get stuck in transit somewhere before reaching me -- and by the time it reached me, it wasn't fortunate anymore.
> has secret enemies in family or close associations,
HIT. Keep your friends close, keep your enemies with one 10ft-pole in between --- and a webcam on the other end to watch whatever they're up to. OR to make it even more simpler, Facebook.
> many jealous of this subject,
MISS. Who wants to be jealous of me? I think it's more that I'm Jealous (a bit) of others --- y'know, people with BF/GF, who strikes the lottery on a weekly basis, who owns a demon butler called Sebastian who can get him/her the sun, moon, sky and stars if he/she so wishes it, etc. The list is bloody endless.
> notable father, apple of father's eye when young,
HIT coz when I was much younger, the old man treated me much nicer. But as I get older, like my brother, we get subjected to all the crazy batshit verbal abuses.
> high position in life expected [depending on aspects] highest fame and legend comes after death
HIT and probably a JACKPOT in 10 years' time. Provided I remember this entry.
> feelings of granular, wise, genius mentality,
TRIPLE HIT!!! I'm the insane mastermind, wording this crazy text for you for your humour and (mostly) for my amusement.
> likes to wear clothing of vibrant colors, and plaids in particular,
HIT AND MISS HIT because I like the colours Red, Black, White and Purple, in that order.
But PLAIDS!?!? Where the HELL did that come from? DDD<
> receives the favor of those in authority.
MISS If I do, I wouldn't be in Malaysia anymore. I'll probably be lounging away in one of the Queen's rooms in Buckingham Palace, or hole up in Downing Street, or better, back in the mead halls drinkin' like nobody's business. WHAT?
TOTAL DAMAGE: 11 HITS and 13 MISS (including the Hit and Miss).
That pretty much even out each other, and so since it cancel each other,
this load of "facts" about the traits of the 13th sign known simply as the Octopus is declared
VOID and NONSENSICAL! >DDD
And according to the sites above,
I'm the, wow, SERPENT HOLDER (PHEAR ME WORLD, IM DA DADDY OF JORMUNGAND BOLOLOLOLOL)
But of course, those sites are just as bull as every other new NEWS on this,
so, when some peeps started clarifying,
THIS ONLY WORKS FOR PEOPLE BORN YEAR 2009 and AFTER
That makes my niece (born just last year) a bloody two-fish (Pisces).
No longer the proud Aries that Hogzilla is so fond of.
Which is not what Hogzilla had in mind, coz he'd timed the birth to fit into the same sign as his.
(coz Hogzilla's an Aries. That stubborn old goat.)
But, y'know, in 15 minutes,
I'd watched people bicker and debate,
as more chaos and confusion spreads
over ONE BS announcement by a half-crack.
WOW! WHAT A NEW WAY TO WRECK HAVOC ON THE WORLD!!!
Yanno Mr.Kunkle? I woulda say JOB WELL DONE for creating confusion among the masses, but
YOU'RE A LOUSY LIAR
and an even more worthless showman.
Your tricks, SUXORS TO THE MAXXOR, man.
so Get Lost. Off the world stage. Please, take the exit on your left,
AND DON'T. COME. BACK.
http://www.ibtimes.com/articles/101392/20110115/ophiuchus-an-old-hoax-zodiac-sign-13th-kunkle-astrology-astronomers-astrologers-tropical-zodiac-side.htm
Coz humans aren't as DUMB as you think, 'kay.
Google and the Internet is the new world GOD, and NOTHING escapes them >D
Mr.Octopus or rather, Ophiuchus (some smartass have started labelling him as Ophiuchan! SO KIUT, Ophiu-chan!)
You can just stay there off the radar in the sky.
Zeus just wants to decorate the top part of his realm with something shiny and full of concept and
bursting with life and history and OOH at least owns some legacy/origin with mankind (your man, Asclepius)
So thanks for existing anyway, sorry for the unwanted spotlight on ye,
Please don't play so rough with Jorgie,
and auf wiedersehen, cheers, have a nice day, fare thee well, and
Jubileus the Creator shall grace you! Screw Balder, he likes to harp this line
AAAANYWAY, BYE, Ophiu-chan~
Your overnight-shot-to-fame / TIME OF GLORY is over.
And I, as the Trickster God, couldn't care less >DDD
--------------
So I guess that's the end of this whole grand mess,
And my hour is up.
Time to bottle this cacklin' spirit of mischief-making for another good round another day,
And so, good nite.
Hope this has been a merry read XDDD
-L
but when I see it reach Asia, it turned out to be true.
And now I'm too pissed distracted to continue Leo's assignment due Monday D<
WARNING: Contains Mostly amusing, half-witted and plain bollocks meant as a jab at the "new" zodiac sign.
