(no subject)
I decided to toss a few of my poems up on here... enjoy.
actually- they're old ones. I've been to lazy/distracted to write lately. so... there's a good chance you've already read them. hah- and they're not all poems either. i guess i shoulda just wrote: "I'm gonna dump a bunch of shit i wrote on here... have fun." ...well- there ya go. bear in mind, a lot of these are painfully narrative, so you'll have to suffer through the forced rhymes. but speaking of tolerating my narration- if anybody knows what my poems are about or has something interesting to say (such as CARLY- who borrowed my poem "night" for a school project and the teacher almost sent it to a lit mag... yeah- that woulda been funny.) then SAY IT! itll make me smile. ^^ oh and- this link is on my menu on the left side of my journal. w00t- i did it, and it was easy.
**please comment if you find typos/html errors or want to name my untitled pieces... otherwise they will stay as they are. you will be able to tell i changed it when i delete your comment- naming my poems: i'll give u credit. :) ty!**
desperately need names for untitled!! [[help]] ((*= new)) read comments
freedom awaits*
untitled 5*
untitled randomness*
good intentions
no more calls
sex sells.
drowned
untitled
untitled 2
untitled 3
untitled 4
trapped
good intentions 2
twisted
empty arms
okay
daddy's girl
wishful thinking
river of your love
last chapter
night
only
every pulse an echo of a promise faded gray
my heart beat frays the leash made of everything you'd say
my tears are screams i swallowed, expanding salty walls
shattered on the ground, these tears take months to fall
a trail of bloody footprints, the race begins to start
the finish line, warm crimson love, still dripping from my heart.
back to top
please wake me from my dreams
when i see his luminated face
my withered dignity falls to dust
and hope now takes its place
i dont want to remember
my heart past due in debt
reluctantly i offer you
just please help me forget
i'll burn my diary pages
i'll scribble out my mind
i've lost count of the moments
i'd pray for one last lie
i hate myself for loving you
i'm drowning in your eyes
i hate myself in ignorance
believing all your lies.
back to top
i look around and see faces
all of them i recognize
i know their secrets, i know their lies
i know my reflection in their eyes
they know i know their laughs
their smiles, and their fears
i know my reflection because i shoulder all their tears.
i know what to say because i listen with my heart
i'm so close to you, but we're so far apart.
back to top
what do i want from you?
what do you want from me?
the image of you in my mind
just won't let me be
i try not to think of you
then i try just not to think
i feel so trapped among my thoughts
i hope your trapped like me.
I hope when you lie down
tangled in your sheets
you close your eyes and you create
these images of me.
and when you cannot take it
and i can't bear it too
opened eyes from tortured dreams
will find me next to you.
back to top
i weave a humble rope
and drape it round my neck
i climb six solemn stairs
to take my final step
all is in slow motion
and now i see your face
i hope you now already
i have been in your place
i know just how it feels
to give away your heart
and as they pull the knife back out
you silently fall apart
maybe i am wrong
or you just won't admit
you're satisfied i took the blade
and made a painful slit
i thought that i was right
but you whispered in my ear
i made things so much worse
since she's no longer here
all the pain i caused now
is draped around my neck
i didn't hear you hollar stop
so i took my final step.
back to top
i really do like you
and i like the way you make me feel
i'd do anything you'd ask of me
if you'd convince me that it's real.
i don't feel this way with anyone else
and i'm not sure that i could
but if you don't see how i do
then tell me why i should.
you want us to stay a secret
but i don't understand why
i'll do it since you asked me to
but i don't want to hide
when no one else is around
you know exactly what to say
you would press you lips on mine
and never pull away
but around your friends
you won't look me in the eye
i'm isolated by your side
heart twisted, hung to dry.
back to top
silent sounds
and empty arms
hopeful thoughts
you bring this harm
force a smile
insatiable lust
you fill me with
a broken trust
you follow me
to the end of the hall
your talking but saying
nothing at all
we try to escape
the door is locked
this shouldn't have happened
we shouldn't have talked
you lead me to
an empty room
you lead me on
i follow too
victim to your
inescapable charm
you leave me here
with empty arms.
