On a high horse..

[tao_gone_blue]

    Sex. Ain't. Bad.

I've written that very sentence and variations of it over a million times in my life. Yes, 999,999 times, and then some more. I used to spend hours writing or typing it when I lost my mind in the night. Why, oh why, oh hell, oh why does it still sound like I'm trying to convince myself of it? I'm havin' an issue right now.

Comments

[tao_gone_blue]

Always nice to know the sanitarium is at no loss for inmates. I seriously worry that crazy isn't as bad as it's cracked up to be. I've heard for a long time that the world is nothing but a collected association of a shared paradigm of insanity. So, if you're crazy is different, and it feels more and more like it ain't wrong, then becomes more and more obviously the right answer - where the fuck is the line between positive dementia and standard issue street-preacher issue psychosis? When does one cross the line from the place where your insanity is constructing a better world for you, to one where you're just standing in traffic waving your dick and a middle finger at passing traffic and small children?

[childofmetis]

Reading this makes me regret the fact that I built a lot of my walls back up. I stopped being as much of a "freak". And the rebuilt walls are frustrating, since I feel like they aren't wood or stone, but instead, so much bullshit.

But did I really break those walls down? Or did I just push them further back? I feel like I tried and I went about it the wrong way the last time.

[tao_gone_blue]

Could be. You made a pretty good freak in my opinion. But, you obviously did whatever it was you felt you had to do. If you're curious - I'd say take a swing at 'em with the Axe. They might come down on their own if they're hollow. If they're solid, at least you'll know what you're up against.

[violet_kanji]

Hugs!

[tao_gone_blue]

Thanks, Doll. It's good to see you out in the world. ~Grin~

[noctregryps]

You know how much of a box I live in. I've also word-for-word told you I live vicariously through you in a great deal. I'll admit envy, that you're so free with your sexuality- I even have tried poking at my own, and seriously trying to figure out why I'm so vanilla I make ulcer patients complain about a lack of flavor...well, kinda. The few things I know hit my buttons aren't things I'd talk to anybody about, except possibly with you, oddly enough, because you know who I am and where I come from on a lot of things, and to you, I think it would make sense and be accepted...whereas even my best friends I keep it stuffed away from for fear they will wonder what's wrong with me or worse, think I've been to much into things in my life- you'd understand if I told you, but no offense, I don't trust public bloggin'. :P ANYHOW! Point of this is that every time I've poked at my own walls, tried to figure out how they came to be and why and why I shouldn't just shove them down, I tend to get more anxious than I did when I simply Accepted them

[tao_gone_blue]

Yeah, I concur about the public blogging.

~Starts gnawing~

Maybe it is the awareness of the wall, but I have a primary issue with anything blocking off one of my optional paths. But beyond that, in response to the question, it's striking the balance of Active Dynamism and Passive Dynamism; sometimes one needs to Let life be lived, and sometimes one needs to Live life. The problem is that it's typically when one begins recognizing patterns and seeing stone veins starting to form that it's precisely the time to find a way to break out of/break away from those structures. So, I have a bit more confusion to get through, I think. Contemplation takes up a lot of a Taoist's time - even though it's not really supposed to, heh.

As always, though, I'm glad I can be a outlet for vicariousness and potential dialogue if you need it. ~unsure of what the appropriate therianthrope action to relate here would be - hugs tight~

[dingo_yellowdog]

First off, are you sure you're on top of that horse? :P
Well, I can relate to having a wall before me, and being a lot shorter, you bet I have a harder time getting over it than you. I was thinking about your Taoist tendencies, and maybe the wall isn't an obstacle, but something to lean on, and rest a while. It's all in how you see it maybe?
I hope you feel better about your internal troubles. *pats the Panther* :)

[tao_gone_blue]

Yeah, I'm on top of the horse. ~Grin~

I think the idea of leaning on the wall for a moment might be a good one. Maybe it's time for a cigarette break, and one always looks much cooler if they're leaning against a wall while they smoke. Like Fonzie. B-)

[negative_earth]

But do you have a jukebox to bitchslap around? 'Cause you're not Arthur Fonzorelli unless you've got a song that comes out when you punch a machine.