-------------------------------
Turns out, some half-assed idiot of a whackjob professor by the name Parke Kunkle, who holes up somewhere in sleepy Minnesota,
decided to shock the entire world with his "discovery" based on some 2000YO ancient dust.
http://www.nowpublic.com/world/why-did-zodiac-signs-change-2011-horoscope-changes-explained-2747596.html
And with his new calculations, my Dec 8 makes me a Ophiuchus (GOD I MISSPELLED THAT TWICE ALREADY DX)
http://www.nowpublic.com/strange/what-my-new-zodiac-sign-list-new-astrological-dates-2011-2747545.html
A wHUT?
Elephant dong? (courtesy of Anisa)
Opium pisces? (courtesy of Talissa)
Why can't they bloody name it something much more simpler like, maybe 3 syllables like Leo?
Whut whut whut whut whut X----X
I tend to pronounce it as O-phe-o-cus >>> Ofiocus.
YOU KNOW WHAT LET'S JUST CALL IT OCTOPUS FOR SIMPLICITY'S SAKE!
BOLOLOLOLOLOL
So 'kay, since the earth wobbled (DOESN'T IT WOBBLE EVERY CENTURY ANYWAY???),
now we've got the 13th sign (OH it's designated 13, a supposedly cursed number too)
called Ophiuchus / OCTOPUS,
everyone born between Nov 29 and Dec becomes the wielder of a caduceus (WELL I'M NO DOCTOR, I'D RATHER KILL PEOPLE LIKE IN LEFT4DEAD - besides, I can't stand needles. And operating rooms. Gimme Hermes's staff ANYDAY.)
and everyone else gets bumped up @ people who's Capricorn now becomes Sagittarius (WHUT o__O;;)
http://www.nowpublic.com/style/ophiuchus-personality-traits-13th-zodiac-sign-2747550.html
http://the-red-thread.net/ophiuchus2.html
Apparently, the traits of people who are eight-legged-freaks under the new sign are as follows:
> interpreter of dreams, vivid premonitions,
HIT because my dreams often carry a potent double-meaning message (like, if I dream bad stuff, good things happen, and when I dream good things, BATSHIT happens). In terms of vivid, Sparda says it all.
> attracts good luck and fruitful blessings,
HIT AND MISS If I attract good luck, why'd I always get shot by the old man over the nothing I've done? =o=;
> serpent holder, lofty ideals,
HIT because yet I 'fess, I'm ambitious. And a goddamn perfectionist, too. Which makes me sometimes hate myself if I cannot achieve what I want.
> a seeker of peace and harmony,
HIT AND MISS Hit because I like my peace in the house (means no shouting sessions wherever possible), but miss at times too because I've a destructive ego --- that just, what, recently threatened my life and sanity?
> doctor of medicine or science, natural-pathic,
MISS by a good mile. I HAD thought of taking genetic engineering (after studying Biology in high school) but my drawing hobby drew me literally onto another path altogether --- and I'm answering my calling.
> adds, increases, joins, or gathers together
HIT AND MISS 'coz while I like to add stuff together, I tend to overcomplicate matters. LESS IS MOAR.
> poetical, inventive nature, expanding qualities,
HIT. Self-explanatory.
> seeks higher education and wisdom,
HIT.Because after painstakingly getting a 1st Class Honours Bachelor Degree, here I am back in dinky ol'TOA to take my Double Diploma. Go figure.
> overseer, supervisor of work,
HIT AND MISS because I USED to like overseeing things when I hold the prefect post in junior high.
THEN I started hating it, because being overseer = NO LIFE
So now I rather be the one working in the background, slowly sowing my seeds of mischief and watch the white wind make it flower and bloom furiously...like orchestrating reality. Now, that's what I called LIFE.
> fame - either grand, or completely misunderstood,
HIT or should I say, DOUBLE STRIKE!!! My grand illusory fame tends to delude me anyway.
> longevity, aspirations of healing the ills of man,
HIT AND MISS HIT for the longevity part, MISS for the healing of mankind. Mankind can fend for themselves, SELF-PRESERVATION FIRST RIIIIITE
> architect, builder, reaches for the stars, figuratively and literally,
HIT I'm the architect of your dreams (*nods to Inception)
and I'm the builder of the realm (*nods to Nix's Kingdom's creator)
and I definitely want to reach for the stars!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EV6E13xODyA
*sings FLLLYYY me to the moon, and Let me Play among the Staaaars~~
> tax assessor, or levys taxes,
MISS, by like, a few centuries. I wouldn't mind being a tax collector in the past (BECAUSE I GET TO BEHEAD HEADS! OFF WITH THEIR HEADS!!!), but now....Nah. Too much work.
> astrological talents, intuitive,
HIT. My heart rules my head, and my head rules my limbs, but my guts rule Everything >D
> large family indicated, but apt to be separated from them when young,
MISS it by a good light year, man. Bullshittery in its finest.