back to top
i'm okay you walked away
you left me here alone
you call to find my thoughts
i shouldn't have picked up the phone
i don't listen when you explain
so i pretend instead
i can't hear you now
you're drowned out by the things you never said
you can turn your back
pretend i was never here
i'll still be your friend
but i won't spend my tears
don't treat me like a child though,
don't push me down again.
remember when i'd sit by you?
i wasn't to young then.
it's already behind you
and now i drop the act
i still want to be with you
but i don't want you back.
back to top
daddy's girl is happy
outgoing, smart, and sweet
she's always got a smile
but emotionally, she's beat.
she wants you all to think
and not to compensate
that she's got it easy
and that her life is great
daddy's girl is pretty
with that shirt and matching shoes
but that long sleeve shirt
is to cover up the bruise.
and those sparkling eyes
and that flowing hair
wasn't quite as graceful
being dragged down all those stairs.
when you made her laugh
you'd be surprised to learn
that she wasn't blushing
it was only carpet burn.
so when you see daddy's girl
and she invites you with a smile,
i bet you start to wonder
is it really worth the while?
back to top
no excuse to call you
but i call you just the same
i don't know what to say
after asking for your name
i stutter silent thoughts
just to hear your voice
i listen carefully
for an implicative choice
i want you to tell me
and for it to be true
that you feel the same as me
cause i'm in love with you
i want you to mean it
when you whisper in my ear
and i want you to think of me
when i'm no longer here.
back to top
i'm lying face down in a river of your love
you're holding my head down from up above
i feel as though i'm not alone in this light
i see your face and it settles my fight
i know you care, it's in your grip
your hand comforts my neck as i start to slip
i'm fading in your hands
but you won't let me go
no one notices i'm in your hands
you won't let them know
you'll never let them know.
back to top
i'm okay you left
and i have no regrets
i don't know if we're through
but i know we're through for now
in this diary of mine
i write a fairy tale
i write the things you did with me
but now i just can't tell
i don't know if we're through
something in me hopes again
but i can't see us anymore
and my story has no end
my knight in shining armor
he never did exist
my mind begins to idol
but you're not here to persist
i'm okay you left
i wanted one more time
one final chapter to my tale
but now you've left, i'm fine.
back to top
quiet is night
lay all alone
think of the things
i shouldn't have shown
sit in the dark
heavy and dull
you left me
but already i'm full
i never was empty
too long from your time
the time that you wasted
it wasn't mine
my covers are as
warm as your arms
they lie innocently
with all of your charm
my pillow is soft
my pillow is cool
it won't judge me
i'm never the fool
and now i can sleep
without wasting my tears
i don't worry of you
i'm free from those fears
back to top the only comfort you provide
is the smile you try to hide
the only thing that you could see
you closed your eyes, you wanted free
your gentle hands were never rough
but you pulled away at my touch
and when the words, they left my mouth
you walked away and left me down.
back to top
watch me slowly suffocate
i do it all for you
i wait for time to stop
my noose is tied to the end of the minute hand
and it's almost 11.45
every second bleeds from my eyes
watch them fall like tear drops
but dont be so ignorant to believe that's what they are
because when your drowning in my blood
you'll be begging me for my salty tears to pour in your cuts
to heal your wounds
to wash my blood from your memory
and hide your memories in my tomb
will you sleep with me
if i lay still?
your empty morals seeping through me like a pill
would you hold me close
and whisper in my ear?
