Time-warp to a few years ago..
This was originally posted by me in my other journal on 9/11's first anniversary.
Hundreds of posts, thousands of speeches, millions of tears.
May your shoulders be lightened this day.
Today was different from most days, apart from the anniversary that happens to fall on it. I'm willing to wager that not one child needed to ask his or her teacher what the date was. When you woke up this morning, could you not feel a difference? There was a feeling, a certain tangibility to the day. It was unnatural. It was cold. There was a strikingness about it that I can still feel. When you walked outside today, did the wind find you in a different way than ever before? Did it scatter your tears amidst the raindrops? You knew that today was September the eleventh.
The Rant
Today we united. If not by holding of hands or moments of silence, then in the spirit of the events that transpired one year ago today. Yet I'm saddened for another reason. A year ago, yesterday, you seldom heard how proud people were to be an American, and how great this country was. Twenty-four hours changed an entire nation, and suddenly we were all Americans. I address this because today I heard several people discussing that 9/11 was a great event because it brought us all together. Granted, it's wonderful that we're all in this together, but this is not an end-justifies-the-means situation. We do not sacrifice thousands of people to unite millions more. In part, today was lost in a sea of pride which should never have been.
On the other hand, many were fathoms deep in a sea of tears. While crying is natural and healthy, sorrow is not. I cannot expect myself or any of you to look at this day and not hang your head for those lost one year ago. If every American shed a mere two tears today, there would be nearly 550,000,000 droplets of anguished memories. But all the tears that we could possibly shed today, tomorrow, and for all of next year would not amount to any significant change. They will not wash the dust from Ground Zero, they will not exact revenge on those who oppress freedom, and they will not give us a final chance to bid our family and friends farewell. Do you realize that we, in our burgeoning lifetime, have witnessed an event that is so horrifying that even all of us as a people cannot will into entropy?
The Role-reversal
Here's a side of me that you know better. The sadder Harry Martin. You did not know my name one year ago. I wasn't a face on LJ until April of this year. But if any of you had known me, I'm sure you would have heard that I lost a cousin and almost another cousin during the attacks on 9/11. Part of the reason I was so hostile in the previous part of this entry is because of my own contempt for my ways of dealing with the situation. I'm not a hypocrite, per se, but I'm not perfect. I guess I'm just an American. I did not weep today, for the loss of Jake's passing on 9/11. I smile for the achievements that Casey will no doubt be commended on in the future, for her survival. But today at school, there was a candle burning in tribute to those lost. I'm sure many of you had a similar memorial. To me, that candle's flame symbolized Jake's memory. Some kids took it upon themselves to try and blow out the candle at lunch. The utter disrespect...can you imagine my rage? To try and sever that connection...It's terrible. They were promptly suspended, but nonetheless. It still stands that they disrespected many victims and their families by that one awful act. For this, and this alone, I cried today. I still cry thinking about it now.
The Rallying
"To live in America is freedom." That used to be true, but is no longer. Every time we look up to the sky with some distant inkling of fear, we only lose. Terrorism feeds on fear, the entire goal of it is to cause it. So when you look around you, scared of what might become, you let them take ground. We as a people are no longer free, and we will not be free until every last American can stand and say that they are unafraid. The day that we can all look at each other and stand against our fears together...The day that we can say, (to borrow from a movie), "We will not go quietly into the night...we will not vanish without a fight!" Truly, on that day, our freedom will survive. Our freedom will live on. On that day, we will celebrate our independence day. Do not let our lives be inhibited, our heritage stolen, and our future uncertain. Stand with me, take my hand. Let a tear form in one eye, a twinkle in the other, underline them both with a boundless smile, and be proud that you've won a part of the war for your very own. If you won't stand with me now...at least stand with me on that day.
Until that day...May you be blessed, by god, goddess, self or other.
Hundreds of posts, thousands of speeches, millions of tears.
May your shoulders be lightened this day.
Today was different from most days, apart from the anniversary that happens to fall on it. I'm willing to wager that not one child needed to ask his or her teacher what the date was. When you woke up this morning, could you not feel a difference? There was a feeling, a certain tangibility to the day. It was unnatural. It was cold. There was a strikingness about it that I can still feel. When you walked outside today, did the wind find you in a different way than ever before? Did it scatter your tears amidst the raindrops? You knew that today was September the eleventh.
The Rant
Today we united. If not by holding of hands or moments of silence, then in the spirit of the events that transpired one year ago today. Yet I'm saddened for another reason. A year ago, yesterday, you seldom heard how proud people were to be an American, and how great this country was. Twenty-four hours changed an entire nation, and suddenly we were all Americans. I address this because today I heard several people discussing that 9/11 was a great event because it brought us all together. Granted, it's wonderful that we're all in this together, but this is not an end-justifies-the-means situation. We do not sacrifice thousands of people to unite millions more. In part, today was lost in a sea of pride which should never have been.
On the other hand, many were fathoms deep in a sea of tears. While crying is natural and healthy, sorrow is not. I cannot expect myself or any of you to look at this day and not hang your head for those lost one year ago. If every American shed a mere two tears today, there would be nearly 550,000,000 droplets of anguished memories. But all the tears that we could possibly shed today, tomorrow, and for all of next year would not amount to any significant change. They will not wash the dust from Ground Zero, they will not exact revenge on those who oppress freedom, and they will not give us a final chance to bid our family and friends farewell. Do you realize that we, in our burgeoning lifetime, have witnessed an event that is so horrifying that even all of us as a people cannot will into entropy?
The Role-reversal
Here's a side of me that you know better. The sadder Harry Martin. You did not know my name one year ago. I wasn't a face on LJ until April of this year. But if any of you had known me, I'm sure you would have heard that I lost a cousin and almost another cousin during the attacks on 9/11. Part of the reason I was so hostile in the previous part of this entry is because of my own contempt for my ways of dealing with the situation. I'm not a hypocrite, per se, but I'm not perfect. I guess I'm just an American. I did not weep today, for the loss of Jake's passing on 9/11. I smile for the achievements that Casey will no doubt be commended on in the future, for her survival. But today at school, there was a candle burning in tribute to those lost. I'm sure many of you had a similar memorial. To me, that candle's flame symbolized Jake's memory. Some kids took it upon themselves to try and blow out the candle at lunch. The utter disrespect...can you imagine my rage? To try and sever that connection...It's terrible. They were promptly suspended, but nonetheless. It still stands that they disrespected many victims and their families by that one awful act. For this, and this alone, I cried today. I still cry thinking about it now.
The Rallying
"To live in America is freedom." That used to be true, but is no longer. Every time we look up to the sky with some distant inkling of fear, we only lose. Terrorism feeds on fear, the entire goal of it is to cause it. So when you look around you, scared of what might become, you let them take ground. We as a people are no longer free, and we will not be free until every last American can stand and say that they are unafraid. The day that we can all look at each other and stand against our fears together...The day that we can say, (to borrow from a movie), "We will not go quietly into the night...we will not vanish without a fight!" Truly, on that day, our freedom will survive. Our freedom will live on. On that day, we will celebrate our independence day. Do not let our lives be inhibited, our heritage stolen, and our future uncertain. Stand with me, take my hand. Let a tear form in one eye, a twinkle in the other, underline them both with a boundless smile, and be proud that you've won a part of the war for your very own. If you won't stand with me now...at least stand with me on that day.
Until that day...May you be blessed, by god, goddess, self or other.