> the number twelve holds great significance,
DOUBLE MISS because I thought you said the sign is #13? SHAME ON YOU.
> foresight and good fortune to benefit from hard times,
HIT AND MISS Foresight yes, good fortune not really. My fortune tends to get stuck in transit somewhere before reaching me -- and by the time it reached me, it wasn't fortunate anymore.
> has secret enemies in family or close associations,
HIT. Keep your friends close, keep your enemies with one 10ft-pole in between --- and a webcam on the other end to watch whatever they're up to. OR to make it even more simpler, Facebook.
> many jealous of this subject,
MISS. Who wants to be jealous of me? I think it's more that I'm Jealous (a bit) of others --- y'know, people with BF/GF, who strikes the lottery on a weekly basis, who owns a demon butler called Sebastian who can get him/her the sun, moon, sky and stars if he/she so wishes it, etc. The list is bloody endless.
> notable father, apple of father's eye when young,
HIT coz when I was much younger, the old man treated me much nicer. But as I get older, like my brother, we get subjected to all the crazy batshit verbal abuses.
> high position in life expected [depending on aspects] highest fame and legend comes after death
HIT and probably a JACKPOT in 10 years' time. Provided I remember this entry.
> feelings of granular, wise, genius mentality,
TRIPLE HIT!!! I'm the insane mastermind, wording this crazy text for you for your humour and (mostly) for my amusement.
> likes to wear clothing of vibrant colors, and plaids in particular,
HIT AND MISS HIT because I like the colours Red, Black, White and Purple, in that order.
But PLAIDS!?!? Where the HELL did that come from? DDD<
> receives the favor of those in authority.
MISS If I do, I wouldn't be in Malaysia anymore. I'll probably be lounging away in one of the Queen's rooms in Buckingham Palace, or hole up in Downing Street, or better, back in the mead halls drinkin' like nobody's business. WHAT?
TOTAL DAMAGE: 11 HITS and 13 MISS (including the Hit and Miss).
That pretty much even out each other, and so since it cancel each other,
this load of "facts" about the traits of the 13th sign known simply as the Octopus is declared
VOID and NONSENSICAL! >DDD
And according to the sites above,
I'm the, wow, SERPENT HOLDER (PHEAR ME WORLD, IM DA DADDY OF JORMUNGAND BOLOLOLOLOL)
But of course, those sites are just as bull as every other new NEWS on this,
so, when some peeps started clarifying,
THIS ONLY WORKS FOR PEOPLE BORN YEAR 2009 and AFTER
That makes my niece (born just last year) a bloody two-fish (Pisces).
No longer the proud Aries that Hogzilla is so fond of.
Which is not what Hogzilla had in mind, coz he'd timed the birth to fit into the same sign as his.
(coz Hogzilla's an Aries. That stubborn old goat.)
But, y'know, in 15 minutes,
I'd watched people bicker and debate,
as more chaos and confusion spreads
over ONE BS announcement by a half-crack.
WOW! WHAT A NEW WAY TO WRECK HAVOC ON THE WORLD!!!
Yanno Mr.Kunkle? I woulda say JOB WELL DONE for creating confusion among the masses, but
YOU'RE A LOUSY LIAR
and an even more worthless showman.
Your tricks, SUXORS TO THE MAXXOR, man.
so Get Lost. Off the world stage. Please, take the exit on your left,
AND DON'T. COME. BACK.
http://www.ibtimes.com/articles/101392/20110115/ophiuchus-an-old-hoax-zodiac-sign-13th-kunkle-astrology-astronomers-astrologers-tropical-zodiac-side.htm
Coz humans aren't as DUMB as you think, 'kay.
Google and the Internet is the new world GOD, and NOTHING escapes them >D
Mr.Octopus or rather, Ophiuchus (some smartass have started labelling him as Ophiuchan! SO KIUT, Ophiu-chan!)
You can just stay there off the radar in the sky.
Zeus just wants to decorate the top part of his realm with something shiny and full of concept and
bursting with life and history and OOH at least owns some legacy/origin with mankind (your man, Asclepius)
So thanks for existing anyway, sorry for the unwanted spotlight on ye,
Please don't play so rough with Jorgie,
and auf wiedersehen, cheers, have a nice day, fare thee well, and
Jubileus the Creator shall grace you! Screw Balder, he likes to harp this line
AAAANYWAY, BYE, Ophiu-chan~
Your overnight-shot-to-fame / TIME OF GLORY is over.
And I, as the Trickster God, couldn't care less >DDD
--------------
So I guess that's the end of this whole grand mess,
And my hour is up.
Time to bottle this cacklin' spirit of mischief-making for another good round another day,
And so, good nite.
Hope this has been a merry read XDDD
-L