...confessions of the sins i'd never hear
at least now i'm patient
i rest my head
it's so much easier to love me
when i'm dead.
back to top
any motivation i once had
is long since faded, gone
im left in the wake i created
and i know this is where i belong
underneath this water
there's only light to see
no more dark, suspicious stares
no one watching me
no one left to care
no one left to speak
the words that now i run from
these words are drowning me
all the things i said
took so long to react
and now that i am sorry
you stab me in the back
the surface of the water
dances in the light
i don't have to see you anymore
and i don't have to fight
water in my body
waves reflected in my eyes
the light which can't escape me
hides me from you lies.
back to top
late at night, the hinges creak as she eases open the door. The room is still except for an inviting hum, floating from the hallway. Subconscienciously drifting through the narrow path she reveals an old fashioned bath tub, outlined by softly glowing candles. The humming approaches her from behind and tickles the zipper on her skirt. She glances down to watch her skirt fall carelessly to the ground. After being freed from the rest of her clothing, she slips gracefully under the mask of foam and into the water. Its warmth envelopes her body. She sighs gratefully as he begins to massage her. He works his hands patiently, then gaining speed, until finally the water again is calm. She unfolds herself from the glowing bubbles and dries h erself off. Finally she retraces her steps through the hallway, but not before motioning for him to follow. back to top
i take barbed wire and wrap your neck, then push you from the lefge. I watch your eyes dialate and your body tremble. I walk down to you, never letting my eyes stray from the beautiful torment pouring through your quivering lips. A pale shade of fear sweeps over your face as you wonder what i'll do next. I reach up to your neck and push the wire up a little further. With two fingers, I catch a stream of your crimson sweat and smear it across my soft lips. I run my hand from your bloody neck to the hem of your pants, unbuttoning them slowly. I kiss you gently, leaving perfect lip prints of your blood on your stomach. "Goodbye," I whisper. Your body hangs peacefully motionless. "I promise I won't call again," I reply to the aband oned stare in your eyes. back to top
make a rope of good intentions
and hang me by my heart
i should have realized long ago
and quit before you start.
i watch and i admire
the grace with which you tie
and drape the noose around my neck
as i whisper my last desperate goodbye
you close a door in the back of my mind
a scarlet tear falls from my eye
crawling down my face
it drips onto my chest
and to my heart to fill a void
you left me with at best
this feeling that you leave with me
is wrong but i don't care
i hate this lasting breath of hope
that you refuse to share
the clouds creep in like smoke
the rain will wash away
all the things that i believed
from all the things you'd say
but everytime you hear the sound
of water rushing by
your forced to stop and think
you left me quietly to die.
back to top
i'm beside myself but i'm alone
you can't define my life
i'll do it on my own
the thoughts in my head
flow free from the lead
my pencil is light
the ends far from sight
i'm just a teenager
with stress tearing at my mind
don't tell me why i'm wrong
i don't care that i'm blind
run head on into probles
that i know i can't beat
run head into you
knock you off your feet
your disappointment is apparent in your tears, leave me crumpled alone on the floor here
2 years and 1 month and 11 short days
freedom awaits. yeah,
freedom awaits.
2 years and 1 month and 11 short days
freedom awaits. yeah,
freedom awaits.
get away from this Suburbia, Hell.
i never meant to put you down
i never meant to hurt you
back the fuck away!
leave me here alone
I NEVER CALLED THIS HOME.
2 years and 1 month and 11 short days... ...freedom awaits.
back to top
i watch you comprimise
(your) simple expectations
to avoid another fight
comprimise your whole life
then cry yourself to sleep at night.
i'm feeling stubborn, so I can't see your misty eyes
i turn up the music and i don't even try
i never meant to live like this!
what happened to us?
someday i'll save this relationship
but i'm much to tired now.
...to tired of the same routine (to change)
the engergy escapes me,
but never my pride.
**struck down at the knees,
and i'm yours my dear
do with me what you please
abandon my pride,
i guess now it's time
so i'm yours, my dear, i'm yours.
struck down at the knees
i'm yours my dear, do what you please**
we always comprimise our lives. we always comprimise.
((**=part i like... i wrote the poem- to have a place to put that. the rest is just < meh > filler.))
back to top
breathing heavy because i can't feel
the breath that fills my lungs
i can't hear you screaming
through the music
((it's so loud)) x3
and i can kick and scream in
your arms because you can't hold
me down ((you won't hold me down))
i will tear into you and
your flesh will fall
[spoken: and you will be exposed]
i'll come to myself and realize
i must be admired from somebody's eyes
i see you in the distance
i watched as you fell
i'm sure you're admired in your
own personal hell
...and your left with everything you never
learned lying there on the ground...
back to top
back to top
actually- they're old ones. I've been to lazy/distracted to write lately. so... there's a good chance you've already read them. hah- and they're not all poems either. i guess i shoulda just wrote: "I'm gonna dump a bunch of shit i wrote on here... have fun." ...well- there ya go. bear in mind, a lot of these are painfully narrative, so you'll have to suffer through the forced rhymes. but speaking of tolerating my narration- if anybody knows what my poems are about or has something interesting to say (such as CARLY- who borrowed my poem "night" for a school project and the teacher almost sent it to a lit mag... yeah- that woulda been funny.) then SAY IT! itll make me smile. ^^ oh and- this link is on my menu on the left side of my journal. w00t- i did it, and it was easy.
**please comment if you find typos/html errors or want to name my untitled pieces... otherwise they will stay as they are. you will be able to tell i changed it when i delete your comment- naming my poems: i'll give u credit. :) ty!**
desperately need names for untitled!! [[help]] ((*= new))
every pulse an echo of a promise faded gray
my heart beat frays the leash made of everything you'd say
my tears are screams i swallowed, expanding salty walls
shattered on the ground, these tears take months to fall
a trail of bloody footprints, the race begins to start
the finish line, warm crimson love, still dripping from my heart.
back to top
please wake me from my dreams
when i see his luminated face
my withered dignity falls to dust
and hope now takes its place
i dont want to remember
my heart past due in debt
reluctantly i offer you
just please help me forget
i'll burn my diary pages
i'll scribble out my mind
i've lost count of the moments
i'd pray for one last lie
i hate myself for loving you
i'm drowning in your eyes
i hate myself in ignorance
believing all your lies.
back to top
i look around and see faces
all of them i recognize
i know their secrets, i know their lies
i know my reflection in their eyes
they know i know their laughs
their smiles, and their fears
i know my reflection because i shoulder all their tears.
i know what to say because i listen with my heart
i'm so close to you, but we're so far apart.
back to top
what do i want from you?
what do you want from me?
the image of you in my mind
just won't let me be
i try not to think of you
then i try just not to think
i feel so trapped among my thoughts
i hope your trapped like me.
I hope when you lie down
tangled in your sheets
you close your eyes and you create
these images of me.
and when you cannot take it
and i can't bear it too
opened eyes from tortured dreams
will find me next to you.
back to top
i weave a humble rope
and drape it round my neck
i climb six solemn stairs
to take my final step
all is in slow motion
and now i see your face
i hope you now already
i have been in your place
i know just how it feels
to give away your heart
and as they pull the knife back out
you silently fall apart
maybe i am wrong
or you just won't admit
you're satisfied i took the blade
and made a painful slit
i thought that i was right
but you whispered in my ear
i made things so much worse
since she's no longer here
all the pain i caused now
is draped around my neck
i didn't hear you hollar stop
so i took my final step.
back to top
i really do like you
and i like the way you make me feel
i'd do anything you'd ask of me
if you'd convince me that it's real.
i don't feel this way with anyone else
and i'm not sure that i could
but if you don't see how i do
then tell me why i should.
you want us to stay a secret
but i don't understand why
i'll do it since you asked me to
but i don't want to hide
when no one else is around
you know exactly what to say
you would press you lips on mine
and never pull away
but around your friends
you won't look me in the eye
i'm isolated by your side
heart twisted, hung to dry.
back to top
silent sounds
and empty arms
hopeful thoughts
you bring this harm
force a smile
insatiable lust
you fill me with
a broken trust
you follow me
to the end of the hall
your talking but saying
nothing at all
we try to escape
the door is locked
this shouldn't have happened
we shouldn't have talked
you lead me to
an empty room
you lead me on
i follow too
victim to your
inescapable charm
you leave me here
with empty arms.
back to top
i'm okay you walked away
you left me here alone
you call to find my thoughts
i shouldn't have picked up the phone
i don't listen when you explain
so i pretend instead
i can't hear you now
you're drowned out by the things you never said
you can turn your back
pretend i was never here
i'll still be your friend
but i won't spend my tears
don't treat me like a child though,
don't push me down again.
remember when i'd sit by you?
i wasn't to young then.
it's already behind you
and now i drop the act
i still want to be with you
but i don't want you back.
back to top
daddy's girl is happy
outgoing, smart, and sweet
she's always got a smile
but emotionally, she's beat.
she wants you all to think
and not to compensate
that she's got it easy
and that her life is great
daddy's girl is pretty
with that shirt and matching shoes
but that long sleeve shirt
is to cover up the bruise.
and those sparkling eyes
and that flowing hair
wasn't quite as graceful
being dragged down all those stairs.
when you made her laugh
you'd be surprised to learn
that she wasn't blushing
it was only carpet burn.
so when you see daddy's girl
and she invites you with a smile,
i bet you start to wonder
is it really worth the while?
back to top
no excuse to call you
but i call you just the same
i don't know what to say
after asking for your name
i stutter silent thoughts
just to hear your voice
i listen carefully
for an implicative choice
i want you to tell me
and for it to be true
that you feel the same as me
cause i'm in love with you
i want you to mean it
when you whisper in my ear
and i want you to think of me
when i'm no longer here.
back to top
i'm lying face down in a river of your love
you're holding my head down from up above
i feel as though i'm not alone in this light
i see your face and it settles my fight
i know you care, it's in your grip
your hand comforts my neck as i start to slip
i'm fading in your hands
but you won't let me go
no one notices i'm in your hands
you won't let them know
you'll never let them know.
back to top
i'm okay you left
and i have no regrets
i don't know if we're through
but i know we're through for now
in this diary of mine
i write a fairy tale
i write the things you did with me
but now i just can't tell
i don't know if we're through
something in me hopes again
but i can't see us anymore
and my story has no end
my knight in shining armor
he never did exist
my mind begins to idol
but you're not here to persist
i'm okay you left
i wanted one more time
one final chapter to my tale
but now you've left, i'm fine.
back to top
quiet is night
lay all alone
think of the things
i shouldn't have shown
sit in the dark
heavy and dull
you left me
but already i'm full
i never was empty
too long from your time
the time that you wasted
it wasn't mine
my covers are as
warm as your arms
they lie innocently
with all of your charm
my pillow is soft
my pillow is cool
it won't judge me
i'm never the fool
and now i can sleep
without wasting my tears
i don't worry of you
i'm free from those fears
back to top the only comfort you provide
is the smile you try to hide
the only thing that you could see
you closed your eyes, you wanted free
your gentle hands were never rough
but you pulled away at my touch
and when the words, they left my mouth
you walked away and left me down.
back to top
watch me slowly suffocate
i do it all for you
i wait for time to stop
my noose is tied to the end of the minute hand
and it's almost 11.45
every second bleeds from my eyes
watch them fall like tear drops
but dont be so ignorant to believe that's what they are
because when your drowning in my blood
you'll be begging me for my salty tears to pour in your cuts
to heal your wounds
to wash my blood from your memory
and hide your memories in my tomb
will you sleep with me
if i lay still?
your empty morals seeping through me like a pill
would you hold me close
and whisper in my ear?
...confessions of the sins i'd never hear
at least now i'm patient
i rest my head
it's so much easier to love me
when i'm dead.
back to top
any motivation i once had
is long since faded, gone
im left in the wake i created
and i know this is where i belong
underneath this water
there's only light to see
no more dark, suspicious stares
no one watching me
no one left to care
no one left to speak
the words that now i run from
these words are drowning me
all the things i said
took so long to react
and now that i am sorry
you stab me in the back
the surface of the water
dances in the light
i don't have to see you anymore
and i don't have to fight
water in my body
waves reflected in my eyes
the light which can't escape me
hides me from you lies.
back to top
late at night, the hinges creak as she eases open the door. The room is still except for an inviting hum, floating from the hallway. Subconscienciously drifting through the narrow path she reveals an old fashioned bath tub, outlined by softly glowing candles. The humming approaches her from behind and tickles the zipper on her skirt. She glances down to watch her skirt fall carelessly to the ground. After being freed from the rest of her clothing, she slips gracefully under the mask of foam and into the water. Its warmth envelopes her body. She sighs gratefully as he begins to massage her. He works his hands patiently, then gaining speed, until finally the water again is calm. She unfolds herself from the glowing bubbles and dries h erself off. Finally she retraces her steps through the hallway, but not before motioning for him to follow. back to top
i take barbed wire and wrap your neck, then push you from the lefge. I watch your eyes dialate and your body tremble. I walk down to you, never letting my eyes stray from the beautiful torment pouring through your quivering lips. A pale shade of fear sweeps over your face as you wonder what i'll do next. I reach up to your neck and push the wire up a little further. With two fingers, I catch a stream of your crimson sweat and smear it across my soft lips. I run my hand from your bloody neck to the hem of your pants, unbuttoning them slowly. I kiss you gently, leaving perfect lip prints of your blood on your stomach. "Goodbye," I whisper. Your body hangs peacefully motionless. "I promise I won't call again," I reply to the aband oned stare in your eyes. back to top
make a rope of good intentions
and hang me by my heart
i should have realized long ago
and quit before you start.
i watch and i admire
the grace with which you tie
and drape the noose around my neck
as i whisper my last desperate goodbye
you close a door in the back of my mind
a scarlet tear falls from my eye
crawling down my face
it drips onto my chest
and to my heart to fill a void
you left me with at best
this feeling that you leave with me
is wrong but i don't care
i hate this lasting breath of hope
that you refuse to share
the clouds creep in like smoke
the rain will wash away
all the things that i believed
from all the things you'd say
but everytime you hear the sound
of water rushing by
your forced to stop and think
you left me quietly to die.
back to top
i'm beside myself but i'm alone
you can't define my life
i'll do it on my own
the thoughts in my head
flow free from the lead
my pencil is light
the ends far from sight
i'm just a teenager
with stress tearing at my mind
don't tell me why i'm wrong
i don't care that i'm blind
run head on into probles
that i know i can't beat
run head into you
knock you off your feet
your disappointment is apparent in your tears, leave me crumpled alone on the floor here
2 years and 1 month and 11 short days
freedom awaits. yeah,
freedom awaits.
2 years and 1 month and 11 short days
freedom awaits. yeah,
freedom awaits.
get away from this Suburbia, Hell.
i never meant to put you down
i never meant to hurt you
back the fuck away!
leave me here alone
I NEVER CALLED THIS HOME.
2 years and 1 month and 11 short days... ...freedom awaits.
back to top
i watch you comprimise
(your) simple expectations
to avoid another fight
comprimise your whole life
then cry yourself to sleep at night.
i'm feeling stubborn, so I can't see your misty eyes
i turn up the music and i don't even try
i never meant to live like this!
what happened to us?
someday i'll save this relationship
but i'm much to tired now.
...to tired of the same routine (to change)
the engergy escapes me,
but never my pride.
**struck down at the knees,
and i'm yours my dear
do with me what you please
abandon my pride,
i guess now it's time
so i'm yours, my dear, i'm yours.
struck down at the knees
i'm yours my dear, do what you please**
we always comprimise our lives. we always comprimise.
((**=part i like... i wrote the poem- to have a place to put that. the rest is just < meh > filler.))
back to top
breathing heavy because i can't feel
the breath that fills my lungs
i can't hear you screaming
through the music
((it's so loud)) x3
and i can kick and scream in
your arms because you can't hold
me down ((you won't hold me down))
i will tear into you and
your flesh will fall
[spoken: and you will be exposed]
i'll come to myself and realize
i must be admired from somebody's eyes
i see you in the distance
i watched as you fell
i'm sure you're admired in your
own personal hell
...and your left with everything you never
learned lying there on the ground...
back to top
back to top